Mixed Signals
by RhondaStar
Summary: A Clarisse Joe post PD2 story - what happens after 'Happy Ever After?
1. Default Chapter

**Mixed Signals by _Posh_ and _Stoneygem_**

Part 1

The sound of raindrops against the windowsill was eerily loud in her ears. They disturbed her, driving her to distraction. Not that she minded a distraction. The trade agreement with the Union was exceptionally long and dull. Why she had agreed to check it for Mia, she didn't understand. Rising from her chair in her office, Clarisse, former queen of Genovia, stepped in front of the window to stare out onto the greyish-green lawn of the palace and heaved a sigh.

Early March - gods, how she despised this season. People, always said it smelled of spring, but to her, it was the time of the year, when everything seemed to be exceptionally dead and raw. As if with the snow melting, the merciful covering of the tortured nature had been removed and everything was cruelly dragged up for everybody to see. The weather was still cold and with the constant rain, the world seemed just bleak.

Clarisse sighed. Goodness, the weather certainly fit her mood. Bleak, grey and depressed. She shivered despite the warmth the heating and the fireplace provided. She felt cold inside that was the problem. Closing her eyes with another deep sigh, she contemplated how this could have happened. And how could it have happened so soon.

Naturally, she would have been the last one to consider herself a sexy or even alluring woman, but why did it deteriorate so quickly? They were married for barely nine months now and at night in their bed there was nothing anymore. Lately, he had even avoided touching her.

And oh how incredibly wonderful those nine months had been. It seemed that he couldn't get enough of her, of wanting to be near her every moment of the day, of wanting to spoil her with private gifts, of wanting to kiss her, to hold her, to whisper secret desires and fantasies…

Where had that all gone? She never expected it in the first place; sex had never been a major, or even minor, part of her life. With Rupert it was purely functional and after the boys were born it dwindled and disappeared which she didn't mind at all. However when she'd married Joseph she'd discovered an entirely new side of herself, from the wedding night he'd awoken passions in her that she never even realised existed. They'd honeymooned for only a week and for four days they hadn't even left their room. She felt herself blushing even now at the memory.

Sighing deeply she moved back to her desk and lifted her teacup to her lips then quickly swallowed and hastily replaced it on the saucer. It was stone cold. Just how long had she been sitting here anyway? She shuffled the papers on her desk, too long."Oh Clarisse get a grip on yourself…" She chastised leaning back in her chair. It wasn't as if they were teenagers anymore, they weren't in the first flush of romance and heady sexual tension. Yet still… still she felt altogether, well, frustrated. How could this man awaken all these desires and wants and needs and then simply begin to ignore her in that way?

She thought nothing of it when they'd gone a week without making love, after two it occurred to her that Joseph hadn't touched her intimately for a while. After three she began to worry, there were no early morning cuddles, no more evenings wrapped up on the couch consumed by delicious kisses. Oh goodness he knew how to kiss…

Funny, it hadn't occurred to her until now that not only had they stopped making love at some point, but they had stopped touching altogether. Or better, he had stopped touching her.

The thought gripped her with like a vice and she began frantically to search her mind, when it had occurred. When had he stopped taking the time to touch her?

Suddenly, even the dwindling daylight was too much for Clarisse to endure. She squeezed her eyes shut in pain. Oh god! The events of that morning suddenly came back to her with an almost surreal clearness. He had had gone on another training session with the boys, claiming that they needed their former boss as guidance. She didn't like this, even less since the accident he had had the last time, but had bowed to his wish nonetheless.

Together with Mia and Charlotte, she had seen him off, but when she leaned over to kiss his mouth for goodbye, he had quickly averted his face and her kiss had barely touched his cheek. And despite the minimal contact he had still flinched at her touch. What had happened? What had happened that she had not only lost her allure, but had become so repulsive to her husband that he couldn't even endure a simple kiss on the cheek. He had even kept his arms almost tied to his sides. Even when she had staggered from the momentum, he had made no move to keep her upright.

At the moment, she hadn't thought too much of it, her mind already half-occupied by the tight schedule of the day, but now the embarrassed faces of Mia and Charlotte registered. They had blushed deeply, but as Clarisse realized now, not with the usual indulgent grin they had been sporting during the first months of their marriage, when it had become some kind of a game, who'd manage to walk in on them the most. This morning, their faces had been filled with embarrassment - yes, but with sadness as well. So, the fact that her marriage was going downhill already showed.

Clarisse took several deep breaths to keep herself from screaming in frustration. Only the sensation of her nails painfully digging into the flesh of her palms held her back.

She was a bad wife, that was it, she was bad wife. Nine months of being Mrs. Romerro and already he was bored of her. She was cold and unfeeling and difficult to bond with and finally it was too much and he'd turned away. Oh god, the thought shot straight to her stomach and she felt the urge to throw up.

How could she have turned him off her already? She loved him, she loved him more than anybody, anything, she would… oh she didn't even know what to do with that love sometimes. It was overwhelming and all consuming and at times it terrified her. Yet she wanted him so badly, needed him, and now it seemed the more she got, the closer they grew, the more time they spent together the more she wanted.

There was no turning back from this, when she'd walked down that aisle, when she'd said those vows, it was for life. This marriage was for life, and she was damned if she was going to lose him that easily. No, she wasn't cold, she wasn't unfeeling, she would show him just how much he meant to her. Just how deeply she loved him. Just how loving she could be…

Joseph would be away for two days, well one day was almost over and according to their timetable he should be home for 7:30 the following evening. So that gave her just over twenty-four hours to totally beautify herself for him. Perhaps organise a romantic meal, wine, candles, an intimate setting... yes that would work. And if she wore her new black dress... yes, it was almost backless and Joseph had always adored her back. She smiled to herself and closed her eyes as a memory went through her, lying flat on her stomach in bed with Joseph slowly licking his way down her spine, tickling her freckles.

Well thoughts like that weren't going to get her anywhere. It was time for a quick trip to the kitchen to organise the Chefs, then arrange to have her nails done, and her hair... yes it would be perfect. He wouldn't be able to resist.

Clarisse rose to her full height at the thought. Yes, there was nothing like a plan. She turned on her heel and strode out of her office to set her plan into motion.

* * *

The food was easily arranged, the call for a hairdresser - not Paolo this time, thank you - and a manicure quickly placed and now she stood inside her walk-in closet to select the perfect little piece of nothing to wear under her dress.

Opening the drawer in which she kept the a little more risqué pieces of lingerie a smile crossed her face. Oh Joseph, to what joys had he introduced her. Feeling and dressing like a woman - a woman who felt sexy and was sexy. At least, that was how he had made her feel until a few weeks ago.

No! No! Clarisse shook her head. She was sexy. Or at least she could be for her husband. She would She would prove it. To him… and to herself.


	2. Part 2

**Part 2 - by _Posh_ and _Stoneygem_**

As former Queen of Genovia Clarisse was used to luxury, decadence, flamboyance, parties and balls and decorative jewels to adorn herself with. Yet somehow a part of her had never felt truly and absolutely beautiful, as Queen she shone brighter than any other woman at any crowded event because she was supposed to. Hours were spent on her choice of dress, hairstyle and jewels. People fussed over her make-up to make sure the perfect exterior was presented to the outside world. Yet beneath that was the woman who longed to be found beautiful just as she woke in the morning.

And with Joseph she found that.

From the beginning, from the morning after they wed she woke in his arms with him watching her. A bemused faraway look on his face as she stirred, and he told her how beautiful she looked, assured her of his love and that this was the way each morning would be from now on. Therefore to wake some months after that and find herself once again alone in their bed was a little unnerving. Then to find she was going to bed alone and Joseph was making excuses as to why he couldn't join her… well she felt that comfort and security slipping away as smoothly as it had arrived.

Now she stared at herself in the mirror and wondered if perhaps she should have enlisted the help of professionals, perhaps he liked that glamorous woman afterall. Perhaps he wanted that to return. Yet here she was, no jewels apart from her wedding ring. Her hair simply brushed, little make-up, a spray of the perfume he'd given her at Christmas and this simple outfit.

It was Mia, of all people, who had picked this dress for her. Chanel yes but not extravagant, simple black with this uneven cut on the bias, it complemented her figure, gave a little something extra to her hips and she almost felt herself swaying deliberately so it would float around her. There was nothing essentially eye-catching about the front but the back, well there wasn't a back, which meant one thing, she didn't have to choose a bra, she couldn't wear one. If she were going anywhere with other company she wouldn't have dared to go without one but as it was just going to be a husband and wife evening it was fine. She toyed with the idea of wearing a wrap but decided against it and simply hoped the open fire would offer enough warmth.

She wore stockings, black lacy French knickers and high shoes that gave her a little lift but not enough as to cause her to tower over him. She wanted to seduce him, not scare him away.

Their suite was the setting, her private dining room filled with candles, the fire lit, a heady scent in the air and light classical music in the background. Nothing to dance to just a relaxing background filler. She felt almost nervous as she sat on the couch waiting for him to return, by 7:15 she was pacing the room and impatiently rubbing her wedding ring. The food she'd chosen was equally simple and uncomplicated. When she'd tried to think of something "sexy" to eat the only idea that came to mind was feeding him. Therefore she'd asked for a selection of finger-foods and Chef had produced platters of fine cheeses, French breads, smoked salmon rolls, King Prawns, home made dips and sauces and mouth watering fresh fruits and salads. She hadn't eaten all day and was surprised to find she was tempted to start picking at the food then and there; instead she poured herself a second glass of wine and watched the clock.

It was 7:50 before she heard the outer door close and heavy footsteps moving across the room towards her.

Standing quickly and positioning herself in front of the fire she waited and stared at the door. In a second the double doors opened and finally there he was.

"Hello." She said nervously, though trying not to appear nervous.

"Hello dear. You look…" He breathed deeply; she noted his eyes travelled down her body taking in the dress, the stockings, the shoes then back up to her face, his eyes dark and irresistible.

"Thank you." She smiled warmly. "How was your little trip?"

"Hard work." He said gruffly stepping into the room and closing the doors. "Clarisse what is all this in aid of, I know I haven't missed anything, anniversary, birthday, special occasion?"

"No, just, to welcome you home." She moved to the table and poured him a glass of wine.

"I've been gone less than forty-eight hours."

"I know." She handed him the glass and lightly kissed his cheek. "But it's the first night apart we've had since we married. Beside I wanted to spoil you, I'm allowed to do that right."

"Yes." He shrugged and sipped his wine gazing about the room at the candles.

"So, are you hungry, come sit." She eagerly moved to the table and pulled a chair back for him.

"Clarisse, darling, I've been travelling non-stop, sleeping in a tent, I need a shower and a change of clothes."

"I don't mind." She watched his face for reaction; saw him mentally stepping back from her. "Please, just eat with me, you can shower after… before dessert."

"I'm not really hungry."

"But I… Chef prepared it specially, please try something, he assured me you'd love this." She lifted a prawn and delicately dipped it into a sauce then holding a napkin in one hand and the fish in the other carried it towards him. "Try it."

He stepped back. "Later."

"Joseph please, you love seafood."

"I do, just not now."

"Just one bite, for me, try it…" She hovered her hand near his mouth, her finger just grazing his lip. She noted him swallow and close his eyes.

"Later, I gotta take a shower." And with that he turned on his heel and exited the room leaving a bemused and rather foolish feeling Clarisse in his wake.

* * *

The majority of the candles had long since faded in light and now Clarisse sat alone in the dissonantly lit room. Her shoes abandoned on the floor she tucked her legs beneath her on the couch and stared into the fire, no longer hungry and the effects of her two glasses of wine seemed to have faded altogether. She didn't expect Joseph to return to her, not now, afterall when did his showers last longer than fifteen minutes? In a while she would rise and undress and go to the bedroom to find him already asleep, and in the morning she would wake to find him already up and about. There would be no mention of her efforts the previous night; the uneaten food would remain uneaten, the candles would be thrown away, the fire would have burnt itself out and the dress that she'd chosen so carefully would be tucked away in her closet never to be worn again.

Sighing she closed her eyes and leant her head back on the couch, feeling her hair loosen she ran her hand through it and then traced her fingers down her jaw line before settling her joined hands in her lap.

She felt a sudden tingle and was about to jump up from her relaxed position when she realised it was her husband's hands resting on her shoulders. She kept her eyes closed afraid the contact would break if she looked to him. His hands traced along her shoulders, rubbing at her aching muscles, his index finger trailed up her neck and finally he sank his hands into her hair and massaged her scalp. She relaxed further into the embrace and a barely audible sigh of pleasure escaped her mouth.

The touch stopped and he backed away from her, only now did she open her eyes and twist her head to look at him.

"Joseph?" Her voice was heavy, tired and emotional.

"It's late." He said not even meeting her eye.

"I know that, I've been sitting here waiting for you, or did that escape your notice."

"I'm sorry." He moved past her to the dining table and blew out the tall candles that stood there burning bright. "You shouldn't have gone to so much trouble, I'm tired…"

Now in virtual darkness she got to her feet and glared at him. "Trouble? Oh Joseph you have no idea how much trouble I went to. Just what has happened to you exactly, when did you become so cold?"

"Clarisse look…"

"No, no, look at me. Acting like some fool over you… dressing up."

"Clarisse, stop."

"Is there something you wish to tell me?" She stared at him, hoping he would reveal some innocent reason for his behaviour of late but the longer she waited the more she realised it wasn't to come.

"No, nothing. Except… goodnight dear."

"Goodnight!" She swung her arms down plucking a cushion from the sofa and squeezing it. "Goodnight…"

"Sweet…"

"Oh go to hell." She threw the cushion at him and stormed across the room. "You can sleep on the damn couch."

And with that it was she who slammed the doors and thus put an end once and for all to the evening of romance.


	3. part 3

**Part 3 by _Posh_ and _Stoneygem_**

It was early when Clarisse woke, sleep hadn't come easy or been uneventful but unfortunately her physical needs outweighed her reluctance to face the world. She was hungry; an entire day without food had taken its toll. She showered and dressed before even leaving the bedchamber and although still fuming found she headed directly to the scene of the previous night's argument.

The room was still dark, and chilly she registered as she moved into the room and shivered. The fire was dead, the curtains still drawn; food still lay on the table though she noted some had been eaten. Joseph must have been hungry after all.

Stepping forward she peered over the top of the couch, he was there, still sleeping, his legs curled up, one arm beneath his head. It can't have been comfortable. Moving around and kneeling in front of him she reached out to touch his face, feeling the lump rise in her throat as she did so. He made her so angry, frustrated her so much, but looking at him now there was no denying the truth of her feelings. It hurt so much because she was so in love with him.

She touched his chin, stroked across the part of his chest that could be seen where the blanket had slipped and shuddered when his hand caught hold of her wrist.

"Good morning." He said without even opening his eyes.

"Morning…"

Now he looked at her, took in her fearful expression, her sparkling eyes, the paleness of her skin.

"I'm sorry I upset you last night." He said with sincerity.

She swallowed. "It's my fault, I shouldn't have pushed, you were tired."

"No, no, you wanted something special, I was wrong to act the way I did."

"I thought you wanted something special too." She said harshly.

He caught the double meaning of her words and couldn't stop himself from reaching up and touching her face. "I still do, this is and always will be…"

His caress was gentle and she turned her face to kiss his fingertips, as soon as her lips made contact with his skin he pulled himself from the embrace and hastily sat up.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." He tried to smile but she noticed the grimace.

"Joseph, are you in pain?" She rested her hand on his chest.

"No, just, aching from sleeping on here. Body isn't so forgiving these days."

"Oh I'm sorry, now that is my fault. Should I order breakfast?"

"I might just take a shower, try and loosen myself up, but feel free to eat without me."

He quickly stood and she sat back on the floor watching him, he clutched the blanket around his waist and she stared up at him. It never bothered him before to walk around their suite naked, in fact right now she rather wished he would. Their shared intimacy seemed to be slipping away.

She waited for him to close the door before whispering to herself.

"I always seem to be eating alone these days."

* * *

Red. Deep dark red. It stood out on her pale skin as blood on newly fallen snow. She gazed into the mirror at herself, mentally passing critique on her body. The flair of her hips sinking into the curve of her waist. Her stomach that was no longer so firm and flat, age was taking its toll. Her breasts though, now there was something that age had been kind to. She'd never been particularly blessed in that area but she found as weight became harder to lose it stuck to her breasts and now she was almost proud of them. They filled the new red lace bra and when she leant forward they swelled into an impressive cleavage.

She couldn't help but smile at the memory of the first time she had woken to find Joseph had fallen to sleep with his head on her chest. It was wonderful and harmonious and sexual and a moment to be cherished. These days she was lucky if he turned over at night and caught her foot with his.

Well, surely, he couldn't resist this. She'd never worn anything so daring… in her entire life she'd never gone to such lengths for a man. She'd sworn she wouldn't do it, after the previous weeks fiasco she had told herself she would never again attempt to seduce him. She wasn't the kind of woman that fell to those depths, she wasn't desperate, she didn't completely rely on him to notice her to bring her to life…

Oh who was she fooling? For as long as she could remember now it was Joseph who she dressed for. It was Joseph who she looked to for approval when she flounced down the corridor in some extravagant gown. Even before they'd ever touched, before he'd ever kissed her hand or she touched his face, before they'd done an act so simple as holding hands it was his face she'd look to, searching his eyes for the love, the desire, the appreciation of her beauty. And damn it she wanted that back, she missed it, she missed his eyes glistening when he looked at her, she missed the way his body would move close to hers, or how he'd greet her with a smile all at once so full of devotion and adoration and yet bubbling under with sexual tension.

She missed the feel of his body next to hers in bed at night, of waking wrapped in his arms, of his kisses on her neck, of moving as one with him. Most of all she missed his proclamations of love as he held her. Whispered words so gentle and caressing they were as a balm to her soul.

She straightened herself up and hastily wiped the tears that began to fall. Crying wasn't going to be sexy. And she could be sexy; he'd told her so several times. That was the reason she was standing here now fastening herself into new red underwear and that thing… oh some flimsy piece of material lay on the bed staring at her. Challenging her. So she had to put that on? Just what was it supposed to cover? Perhaps that was the point, nothing at all…

It could be seen as drastic, afterall this was only her second attempt at seduction and already she'd pulled out the big guns. Second… no make that third. The second attempt didn't really count though, she hadn't done anything really, just swapped her usual long flowing night gowns for a short lilac silky thing. It had the most intricate black lace around the hem and was just so gorgeous; as soon as she'd spotted it in one of Mia's magazines she'd discreetly asked Charlotte to acquire her one. Then she'd remained in the bathroom whilst he climbed into bed and wearing just that had purposefully crossed the room making sure he noticed every curve and slink as she fussed at her dressing table brushing her hair.

When she finally climbed into bed he turned the lamp off and moved closer to her, turning onto his side and leaning over her… had her heart stopped for a second? Then he'd placed a chaste kiss to her forehead, bid her goodnight and turned back over. She couldn't recall a more uncomfortable night's sleep.

So this was it, there was nothing more daring, nothing more eye-catching, jaw-dropping… tonight they would attend the Opera, she would hold his hand in the darkness and stroke his fingers. Tonight she wouldn't simply attempt to be romantic and win him over, tonight she would make it clear what she wanted, in no uncertain terms tonight they Her gown for the Opera was also red and she tingled in anticipation of allowing him to peel it from her body and discover just what she was barely wearing beneath it.

* * *

If this didn't stop soon, things would really get out of hand. All things considered he had done really well. But it was only a matter of time until his luck ran out. If only she would stop this. The silk, the satin, the lace…if she didn't stop this, things would go from bad to worse.

* * *

Genovia's opera house was a neo-baroque building, trimmed with golden decorations. An impressive building with broad staircases and large columns of marble, it always offered a grand place to see and be seen. Tonight however, everybody was certain that one would see in the first place. As the last premiere of the season the ensemble showed "Madame Butterfly" and since it was a well-known fact that her Majesty, Queen Clarisse loved this particular opera, it was expected that she and her husband would attend the event.

Gossip about the couple, which had yet to make an entrance, ran high already and people gathered at the banisters of the staircases to claim a place where they would be able to see everything. A sharp rise in the excited murmur announced the arrival of the couple and within seconds all eyes turned downwards to catch a glimpse. Seconds later, all noise ceased for a moment and hundreds of eyes widened considerably. Then the murmur increased again and more than once a male voice could be heard muttering "Lucky bastard!"

Clarisse, of course, registered the reactions she got from the crowd and inwardly she couldn't help but smirk. If you've got it, you've got it, she thought, feeling admiring eyes burning into her back. Her feeling of pride disappeared quickly however, when she realized that this was the only thing she felt on her back.

To all onlookers they presented the perfect couple: she in her gorgeous dark red gown that was so tight that she actually asked herself how she had gotten into it. The velvet clung to her figure like a second skin, providing a coquettish glimpse of the blood red lace adorning the hems of the flimsy piece she was wearing underneath it. The cut of the gown also made for one hell of a cleavage. Add to that the slit up to her thigh and she was sure she presented a breathtaking image. Joseph however, hadn't commented on it at all. To all bystanders, it looked as if he was guiding her with his hand on the small of her back, however, she could feel that he was not touching her as usual. As a matter of fact, he looked as if he'd rather run away as fast as possible.

Smiling at the assembled crowd as they slowly made their way up the stairs to the royal box, Clarisse felt her smile freeze on her face. Big guns? Didn't seem to work at all. But she hadn't given up. Not yet. They had four hours in total darkness ahead of them and he knew just how much this opera made her cry. The right moment would come and she would use it.

* * *

Two hours later, Clarisse could honestly say that her temper was slowly but steadily rising to the boiling point. Exponentially to this her frustration was rising as well. They had sat next to each other on their armchairs in the royal box in the dark for almost two hours and nothing. Nothing at all. For the first time in her life, she had not followed the fate of Madame Butterfly, but concentrated on getting closer to the man beside her, without being too obvious. Nothing had worked. No scooting closer, no inconspicuously taking his hand. Nothing. All she had gotten was a short squeeze of his hand and then he had disentangled himself from her. The only thing she hadn't tried, was throwing herself at him and…

The appearance of a footman by her side, telling her that the intermission was imminent and asking for their choice of drinks, distracted her momentarily. She'd rather have stayed in the box with Joseph, but appearances had to be kept.

A few minutes later, the lights came on again and excited chatter filed the vast hall. Clarisse turned to her husband and gave him a tender smile. Putting her hand on his arm, she asked: "Are you ready to face the music?"

A grimace of pain, or was it disgust, flitted over his handsome face, but he quickly suppressed it and answered in this incredible sexy undertone of his: "I thought, we faced the music for the last two hours. It's the intermission. There is no music. Only crowds."

She playfully swatted his arm; delighting in the shiver his voice had sent up and down her spine. Maybe…

Joseph quickly stood and straightened himself. Clarisse sighed. He looked too handsome in his black tux. He looked too handsome in black. Period. Too bad, he couldn't have worn a black dress shirt as well. That would have set off the blood red bow tie even more. Still, they way the jacket showed off his shoulders and chest. She closed her eyes for a second imagining how she would peel off this same jacket and shirt and then run her hands over the sculpted muscles of his chest.

"Are you coming, my dear?" his voice came from the door.

Momentarily disoriented, Clarisse turned her head from side to side, looking for him, before she realized that he was already by the open door. Suppressing the frown that was beginning to form on her face, she nodded and rose from her chair. Smoothing any imaginary wrinkles out of her dress, she missed the flare in his eyes and the convulsive swallows he took.

"Clarisse?"

Nodding again, she took the few steps to the door and joined the gaiety on the floor.

At the door he took her hand momentarily and helped her down the few steps from the royal box. She lifted her dress slightly and watched her feet carefully, when she reached the bottom she looked up and caught his eye. He was staring at her, his mouth slightly open, his eyes shining. She gave his hand a squeeze, and to her surprise he lifted her hand and kissed it before letting go and escorting her through the quickly growing crowds.

Perhaps she was over analysing things afterall; perhaps his affections for her hadn't dwindled. But he seemed distant more often than not nowadays and his behaviour towards her changed so quickly. She didn't understand it; she couldn't keep up with it.

Gratefully she accepted the Champagne glass and took a sip gazing around. All these people staring at her, well staring at them, watching to see how the former Queen was handling married life. They all thought it so very amusing that she would stoop to marry a commoner, nothing more than a worker in their eyes. All the gossip that had abounded when they'd unexpectedly married, all the nasty comments and harsh jibes. That he'd married her for money and status and a healthy retirement; that she'd secretly been sleeping with him for years, perhaps even before King Rupert died and she had waited for a moment to formally bring him into the fold. How they wanted it to fail, wanted her to fall.

She turned her gaze to her husband, caught his smile as he laughed at something being said to him. He was chatting to Maria Sandrine, an art critic, a statuesque redheaded art critic with a sharp wit and even sharper nails. Without thinking things through entirely Clarisse leant forward and rested her hand on his arm, she would show all these people. She pressed her mouth to his in a gentle kiss; gripping his arm so he wouldn't pull back she deepened the kiss feeling him stiffen next to her. She let go and moved back astonished at his formal stance.

Oh god, how wrong she was! Ashamed and suddenly embarrassed she stepped back from him, made her excuses to the approaching gossips and headed to the private balcony for some air. Joseph didn't follow, seemingly engrossed in his conversation with Ms. Sandrine, Shades accompanied her outside then politely kept a distance as she wandered off into the darkness. She leant on the rails and closed her eyes lifting her flushed face to the cool night air. She wasn't jealous, there was no room for that, Joseph wasn't the type of man to be indiscreet… was he? No, no he couldn't be. Not like Rupert, not married to her yet sleeping with other women. He'd never do that. Not after everything they'd been through to get here.

She tilted her neck back feeling the lace of her undergarment stretch along her body, it reminded her of tonight's aim. She was about to return to the gathering feeling refreshed when she heard two female voices approaching. They stood a little way down the balcony, leaning together and chatting, gossiping. Clarisse was about to set off past them when she heard one of them say,

"Did you see that dress? She almost couldn't keep her boobs in it. Honestly, what has gotten into her?"

The other answered in a similarly screechy voice, "I'd say, she's more aiming for something to get into her. That's why she wore it in the first place, completely showing off her dessous."

The first replied in a scandalized voice, "Do you really think so? Imagine, the dull queen suddenly sex-crazed." Both giggled.

In the shadows of the balcony Clarisse gripped the railing even tighter as anger surged through like fire. With difficulty both the so-called 'ladies of society' contained their laughter and the first one spoke again,

"How often do you think she's getting it nowadays?"

"With a husband that looks like that who knows... If the man is only remotely in bed like he looks, then she gets it often. Damn, some women just get it all."

"Don't they just, how old do you think he is, fifty-two?"  
"You must be joking, he's her age, well sixty, she's got almost a year on him."

"Never! Well he's looking fine…"

"Absolutely."

Clarisse was about to blurt something out when the bell rang to announce the end of the intermission. Gathering herself she proudly lifted her head and strode purposefully past the two dumbstruck woman, she never even gave them the courtesy of looking to their faces, it didn't matter who they were, she honestly didn't wish to know.

The remaining hours passed comfortably enough, she pushed all thoughts of seduction from her mind and actually sat back and relaxed into the music. She knew the story so well, knew the outcome, the tragedy and heartbreak, yet as the music swelled she still found herself gripping Joseph's hand. Sharing in the woman's cries and anguish, feeling the pain as keenly as if she were on that stage in that role. He never flinched next to her, never tried to move his hand from hers, perhaps he knew she needed the comfort.

When the lights dimmed, just before the curtain rose again, he discreetly handed her a handkerchief and she dabbed at the tears that streamed down her face. She cried every time, no matter how many times she had sat through it, each and every time she was carried away and with those last notes she lost control and allowed the tears to fall in the darkness of the grand house.

It would have been customary - and actually polite - for them to stay afterwards and congratulate artists at the premiere party, but this evening Clarisse just didn't feel up to it. She knew the gossip would run high over it, but she just didn't care. All she wanted was to get home, get out of this dress and all the other bloody material underneath it, don a flannel pyjama and fall into bed. Then she would draw the covers over her head and hopefully not appear again until next year.

All thoughts of a grand seduction were gone from her mind. What had she been thinking, anyway? Exposing herself like that in public. It didn't lead anywhere. And was it really all about sex? Wasn't it all about closeness? Togetherness? Him holding her hand while she cried over an opera? Him holding her cape for her and squeezing her shoulders in assurance?

Maybe that was enough. For the moment.


	4. part 4

**Part 4 by _Posh_ and _Stoneygem_**

The ride home was uneventful. His arm was around her shoulder and her head lay against his chest. It could have been the perfect moment to actually start some 'handiwork', but Clarisse was much too exhausted to even think about it.

It was Shades, who opened the door for them. He didn't say anything, but his short nod gave Joseph the necessary assurance before he helped Clarisse out of the car. The new Chief of Security respectfully bowed to his former monarch and then waited for her to pass him, before he followed the couple inside.

Inside, Charlotte was hurrying out of a hallway into the ballroom, already opening her mouth to explain some new development, but Shades gave her a short wave, after which the aide only bowed as well and wished the couple a good night.

Thus not bothered by anyone, they quickly made their way to their suite. Inside the chambers, Clarisse noted with a relieved sigh that the rooms were only dimly lit, but very well heated. It was still March after all and she wasn't exactly dressed for the temperatures.

Dropping her cape on the backside of the sofa, she arched her upper body to stretch the sore joints, pushing her chest forward. It was a completely unassuming gesture, but mere seconds later she felt her self being pushed against a wall, hands almost roughly covering her breasts and a mouth crushing hers in a bruising kiss.

She responded instantaneously and opened her mouth to his, utter relief and joy flooding through her at the contact. Those months of worry and restraint melted away as she felt his hands roam hungrily over her body. He wanted her, oh god he still wanted her.

She pressed herself into him, welcoming his kisses, his tender caress. He broke this kiss, stroking her lips with his thumb, gazing intently at her.

"Do you realise how beautiful you looked tonight, breath taking…"

She wanted to smile and thank him for the kind words but he kissed her again and she melted into the embrace, arching her back against the wall, feeling his tongue on her neck. He was getting carried away… she was enjoying it.

She felt his hands grip the velvety material of her dress, dragging it up her body. She held her arms up and allowed him to remove it and toss it aside. His mouth touched hers again and she locked her arms around his back.

Then he stopped.

"Clarisse… what are you wearing?"

She looked down at herself, at the overtly sexual lace that clung to her body, that barely covered her, her breasts pushing to be set free against it.

"Oh it was for you, I wanted… maybe it was a little too much."

"A little?" His voice that had previously been so gentle was now harsh and severe.

"Yes, for you. I wanted to show you…"

"I know damn well what you wanted to show me."

"Joseph!"

"No, forget it." He stepped away from her, disentangling himself from her arms.

"Joseph don't, please, it can't look that bad…"

He stopped and stared at her for a second, open mouthed, taking in the shock on her face, her deep heavy breathing lifting her chest.

"Please, I wanted you to want me."

"God Clarisse you think you have to dress like that for me to want you? Then you really don't know me at all." He headed for their bedroom door and she quickly followed him into the chamber.

"It was a treat, a surprise, I wanted to be attractive for you so you didn't have to look elsewhere… I… oh…"

"What!" He roared throwing his jacket to the floor. "Look elsewhere… because that's what men do right Clarisse, married men fuck other woman."

"Please don't speak to me like that."

"How the hell do you want me to speak to you!"

She backed up away from him, her body meeting the cool wall. Still he approached her, his face, she'd never seen him so angry. Unconsciously she dug her nails into her palms waiting for his final outburst.

"I am not Rupert."

"I never said…"

"I am NOT him, I would never do that to you. What kind of man do you take me for!" His voice bellowed around her and she pressed herself back even further, raising a hand to her chest protectively.

"Clarisse," he took hold of her wrist and lowered her hand. "I'm not him, I would never raise a hand to you."

His last words were gentle, and for a moment she thought the anger had passed then he abruptly let go of her hand and, grabbing his pillow, left the room slamming the door after him.

Shivering she stood alone, still gasping for air, still hearing his words in her mind. He knew… how did he know Rupert had ever… nobody knew. She never told a soul.

After a few seconds she took a few shaky steps to the bed and sank down into it. Functioning through sheer will alone she removed her shoes and stockings then pulled the flimsy material from her body and in fury threw it across the room.

The tears stung her face, her eyes were hot and sore and as she furiously wiped at them it only increased the friction on her delicate skin. She should really remove her make-up, clean herself up, but sheer exhaustion took over and instead she merely went to the adjoining bathroom to remove the silly exotic underwear and replace it with something more sensible. Joseph's pyjama shirt.

She turned the lamps off and stood by the bedroom door turning over in her mind whether she should attempt to find him and apologise. In the end she was too afraid of his reaction so simply climbed into bed. Her mind was spinning, twisting over the events of the evening. Those gossips at the opera, the feel of his warm supportive grasp on her hands as she cried, the silent but exquisite drive home, the kisses in the lounge and the shouting in the bedroom. When had she got it so wrong? When had she begun to lose sight of herself and act like a fool?

No more sexy outfits, no more alluring underwear. She was back to being plain old Clarisse, dull and lifeless, that was after all what he married. If he didn't wish to make love to her anymore that was fine, it was good while it lasted. Something's were worth more, her self respect for one.

It was exhaustion rather than a relaxed state of mind that forced her to sleep.

Two hours later she stirred at a noise, before she turned in bed she felt it dip at one side and somebody climb in next to her. She recognised his smell and tensed immediately, suddenly wide-awake.

His body came into contact with her back, his foot touching hers. She was shaking, why the hell was she shaking? His hand slowly slid over her stomach, pulling her closer to him, they fit together so perfectly. She felt his breath on her neck; his lips tenderly sweep over her skin.

"I love you." He whispered and she closed her eyes, a mix of rejoice and tearful heartbreak swooping over her. Her stomach jolted, her heartbeat increased.

She never replied, the moment was perfect as it was, any more words would have broken it. And she wanted to remember that moment for as long as she lived. Just as it was.


	5. part 5

Part 5 by _Posh_ and _Stoneygem_

He had known from the very beginning that at some point his luck was going to run out, he had just never expected it would come to something like this. Didn't she know what she was doing to him? Didn't she know what she could do to him if she kept this up? What had gotten into her? And how the hell was he supposed to deal with the fact that a random line thrown at her had hit the mark like that, so painfully, the fear in her eyes evident.

His dreams had been haunted last night. Haunted by the tantalizing images of her in that dark red dress, even more so by the vision of her barely covered in this… this…this nothing of lingerie. Gods, this image was going to be branded on his memory forever. Haunted as well by the thought of her ducking blows that were dealt to her by a man who was supposed to respect her at least, if he couldn't love her. No, his sleep hadn't been restful and that wasn't good. Not good at all.

* * *

She woke up alone in the bed. Again. Yet, in a way Clarisse was not sad about the fact. She could still feel his warmth among the sheets, she could still smell his scent on her pillow and it surrounded her with a sense of security she had felt slipping away over the weeks.

With effort she opened her eyes, actually worried about the fact that she might have to face the evidence of her foolishness again. In retrospect she could not fathom what had made her make such a spectacle of herself. Dressing in a baby doll that Mia might be ashamed to wear. Honestly.

Joseph's anger had been justified. It was not enticing, it was only embarrassing. She wouldn't do it again. Being able to sleep in his arms every night was more important than those moments of ecstasy. She would get used to it again. She had gone without more years than she would ever be comfortable enough to admit, so she could get used to it again. One should be grateful for the gifts one received and she had received more than she deserved. She had him.

Finally, Clarisse opened her eyes and sat up in the bed. With a sigh she got up and went for the bathroom, less than anticipating the extension of her morning routine that would include the removal of last night's make up and the tear stains. Aging skin wasn't forgiving and the slight itching told her that she had her work cut out for her.

On her way to the bathroom, she looked around the bedchamber thinking hard on into which direction she had actually thrown the flimsy material last night. She couldn't really remember. She looked around the room for the blood red lace and silk. She would put it into the back of her drawer and at an appropriate time dispose of it. Out of sight - out of mind.

She frowned. No spot of dark red material could be seen on the cream-coloured carpet.

Hearing a cough behind her she turned to find Joseph leaning on the doorframe watching her.

"Good morning." He said lightly.

"Erm, morning." She knitted her fingers together, slightly embarrassed as she moved towards him. "I'm sorry for last night."

He held his hand up. "It's me who should apologise, I shouldn't have lost my temper, I was wrong."

"No I…"

"Clarisse, forget it." He rested his hands on her shoulders, massaging her tenderly. "An argument forgotten. Couples have them."

"We don't… at least we didn't. Two recently." She shrugged.

He seemed to struggle to find something to say, instead he kissed her forehead. "Well, perhaps the newly-wed period is wearing off. But it doesn't mean my feelings have changed," he lifted her chin with his finger. "Dear god Clarisse each day I love you more."

She smiled, fighting back the lump in her throat. She wanted to ask him why he had been so cold towards her recently, why the distance between them, why he backed away from intimacy. Instead she simply tilted her head and nodded.

"I should take a shower. Have breakfast with me?" She whispered.

"Of course, but can we do that first, I have an… well I have to go out before 11."

"Oh?"

"It's nothing." He said dismissively.

She raised an eyebrow. "A nothing you can't, or won't, go into detail about."

"Clarisse…" He bit back his ire and side stepped the issue. "We made the front cover of all the major newspapers, I think it was your dress that swung it."

"Were they complementary?"

"Mostly, a few jibes about how well her Majesty is looking."

"Hmm, if only they knew." She stepped past him and allowed the door to swing shut in his face. She was no longer in the mood for polite chitchat.

Standing beneath the spray of hot water her mind closed down and she relaxed, shutting out her personal thoughts and feelings, how many times had she done that before? Funnily enough it had taken Joseph so many years to break that barrier, to get her to admit that she needed him, to get her to share her most private emotions with him. Ironic now that it was he who had turned away from her.

"Clarisse," he was knocking on the door. "Honey, can I come in?"

"Yes, of course." She wiped her eyes, pushed her wet hair back from her face.

She listened as he moved about the room, his bare feet sticking to the tiled floor.

"Clarisse, last night you said things that I think we should discuss."

"Oh? I don't remember."

"Well, it wasn't what you said. It was the way you acted."

She stiffened immediately; she didn't want to do this.

"Over Rupert."

"Joseph…"

"No, we need to discuss this."

"No we don't." She abruptly switched off the shower and reaching for a towel quickly covered herself and stepped out. "I don't want to."

"Darling…" His gaze softened as he reached out for her.

"Don't do that, I don't want to, it's personal."

"And you can't share it with me?"

"That's right, just like you don't seem to be able to share with me?"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"You know exactly…" She resisted the urge to argue with him again. "I don't wish to talk about it now Joseph, I'm tired, I just want us to sit and have breakfast without this gloom hanging over us. Please, respect that. I'm not ready to share it just yet."

He hesitated momentarily then nodded his head. "Of course, I'll see about breakfast." He lifted her hand and kissed it before leaving her alone to dress.

It seemed as if the gloomy mood that had invaded their relationship settled over the entire palace. Though it was business as usual, and apart from her occasional slips the young Queen was thriving, serenity was gone. As if the palace and its staff was in tune with their former monarch's mood swings.

Gone was the continuous smile on her face, gone the noticeable sway in her movements, gone the fashionable and slightly daring outfits. Make no mistake, Clarisse Renaldi Romerro still dressed with the best of them, but to the close observer it became easily visible that her clothing had become even more conservative and hiding than during her mourning period.

Nationwide, it was attributed to the headlines, the red dress had made, but the palace knew better.

Their former queen was bothered by something. Nobody knew what about, but everybody noticed it. Everybody, except one. Concerned glances were exchanged between the maids, the clerical staff, the culinary people, even the security contingent.

Discreet inquiries led to no result. From their stances, it was obvious that the couple had some serious problems. Where they caught cuddling and kissing all the time merely two months ago, they now rarely touched. Where they had been talking quietly, they now barely spoke to each other. But worst of all, they didn't even look at each other anymore.

Actually, it was noticed with utter shock that Sir Joseph was making it a point to not look at his wife, not even when talking her. Now it was Queen Clarisse who carefully watched him very often. The reversal in their roles would have been funny at any other time, now it bothered all the eyes set upon them.

Nobody could fathom the reason behind this horrible situation. There had been no arguments, that much was known. No big fights, no scenes. They just drifted away from each other rapidly.

Queen Clarisse was suffering under the situation; everybody could see it in her eyes that had lost their usual sparkle and in her quiet demeanour. It seemed as if she wanted to slink into the shadows very often. Sir Joseph, however, didn't even seem to notice it. He was pale as well, seemed tired and somewhat listless, but most of all he was withdrawn and absentminded. For him not to react to his wife's behaviour was a certain sign for alarm. Something was seriously wrong.

And behind the visible hallways of the palace, in the offices, maid's rooms, the kitchens and the staff quarters a wave was building up.


	6. part 6

**Part 6** by _Posh_ and _Stoneygem_

Charlotte, of course was one of the first to notice the change. Entering her majesty's office, she almost walked back out again at the sight of the forlorn woman sitting at the desk. And she was – Charlotte gasped mentally – she was wearing black again. Clarisse looked up and greeted the aide with a half smile that didn't remotely reach her eyes.

"Uhm, your Majesty, are you feeling unwell?" Charlotte carefully enquired.

The other woman only raised her head, nodded shortly and bent down again to pour over yet another trade agreement.

Charlotte had given almost everything for the chance to enquire further, but at this moment the phone rang. The call came from Genovia's liaison in Brussels and from experience the younger woman knew that this particular conversation could take up hours and leave their former queen in a rather foul mood on the best of days. Today, however, there was no telling where it could lead.

Quickly bowing out, Charlotte went to order some tea for her Majesty and then off to find Shades. By an unspoken agreement the two of them working closest with the couple had become confidantes.

"Black, Shades. She was wearing black! She has not worn a single piece of black since that day in San Francisco."

The Head of Security frowned. His former boss was not easy to get along with these days either. Most of the time, he was distracted, but if somebody tipped him, he went off like a demon. And then there were those frequent trips into town. He didn't tell anybody where he was going and nobody had found out yet. Unless, one counted the fact that Joseph had been seen with a young woman in her early 30s yesterday. They had just met and talked for a few minutes on the street and it looked quite business-like, but still…

For Joseph not to react to the fact that his wife was no longer smiling. That was such an unfathomable concept, Shades couldn't believe it. Underneath, his gruff exterior he cared very much for the couple. Loved and admired his former queen and almost hero-worshipped his former superior.

To see, how they had gone from their former supreme happiness that could not be shadowed by anything to this.

Charlotte's voice broke him out of his reverie. "Do you know where he is? I haven't seen him all morning."

Shades shrugged. "He has not left the grounds today. And nobody has seen him leaving the palace itself. It is pouring out there after all."

The woman nodded. "Very well, I'll go find him."

"What for?"

"I've had enough of this. I'm going to confront him."

"Charlotte, do you think…Charlotte!" But she was gone already.

Wandering quickly through the vast system of halls, Charlotte contemplated where she could actually find Joseph. The man knew the palace like the back of his hand. If there was a place to hide in, he would know about it. Rounding a corner, she caught a glimpse of something black and from the size of it, a human. Walking quickly to the spot, she frowned when she saw the rounded staircase that led towards the secret room beside the parliament's chamber.

Her curiosity piqued, she followed the steps and after a few moments found herself at the open door of the hidden orthodox chapel. What shocked her however, was the man who stood in front of the altar, deep in prayer.

* * *

Sometimes she loathed this job. Even more so she sometimes loathed the people she had to deal with in the course of the job. Their liaison in Brussels certainly was on top of that list. That man aggravated her to no end. He was supposed to support Genovia's affairs at the Union, but sometimes she had the distinct feeling he worked against them. 

Well, next time she talked to Mia, she would ask her to see into it when she made station in Brussels. Being addressed during the Queen's official visit would hopefully put the man in his place.

Clarisse sighed. She missed her granddaughter. With her the last cheerfulness seemed to be gone from the palace. Now everything was only gloomy and depressed. Just like her. Stepping up to the window again and staring out into the rain, she reflected that here it had begun. Here she had realized that their sex life had come to a complete stop. Here she had decided to put on a fight for it.

Funny, she would have never thought that this would be the beginning of the end. Back then – Gods, had it been merely two weeks ago? – she had only been worried about the physical intimacy. Now she had to realize that any intimacy was gone. They barely spoke, they never touched – at least not awake. The only times, when they still seemed to have a connection was at night. When the lights were out, they would move into each other's arms and sleep in a tender embrace. No words spoken, none needed. Then she knew that he still loved her. Then she could hope that they could make it. But when morning came…

Wiping her eyes furiously, Clarisse heaved a deep sigh. It wouldn't do to cry. The staff already suspected something. They already looked at her as if they had lost hope, as if she had given up. But they were wrong. Clarisse Renaldi never gave up. And Clarisse Renaldi Romerro would certainly not give up on her marriage. Not on this gift life had given her.

She would never give Joseph up.

Ever.

Love worked in mysterious ways, the archbishop had told her during the wedding reception. Mysterious, but sometimes very obvious, at least to the onlookers, he had added with a smile.

She remembered that she and Joseph had both blushed and smiled and then, when she had looked into his eyes, the feeling of utter completeness and love had brought tears to her eyes. She could still feel his thumbs wiping them away so tenderly and his lips only grazing hers. Yet, it had been the most powerful moment of love.

Closing her eyes, Clarisse felt herself smile for the first time in days.

It was a good thing the rain was so heavy today. Joseph had not been able to go out. She just had to find him, take him into her arms, tell him that she loved him and that everything would be all right. Then she would take him by the hand and lead him to a private room where they could be really alone and then they would talk. She would tell him about things, she tended to hide and she would ask him to tell her, what was bothering him. But most of all, she would tell him that she loved him and nobody was more important than him.

Nodding encouragingly to herself, Clarisse turned on her heel and went in search of her husband.

* * *

Clarisse had paced the palace for the past forty-five minutes, of all places she never expected to find herself at the Chapel. Hardly anybody visited it in the day, certainly not during the week. Yet as she passed the slightly ajar door she heard voices, hushed voices, but unmistakeable nevertheless. 

Sneaking inside the door and sheltering behind a column she watched as Charlotte suddenly reached over and took hold of Joseph's hand, squeezing it. Clarisse stiffened, a chill creeping over her, she wasn't one for eavesdropping but right now her feet didn't seem to want to move, her legs had turned to jelly, she was rooted to the spot.

"This can't go on Joe, you know that."

"It won't be for much longer."

"But you can't leave her hanging… haven't you noticed, don't you see what's happening to her? She's wearing black for goodness sake."

He raised his head sharply, aware of the severity of the younger woman's words but not completely willing to actually process what it meant.

He sighed and shook his head. "A few more days or weeks, it will be over."

Clarisse clasped a hand over her mouth, 'over, it would be over?'

"This woman you've been spotted with…" Charlotte said.

"Anna."

"Do you think it wise to go on seeing her?"

"I have no choice, I have a duty… a responsibility to see this through."

"And what about your responsibility to your marriage, the vows were in sickness and health, not when you can be bothered."

"That's hardly fair Charlotte, you know how much I… trust me it's hurting me too, but I have no choice. I need to see this through. I don't wish to hurt her."

"I think you already have."

"It would hurt more if she knew the truth… this is for the best."

"I really think you should rethink your decision"

* * *

Unable to listen to anymore Clarisse shakily snuck back out of the Chapel, she clutched her stomach at the door and leant against the wall. Thank god the corridors were empty. Holding onto the wall for support she made her way back towards her suite. 

She needed to get to her room, she needed… oh lord, he was having an affair, so soon, after all he'd said, he was… he'd promised so much, given so much, he loved her, and he could, all the things he'd said to her… all the things he'd whispered in the stillness of the room. His face inches from hers, his mouth on her skin…

She felt a wave of nausea wash over her, the ground gave way beneath her feet and blackness engulfed her mind.

* * *

Joseph leant over the bed and rested a hand to his wife's forehead. She'd been asleep for the past three hours after Olivia found her collapsed in the corridor just metres from her suite. 

"She will be fine Joseph, let her rest."

He glanced back over his shoulder at the young woman packing her bag.

"It's my fault."

"She's overworked, tired, let her rest, force her to rest. I seem to be handing out similar advice to her husband."

Smiling he stepped forward he pressed a light kiss to the woman's forehead.

"I know, I am trying. Things aren't easy."

"Make them easy, it's only a few days now, you can get through this."

"Thank you Anna, for everything."

"You know you're welcome." She squeezed his hand and collected her things leaving the couple alone in the darkened room.

Moving to sit on the bed next to Clarisse Joseph swung his legs up and took her hand, smoothing her skin, feeling the wedding band beneath his grasp.

She stirred next to him, groaning and turning, her head encountering his chest. For a second she remained there, instinctively he reached an arm around her and stroked her back.

"Clarisse…" He whispered. "Are you awake?"

She groaned again, stretching an arm across his stomach and then suddenly pulling herself back and forcing her eyes open she coldly looked him over.

"How are you feeling?"

"Light-headed," her voice cracked. "What happened?"

"You fainted I believe, Doctor thinks exhaustion, overwork, and prescribes rest."

"My Doctor? Richard's on holiday."

"I know, not your Doctor, a friend of mine. Highly recommended."

She placed her hands on the bed and attempted to lift herself up.

"Hey stay there, no getting up for the rest of the day, I will wait on you."

"You have no important engagements?" She closed her eyes and rested her head back down on the pillow, dizziness sweeping over her at the sudden movement.

"None more important than my wife." He stroked her hair and gazed at her, how pale she looked, how fragile. Perhaps Charlotte was correct; perhaps he was going about this the wrong way – dragging out the inevitable.

"Do you need anything?"

"Not now." She may not have remembered falling, she certainly remembered his confession to Charlotte, right now it was only the constant feeling of falling and dizziness that prevented her from telling him what she really thought.

"Not thirsty at all?"

He was still touching her, she moved to escape it.

"I'm tired, I think I'll just sleep."

"All right, then I'll leave you for a while. I'll just be in the other room so call if you need anything. Anything at all…"

* * *

Clarisse slept well past two, both physical and emotional exhaustion taking over any coherent thoughts she had. When she woke her aching head had cleared and she felt strangely at ease. She rinsed her face in the bathroom, put on her dressing gown and made her way into the lounge in hopes of ordering Tea. 

She didn't expect him to be there; in fact she hadn't even considered the possibility. All her hurt and embarrassment from earlier in the day flooded back and she hesitantly approached him.

The fire burned in the hearth and Joseph sat with his legs on the couch engrossed in some book. She watched as he leant over and reached for his Brandy glass taking a sip then replacing it on the table. Momentarily glancing up he saw her and smiled warmly.

"You're awake. How are you feeling?"

Her response should have been _'like somebody has ripped my heart out'. _Instead she moved to the vacant chair murmuring, "Better."

He snapped his book shut and placed it on the armrest giving her his full attention. "You look much better, not so pale."

She glared at him through half open eyes. "So, when, and how, are you planning on doing it?"

"Doing what my dear?"

"Leaving me." She stated coldly.

* * *

_Ha! Ha! The plot thickens..._


	7. part 7

**Mixed Signals**

Part7 by _Posh _and _Stoneygem_

The silence seemed to stretch on for a lifetime, he held her gaze, so cold and empty. Tension forming in the room, the fire crackled offering a glimpse into reality.

"Excuse me." He finally said.

"Or are you planning on staying and simply having affairs right beneath my nose."

"Clarisse, I'm completely confused."

"I heard you with Charlotte, so you don't have to pretend anymore Joseph." She shrugged, somewhat resigned to the inevitably of events. "Extra marital affairs are all but expected in royal circles. I just never expected it from you."

"That's because I never would." He stood up facing her. "Do you really think after all these years, all the heartache and waiting, that finally I'm with you and I would simply throw it all away?"

She looked away, saying gently. "Perhaps I was a disappointment." She swallowed. "Perhaps the reality didn't quite live up to the dream."

He knelt in front of her taking her hands. "Clarisse stop this, please, I love you, you're my wife, you're in my heart – my soul."

She gasped. "Why are you doing this to me? Humiliating…"

"No, no! I would never, I adore you – you know that." He kissed her hands. "This is the happiest I've ever been. You must realise that."

"Happy? You snub me Joseph, you've turned away from me."

He stopped, his hands freezing on hers. "I don't mean to…"

"I suppose I half expected it, I've never considered desirability as one of my traits."

"But you are, you're the most beautiful…"

She pulled her hands from his. "Please, I don't need you to say that."

"It isn't lies, I think you're the most attractive woman I've ever met desirable doesn't even come close. You're incredibly sexy Clarisse – no need for silk and lace." He allowed himself a little smile. "Though I appreciate it."

"What does sex matter anyhow, the bottom line is you don't want me anymore full stop."

"Ohh more than I can say."

"Then why won't you touch me, why won't you even look at me?"

He dipped his head, his forehead resting on her knees. "Oh Clarisse…"

He looked so lost, so broken. Swallowing her anger as a wave of pure affection flowed through her she tentatively reached out and touched his head. When her fingers stroked his neck he lifted his face to hers, eyes closed he sought her mouth and she gratefully accepted his kiss. Such a sweet and honest caress. She parted her knees and he sank towards her, his arms resting on her waist, her hands gripping his shoulders. The kiss was instantly heated, Clarisse's hurt and longing driving her on, Joseph's guilt and want driving him.

She moaned into his mouth, meeting his tongue with hers. Her nails dug into his shoulders and she pressed her body against his. She felt him respond. Felt his hands lovingly stroking her sides.

"Oh god Clarisse…" He groaned pulling away, breathing deeply, stilling against her. "Oh god, oh god…" He tore himself away from her, standing up and moving to the fire.

"Joseph, please don't stop this now…" She stood up moving behind him. "Don't pull away from me, not again."

"I can't do this."

"Why not? Talk to me, explain this to me. If not an affair then what were you discussing so secretly with Charlotte? If you love me, desire me, then why won't you touch me, hold me Joseph…" She rested her hand on his back, feeling his warmth through the shirt. "Hold me."

He twisted away from her, trying to hide his face but she saw the tears as they tumbled down his face. He wiped at them, angrily.

"Joseph…"

"No, leave me."

"Please, talk to me, share it with me."

"No!" he shouted. "No, stop this, don't push me." He stormed towards the door.

"Joseph, if you leave now don't even think about coming back to our bed tonight."

His hand stilled on the doorknob and for a moment she thought she'd stopped him. She stepped towards him, waiting for him to turn and reach for her.

Only he didn't.

"I'm sorry." He said without turning back.

She watched as he closed the door, stamped her foot like a child and cursed in frustration, something she never did.

"Damn it Joseph… damn men, damn you."

She swung back and marched towards the fire catching his abandoned book and knocking it to the floor.

As she leant against the marble hearth she stared at the wedding photo standing so proudly there. It wasn't part of the official photographs; somebody trained and accurate didn't take it. It was Andrew playing about with that silly camera, and he caught them quite by chance. Standing out in the garden, the afternoon sunlight catching in her hair bringing out elements of gold dust, she almost looked as if she were sparkling. But it was the look on both of their faces, beneath a tree, laughing – laughing together, eyes locked, hands held. It wasn't technically accurate, but it was so perfect.

She remembered the way he looked that day, the way his smile didn't disappear for one second, the way he shook with fear as they walked down the aisle. The way he stumbled over his words and fumbled as he slid on the ring, the way he hardly dare move and she had to lean across and kiss him at the Archbishop's bidding. What had gone so wrong that they seemed to have lost that? What was going on inside his mind? It confused her so, he claimed to love her unconditionally and yet he pushed her away, he kissed her like that with such passion and fervour and yet walked away when she asked for his touch.

Something wasn't right, something was missing, that kind intimate gentle man she loved so was slipping away from her. And she had no idea how to get him back.

Running a hand through her hair she sighed feeling the exhaustion set back in, perhaps it was best to forget the Tea and simply go to bed. As she moved she noticed the slip of paper abandoned on the floor and bent to pick it up. She unfolded it recognising his handwriting immediately, her husband's.

_Roseman's Square, Flat Number 4. 10:30 a.m. Thursday._

* * *

That address, it was hers. The other woman's.

When he had left, she had been numb at first; almost dropping to the floor in pure exhaustion, but this slip of paper with his handwriting on it had not let her mind rest. Finally in a bout of mindless activity, she had picked up the paper and went into her wardrobe, dressed herself in plain clothes, ordered a car and driven to this address.

In retrospect, the whole action seemed so ridiculous. She, a queen, dressed in simple jeans, sweater and the baseball cap Mia had given her, driving into town to visit the place, where she suspected her husband met his lover. Yet, that was what she had done. The visit had given her what she wanted, but she couldn't see it as a successful excursion. The name on the doorbell said Anna De Marcos, Clarisse had taken a position in the shadow and waited. Her patience had been rewarded mere twenty minutes later, when the doorman had greeted a young woman with Ms. De Marcos.

Squeezing her eyes shut, Clarisse desperately tried to get rid of the image of her rival. Compared to her, she must be losing the battle. Tall, slim yet curvaceous, shining black hair, beautiful, obviously a warm and lively person - and barely 30. How could an aging, pale and cold woman compare to that?

Once again, Clarisse squeezed her eyes shut, now trying to keep the tears from spilling. After seeing the younger woman passing by she had retreated through the backdoor and driven back to the palace. Here she had gone directly to her suite, locked all doors and started the shower. She had stepped under the stream and allowed herself to scream, when she felt her heart breaking for good.

It was over. All the happiness, all the love, all the… everything. He said, their marriage was all he ever wanted; yet he had turned away from her. He said, he was happy with her, yet he had not trusted her enough to admit that he was missing something. He said he loved her, yet he had taken another - younger - woman to fulfil the wants she could apparently not meet. It was over.

And she had lost.

She could not fight and win against this woman. And she didn't even have the energy for it anymore. She would need all her strength to face the public after the fact became known, because she would stand alone facing the gloating, the laughter. He would not be there when she would be ridiculed for her stupidity. He wouldn't be there…

Biting her lip, Clarisse finally turned away from the window. She had been standing there for hours it seemed. And she still had to prepare to face the people today. Of course, they would suspect something, she wasn't that naive, but she had to try at least to cover up the sleepless night and the tears. Two hours later, she had finally managed to cover the most obvious traces. With a sordid smile she realized that it was yet another sign of age, two hours to prepare her face. What man could be interested in that?

Stepping into her closet, she carefully assessed her wardrobe. No black today, she still had Charlotte's comment in her ear. If she wore black again, she could just as well announce to the whole staff that she was a loser in terms of marriage. 34 years of a loveless marriage that had seen more than one bad day - due to her inability to be a passionate lover and general lack of personal cooperativeness as Rupert had often complained when he…

And now she managed to lose her second husband after only nine months - again due to her inabilities as a woman. She snorted slightly. It didn't matter. They would never know of it. From now on, she would once again play her part. She was the Dowager Queen now, advisor and guidance to her successor. Loved and admired by her people. This had been her life before; it would be her life again.

Strengthening her resolve and squaring her shoulders, Clarisse left her suite. Time to face the music.


	8. part 8

Mixed Signals by _Posh_ & _Stoneygem_

Part 8

When she drew near her office, she almost wished she had stayed locked up in her suite. She had known it would be hard, but she hadn't expected the pitiful glances to sting so much.

Rounding the corner to the hallway that led to her office, she stopped dead in her tracks. The voices were easily recognisable as those of Mrs. Kowt and Priscilla.

"Yes, in the chapel. The whole night. Though Martin said that he had seen him entering their suite, but he left again after a few minutes and then he went straight to the chapel."

"But what could he do in the chapel the whole night?"

Mrs. Kowt snorted. "Honestly, Priscilla, what does one do in a chapel?"

"Did he pray that her majesty would let him into their bedroom again? If I were her, I wouldn't."

"Priscilla! I think, there is a lot more to their problem than meets the eye. Have you noticed that he has lost weight and how pale he is?"

"So what? It's the least that can happen to him for doing that to her."

"Priscilla!" Mrs. Kowt exclaimed. "This is highly unfair. You don't know what happened. Nobody knows it. And we have no right… I mean, maybe he has a serious problem."

"Who has a serious problem?" A third voice joined in. Clarisse shrunk even more back against the wall at hearing Charlotte's voice.

"Well, her majesty and Sir Joseph of course. Well, actually Sir Joseph will have a serious problem when people get a hold of him after the news is out. But Mrs. Kowt here thinks there is more." The lady's maid said.

"And what would that be, Mrs. Kowt?" Charlotte asked with a clear tone of disapproval.

"I'm only saying that he didn't look well. So pale and withdrawn. And he has lost weight. Maybe, he is ill or something." The housekeeper's voice became thinner and thinner. "I know it sounds ridiculous, but I just can't believe that he would throw their marriage away so callously. I mean, he practically worshipped the ground she walks on."

The listener in the shadows couldn't take anymore of this. Clarisse, blindly turned and ran away from the corner, the vase she knocked over in her haste not even registering in her mind.

* * *

Clarisse persuaded the driver to wait around the corner; he must have suspected something from the word go as she'd asked for an unmarked car and arrived wearing a long black overcoat and dark sunglasses. As she sat in the back of the car she found herself unbearably nervous, shaking almost violently and constantly fiddling with the leather gloves in her lap. In a matter of minutes the car reached her destination and she'd given instructions for where David should park the vehicle and wait.

Stepping out onto the frosty pavement it struck her that perhaps her shoes weren't the most sensible footwear considering the weather, a light covering of snow had fallen the night before and was now icing up quite nicely. She slid her gloves on, tightened her scarf against the wind and pushed on the flat door. Locked. The thought hadn't occurred to her that it could be locked, that she couldn't gain entrance. She tapped her foot impatiently and glanced at her watch, 10:40 a.m. Looking up at the apartment window the thought struck her that Joseph would already be there, perhaps they were already… oh god! Did she really think she could do this? Catch him out, catch him in the act? The thought disgusted her, making love to another woman, no, not love it couldn't possibly be, she couldn't accept that; lust, desire, foolish manly pride but not love.

She started as the door in front of her opened. Looking up she caught an old man's eye, he must have been 85 at least and struggling with the door. She reached forward and held it for him, he tipped his hat.

"Thank you dear lady, oh this weather hey, should be spring, should be spring."

"Careful on the ice." She whispered eyeing his walking stick.

"Aye, I'll be fine. Good day."

She watched him hobble away and realised she was still holding the door ajar; taking a deep breath she stepped inside.

* * *

There were plaques on the wall, mostly Doctors in the building. Ms. A. De Marcos, third floor. Removing her glasses she dropped them into her bag and steadily mounted the stairs. Pushing open the door she stepped inside and found herself in a waiting room, an empty waiting room. The desk obviously reserved for a secretary was even vacant; they'd quite plainly planned this well.

There was no turning back now; she might as well face the truth. Drawing on every last fragment of strength she crossed the room placing her hand on the gold doorknob and slowly, quietly, twisting it and opening the door.

Joseph was standing in the centre of the room, his arms tightly wound around the younger woman's back. Clarisse swallowed and opened her mouth to speak.

"You…"

"Clarisse, how?" He let go of the woman and turned to her, his face was red, almost flushed, yet his eyes shone.

"How could you?" She said not daring to look at the woman. "How?"

"Clarisse, this isn't what you think."

"Oh the oldest line…" She said the words quite calmly then the rage took over and she lost her grip on her sensibilities. "I asked you, I asked you plainly if you were sleeping with somebody else, you convinced me I was being melodramatic."

"That's because I'm not, I am not."

"You're here with her!" She pointed towards Anna for the first time acknowledging her presence.

"No darling listen…" he stepped towards her reaching for her arm.

"Don't you dare touch me. I can't believe you would do this to me… I hoped that it wasn't true, even following you here I hoped…"

"Following me? You've been spying on me?"

"You lied to me, after everything we've been through, you can stand and lie to me, do this, sneaking up here for cheap sordid sex with her!"

"You're wrong your majesty." The woman said, her accent was foreign, heavily Spanish; she can't have been away from home very long.

"Anna let me deal with this, Clarisse you have no right to speak to her in that way."

Joseph was right in front of her now, so close he could reach out and take her hand.

"I have every right, every right, she's nothing but a whore!"

"Clarisse!"

"And you're a liar, a fake… you who I trusted so… I…"

"Clarisse." He grabbed her arm but she pushed him off violently, swinging round and catching his arm with her handbag. He gripped her tighter and she slapped his face, hard, brutal.

Instinctively he slunk backwards, silently staring at her. Her hand stung despite the presence of her leather gloves, already there was a mark forming on his face. Shaking away the feeling of guilt she regained her voice.

"I could have coped Joseph, if you'd told me, admitted to it, I would have wept but I could have coped. If you'd left me my dignity. But no, not only do you rip my heart out but you do it in a way that I can't recover from. The country witnesses their Queen unexpectedly marry her security guard, questioning your motives, if it will last and a few months later you start an affair and _I_ have to pick up the pieces. _I_ am the one who's left broken, looking foolish."

"If you believe that then you are foolish. If you believe I would deliberately set out to break you then you are foolish."

"Oh go to hell!" She stormed out of the room, slamming the door after her.

Joseph turned to Anna staring at her blankly. "Well for god's sake go after her then."

Biting back his anger at her accusations he followed.

"Clarisse…" she was leaning on the desk in the other room, her breath coming in short sharp gasps, furious hot tears pouring over her face.

"Clarisse." He rested a hand gently on her shoulder.

"I told you not to touch me."

"We have to talk."

"I don't even want to be in the same room as you. I don't wish to talk to you, or be near you…" She moved to the door but he reached over her head and held it shut.

"Clarisse stop this, calm down and listen to me."

"Give me a reason." She didn't look at him; she held her breath feeling his body behind her. "Let me leave."

They both froze as voices passed on the stairwell; this wasn't the place for an argument, for such an outburst and outpouring of emotions.

"Neither of us want a scene here, let me accompany you back to the palace, we need to talk about this."

"I have nothing to say, make your own way back." She snapped at him, finally levering his arm from the door and leaving.

* * *

She replaced her glasses to cover her red puffy eyes and returned to the car, not sparing a second to turn and see if he were behind her. Somehow she managed to hold her nerve on the return drive to the palace, she even managed to stumble to her suite avoiding personnel. It wasn't until she passed through the doors to her room that she sank to the floor. She dragged herself to the couch and yanked the scarf from her neck. It wasn't the most dignified of poses, slumped on the couch with tears streaming down her face, still wearing her coat, the melting ice dripping from her shoes. There was a knock at the door and she daren't even turn to greet whoever it was.

Charlotte cautiously entered the room and stood behind the couch.

"You're majesty, I've arranged for lunch at 1:00, will that suffice?"

"No, cancel it." She whispered choking on the words. "Cancel everything for today."

"Ma'am?"

"Please Charlotte. I just need a moment to gather my thoughts, a moment."

"Of course your majesty."

She waited for the sound of the door to click before she allowed the strangled breath to escape, furiously wiping at her face, angry at herself for crying, angry at herself for reacting so weakly.

She wasn't aware of him standing behind her, having silently entered the room as Charlotte left.

"Clarisse?" He said gently.

Startled she jumped up, eyes blazing. "How dare you face me? I want you to leave."

"This is my home, our home."

"Not anymore, in fact, you can move out now."

She marched through the lounge into her private closet, opening the drawers designated for Joseph's clothes. She was yelling as she pulled out shirts and threw them at him.

"Take your things and find somewhere else to sleep, I'm sure she'll accommodate you."

He caught a few garments as they flew at his face. "This is ridiculous, Clarisse, you're being irrational."

"Irrational?"

"Yes irrational!"

It was the first time she noticed how angry Joseph actually was.

"You've jumped to this conclusion, you won't listen to me, suddenly I'm some untrustworthy, cold heartless bastard of a man."

"Yes you are. Not suddenly, this has been going on far too long, I won't take it anymore. I won't allow you to treat me this way, I had almost forty years of a loveless marriage not this time Joseph."

"How many times do I have to say this, I love you for gods sake."

"Yet you feel free to screw somebody else."

"I'm not _screwing_ anyone."

"Certainly not me, least of all me, you haven't touched me in months, you won't come near me."

"There are reasons…"

"To hell with your reasons."

He dropped the clothes to the floor and pursued as she ran through to their bedroom.

"Will you stop and listen to me."

She was pulling the drawers of the bedside cabinet open, "Here take this too."

She swung round throwing a pyjama top at him, the one that was her favourite of his to wear, the one she'd stolen from him during their first week of married life.

"Oh Clarisse will you bloody well calm down, stop this!"

"This is me being irrational…" She claimed as she stormed past him. "This is me showing some emotion, isn't that what you want. For me to feel something, anything… whether it be love or hate." She shouted at him and he remained in the bedroom a second taking in the sight of their possessions strewn across the room.

Finally he followed her into the lounge again, she stood by the fire.

"Well congratulations you can tell her that the Queen felt something, rather a lot actually, and well done not only did you manage to crawl into her bed but you also got her to wed you – think of the retirement funds!" She lifted the photograph from the mantelpiece and held it up.

"Clarisse no… not that one. There's only one."

"What does it matter now."

"You know it matters, you don't mean these things, you're angry, upset."

"Damn right I'm angry." She sniffled fighting to hold on to her anger. "You've broken my heart Joseph."

"Oh my love stop please, I wouldn't, I couldn't…"

She was crying unabashedly, deep heavy sobs that tore from her throat leaving her breathless and drained. He moved in front of her, took hold of her wrists and wrestled the picture from her hands safely replacing it above the fire.

"Come to me, let me hold you." He said trying to wrap his arms around her.

"No, no… I don't want you, I can't…my husband is having an affair, what do I do about that hmm? What do I do when I have no best friend to talk to about it, who do I turn to, because you're my best friend. I'm so stupid, I'm so damned stupid because you're the closest friend I ever had and you're breaking my heart and I have nowhere to turn."

"You turn to me, I would never handle your heart so cruelly. I treasure it above all things."

He gripped her shoulders bringing her body into close contact with his, but she resisted attempting to pull away. His hands slid down to her elbows encouraging her head to his chest but still she fought back, she was no longer shouting, her voice wouldn't function above the sobs. It struck Joseph that she was almost hysterical; he'd only once seen her react like this and he never thought he'd witness it again. Her hands formed fists and she attacked his chest fighting him off.

"Sshh, please Clarisse, calm down… come to me." He caught her wrists preventing her from hurting either him or herself. "Let me help."

"I can't, I hate you – I hate you, I hate you…"

He pulled her to him, her head falling against his chest, her body convulsing against his, fighting against her need to cling to him for comfort yet needing to force him from her.

In time she relaxed, seemed to shrink against him and dissolve. Her tears fell for well over an hour, until finally with an aching heavy head she slipped into unconsciousness.

Joseph carried her to the bedroom and laid her down, removing her shoes and clothes and allowing her to sleep. He tidied away the items of clothing she had thrown about the room, replaced his shirts in the closet and, checking she still slept, took a shower. It was only then that he allowed his own tears to fall, an odd mix of guilt for hurting her so very much, pain at the words she had spoken to him, at the fact she didn't really trust him – perhaps she never had. But beneath that there was relief, finally all the worry was over, he was in the clear.

* * *

The images whirling around in her head were absolutely frightening. All those grotesque faces and voices, laughing at her, pointing at her, gloating at her. And he wasn't there. She had felt herself twisting and turning, trying to see him among the crowd that was closing in on her. The noise had become louder and more and more shrill. It scared her and she was thrashing around, muttering unintelligible things in between desperate cries for him.

"Joseph! Joseph, where are you? Help me, please."

Warm and strong hands pulled her closer to a human source of warmth, pulling her into arms that provided security. Warm and strong hands drew gentle circles on her back soothing and assuring. And finally, the grotesque images disappeared from her mind and she relaxed into a deep and restful sleep.

* * *


	9. part 9

**Mixed Signals**

Part 9 by _Posh_ and _Stoneygem_

_This chapter contains adult content and has been 'cut' for this site. If you would like too read the un-cut version please email me & I will send it to you. Thanks xx Rhonda (Posh)_

* * *

Clarisse sat up in bed abruptly, glancing to her left she noted that Joseph's side of the bed was crumpled, he'd slept with her, she didn't remember it. Running her hand through her hair she fought to recall what had happened the previous evening, nothing made sense, and her head ached so much. 

"Good morning."

She glanced over to the door where Joseph stood; he was smartly dressed in a dark blue suit.

"I was just about to wake you, I ordered Tea and a little breakfast for you, we have to leave in under two hours."

She shook her head. "Leave for what?"

"European Agriculture Union, the Winter Palace, why do you think I'm dressed like this?"

She shrugged. "Perhaps you wanted to make an impression…"

He stepped closer to he bed. "I don't wish to argue with you this morning."

She allowed herself to glance up at him, the mark where she had hit him was still visible, she closed her eyes again.

"Please." He said gently resting his hand on her forehead. "We can't avoid this, too many dignitaries, too many eagle eyes… we are the host nation."

"I'm well aware of that." Her eyes snapped open and she finally sat up pushing his hand away. "I'm not hungry so you can cancel breakfast and I'd appreciate a little privacy whilst I shower and dress."

"Of course your majesty." He bowed extravagantly before exiting the bedroom and closing the doors.

Clarisse stared after him, or better stared at the closed door for quite some time. Her mind was still numb and she felt a headache forming instantly just behind her temples. Too much crying did that to her.

Then his words registered fully. The Agriculture Union. Host country. The Winter palace. And Mia on her official tour of the Benelux-countries. She had to do the honours. And she had less then two hours to make herself presentable enough to hide the fact that she had had a - oh goodness - a bout of hysteria the night before. And she would have to act as if nothing was wrong, as if their marriage was absolutely perfect.

He would be there!

She squeezed her eyes shut and bowed her head as the enormity of the situation hit. She would have to put on the show of her life today. With a weary sigh, Clarisse dragged herself out of bed. If she had to put on an award-winning performance, she better make sure that she looked perfect for it.

The shower was the easy part, even though she had to turn on the cold water to chase the numbness away. Her hair was easily done. The make-up turned out to be some work, but nothing compared to choosing the appropriate outfit. Years of experience had taught Clarisse just how much people judged the situation for the clothes she wore, from the colours she wore. Recalling the black disaster a few days ago, she quickly decided on a lighter colour.

Dressed in a simple pale powder pink dress and a matching jacket she eyed herself in the mirror. With her heels on she stood tall and elegant, the picture of elegance and cool, calm composed, inside she was falling apart. How could she possibly stand next to him all day and remain that picture of calmness, a happy wife, when her heart was breaking?

Dwelling on this for too long helped none and she was torn from her reverie by a light tap on the door.

"Yes?"

Joseph pushed the door opened and smiled gently at her. "You look wonderful."

"Please don't, we have to be civil today, that's all."

"Are we ever going to sit down and talk about this properly? Are you ever going to grant me the courtesy of hearing my side of the story?"

"There is nothing you could say that would change my mind…"

"What?"

She marched past him, he followed wanting to continue the conversation but she had exited the room and was quickly making her way down the corridor. She didn't even take a coat, he rushed back to her closet and chose a long white coat, it would have to do.

She was in the foyer chatting to Charlotte when he approached; she glanced over at him noting the coat over his arm.

"You never told me it had snowed." She said sharply to him.

"Erm it still is your majesty, we could cancel…" Charlotte said hopefully.

"Absolutely not, come on Joseph, we mustn't be late."

He stood behind her holding her coat and helping her into it, how the hell was he supposed to deal with this today? It was the first time he'd ever attended one of these events as her husband… and today of all days she hated him, thought he had lied to her and deceived her. His heart ached; he couldn't escape that feeling of emptiness, of blackness enveloping him. And yet somehow he was still so damned angry with her, that she could suspect such a thing, that she could spy on him and convince herself of his guilt without even talking to him… as if she wanted to believe it. Always so bloody self-righteous.

She snapped her heels on the marble floor and he slowly followed her outside. The wind was the first thing he noticed, icy cold, the snow was still light although the covering on the ground was getting deep. The drive had been cleared though, they should be okay, it was a short drive to the Winter Castle, one they'd made many times before. He nodded to Shades then climbed in the backseat next to her.

For a while they simply sat in silence, she stared directly ahead, he gazed out the window at the landscape of white surrounding them. The snow was getting heavier, showering down upon them.

"What did you mean, nothing I could say would change your mind, change your mind over what?"

"I don't want to discuss this now."

"Well I do, and I'm in this marriage too."

"A fact you seem to conveniently forget when you're entertaining Ms. De Marcos."

"Anna is a friend."

"Oh I'm sure she is…" she removed her gloves and folded them in her lap. "And just what does your 'friend' actually do for you?" She allowed herself a cold glance at his face. "Hmm, what is it that I got so wrong, please inform me."

"This is ridiculous."

"Is it? I'm not so sure, I mean perhaps if you'd told me exactly what you wanted I could have performed it. I know I'm not as young and agile as she is but…"

"Clarisse!" He raised his voice. "I'm sick to death of this, it stops now!"

She twisted to face him. "You wanted to discuss this. Or is it too embarrassing, do you not wish to discuss our sorry sex life."

"I said stop! This isn't you, you don't behave like this."

"How would you know? You've been too busy getting laid elsewhere."

He grabbed her wrist, raising her arm. "I don't care who you are, you don't talk to me like that."

"Let go of my arm…" She pulled in his tight grasp, feeling her skin squeeze in his fingers. "Let go of me… Joseph…" Her voice suddenly altered, taking on a lower, fearful tone.

His grip loosened but he still held her "I would never hurt you."

"You already have."

"Not purposefully, never,"

She yanked her arm from him and moved across the seat putting some distance between them. "Just because I'm a woman doesn't mean I'm weak."

"I never said you were… god Clarisse I can't keep doing this, stop measuring me up against Rupert, I'm not him, all right I'm not him. How can this marriage work if you keep comparing us… waiting for me to attack every time we have an argument."

"We don't have a marriage."

"Yes we do, and I won't let it go."

"You have no choice… and you've treated me far worse than he ever did."

"Oh don't fool yourself, lying back and thinking you're doing it for the country may seem justified in your eyes my dear, to me it's rape."

"How dare you? You have no right!"

"After the things you've said to me I have every right… and I suppose shrinking away from me, like you did last week, like you did just now, isn't a sign of what went on when you argued with him. Don't try and tell me your marriage was fine, no love but fondness, because it's all rubbish."

She reached across and grabbed his jacket, hitting his face. "How dare you, how dare you talk to me like that… you have no idea."

He fought with her, battling to grab her arms and hold her still, he found he was pushing her back on the seat, kneeling on the floor. Finally she stilled, her rage contained, her face was burning, her breathing uneven and forced.

He looked up at her, raised on the seat before him, the long dress she wore had gathered around her thighs and she held onto his hands forcefully, her nails just scratching the skin.

"I want a divorce." She seethed.

"I want you."

"Who do you think will believe that?" She spat. She didn't care, if she hurt him now, she didn't care what she said, what she did, she just wanted to give him something of the pain she was feeling. "Who do…"

She never got any further, for at this moment his mouth was on hers in an almost violent kiss. His lips pressed against hers forcefully, his tongue demanding entrance, while with his hands he still had her wrists in a vicelike grip.

Clarisse struggled against his hands, struggled against the weight of his body covering hers, tried to escape the bruising touch of his mouth. In her open eyes the fury clearly showed, but it was matched in his as well.

She could see the fury in the usually gentle dark depth. Fury and…

Something inside her mind snapped. She still struggled against his hands, she still struggled against the weight of his body, but her lips opened and she drew his tongue in for a fierce and oh so sensual battle.

Suddenly, all she wanted was to crawl inside him, rip his clothes off, scrape her nails over his skin, losing her dress, losing her mind while he moved inside her.

* * *

Oh the world was perfect, he was holding her, his heart was beating against hers and he was inside her and loving her and touching her… after all these months. Her head fell back against the seat and she spread her arms out along the back of it.

Slowly Joseph separated his body from hers and moved to the seat across from her, he watched her half lying there. Her eyes closed, a red flush travelling up from her neck to her face, her body so utterly relaxed, hell he could almost hear the thudding of her heart from where he sat. He quickly tidied and readjusted his clothing.

"I apologise." He said gently.

Her eyes slid open leisurely gazing across at him. Wearily she lifted her head. "Apologise?"

"That wasn't how it should have been, not after all this time." He leant forward to the floor collecting her underwear and grabbing her handbag.

She stared at him blankly, mutely. He rummaged in her bag until he found a pack of tissues and, taking one in his hand, leant forward closer to her body. She never moved as he dabbed her shoulder.

"I'm sorry if I hurt you."

"You didn't."

"You're bleeding." He said indicating her shoulder. "I hurt you."

"No, I wanted it too."

They stared at each other for a second, each taking in the severity of their actions.

"It shouldn't have been that way… you weren't meant for that, it should be about love."

She swallowed, never breaking the eye contact. "Is that why you go to her, is that how you wanted it to be?"

His head dropped and he was silent for a second, then he shook his head desperately. "How many times do we have to do this, huh?"

She turned her head away glancing out the window, condensation had formed on the glass, then she felt his hand touch her shoulder. Grabbing his hand she tore the tissue from him.

"I can clean myself…"

"Fine."

He moved away from her again.

She was grateful that he turned his head as she dressed, she couldn't face his eyes upon her, not now. Opening her handbag she located her compact and dabbed her skin with concealer, placing it along the marks on her neck. Then she brushed her hair and sprayed a little perfume on her skin, it didn't help she still smelt of him, everything smelt of him. Arranging her scarf carefully to conceal the deep red mark at the base of her neck she finally addressed him again.

"Do I look okay, can you see any… thing?"

He glanced up at her, his eyes suddenly looked immensely tired, red and heavy. He rubbed his chin as he stared at her. "You look fine, perfectly…" His shoulders slumped. "God Clarisse I'm so sorry, I'm no better than he was…"

She never had the chance to answer him for the car suddenly jerked forward, she flew across the seat and landed against Joseph's chest, he held her arms as the car swerved on the ice. The entire vehicle seemed to shake and she clung to her husband's arms inches from his face. With a thud they came to a grinding halt and she fell back again, this time with Joseph's body pressed against hers.

"You're alright…" He muttered. He gripped her arms tighter when she didn't answer. "Clarisse, are you alright?"

She nodded, staring at his face, taking in the sheer amount of concern that flitted across it. "Yes, I'm alright."


	10. part 10

Disclaimer: We own nothing & nobody and make no profit from this... hell if we owned it there would be changes made:-)

**Mixed Signals by _Posh_ and ****_Stoneygem  
_  
Part 10**

If he could have avoided this, he would have gladly done so. But as head of palace security, it was his job to guard the highest person in the country. Still, Shades would have preferred to be anywhere but in this car today. The way the couple had come outside - her Majesty running ahead, not turning, not talking and quite obviously in a very foul mood; Sir Joseph hurrying after her, struggling to hold his temper as well – he had known that this would not be a pleasant day.

Of course, the couple would do what was expected of them at this dog and pony show at the Winter Palace, but underneath… Shades cringed at the thought. And on top of it all, winter just wouldn't leave. Less than a week until Easter and snow was falling heavily. The wipers barely managed to keep the windscreen clear and it seemed to become more and more as it was. He glanced over to Dansen, who was gripping the wheel as if his life depended on it. In a way, it did, for the driver would be a dead man, if he managed to injure the dowager queen and her husband.

From the driver, the head of security allowed himself a short glance over his shoulder. The privacy screen was up, of course, but until a few minutes ago raised voices had been clearly audible. They were arguing again, like last night, like this morning. Shades frowned. He couldn't hear any more voices from the font. As a matter of fact it was eerily silent. Were they still arguing – only more quietly? Were they giving each other the silent treatment? Or were they…

The car shook a little, and Shades mentally slapped himself. Yeah, right! If there was one thing unimaginable then it was that the couple would have sex on the backseat. No way! Joe had too much taste to take his wife on the backseat of a car, especially right after an argument. And her Majesty would never do something like this. Would she?

"Bloody hell!"

A plopping sound like a bullet rung through the limousine and at the same moment the heavy car lurched to the side. Dansen hit the brake and grabbed the steering wheel, but it was no use. The car swerved over the snowy road, broke off the lane and skidded over the icy plain. Then there was a punch into the opposite direction and the heavy vehicle stopped – driver and passenger being flung forward. Snow whirled around the black limousine, but other than that, everything was quiet.

"Dammit!" Dansen cursed and hit the wheel with his fist. Beside him Shades slowly tried to move backwards to sit upright in his seat.

"You okay, Dansen?" he finally asked.

"Yeah. Nothing broken or anything. Except for the car. Dammit!"

"Stop swearing, man. Her Majesty doesn't like that." Shades eyes widened as he readjusted his glasses. His hand immediately went to the intercom, but before he could hit the button the familiar voice of his former boss sounded over the speaker.

"Are you both alright? What happened?

"Unknown yet, sir. Are you well, sir?"

A slight pause on the other end made both men frown. "Yes, no worse for wear. Thank you."

"Very well then sir. We will get out and check for damage on the car. We'll let you know, Sir, Madam."

Shades disconnected the intercom and nodded to Dansen. Both men unfastened their seatbelts and stepped out of the car. With a disgusted frown Shades looked down on his feet. The snow was already more than ankle deep. At a clicking sound he shot around, but breathed a sigh when he realized that his boss had gotten out of the car. His eyes widened considerably however when he saw the condition the man's clothing was in. Waist down everything was normal, and he certainly wore his suit jacket and his tie all right, but the shirt… The shirt was open underneath the jacket. And when Joseph stepped closer, Shades realized the shirt had no buttons anymore and not only no buttons but there were marks on his... The younger man swallowed in embarrassment. What was that about backseats and erm…

Joseph's voice shook him out of his musings. "Dansen, have you found the problem yet?"

The young man only muttered something and the other two stepped closer to him to assess the situation.

* * *

Clarisse sat in the backseat staring straight ahead. Twenty minutes since Joseph had left the car to enquire what had happened. Twenty minutes for her to settle her mind and her emotions again. Yet, those twenty minutes had not been enough and she doubted it would be enough to have twenty hours. 

She was shaken. Badly shaken.

Not by the little accident. After all, probably only the car was broken. Nobody had been seriously hurt, they could still walk and talk and everything was fine. No she was not shaken by the accident.

She was shaken by the slight soreness she still felt between her legs, shaken by the tingling of her skin, by the shiver running up and down her spine, by the smell that hung in the air. His, hers, theirs together.

Oh god what had happened here. What had she done, what had he done, what had they done? Almost of its own volition her hand crept up to her shoulder, pushing her scarf away, while her other hand fumbled for the small mirror in her handbag and she moved the mirror up and ran a finger over her neck. The concealer had muted the angry red colour of his teeth marks and of the hickey, but it had not made them disappear.

She closed her eyes and heaved a deep sigh as her finger went over the marks where he had branded her, marked her as his. Possessively, possessing and possessed, by his desire for her, by her desire for him. Gods, what had they done.

And how could it be that she wanted it again? How could she face him now? Knowing what they had done. Knowing what she had said. Oh, she still wanted him - now, here, tonight, tomorrow, every day of her life. But she wanted him to leave. He had to leave. He must leave. She could not bear him near her. Not when she knew what he had done. Not when she knew that…

When she knew what? A small little voice inside her head asked. What did she know?

Well, she knew that he had an affair with this young woman, didn't she? Yet, he claimed time and again that he had no affair. And she wanted to believe him. Wanted to believe him, throw herself in his arms and forget about the last weeks. But there was this young woman. She existed. And Clarisse had seen them hug, knew that he had seen the woman frequently over the last weeks.

If not an affair, he still had kept something from her, turned away from her, ignored her. He had kept things from her.

He had always complained that she closed herself off from him, didn't share her feelings, her secrets, but was he any better?

What did he expect from her?

The door opened and the object of her thoughts stuck his head in.

"The car is broken. Flat tire, front axle broken. We cannot move it from here. We need to wait for help from the palace."

She swallowed and tried to give her voice a neutral tone. "How long until they will come?"

Joseph shrugged. "With the snow coming down like this, it might be hours."

"So we wait here?" she asked anxiously. The temperature had already dropped several degrees in the car and Clarisse, preferring warmer temperatures, felt the chill travelling up her legs.

"No, we aren't far from the hunting lodge. You and I will go there, while Shades and Dansen wait here for help and pick us up then."

Her mind furiously tried to come up with a reason, why this could not be. She could not be alone with him. She just could not, and not at the hunting lodge that was so full of memories. Memories of them last September. Their first chance to get away after their honeymoon. Four days at the hunting lodge. A glorious September – warm, golden and sunny. They had not seen any of it, spending most of their time in bed.

"But they will catch their death out here. It is cold and the heating is out."

"They will use the last of the battery to keep the heating on. They will be all right. And somebody has to stay here. They will be fine."

"But…"

"I'm not going to argue with you about this, Clarisse. They stay here and we are going to the lodge." He held his hand out to her. "Come, before the snow picks up even more."

She didn't move.

"Clarisse…" The warning was obvious in his voice.

Her shoulders slumped down in defeat. "Very well." She took her coat and carefully moved towards the door, mindful of the slightly sore joints. Stepping out of the car, she almost fell back in, as she felt the wetness of the snow against her ankles and the cold flakes battering against her face.

She turned towards the two men, who would be staying. "Will you be alright, waiting here, gentlemen?"

Both men opened their mouth to speak, but only Shades could be heard. "Of course ma'am. Don't worry about us."

She nodded in understanding and turned to her husband. "Well, if we must…"

"We must." Joseph answered firmly, took hold of her arm and began to guide her forward through the snow.

* * *

"Honestly, why can they go to that nice and probably luxurious and warm lodge and we must stay here? We could have waited for help there as well." Dansen complained. 

"Because, we are personnel, they need the time alone and I said we stay here. Now, get that battery started so we can get the heating to work."

* * *

It took less than five minutes for the blizzard of snow to distort the image of the vehicle and it's two guardsmen. Joseph turned occasionally to glance back but it was no use, he could no longer be sure of the road let alone where the car was. 

He was still staring behind him when he encountered Clarisse standing hands on hips watching him. He bumped into her, instinctively reaching for her arm. She stepped back paying him no heed.

"How far did you say?"

"Less than two miles, a short walk."

"Not in weather like this." She was shouting above the wind in her ears, the more she spoke the harder it became, her throat complaining at the soreness of the cold. She clapped her mouth shut and took the scarf from her throat; nobody was likely to see the marks now.

Placing it over her head and tying it beneath her chin she felt Joseph come up behind her and take hold of her coat. He lifted the collar up then facing her fastened the button at her throat, pausing only momentarily as his eyes lingered on the redness his mouth had left.

"Try and keep the cold out." He must have whispered it; she could barely hear him over the wind and now the material covering her ears. She only nodded in response but couldn't help but scan his own short jacket, no scarf, at least he had his gloves.

He glanced down at her feet. "Those shoes aren't exactly good for walking in the snow."

"They were hardly meant for it." She snapped.

He swallowed. "Allow me to carry you."

She shook her head forcefully, "I'll be fine."

"You can't walk in this."

"Watch me."

She turned and began to stumble across the uneven surface, keeping her eyes pinned to the floor, partly to hide her face from the harsh wind, partly to keep an eye on her footing. Despite their predicament, despite the fact her body was still burning from his touch, she was damned angry with the man. Hell she'd said 'divorce' – had she really said that out loud to him? Add to that the fact that she was still rather 'uncomfortable' and walking became a whole lot harder, again she wondered how they had gotten so carried away that they could do that in the back of the car? In such a manner…

Joseph followed a few steps behind her, eyes fixed on her back, why did she always have to be so bloody independent and self-minded? He could help her, here now he could offer help yet she pressed on attempting to walk in high heel shoes in weather like this. He was sliding about and his footwear was flat. There were so many things he wanted to say to her right now, so many reasons why what had happened was wrong. And then this… well perhaps it was a blessing, how would he have coped for the day stuck with all those suits playing the dutiful happy husband when inside he was seething.

There were moments he wanted to take hold of her and shake some sense into her, make her realise… make her realise what exactly? She knew how much he loved her; she'd always known that, he adored her. They'd been so happy, after the wedding and the initial heady excitement of finally being together, publicly, not hiding their feelings away in some sordid secretive way. But no, he'd been foolish; somehow he thought marriage would be easy. That their love for each other would be enough, but marriage was more than that, any relationship was more than that. You had to work at it, talk about it; communication without shouting would be a start right now.

Yet who was he to judge her behaviour, hadn't he been just as bad? No, his secrets were for a reason, to protect her. That was what he'd told himself these past couple of months; it was all to protect her. She didn't need to be slapped with his problems so soon after they'd wed. She was still dealing with grooming and guiding Mia. But somehow along the way his good intentions had turned awry and now, good god now she thought he was messing around with somebody else. If only she knew how difficult it had been over the last few weeks to stay away from her, to keep his hands from her body, to safely keep his desires in check… there had been more than one cold shower recently.

His arms involuntarily shot forward as his eyes registered her trip, he caught her body before it hit the floor and hoisted her up, easily lifting her into his arms. For a second she fought against him, pressing her hands hard on his shoulders.

"I can walk, I don't need you…"

"Right now you do, your feet are soaking Clarisse."

She couldn't deny that, not only were they soaking but they were frozen too.

"It's too far, you can't carry me all the way." She said reluctantly.

"We'll see."

The problem with him carrying her wasn't that she was worried he wasn't physically up to it or couldn't manage the distance. It was the actual closeness between them, she tried to keep her head upright, to not allow her body to melt into the firmness of his chest, but it was a tough battle.

For a second he paused and she turned to glance at his face.

"Snow in my mouth." He said twitching his head.

She lifted her hand from her lap and wiped the snowflakes that had stuck to his lips and beard.

"Thank you." He mouthed hoisting her up a little and attempting to readjust her legs over his arm.

She grimaced and pressed hard on his chest.

"You're in pain… was it the accident, have you hurt your ribs?"

She shook her head. "Just… well…" she sighed. "Just a little sore."

The cause of her discomfort registered and the guilt washed over him draining his energy momentarily, she felt his hold dip and looped her arms around his neck, grabbing him and forcing him to stand straight again.

"I am so…"

"Don't. Not now."

He nodded, at the moment the most pressing issue was to get indoors and get dry and warm. They could discuss their actions later; he sensed it would be a discussion that could take a hell of a long time.

They walked for another 10 minutes then Joseph stopped again, Clarisse lifted her head from his chest unsure as to when she'd rested it there. The weather was getting worse, the snow almost blinding her as she attempted to figure out where they were.

"Darling, I need to put you down for a second." He was shouting over the wind, his anger slipping as his concern for her welfare took over.

She nodded and he gently slipped her feet back to the ground. She sank down into the snow, she hadn't realised how deep it had gotten, and he'd been carrying her through this, good lord how could he still move.

She watched as he kicked at the snow, and then knelt on it digging down. The frosty winds assaulted her face, the snow was driving its way down the collar of her coat and she was shaking as she watched him. Her scarf had long since turned into nothing but a wet piece of material, the protection it offered her face was minimal but she wasn't about to take it off.

"Joseph…" She called over the winds.

"Looking for the road." He shouted over his shoulder.

"Oh." She said to herself, it hadn't occurred to her they could have wandered off track, they could be anywhere now. No vehicles had passed, no sign of any other life. She hobbled over to him, fighting against the elements and knelt down helping him dig.

She only took a few scoops of the ice and then he caught her hands and moved them out of the way, the road, they were still on tarmac and hadn't wandered off onto a grassy bank. She dropped back on the snow relieved.

"Well as long as we're not heading for France we should get moving."

She straightened up rather reluctantly, for the snow seemed to be less violent when she was closer to the ground, but it couldn't be helped. A second later she felt herself be lifted up again.

"I told you, you don't have to carry me." She said forcefully, but he ignored her protests and silently plodded through the snow.

She sighed in annoyance, but almost unconsciously put her head back on his chest. Turning her face closer to his body she realized with a start that his short coat was not really covering his torso and that neither his suit jacket nor his shirt provided enough coverage. With a flash of guilt she understood that his shirt no longer could, since she - in her fog of desire - had...

Before the guilt could creep over her, her surroundings suddenly became darker, but the constant battering of snow stopped. At the same moment she felt herself stood back on the ground and him moving away. Despite her earlier protests, she couldn't help the whimper that escaped her at the loss of contact.

She heard him rummaging for something and within seconds he had produced the key and opened the door. Even though they had come here for that, she couldn't process the development and he came, scooped her up again and carried her over the threshold.

* * *

_Hope you enjoyed!_


	11. part 11

**Mixed Signals by _Posh_ and _Stoneygem  
_  
Part 11**

"Joseph, this isn't necessary."

"Gotta get you warmed up."

He proceeded to carry her into the lounge and sit her down on the couch, she realised it was covered in protective sheets. She pulled the scarf from her head and ran a hand through her wet hair.

"Do you think we can get a fire going?"

"I suspect so."

She glanced down at him, occupied in tugging his gloves off with his teeth; his fingers must be too cold she thought absently. He went on to slide her soaking shoes off, the moment his hands touched the sole of her feet she flinched pulling away from him.

He held her still. "Let me help. Your feet are freezing." He was rubbing her toes and she had to admit it felt good.

His hands wandered up her damp legs and she shivered at his touch, disgusted with herself for reacting in such a manner.

For his part Joseph wasn't entirely comfortable performing the act, he too was disgusted at himself for his actions earlier. Touching her now seemed something of a luxury he didn't deserve.

He stopped at her knees and tugged her stockings down, lifting her leg and slipping them off her feet.

"I'll get you a towel, wrap them up and we'll see about this fire."

She nodded mutely, a little breathless, whether it be from his touch or the exertion of walking in all that snow she wasn't sure.

He held her feet staring up at her face, so deathly pale yet her cheeks burning.

"If we get the fire going the water will heat up, you can take a bath that will help…" he swallowed, not wanting to ask the next question but not wanting to avoid it either. "Still, uncomfortable?"

She shook her head. "No, not anymore."

"Good," he squeezed her toes. "Good."

She watched him putter around, searching for some dry wood and paper, putting all of it into the fireplace and getting the fire started. It took only a few minutes and she could hear the embers crackling. He held his hands close to the flames for a few minutes and she realized with yet another flash of guilt that he must be freezing himself. She stared at his back. He had not even taken his coat off and she could see that it was starting to drip from the hem. She should get up and help him, at least help him out of his wet things. If he didn't get into something dry and warm soon, he would catch a cold at the least.**  
****  
**Before she could make up her mind though, he had moved away from the fire and gone somewhere. Trying to follow him with her eyes, Clarisse took the opportunity to gauge her surroundings. The place looked almost like half a year ago, only this time it wasn't prepared for their arrival. The furniture was still covered in protective sheets, the shutters closed, the pantry probably empty and the whole house not really aired out.

It smelled like dead air, but underneath it there was a scent. A distinct one, she would discern everywhere. His aftershave. Mixed with something…

Her own perfume.**  
****  
**Clarisse closed her eyes und rubbed a hand wearily over her face. Of all places they had to seek refuge here. She was sitting on the sofa they had made love on the second afternoon. After they had had that incredibly wonderful late lunch

Or the chair next to the fireplace. He had sat in it that same evening and she on his lap, cuddling in front of the fire, the blanket over them. They had fallen asleep like that. His arm supporting her back, his other over her legs, her head on his chest, his heartbeat being her lullaby.

"The heater is working; I've started a bath for you. You'll be warm in no time." His voice came from behind her.

She was suddenly overcome with the need to hold him, to have him so physically close to her that she couldn't breathe. To never be separate from him again. To never argue with him again. It was unbearable; this distance between them was unbearable.

Instead she only nodded.

"Clarisse, are you all right?"

"All right?" She shook her head slowly standing up. "I think Joseph it's plain to see that things between us are far from being all right."

Moving to the fire she removed her wet coat and for a second stood relishing the warmth the quickly growing fire offered. She closed her eyes and took a breath before turning.

"Thank you for the bath." As she passed by him he caught her arm, forcing her to face him.

He stared at her so tenderly, saying so many things with such silent grace. She felt herself shiver beneath the gaze of his dark penetrating eyes.

"I am sorry." His voice sounded different, tight and forced. He raised a hand to her throat as he continued. "I can't believe I did that to you… marked perfection."

She could have snapped at him with a harsh comment about branding her but the truth was she really didn't mind the marks, they made her feel human, alive… besides she had no energy left for arguing with him.

"And I'm sorry for hurting you." She indicated his chest. "And I'm obviously far from perfection, as you have come to realise."

She stepped to move away from him but he held her.

"Are we going to carry on like this, side-stepping issues, behaving like children, dancing around each other."

"I'm not sure are we?" Her voice was clipped and nastier than she meant it to be. "I don't know Joseph, I'm not sure who 'we' are anymore."

"You said you wanted a divorce…" His voice faltered and she felt her stomach twist at the word.

"I was angry, I am angry. You've hurt me."

"And you've hurt me."

She stared at him blankly. "How? How when you're the one who…"

"The one who what exactly Clarisse, the one who did what?"

She hastily pulled her arm from his, fumbling over her words. "Don't make me feel guilty for you not being able to keep your trousers fastened, I was faithful."

"So was I," he couldn't get the words out quick enough, wanting to defend himself. "Do you really think any woman would compare, the way I feel for you, how could…"

"Don't, don't say things like that, lies." She quickly headed through the lounge to the stairs but he followed.

"Not lies, you doubt my sincerity, have you always… is that why you hesitated for so long? I thought it was my being a commoner."

She turned on the stairs. "I've never thought of you that way."

"Really? Not at all embarrassed to introduce me to your friends in royal circles are we your majesty." His almost spat the last words at her, drawing them out sarcastically.

She turned on her heel and disappeared upstairs.

"Oh no, you don't run away that easily." He bounded up the stairs two at a time and caught her on the landing, catching her hand and forcing her to be still.

"We talk about this now."

"No. I have nothing more to say."

"I do, I will tell you this one last time, it is categorically the truth. I have never in my life lied to you, not once, and I'm not lying now. I am not, and never have been, sleeping, screwing, fucking or having any other kind of dalliance with Ms. De Marcos. I won't stand you holding this against me when I haven't done it, I won't stand you treating me like this."

She swallowed, searching for her voice. "And how do you intend to stop me treating you like this?"

"Oh god Clarisse…" he spun round slamming his hand against the wall, utter frustration swimming over him. "How the hell?" he shook his head closing his eyes. "How the hell do you expect us to function in this marriage when I'm constantly compared to him, held up to somebody else's standards."

He faced her again; he was shaking, from head to foot, violently shaking. Not angry just so damn well frustrated, what else could he possibly do to convince her?

"I would never raise a hand to you, not in any argument, don't you think by now that's been proven? Don't you think my anger level is just about at boiling point? Because let me tell you it doesn't get much worse than this, you've pretty much pushed me to edge." Taking deep breaths he stepped closer to her, to his relief she didn't back away. "I would never harm you, and I would never be unfaithful to you. Do you doubt my love for you?"

She bit down on her lip determined not to cry in front of him.

"Do you doubt it Clarisse, do you?"

She shook her head, not daring to speak for fear of her voice breaking.

"Answer me, I need to know."

"No, no I don't doubt it."

"And yet you think I'm having an affair, after nine months?" He said incredulously. "If you only knew how you make me feel, how long I've wanted you, dreamt of being with you… "

"Then why won't you touch me?" She blurted out. "Why this distance, why avoid me, I look like a fool. The staff know, they gossip, and Mia and Charlotte… everyone knows but me." The tears couldn't be helped now and she sobbed uncontrollably trying to speak at the same time. "They all know, and I try so very hard to please you, behaving like some idiotic woman… and they're laughing at me, you are…"

"Nobody is laughing at you." Though still so aggravated and annoyed he couldn't stand there and watch her cry helplessly. He placed his hands on her upper arms, guiding her body closer to his. "I am not laughing at you, there is no affair, there never will be. The maids will always gossip, and Mia and Charlotte… Clarisse they care about you, about us, Charlotte knows the truth because she came to me and I was forced…"

"The truth?" She raised her head; tear filled eyes staring at him. "You share it with Charlotte yet you can't tell your own wife?"

"I wanted to protect you."

"From what damn it? Now I look like a fool because my assistant knows more about my marriage than I do, what truth Joseph, how can I trust you when you sneak around behind my back."

"I didn't want to hurt you."

"So you allow me to believe our marriage was over?"

"It wasn't meant go that far."

"Oh, oh well I apologise. I'm sorry if I've overreacted."

This time when she turned away from him he allowed her to enter the bathroom, flinching as she slammed the door. For a few minutes he stood outside listening to her continue to cry. Finally she stopped and he waited as she removed her clothes and slipped into the water. Only then did he go downstairs.

* * *

A gentle tap on the door rose Clarisse from her musings. She didn't grant him entrance but he came into the room anyway, standing at the foot of the bath looking at her, a mug in his hand. 

"I brought you some Tea, there is no milk, I put a drop of whisky in."

"You should have just brought the whisky." She said glancing away from him, it didn't matter that he was looking at her naked; he'd seen it all before anyway, there was nothing to hide.

"Well…" He settled the mug on the side of the bath near her head. "I thought perhaps you needed to be coherent when I told you the truth."

He sat down on the floor next to her, leaning back against the wall, his knees raised, his hands resting on them.

"You must understand that none of this was done to hurt you, never was the thought further from my mind. I didn't tell you because it was too much, the wedding, the coronation, you were still guiding Mia, we know she struggled those first five months and you were as much the Queen as ever…"

She went to interrupt him but he held his hand up. "Let me finish. I never minded that, I had this new project, education, but well… that's superfluous. The point is this wasn't intentional, and I never meant it to go so far or cause either of us such pain. And I'm sorry for that, I truly am, but, well it's thrown some issues up darling don't you think."

He closed his eyes resting his head back wearily against the wall. It was only now she noted he was still wearing his damp clothes and how drawn his face looked.

"Issues that we've got to face, we can't simply gloss over them and carry on. Not if we want this marriage to work."

She felt her throat tighten, curled her hands up beneath the water pricking her skin with her nails.

"So, first thing's first. What's been going on." He opened his eyes again and levelled her with his gaze.

Presently he began to speak.

It must be something about this voice, she figured. Something in his voice. Something that made it sound so commanding, so light, so sincere or so sexy that it reduced her to a quivering mindless woman who could only beg for his touch. It was his voice, she knew.  
Right now, it soothed her, like a lullaby.

She knew she should pay attention to what he was saying, but her eyes wereheavy from the warmth of the water and pure exhaustion. Yet she knew this was important. If she missed one piece of information now, she would never receive it.

"You were so upset by my plan to go on that security-training program, especially so soon after the Christmas rush. So angry. And I…" he sighed running a weary hand over his face. "I didn't really know what to do with myself. In a way, I guess, I was bored with the pace our…my life was taking."

Her eyes snapped open. Would this be the confession? The excuse?

"So that's why I ignored your plea and went anyway. After all, it wasn't my first training session, I got to be with the boys again, and I knew what to expect and I thought, I could swing it without problems." He rolled his eyes, apparently more at himself than anything else. "I was wrong."

The knot in her stomach tightened.

He looked at her face again and she could distinguish nervousness at the edges of his features. "You do know that we came home a day later than expected."

She nodded mutely. Where would this lead to?

"That was, because there was a little accident. Of course you found out that there'd be an accident, but you didn't know that it was me involved in it. During a rope climb, I lost my hold and fell several metres. From what the boys said, it wasn't a pretty picture, nor a pretty sound. They scraped me off the pasture and took me to a doctor."

She opened her mouth to ask how she hadn't known, but his voice effectively stopped her.

"The doctor, it was Anna's fiancé, found that I wasn't that badly injured. Only a few sore joints and bruises, though in rather delicate regions. He advised me to refrain from strenuous activity over the next few days until the bruises were gone. And yes, that included touching you." A sarcastic smile flashed over his face. "So, I was practically under doctor's orders to stay away from you."

Clarisse eyed him carefully. This might explain the beginning, but not…

"However, he also advised me to see a specialist. He said that my fall had not come from carelessness, but that my results showed signs of a mild heart attack."

She bit her lip in shock. Heart attack? Joseph? Never! He couldn't. He was so fit, so… so… so fit. He couldn't have a heart attack. Not him. He was doing all sorts of sports and he was muscled and thin and…and…not like Rupert… He couldn't…

"Naturally, I was in denial. I told him that it couldn't be, that I was making sure I stayed in shape. That I did sports and didn't smoke and watched my diet and whatnot. Adrian wouldn't hear of it. He sent me to Anna. Anna is a cardiologist and a friend. Actually, her parents were friends of mine in school. Her father still is one of my best friends. I was best man at his wedding, I was, am godfather of his oldest daughter - Anna. Jorge would probably kill me if I ever looked the wrong way at his daughter. Not that I would look at her like that." He smiled.

"Anna did a check up a day later, but it came back inconclusive. So, I had to wait and do the tests again and..."

"Why didn't you tell me? You say yourself you are a fit man, why would they make such a fuss?" Her voice was barely audible, yet he could hear the forcefulness in it. It made him cringe. Rupert had died of a heart condition, he knew, and despite everything it had shaken her to the core.

"The worry was justified, I'm afraid." This time he slid down to the floor and rubbed his hands against his face. Clarisse felt her heart swell with compassion. He looked so worried, so weary, so… scared.

His voice was almost toneless as he continued and she felt her heart constrict, the knot in her stomach tightened. She dug her nails deeper into her palms to keep her cool, to send him some of the control that seemed to be slipping away from him.

"My father died of a heart attack. So, did one of his brothers, my grandfather and two of his brothers. Two of my cousins have already been taken by a heart condition. It's inherited apparently. Anna said it could only be a matter of time until it would strike me too."

Finally, he looked up and fixed her with a tired gaze. She could barely swallow her gasp, when she saw his drawn face. How tired he looked and how old. How torturous those weeks of not knowing must have been. How long and worry laden. "Anna said that I should refrain from too much physical activity…"

"And that included no sex." Her voice was harsher than she had intended to, but slowly one thought trickled through her worry. He had not told her. He had hidden the fact that he might be seriously ill from her. He let her believe that he had lost interest in her, made her make a fool of herself in public and in private (she didn't dare think what her maids had thought, what the clerical staff had thought when they got a glimpse of her lingerie-orders), instead of telling her that he might be ill?

He only nodded. "Clarisse, believe me that was the hardest thing I ever had to do. You were…you are so enticing. I could gladly make it my general occupation to make love to you, no matter if you are wearing those flimsy things or something completely plain. You are always the most beautiful and exciting woman to me. There is no other, will never be another…"

"And yet, you kept information from me." Was her clipped reply. She rose from the water and he couldn't help but stare at her figure, following the path of the water droplets down her hips, over her breast, along her legs.

He closed his eyes and nodded again wincing slightly under her harsh tone.

"You kept this from me. You'd rather have me make a fool of myself than tell me the truth."

"I wanted to protect you…"

"I don't need protection!" She shouted at him, while wrapping a towel around herself. "Not like this Joseph."

"I..."

"No! No! You demand that I don't compare you to Rupert. How can you demand that and yet act exactly like him. Keeping secrets from me, ignoring me, pushing me away. I am tired of this, Joseph. Maybe you didn't have an affair with this woman; maybe you didn't cheat on me. But you betrayed me nonetheless. You say you love me. How am I supposed to believe that? How am _I_ supposed to believe that? You don't trust me Joseph that is the problem. You accuse me of not trusting you, but do you trust me?" She let the towel fall and donned one of the robes hanging on a hook on the door.

"You can use the bath now…I recommend adding more hot water."

Almost mechanically, he reacted, got up from his sitting position and started to take off his clothes. The jacket, the tie, the ruined shirt…he didn't even know what he was doing. His body functioned from pure habit.

He barely registered her opening the door.

Just before she was about to close the bathroom door behind her, she looked at him again. "I have only one question, Joseph. Would you have told me one day or would you rather have left me, making me believe that you got bored of me?"

He didn't turn to answer her, what was the point; she already seemed to have made up her mind. She closed the door a little too sharply… in response he closed his eyes and allowed his head to fall back into the water.


	12. part 12

**Mixed Signals by _Posh_ and _Stoneygem_**

Part 12

When Joseph finally emerged from the bathroom, dressed in a pair of fresh pyjamas and a plain black robe, it was already night. The lodge stood in darkness, Clarisse had made no attempt to turn any of the lamps on and he wasn't about to break the melancholic mood. At least it was warm, how different things could have been. Stuck here together as a storm raged outside, the windows iced, the snow piling up at the door, a fire burning brightly in the hearth… they should have been cuddled up in front of it enjoying the solitude. But no, they were barely able to communicate.

He considered climbing into bed alone but his sensibilities forbid him and instead he made his way downstairs. Padding barefooted down the open wooden staircase he could make out the light from the fire illuminating her face. She sat on the floor, a blanket over her legs, a glass resting on her knee, so she'd found the whisky bottle, he mused.

He passed the back of the lounge silently not wishing to disturb her and headed straight for the kitchen. He wasn't exactly starving but he realised they needed to eat something at least. She never could hold the strong liquor; if she drank anymore she'd wake up feeling like hell. Perhaps she'd wake up feeling like that anyway but well, he could but try.

He located a few things in the cupboards, dried pasta and rice but taking the time to prepare it seemed out of the question, and then to eat it plain… sighing he returned it to the cupboard. In an unmarked tub he found nuts, raisins, dried fruit. It wasn't decadence but he could munch on that for a while. In another cupboard he found a pack of unopened biscuits, ginger. Well, they would suffice. He boiled more water and made a pot of Peppermint Tea, then placing his finds on a tray he carried it through to the lounge.

She visibly jumped when he knelt down next to her putting down the tray. She hadn't expected to see him for the rest of the evening.

"It's not the Ritz but I think this will do until tomorrow."

"Sorry?" She said groggily.

"Rations."

"I'm not hungry."

"Well, that's a good thing looking at this." His voice was light, trying to lift the mood.

She continued staring into the fire, swirling the hazy liquid in her glass.

"How much of that have you downed?"

"Second glass." She lifted it to her lips and drained it. "Do you wish to join me in another?"

She reached across the carpet for the bottle but he caught it first and lifted it from her reach, also taking the glass from her hand.

"Have some Tea."

"At this point I think I'd rather be drunk."

"Well me too but somehow I don't think that's going to help us get through this."

"I beg to differ."

"Indulge me for a while…"

"And pray why should I do that?" Her voice was sharp and cutting.

"Clarisse! Give me a break, just for a moment. Drink the flaming Tea."

He moved next to her, leaning against the couch next to her and stretching his feet towards the fire.

For several minutes they sat in silence, Joseph couldn't think what to say, Clarisse simply didn't want to say anything. The fire crackled and smoked its way up the chimney and outside the snow continued to fall.

The darkness of the room swallowed up the couple, seizing any words they may have attempted to form. Dampening spirits even further and leaving a dull numbness to the events of the day.

Finally Joseph breathed deeply. "_Sad hours seem long_"

She swallowed, her throat suddenly very dry. "You're quoting to me now."

"Seemed apt. Besides I've run out of things to say."

She turned her head to regard him, recalling how he looked earlier in the bathroom. So drained and weary, so tired, now the firelight flickered across his handsome face and he seemed well again, more himself, more the man she knew.

She was tempted to reach across and touch him, to run her hand down his cheek to his jaw line, across his beard, when she reached his lips she knew he'd kiss her fingertips, perhaps across her palm to her wrist and then all would be lost.

So instead she remained still, leaving her hands firmly resting in her lap, but keeping her eyes on his face.

"The thought occurred to me, as I sat here, that I could have lost you… if the tests had brought bad news. And I wondered, if then you would have told me…"

"Clarisse." He warned.

"No it's my turn is it not, would you have told me if the results had been bad news, or would you have waited until you had to be rushed into hospital, or perhaps in a note after your dea…" She couldn't finish the sentence because a sob escaped her throat. She clamped her hand over her mouth, cursing herself for being so weak.

"Right now, I wonder if you would even care." His words were hardly registered, said under his breath yet the swiftness with which she turned to him and grabbed his hands shook him from the dull mood.

"Not care, if you died, do you think me that cold?"

"I'm not sure what I think at the moment Clarisse."

"You hid a serious health condition for me, you led me to believe our marriage was already over, I could have helped." She gulped back her tears. "I would have helped, I… I couldn't imagine being here without you, not now."

Her honesty was raw and it gripped his chest, perhaps this was a breakthrough.

"I never meant to hurt you so badly, I never wanted to push you away. After everything that happened with Rupert and then, and then Philippe, I didn't want you to worry that it might be me next."

Her palm hit against his chest. "You're tearing me apart…" Her sobs were constant now; tears spilling from already sore eyes. "Damn you Joseph, I can't forgive you for deceiving me but damn it I can't be without you, and if you'd been ill, if…"

He caught her flailing hands and brought her head to his shoulder, wrapping his arms around her back and holding her. Really holding her, for the first time in weeks.

"Shhh, darling," He hastily snuffled back his own tears. "Oh Clarisse, how did we get to this. How did we allow it to get to this?"

* * *

Hours passed and still they remained in front of the fire. Clarisse lying on her side with a pillow from the couch beneath her head staring into the flames, Joseph behind her, his head propped up on one arm so he could see her face. His other hand rested on her hip, his thumb gently stroking her, it was a tiny amount of pressure but she felt it as keenly as if he were licking her skin.

She breathed deeply as another tear slid down her face, she thought perhaps at some point she'd run out of them but just when she thought it was over some painful thought would flip through her mind and another would fall.

He watched her struggle with her emotions, watched as she wiped her already sore cheeks and attempted to keep her breathing on an even keel.

"Do you think…" She shifted her head a little, lifting her mouth up from the pillow. "Do you think this will work… us?"

"Well I'm not giving up."

"That's not a fair answer." She shuffled over onto her back to look at him. "I'm sorry for the things I said to you, the accusations, the unkind words, the downright malicious words. I've never been like that… I was torn between jealousy and hatred and embarrassment and disgust… and then feeling sorry for myself, feeling that in the end it was inevitable, it was my fault."

His hand had slid onto her stomach when she'd turned and now he daren't move a finger for fear of losing the contact.

"If you can't let go of this self doubt Clarisse, these grievances about not being attractive enough… constantly wondering if I'm looking elsewhere then how can we move forward? Hmmm…" His voice was gentle, almost soothing, though his words were to the point. "I can only proclaim my love for you in so many ways, I can only reassure you of how incredibly beautiful you are so many times… if you don't even believe in my words. It comes down to trust again does it not?"

"Yes, I suppose it does. It's not that I don't believe you…" She moved again, lifting herself up the pillow so her head was level with his. "You must understand Joseph I've been alone for so long, and besides it's not as if I've even had a proper relationship before, let alone experience anything like this," She shrugged. "I don't know how to handle this. I'm constantly doubting my role."

"You seem to think this just happens to us, do you think every newly married couple gets it perfectly right straight off? Every couple has a period of adjustment, learning the other, negotiating the roles… most have that period called 'dating' to ease them into it. We had hidden rendezvous and emotions kept in check. Hardly the ideal way to begin."

"What if I get it wrong?" She whispered.

"We won't…" He sighed. "I apologise too, I went about this whole health issue the wrong way. I shut you out because I thought it was for the best, and as it went on it got more difficult to try and explain it to you. I thought it would be okay, in the end, I thought holding you at night and still being your friend would somehow ease away the difficulties… I misjudged you and I'm sorry. But what it has shown is our problems Clarisse, we can either choose to get up tomorrow and start again sweetness and light, happy to be together at last and forget these past two months, or we can address them."

She closed her eyes; she already knew the route they would have to take.

"Because beneath whatever problems we have, how ever much we've hurt each other recently the bottom line is we love each other… don't we?"

"Oh yes." She breathed looking up at him.

He smiled, possibly for the first time in a week and gently touched her cheek. "Then we'll work through this together. We have to learn to share certain things, to trust in each other."

She touched his hand where it lay on her stomach and folded her fingers with his battling more tears and struggling unsuccessfully to hold them back. "Oh, ohhhh…." She groaned quickly twisting onto her side and burying her head against his chest.

When she finally pulled back and lifted her face to his he was still smiling at her, his hands on her back soothingly rubbing her skin through her robe.

"I never stopped loving you." She said honestly, it wasn't often Clarisse said the words, still rather uncomfortable saying it out loud and the depth of her feeling wasn't lost on him. "It somehow got lost amongst the doubt and anger…"

"Then you don't wish to divorce me?" He was holding her face now, smoothing away her tears as he smiled, his eyes sparkling once again.

She allowed herself a small ironic smile. "No, not just yet."

"Good." He kissed her forehead then held her close again, tucking her head against his shoulder.

* * *

Joseph lay flat on his back staring at the ceiling, at the shadows the dying fire cast upon it. Soon he would have to move and freshen it otherwise they would wake cold. Not that sleep seemed likely anytime soon. He wasn't about to disturb his wife just yet, she lay half on top of him, her head on his chest, one arm tightly around his waist the other lying on his chest, toying with the buttons on his shirt. For the first time she was actually revealing something of great personal importance and pain to him, a step towards that sharing he hoped for.

"It only happened twice." She said gently. "I mean seriously, after my sons were born our… relationship dwindled and eventually died out in that respect. He had lovers and I didn't mind, to be honest I was grateful to them. I know you think of my sleeping with a man I didn't love sickening…"

"Not sickening, just, painful."

"Perhaps it was, at times, but I was raised that way Joseph, I never knew anything other than that kind of life… certainly never anything like this. Nobody spoke of love in the family."

He closed his eyes as he listened to her speak, her voice taking on a deep yet somehow soft tone, resigned to the truth of what she was telling him.

"The first time I was in the library, it was autumn, November I think and very cold, I was by the fire reading when he came to me. We were arguing I think, or had been, over my wanting the boys to spend time with normal children… experience something of the real world in a summer camp. He disagreed, I went ahead and planned it anyhow, being the pushy woman that I am, and well, we'd been arguing for a while over it. Then, that evening,"

She swallowed before continuing, the events coming back to her in a blur, no feelings about it any longer, just a dull ache, as if she was witnessing some other woman go through it.

"I was trying to ignore him I remember that, continued to read as he stormed about the room hurling abuse at me, then he took the book from me and threw it in the fire and I shouted back. And then, well, things happened so fast, and I blocked it out, pretended that it hadn't really happened. He only hit me once, I remember standing there in utter shock staring at this man, this man I'd lived with for so many years, this man whose children I'd bore and my brain couldn't comprehend that he'd actually done it. I must have turned away from him, headed for the door but he grabbed me from behind and dragged me across the room to the table… do you remember that table, huge old thing that had been in the Palace for centuries and…"

"You had the workmen burn it when the renovations took place."

"Yes I did." She took another deep shuddering breath before continuing. "Well, there on that table. And afterwards he just left me there, and somehow I had to find this strength to get up again… this façade slipped into place, this stoic cold woman who could switch her emotions off when she needed to."

He squeezed her shoulder, couldn't find words to offer her for comfort, what comfort could be found now, it was over twenty years ago.

"The second time he was drunk, and it was years later, not as violent. He never mentioned it, never, in all those years. Those months when I sat by his bed soothing his discomfort, watching him slowly slip away he never once mentioned it. He wasn't by nature a violent man Joseph, you know that, just occasionally, well, you can't get anymore stress than being a King, a madman can look to being a king to escape his madness… where does the king go?"

"That's no excuse for hurting you."

"Perhaps not. But it's a fact."

He slowly exhaled the breath he'd been holding. "And this morning in the car…"

Now she lifted her head. "Oh that was nothing like it… no, I wanted that." She blushed glancing at their entwined hands. "Part of me wanted that. Some kind of release."

"I wanted it too, just not in that way." He allowed his free hand to run through her hair. "I've missed you so much."

She turned her head and caught his palm with her lips, kissing him sweetly. "I've never shared that with anyone."

"I know." He held her face not allowing her to turn away. "How do you feel?"

"Not too bad actually, but I think now's the time to allow me another whisky."

He smiled steadily at her. "Yes, I think so too."

* * *

Joseph leant over Clarisse's sleeping form and threw more wood into the fire. Steadily he pulled himself back and lay down next to her, lifting the sheets and wrapping them around his body. He glanced at the clock above the fireplace, 2:35 a.m. and he'd yet to sleep. Each time he closed his eyes another thought would invade and take over and he couldn't find peace.

She stirred next to him, turning slightly, her arm lay above her on the pillow and he watched as her body settled back into a restful position. Her leg was barely brushing his; freed from the confines of her robe he reached down and touched her silky skin. How could she doubt her beauty so much? Have so many negative views of herself?

He closed his eyes again, he really should sleep, who knew what tomorrow held. Perhaps more walking if no help arrived. He felt her turn again; facing him now, her hand rested on his chest, her face snuggled into his neck.

She murmured something and he tightened his hold on her waist. She must be dreaming, either that or waking, her hand was tracing patterns over his arm, pushing the sleeve of his shirt up to make contact with his skin. He could smell her hair, leant his head forward just a fraction and buried his face completely in the softness.

Then she kissed his neck and he groaned… one kiss and he was groaning. Her body was too close, and it had been too long since they'd taken the time to adore and worship properly. Not some frenzied physical thing but a moment of complete adoration. His face tickled as she moved and her hair slid up his face, he thought about opening his eyes but then found her lips hovering over his, not quite touching yet but he could feel the warmth of her breath, the heat of her skin, her perfume so blissfully intoxicating.

It seemed to him that time had stilled for a second, the air hung around them so close and not one sound interrupted the moment. Her bottom lip barely touched his and yet he shuddered, desperately trying to hold back. Finally her top lip rested against his, tantalisingly close yet still the kiss was fragile, she was slowly waking in his arms.

She breathed and slipped forward her mouth fully covering his, pressing against him firmly now, seeking his kiss. He felt her arm rise over his back, touching the nape of his neck and her mouth opened. He couldn't resist slipping his tongue forward to seek hers, so soft, so much delicious warmth and the kiss was complete.

They kissed for what seemed an age, arms and hands and legs touching and caressing as their mouths assaulted each other in the most delicious of ways. Communication through words may have been difficult to come by at the moment but certainly their bodies had missed the other and were now making up for it.

They made love there on the rug in front of the fire, slowly, leisurely, worshipping, reverence and devotion driving the act onwards. No words were spoken, the only sounds of her sighs and gasps, his deep groans. Afterwards he was the one to cry, she felt the moisture seeping down her neck as he head lay on her shoulder. Soothing him she rubbed his back, held his body with her legs. In time they turned together, lying on their sides, legs still wrapped together, arms holding the other close. Sleep came, peaceful and for the first time in so long, serene.

* * *

Joseph woke slowly, grudgingly; he was blissfully warm and content. Lying back in the softness of the pillow, the feel and fragrance of her body still wrapped around him, this was how mornings should be. Hearing the clock chime again in the hall he opened his eyes, and quickly shielded them from the sunlight coming through the slight gap in the drapes.

Complaining about it he turned his head and buried it in the pillow. He felt Clarisse shift in his arms and gripped her waist a little tighter, he didn't want the contact to end quite yet. He wanted to stay here feeling completely relaxed and content, and not have to face up to the fact that despite their making love last night they still had a hell of way to go in their relationship. At least this was a start, a damned good start, he told himself smiling.

"Joseph…" She whispered.

He could feel her looking at him, he didn't move or flicker an eye, perhaps she'd lay back down and go back to sleep with him. He felt her pull herself from his arms though, he growled and pulled her back to him.

She giggled. "Joseph… I need to get up."

"Stay here with me." He nuzzled her neck, kissing her collarbone.

"I have to… I'll be right back." She sat up again, tilting her head down and kissing his forehead.

"Hurry. And don't let the cold in."

"Oh I do apologise Sir."

She reached for his shirt that had been abandoned the night before and unevenly fastened a few buttons to keep her discreet as she climbed the stairs.

A few minutes later she returned downstairs and slipped beneath the blankets next to him, he wrapped his arms around her waist and pressed his head against her chest feigning sleep.

"Joseph…"

"Hmmm…"

"The sun is shining."

"I know."

Which means the snow will be melting."

"Yes."

"And we will have to go home."

He squeezed her waist. "You're not pleased with that thought?"

"Things will change."

"Undoubtedly."

He felt her sigh and lifted his head to look at her. "Clarisse, darling we can't expect it to suddenly be perfect."

"I know that." She said exasperated, for a second he thought she was angry again, her eyes closed and brow furrowed, but then she gazed at him again and touched his face. "I don't want to lose you."

"You won't."

He slid his fingers into her hair and brought her mouth down to his.

"Now." He said gently. "We should dress before the cavalry arrives."

* * *

_Hope you enjoyed that slightly happier chapter :-) if you are of age there is an adult version of this chapter just mail me if you'd like to read it. There is also an extended "adult" version of This Bed too if anyone wants to read that. Thanks Rhonda_


	13. part 13

**Mixed Signals by _Posh _& _Stoneygem  
_  
Part 13**

They should not have been rescued. It would have made things easier. Had they not been rescued, they might have had a chance to make things right – to talk, to argue, to share, to love, to build bridges.

As it were they were rescued, and that seemed to have been the beginning of the end. Easter had gone by, March had gone by and now they were in the middle of April and life still didn't seem to take a breath. At least not for Joseph.

Clarisse sighed, standing once again by the window in her office. 'I should better step away from it; it always gives me those morbid thoughts,' she thought sarcastically. She didn't know exactly, where this mood had come from today. Outside the afternoon sun was shining brightly upon the lawn, even through the glass she could hear the birds and if she really tried she could smell spring in the air. Still, Clarisse felt a hint of depression.

They should not have been rescued.

At the time they were somewhat relieved to be taken from their slightly uncomfortable abode, snowed in and without sufficient food sources. Yet, they were sad to leave their haven, where it was just them, where only their relationship mattered.

Oh, they had been full of good intentions, planning to talk more, share more. They wanted to make a whole new start, to learn to know each other again as people – as a woman and a man strongly attracted to each other. They wanted to properly court each other, go through all its stages and to build their trust in each other again.

How good it had sounded and how easy she thought it would be. Clarisse covered her face with her hands and breathed deeply. It had seemed so easy.

Now, merely five weeks later she had to accept that they had failed in their plan.

In the anteroom of her office a phone rang and she jumped at the sound. Maybe, it would be Joseph calling her? She hadn't heard from him for almost two days now.

But the telephone on her desk remained silent.

Clarisse heaved another sigh, turned and sat down on her chair. Everything was so quiet. She had long since finished her work for the day and didn't know what to do with herself. Truth to be told, she was downright bored.

Of course, she was happy that Mia had grown into her role so quickly and was thriving on a wave of enthusiasm and success. Of course, she was relieved not to be forced to work through every trade agreement; those papers were positively dull. However, right now, Clarisse would have been glad about a trade agreement on delivering snow to Russia.

Naturally, she could call it a day and take a stroll through the gardens. Or she could choose a book from the library and indulge herself with a leisurely read by the fire with tea and her favourite chocolate. After all, Joseph wasn't there to tease her about her secret weakness. Or she could really pamper herself – a long soak in the tub and then taking her time to apply lotion to every inch of her skin.

Groaning Clarisse realized she was too restless to even consider one of those options. Besides, the evening would be long and lonely enough to do all of them.

To be honest, she didn't feel like walking all by herself, neither did she feel like beautifying herself – for whom anyway? And the book? She could read one while waiting another evening for his call and then during the sleepless night, if the call didn't come.

Oh stop it Clarisse, she chastised herself, the project is really important and it is good that he has something to keep him busy. Yes, but so busy? An annoying little voice in her head asked.

"Oh bother!" she exclaimed, utterly annoyed with herself.

"Excuse me?" Charlotte asked from the door, clearly taken aback.

Clarisse looked up. "Oh…erm…never mind, Charlotte. What can I do for you?" She asked slightly embarrassed.

"Queen Mia asks, if you would be so kind to take a look at the proposal she has drafted. She said, you might be able to erase the glitches."

The former queen brightened. "Of course, I will. I go through it and take it to Mia then."

"Very well, your Majesty." The aide bowed and left the office.

* * *

On her way to her own office, Charlotte reflected on the mood swings her former queen was going through these days. How hopeful they all had been, when the couple had been rescued from the snowed in hunting lodge. Everybody could see things were looking up again.

The couple had looked exhausted, but much more at ease with each other than the morning before. They were even holding hands, when they had walked into the palace. Of course, things were not back to normal, that much had been obvious. The former easy banter and palpable intimacy was not back and conversations still seemed to be strained, but at least they seemed to be working on it.

Everybody in the palace had hoped they would make more progress.

Who could have known that suddenly all Europe had decided that education was the topic of the season.

Months earlier, Sir Joseph had almost timidly expressed an interest in helping the National Education Board with their work. First minor contacts had been established and finally – though with more than one doubtfully raised eyebrow – he had been accepted as a member of the board, working in the group that tried to further vocational training in Genovia.

In March, seeing all those conferences and meetings across the continent, the board had realized that the husband of their former monarch was an important enough man to further their causes. From this moment on, Sir Joseph's involvement had suddenly grown in leaps and bounds. Suddenly, his schedule was overflowing with meetings, conferences, visits, observations and so on.

Joe loved it. Everybody could see that he throve on it. People were surprised how well thought his proposals were. His voice was heard, his opinion valued. The success was staggering.

The rate his marriage suffered through this success, however, was staggering as well. He was rarely home, three international conferences in the last two weeks alone. Right now, he was in Brussels for four days trying to negotiate the set up of a small but fine school for future high European officials in Genovia. The negotiations were hard and went on endlessly. Apparently they had gone on until four in the morning last night, but Joe was able to drive a wedge into the wall of refusal. Mr. Larain, the other board member had sounded clearly impressed on the phone this morning.

"Is she in a better mood now?" Shades question shook Charlotte out of her musings.

She snorted tiredly. "Yes, but I'm afraid it had more to do with the piece of work I gave her than anything else. She is bored, she is depressed. She misses him. I never thought I'd see the day, when you could see her feelings so easily."

Shades nodded. "I know. I really hoped that leaving them stranded in the lodge over night would do the trick. But it was only a short reprieve, it seems."

"Yes, whatever plans they made there, they clearly could not make them work. We are right back, where we were. They don't talk, they don't touch…"

"He never seems to be here enough for them to touch. Bloody politics. Who'd thought, the boss would enjoy this dog and pony show."

Charlotte chuckled. "He does important work."

"Still, he's so caught up in all that, he doesn't even realize that he's neglecting her. He's digging his own grave here and he doesn't even realize it."

* * *

The comforter was just too warm, and it kept slipping away. The sheets were bunched up. Couldn't they stay the way they were supposed to? And why was her pillow so flat?

Clarisse turned for the umpteenths time of the night and groaned loudly. No matter which way she turned, sleep just wouldn't come.

He had not called. Again.

The second day during which he had not called her. Yes, of course he was busy. Those negotiations were important. Of course, but couldn't he have found at least five minutes during a coffee break to say hello?

And she? She had stayed in their suite the whole evening. She had her dinner served here so she would be here in case the phone rang. She had barely dared to take a shower for fear of missing his call. And later she had barely paid attention to her book, all the while staring at the phone willing it to ring.

It never did.

Now she was tossing and turning in their gigantic bed waiting for sleep to come. Clarisse heaved a sigh. This led to nothing.

Sitting up, she contemplated her options. But nothing came to her mind. With a frustrated wail she threw herself over onto his side of the bed and groaned again. The pillow didn't even smell like him anymore. As a matter of fact, nothing in this bed smelt like him.

With a sudden inspiration, Clarisse leaped out of the bed and rushed over to the walk-in closet Joseph now used for his wardrobe. The drawer with his pyjamas was easily found. Her favourite pyjama shirt as well. Quickly removing her own nightshirt and donning his shirt, Clarisse quickly moved under the covers again. Settling herself she heaved another sigh, but this time with a smile. Finally, his scent enveloped her again. If it could not be his arms, then his smell would have to do. At least, she could dream of him now - if sleep ever came.

A few minutes later, her peaceful, even breathing was the only sound in the room.

* * *

Joseph was accustomed to sneaking about in the dark, occupational hazard, he could have hung around in Belgium for another night and got a flight back the following morning. Yet the way he figured it he might as well get a last minute flight home that evening, have a few hours sleep and extra time with Clarisse. They'd been apart far too often lately.

The palace was perfectly still and silent as he made his way along the lengthy corridors, just the way he liked it. Years ago it was his favourite pastime, to have the nightshift and enjoy the peacefulness, to wander the grounds on duty and have all that to himself – or as near as it was ever going to be. Then he found the days far more interesting, a certain lady stole his attention and things were never the same.

He nodded to the guards outside the entrance to their suite and entered walking the short distance down towards the main door leading into the lounge, loosening his tie as he went. The scent of her hit him as soon as he stepped inside; through instinct he moved to the couch and laid his jacket down throwing his tie on top of it. He stood his briefcase by the coffee table and made his way to the bedroom.

Clarisse slept on her side, one hand beneath her cheek, he bent to kiss her then thought better of it. It was 3:30 after all, best not wake her now. Instead he went to the bathroom and rinsed his face.

A few moments later, completely stripped, he gently lifted the bed sheets and slid in next to her. For a second he lay on his back sinking down into the familiar softness of the bed, nothing quite like your own bed. Then she murmured something next to him and moved a little.

He slid closer to her, resting a hand on her hip, feeling the warmth of her body so close to his. He could see her bare shoulder, her pale skin shining in the darkness. He couldn't resist leaning forward and kissing her there. She shivered against him, her head twisting a little, a hand coming up to touch him.

"Joseph?"

"Mmm, yes,"

"What… am I dreaming?"

"No, I took a late flight back."

"You didn't call."

"I know, I'm sorry, I haven't been getting back to the hotel until 2 a.m. some days."

He slid his hand down over her hip to her stomach and she turned over into his arms, her hands sliding over his shoulders.

"They don't have phones anymore in the limousine, or did your mobile fail?" She was sleepy, her words merged together.

He smiled. "I'm sorry, what can I say I'm a man and I got bogged down in work."

"Hmm…" She closed her eyes again and rested her head on his chest; regardless of the fact he hadn't called she was already melting against him now that he was back.

He stroked her back, kissed her head, happy just to be holding her again. He adored his new position, the challenges it was bringing, the fact he was being given some recognition at last. Yet he did miss her, missed their time together. Missed her wit and sharp comments, her laugh, her smile, her acute observations on things another might not even notice.

"How have you been?" He whispered gently.

"Lonely." She mumbled.

"I'm sorry, waking you up."

She lifted her head now, resting a palm on his chest and bringing her face to his. Her kiss was swift and fleeting.

"I don't mind that, you're home, now sleep a while we'll talk in the morning."

"Yes ma'am." He kissed her nose before she lay back down, and then closed his eyes quickly falling into sleep.

* * *

Joseph woke in bliss, the softest mouth imaginable was caressing his chest, a hand he knew so well skilfully teasing his lower body. In some respects this was the perfect way to begin the day together, making love, in another it just confused issues. In the cabin they'd made such plans, somehow those plans seemed to have been ignored and as time went on the gulf that was initially forming between them was now wider than ever.

Apart from now that was. When they were like this, alone, together, not thinking about another soul in the world. Everything was perfect. He'd not even opened his eyes, not even seen her face yet, but it was all perfect. The feel of her. The smell of her. The wonderful sweet desire already pulsing through his body. They fit together so well, their bodies hungered for the other, wanted to love… oh how he wanted to show her his love. To convince her of his love, to make her realise this was forever and would always be… why couldn't things be that simple?

He felt her hand slide into his and instinctively folded his fingers with hers, lifting her hand up to his mouth and kissing it. He heard her giggle and move on top of him, bringing her face to his. She was staring at him, waiting for him to wake and acknowledge her presence. He played along for a few seconds more, teasing her, feigning sleep. Her fingertips were sliding along his beard, her thumb touched his lower lip, he flicked his tongue out to catch it.

He felt her hair brush his forehead as her nose touched his, felt her breath warm against his skin.

"Joseph…" she whispered. "Wake up."

He groaned, slid his arm around her back then trailed his hand down her top until he reached the hem and felt her skin, he patted her backside and she wiggled against him.

"Your buttons are digging in my chest madam." He said slowly opening his eyes.

"It's your top." She smiled, taking her hands from his chest and lifting the pyjama top over her head.

He took it from her hands and threw it aside.

"Good job I left that one here then."

"Mmm," She kissed his chin, her eyes closed. "I missed you." She said gently.

"I missed you too."

She arched her neck looking down at him. "Too busy to call, too busy to miss…"

"Ahh, no, I never said that… it's your over active imagination again." He slid his hands up her naked back, loving the feel of her smooth skin against his chest, her breasts full and heavy against him.

One hand rose to her face and tucked her hair behind her ear, caressed down her cheek to her wonderful mouth.

"You look amazingly beautiful this morning."

"I slept well." She nipped his fingers with her teeth. "Besides its Sunday, and you're home, a nice lazy day together."

"Hmm. Do you have plans?"

"None that go further than this."

"What time is it?"

"Still early, about 7."

"And you wake me, I didn't crawl into bed until after 3."

"You can sleep more later." She kissed his mouth deliberately, pressing her lips heavily against his. "Love me." She said huskily.

"Oh I already do." Both arms went around her body, cradling her to him. "My darling."

"Mmm, say nice things to me."

"Don't I always?"

She glared at him then broke into a smile. "The majority of the time."

Her body moved up his and she kissed his forehead, he couldn't resist cupping her breast in his hand, licking her neck, so delicate and freckled. Sometimes he still couldn't believe he had left such a horrid nasty mark there, what was it, two months ago? How time passed so very quickly. All too soon it would be summer and they would be celebrating a year of marriage… an entire year and still he felt as if he were floundering in this relationship. Oh yes moments like this were all too magical and perfect, yet other times they seemed to have grown apart so very much.

He twisted her over, her legs wrapped over his welcoming him, her thighs soft and warm. Now he kissed her, with her hands trailing over his back and her tongue caressing his.

He was away so often now, and she never wished to join him. Added to that he was still somewhat scarred by the fact she'd so readily suspected him of an affair, so easy to accept he would be unfaithful to her. Her who'd he waited his entire life to find and love. Her who'd he'd watched from a distance for so many years, unattainable and uninterested, now she was his wife. The thought shot through him like a bolt of lightning, it still never failed to make his heart jump. She was his wife, his!

She moaned beneath him and he realised how heated the kissing had become, how her hips were pushing her body up to his. He pulled his mouth away from hers, looked down at her flustered face, the blush on her pale cheeks. She opened her eyes and smiled at him, the sparkle there breathtaking, the pale blue that looked through his soul.

Almost a year of marriage and his love for her continued to grow, so why was it so difficult? How could it be that his love for her was overwhelming and all consuming and yet they still argued so often, they still couldn't trust completely or depend on the other entirely or share everything. He would never admit to her that now doing this job, having this role and travelling Europe with something to say and people willing to listen, he finally felt important. He finally felt like he was making a difference. How could she accept that?

How could she understand that Joseph Romerro had grown up with little expectation in life and now he was a Sir, married to the dowager Queen and with some of the most important people in the world taking notice of him. How could he tell her that and expect her to understand that this wasn't an ego rush or a task to get him through retirement. This was now a major part of his life, just as she was.

"Joseph."

He felt her hand on his face and looked down at her.

"You seem somewhere else."

He shook his head and kissed her forehead. "No," he smiled at her. "No just considering how lucky I am."

He made love to her slowly and sensually, remembering exactly where she liked to be touched the most, whispering the words she loved to hear, saying her name in a rush of pleasure and completeness. If these months of married life had taught him anything it was that Clarisse liked to make love, in the beginning she'd been a little distant about it all, a little awkward about sharing her body with him after so many years without. But now she was passionate and adventurous, she was loving and sensuous and very often it was she who initiated their love making, just as she had that morning.

He remembered her attempts at seduction when he was so worried about his heart, the delicate garments she wore to entice him and how he had to turn away. He still had the red one, tucked away and saved for some special occasion. It was clear to him that Clarisse Renaldi had found the sexual, womanly side of her since their marriage. They couldn't resist one another, couldn't keep away from the other… it made it so damned hard for them to ever really talk an argument through. To sit and reach an agreement over something because each argument ended the same, with them making love, be it in the middle of the night when he woke her feeling terribly guilty. Or on the couch when she crawled next to him with tears in her eyes, or on the rug in front of the fire when they had shouted their voices hoarse and overcome with passion had simply fallen together then and there. It had to stop, they really needed to sit and talk their problems through not get over them with sweet instant moments of pleasure… however good they were.

* * *

Afterwards they lay tangled together whispering words of love in hushed voices; on their sides facing each other, their lips hardly ever parting, or if she dipped her head to speak he would kiss her face, her bare shoulders, the palms of her hands. Her toes tickled the bottom of his feet, and the sun was rising, it streamed beneath the door casting shadows over the floor.

"I don't want to get up yet." She said resting her head against his chest.

"Then don't, sleep."

"Mmm, that sounds good." She lifted her face slightly and kissed his throat. "Wake me to dress for dinner, family lunch."

"I know, I will."

He held her body half on top of his, listening to the sound of her breathing as it slowed and fell into a steady rhythm. He thought of what movement might be taking place elsewhere in the palace, the staff going about their duties, the chef preparing lunch, the maids putting fresh flowers in the dining room just as directed by Clarisse. Charlotte doing a thousand errands, Mo causing mayhem as he raced about eager to be let out into the fresh spring air. Come to think of it a walk might be nice.

He glanced down at the woman sleeping in his arms. There was no way she'd be ready for a walk for a couple of hours. With ease he moved her onto her side and slid out from the bed crossing to the bathroom.

When he returned a few moments later she still slept. He kissed her bare shoulder then covered her up and left the bedroom. Mo was in for a treat; Daddy would walk him this morning.

* * *

Clarisse groaned and twisted onto her side reaching across the bed for her husband, instead she found cool lifeless sheets. She opened her eyes and sighed, he was gone, either that or she'd dreamt he'd come at all last night.

She sat up and scanned the room. Damn that man! She threw his pillow at the door frustrated and more than a little angry.

* * *

_Please check out my new CJ website addy should be on my profile. x Posh_


	14. part 14

**Mixed Signals** - by _Posh_ and _Stoneygem_

**Part 14**

Joseph flipped through the pile of letters in front of him, each one signed and dated and he was almost done. He picked his coffee cup up and sipped it before grimacing and replacing it on the desk, cold coffee. He wondered how long he'd sat there and glanced over at the clock, almost a quarter to one, almost time for lunch.

The sky outside was clear and blue, practically cloudless, there was a light breeze coming through the open window and blowing the curtains. Thank goodness the weather was changing. He moved to the window and glanced over the lawns, all so perfectly manicured. He was just considering changing before lunch when his office door opened abruptly then slammed shut.

He spun round ready to admonish the culprit only to find Clarisse standing there.

"Hello dear… you look wonderful." He said scanning down her body, she wore a long very pale pink dress; it had a summery feel about it, yet she wore a cardigan to keep the chill away.

"How nice of you to notice."

There was a familiar sharpness to her voice that he'd come to know so well. He folded his hands together. "I'm guessing I've upset you somehow, or somebody has."

"Well, I thought we were spending the day together."

"We are."

"Yet I wake and you're gone."

"I took Mo for a walk, you were sleeping I thought I might as well get on with some work." He moved to the desk. "Look at this letter I received…"

"I don't care about the damned letters." She folded her arms across her chest. "The way I see it Joseph is that you didn't call me for three days because you were too busy. Then you arrive home in the middle of the night, you make love to me this morning then conveniently disappear afterwards…"

"That's hardly fair."

"Yes it is."

"No Clarisse it isn't."

"I want some attention!" She shouted

"You have all my attention." He shouted in return.

She stilled at his words and moved to the window. "You're away for so long these days, I get lonely. I just wanted to wake with you holding me."

"I'm sorry," he said gently. "I wasn't tired." He sighed and stepped towards her, placing his hands on her shoulders. "Come on, let's not argue now, its Sunday, its almost time for lunch and for once you, I and Mia are under the same roof at the same time. Let's enjoy each other's company and relax."

"I seem to spend a lot of time eating alone these days." She whispered. "We need to talk about this Joseph." She turned in his arms. "Something's not right between us, something's just not…"

"I know, we will talk I promise."

"You said that last month then you've been travelling across Europe non-stop since." She straightened his collar. "You have no time for me."

"Hey, I always have time for you, you have to understand this is important to me."

"Yes but…"

"Ah," he held his hand up. "Listen, the clock has struck one, we'll do this later, right now I want to escort you to the dining room."

"I hate all this arguing, I hate always feeling so angry with you, so frustrated."

He didn't know what to say to her, any words promising that it wouldn't always be this way would seem shallow and untrue. Who knew how long this would last, who knew how they'd dig themselves out of it? Certainly taking their time to do the things that ordinary couples did had failed, neither seemed to have the time.

Instead he settled for kissing her forehead, taking her arm and leading her to the dining room. Neither completely at ease with the situation.

* * *

After lunch Mia convinced all involved to take the time to watch an afternoon movie. Joseph sat on the couch and after a while Clarisse moved from her chair to sit next to him, she was feeling rather hazy after two glasses of wine with lunch and a small whisky as the movie began. She slipped her shoes off and lifted her legs up onto the couch, in time her body sank against his and within minutes she was asleep next to him, her head on his arm. 

He gently lifted his arm and manoeuvred her head to his chest then laid his arm over her waist.

Glancing up he smiled as Mia watched him from where she lay on the other couch.

"This a sign of age, sleeping after lunch." He said.

She giggled then returned her attention to the movie.

He looked down at Clarisse, snuggled up against him, her hand gripping his leg. How peaceful she looked. Tonight they would have to sit and discuss things properly, thoroughly. He doubted either of them would sleep as peacefully tonight.

* * *

Night fell quietly and calmly over the kingdom of Genovia, not knowing about the happiness in some of its house, unaware of the loneliness in others and blissfully ignorant of the shouts that sounded through one of the suites in the royal palace. 

If it had known about the heated argument, the night would probably have tried to hide.

"Why should I believe you, Joseph? You promised me, we would work through our problems! But I wouldn't call running all over the continent working for our marriage."

"Dammit Clarisse, how often do I have to tell you that my travels have nothing to do with our marriage."

"Oh but it has everything to do with it, Joseph. Maybe, your idea of solving our problems is by walking away from them, but things don't work this way, darling." She drew the last word out sarcastically.

Joseph only stared at her, drawing a deep breath. And then another. It wouldn't help if he lost his temper now. Mentally, he shook his head. How had this talk deteriorated so quickly? All he wanted to do was simply talk to her, ask her how she felt, what her plans were. Maybe by simply comparing their ideas they would find common ground.

But as soon as they entered their suite, she had thrown herself into his arms and started kissing him. For a second, he was completely taken aback, but reacted almost instinctively to her mouth on his. Gods, the feelings this woman evoked in him. But then her hands had fumbled with the buttons of his shirt and suddenly, reason had slammed into him.

This would lead to nothing. They had done this too often already.

Gently he had stilled her hands and pulled away. With some effort, he managed to still his breathing enough to talk. "Clarisse, no. Not now. We need to talk."

That had been the beginning. She had ripped her hands out of his, turned quickly and stalked over to the fireplace. When she had turned towards him again, he had not been able to hide his visible cringe. Anger was blazing in her eyes and her whole body language told him that this was going to be the epitome of an unpleasant marital discussion. How he hated it, when he was right.

Her angered voice shook him out of his daze. "Tell me one thing, darling, did you make this promise only to pacify me?"

His jaw tightened as she hurled yet another accusation at him. "I did not lie to you. I promised you, I would do everything for our marriage and I will do it."

She almost sneered. "By walking away from me? You are never here long enough to do anything about us."

"What do you want from me woman?" he shouted at the end of his patience. "You could have come with me on each and every trip. I asked you every single time. I asked you every bloody time, if you would accompany me. It was you who told me that you wouldn't join me. Every single time. What do you want me to do? Beg you on my knees? 'Oh please, Clarisse, come with me. Oh please, darling, oh please.'" His voice took on a mock-whiny quality during those words, but then strengthened again to a hardened tone. "What do you take me for? I am no longer some employee you can order around. I am your husband!"

"Oh are you really? Well then, 'husband', doesn't seem to me as if you are very committed to our marriage."

Her eyes widened with fear as she saw the emotions flit over his face and she shrunk back against the wall, as he closed the distance between them with a few quick and clearly angry steps. He stopped mere inches before her.

"You accuse me of not being committed to our marriage? You accuse me of…? Now that is rich, Clarisse. That is really rich."

She let out the breath she didn't realize she had been holding, when he turned away from her in shock.

"You accuse me of not being committed to our marriage. The question is, Clarisse, are you? Are you committed to our marriage?" His voice had lost its former ire. Instead, he sounded weary.

"Of course, I am." He turned again and she winced at the look in his eyes. "Really? You refuse to accompany me - even though you would have the time. You don't even ask, if I couldn't use your support during one of those trips. You are angry with me, if I don't call you, even though you know that I probably just didn't have the time or didn't want to wake you. You don't talk to me, yet the moment something doesn't go your way, you accuse me."

Running a weary hand over his face, he went over to the armchair and sat down tiredly. Clarisse's heart widened with compassion at the sight of him. But then he continued to speak and his words cut her like a knife. "We need to talk, Clarisse, desperately do we need to talk. A few weeks ago, we agreed that we needed to define our roles in this marriage. That we needed to find common ground. That we needed to learn about each other, needed to share, needed to talk. But we never do. All we ever do is stop talking and make love."

She kept silent. Knew that whatever she would say now, would come out completely wrong.

"We won't solve our problems like that Clarisse. Making love doesn't solve them."

She swallowed involuntarily. "I thought… you wanted to."

He looked up at her. "You know I do, all the time I do, I waited for so very long to be able to touch you." His voice was gentle then he glanced at the floor again and she saw his hands grip the sides of the chair. "But we can't keep doing this, fixing an argument with sex."

"Why not? Joseph I hate to argue with you, I hate being angry with you…"

"So what," he stood up again, she watched him move across the rug towards her. "So what exactly, we go to bed and suddenly everything is fine again? We wake up and it's still the same."

"No, it isn't, not for me."

"That's because you don't feel Clarisse, you don't seem able to feel anything so you think fucking will make it right again but it won't." He backed her up against the wall, his hands resting either side of her preventing her from moving. "So we're arguing now, you think if we fuck it will suddenly fix it, that I won't still feel this way… that it won't still be tearing us apart."

He shrugged. "Good, if that works then great let's get on with it." One hand moved down her dress bunching it up her legs.

She grabbed his hand and attempted to push it away. "Stop it."

"I thought this was what you wanted."

"STOP IT!" She scratched his arm and pushed him back, he backed into the coffee table and tripped hitting the floor with a thud.

Clarisse moved behind the couch and stared down at him, a hand covering her mouth as she gasped back her sobs.

He sat up slowly rubbing his head. "Sorry." He said gently. "I was trying to prove a point, I wouldn't have hurt you."

"You scared me." She mumbled attempting to breathe.

He looked over at her. "Oh my darling I'm sorry…" He shook his head closing his eyes. "How did we get to this?"

She moved back around the couch to him and knelt in front of him. "Do you need something for your head?"

"No." He looked at her tear-stained face and placed a hand softly on her cheek. "I love you Clarisse, more than I ever imagined I could love anyone. I was meant to be a permanent loner, not to fall in love with somebody like you."

"It's I who doesn't deserve you, I'm the one who's tearing us apart. I'm selfish and …"

"Shhh, we are both to blame, we have to work at this together not battling each other." He brushed his thumb over her lips. "We skipped the dating Clarisse, we skipped crossing boundaries and building a relationship together."

"I'm trying, god help me I'm trying Joseph, I want this so badly…" She was crying again and he felt his own tears threatening. "I need you, I need this marriage to work." She reached for his hand and he gladly folded his fingers with hers.

"Oh my love, we will always be together there isn't a doubt in my mind about that. But we need to start working at this now… not ignoring our problems and hoping they'll go away."

"I know."

"So, perhaps, for a while we should have separate bedrooms…"

She swallowed convulsively at this, trying to keep the tears in check. But she couldn't keep them out of her voice. "Separate bedrooms?"

His smile was gentle as he took her face in his hands. "Yes, my love. For a while. We do need the physical separation for a while, so we can concentrate on our relationship. We need to concentrate on talking and on setting the basis for our marriage. Love isn't everything, desire can't be everything - though Lord knows, I want to make love to you. Right now, if it were possible." He grinned sheepishly and she couldn't help but giving him an answering grin. "But it wouldn't be right…"

"Because it will solve nothing…" Her voice was barely above a whisper.

He nodded. "Yes. Clarisse, if we don't address and resolve our issues now, we might never do and find ourselves in exactly the same cycle again a few weeks from now."

She sighed and leaned her forehead against his. "I know. I know and I understand. But that doesn't mean that I have to like it."

Joseph chuckled. "No, it doesn't mean you have to like it."

Leaning against the back of the couch the couple sat in each other's arms for some time in silence. Each mulling over how to get through the self-induced separation and how to resolve the seemingly impassable wall between them, for the first time in weeks they were at peace with each other.

Finally, Clarisse spoke again quietly. "Joseph…this separate bedroom-thing. Does it start tonight?"

He chuckled obviously amused and she revelled in the shaking of his torso under her hands. Tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, he asked mirthfully. "You are truly full of surprises, my love. How could anybody ever believe you are a passionless woman? Sometimes I think I need to find the off switch. You are insatiable." His hand ran down her back and gave her hip a squeeze.

"I am not insatiable." Clarisse replied indignantly, but the laughter was evident in her voice as well. "I'm merely asking."

He took her face in his hands again and his serious expression gave her the answer to her question. "I see." She said in resignation. "Does it mean, we won't sleep together at all?"

His smile turned mysterious. "Can we endure it?"

There was something in his eyes, she couldn't quite read. He was serious about this physical separation, she knew that. And if she was perfectly honest with herself, she knew that he was right and they needed it. Sex didn't solve their problems. She also knew that he had not suggested it from the lack of attraction, oh certainly not, if a certain part of his body, pressed against her leg was any indication. She closed her eyes and bit her lip to keep her answering moan inside. Gods, she wanted him. Again and again. Was it possible to desire a person so much?

His strained voice broke into her musings. "I think, it would be better, if I found a place to sleep tonight. And I believe it would be better, if I found it now."

He struggled to get up and then turned and pulled her into a standing position as well.

"Do I get a kiss goodnight?"

"You are asking for trouble, you know that, don't you?"

"Maybe, but I need something to keep me warm tonight and since you won't be there to warm me."

He shook his head. "Clarisse, Clarisse…"

She leant closer and suddenly felt herself being crushed against his hard body. His lips were on hers and his tongue was demanding entrance into her mouth. She opened her lips and moaned deep in her throat when his tongue swept possessively through her mouth. She felt her knees go weak and the familiar fire travel slowly from all corners of her body to the pit of her stomach. Gods, that man could kiss.

As suddenly as he had started the kiss, he pulled away and took a few steps back. He stood there, staring at her, his chest rising and falling rapidly in obvious arousal. He raised his hand and with the tip of his finger tenderly traced her swollen lips.

She felt an aroused flush rising into her cheeks and over her décolleté. Taking a deep breath and then another, she silently prayed for him to step closer and kiss her again.

Instead, he only whispered. "Good Night, my love. Sleep well." Turned on his heel and in a flash was gone.

Clarisse stood numbly in the middle of the room, staring at the door that had closed behind her husband. She closed her eyes and heaved a deep sigh. Suddenly, the big room seemed to be even bigger than usual and the silence unbearable. This was going to be a horrible night.

* * *

Shades had to admit; afternoon rounds had something really lovely in spring. April brought the warmer season, after the long and cold winter. At two in the afternoon, even the temperatures were good. Yes, spring could be really lovely. 

Hopefully, the blossoming season would also work on the royal couple. Shades sighed. When had he become some kind of a 'Dear Abby'-person? And since when did he care so much about other people's love lives? Even though it was his former boss and mentor. The big security guard snorted. Who knew? Maybe, he only wanted some more peace and quiet. And with the couple arguing or Queen Clarisse moping around, life at the palace was certainly no fun. Shades almost wished to have those quite embarrassing surveillance tapes again, when he constantly had to watch the couple make out somewhere. Honestly, they must have tried all possible - and some impossible - places. Still, that had been a lot better than this now.

Spotting the queen's aide taking her lunch break on one of the sun-covered marble benches, he quickly went over.

"Charlotte, how are you doing on such a bright and warm Monday afternoon."

The gloomy expression on the woman's face almost made him recoil.

"What happened this time?" he asked with an unpleasant sense of foreboding.

"Separate bedrooms."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Separate bedrooms. Sir Joseph asked to have a part of his clothes brought into the other bedroom of her majesty's suite. The couple has separate bedrooms for the time being."

Shades sighed, putting his hand against his forehead. Then he let out a loud breath. "I really wish somebody would shake some sense into them. Something. Anything."

Charlotte put a calming hand on his arm. "I know. I feel the same. When her Majesty told me this morning, I only wanted to shake her. And then I wanted to go and shake him."

"Yes, and then lock them into a room and throw the key away until they have sorted their problems out."

Charlotte chuckled. "Thanks, my friend. I really needed that laugh."

Shades made a face. "And here I was trying to be serious."

She patted his arm. "I know. I need to go back."

They stood up from the bench. "Keep your eyes open."

"I will."


	15. part 15

**Mixed Signals by _Posh_ and _Stoneygem_**

**Part 15**

Clarisse swung her legs out of bed and padded barefoot towards the bathroom, she fumbled for the light switch and headed to the sink turning on the hot tap and splashing her face several times. Burying her face into a towel she sighed heavily before looking at her reflection in the mirror. The harsh light wasn't kind and she grimaced at the way the lines beneath her eyes were highlighted.

Fifteen days, that was all it had been, fifteen nights sleeping apart and she was finding it increasingly difficult to sleep alone. Not that she wasn't aware of the benefits, at the moment they were getting on better than ever. That evening alone they had dined alone, simply in their suite. Afterwards they had played chess for a while, though Joseph was far too good at it, she was sure he must have had many years sitting perfecting the art. Then they had collapsed on the couch together and watched a film, she had drifted to sleep leaning against his arm. When the film ended he took her to bed and politely and gently kissed her goodnight.

Now she couldn't sleep… again! How many times she had lay for hours staring at the ceiling imagining him doing the same just a few doors away. How many times she had argued with herself about creeping into his room. Damn this self-induced separation. It seemed to be working but it was difficult, she got so lonely… it was unbelievable. How many years had she slept alone, over thirty at least, and never once had she found loneliness the reason for insomnia. But now, now it was all she could think about. Focusing on the fact he was in the palace, in her suite, he was her husband, yet they slept apart.

She was aware the maid's were gossiping, making two beds, well it wasn't going to be easy to hide. At first it bothered her, the fact everyone knew about their private life and were dissecting it. Jumping to the conclusion that already the unexpected royal marriage was crumbling. The fact they were actually building it stronger than before never even crossed their minds.

Frustrated she threw the towel into the sink and switched the light off, flopping down onto the bed she ran a hand through her hair and groaned. This was ridiculous. Completely ridiculous.

* * *

An hour later Clarisse left her bed again. This time she crept further than the en-suite and moved deftly through the lounge, through the dining room, and to the door on the opposite side of her suite where her husband had been sleeping.

She slowly pushed the door open, stepping inside and leaning back against the frame. In the darkness she stared towards the bed, she could just make out Joseph's figure; he didn't look comfortable at all. One arm covered his face, one leg raised and the sheets pulling over his knee.

Tentatively she took the few steps towards the bed until her legs touched the edge of the mattress. She rested her hands on the sheets and still stared at him, perhaps she could just stay here a few moments and listen to the sound of his deep even breathing, comforting and so familiar. Then she could return to her own room and sleep peacefully. The seconds turned to minutes and soon she felt her legs begin to stiffen, she wiggled her toes in the carpet, afraid to breathe for fear of waking him.

After ten minutes of watching him she turned back to the door, gently resting her hand on the doorknob and slowly, very slowly, twisting it.

"Clarisse…"

His voice was barely a whisper, deep, almost weary.

She stopped and let go of the handle, turning back to him. She couldn't see his face in the dim light.

"I'm sorry I… I didn't mean to wake you." She said gently, somewhat embarrassed.

"You didn't, I was already awake."

She started then swallowed, folding her hands together. He'd been awake all the time she was watching him. Watching her watching him.

"That's even worse." She smiled.

Joseph moved up in the bed and put his leg down, moving his arm from his face and patting the empty side of the bed. She quickly moved to sit next to him.

He took hold of her hand, she sitting bolt upright leaning against the frame of the bed, he half lying next to her.

"Your hands are cold." He said, "Get in." He lifted the sheets and she slipped her legs underneath, happily settling down next to him. His arm automatically circled her waist and drew her body flush against his, kissing the top of her head.

She lifted her face to him. "I'm sorry, I know this is against the rules."

"I won't tell if you don't."

She sensed the humour in his voice and smiled. "I just need…"

"A cuddle." He interjected. "So did I." He squeezed her waist. "Ohh Clarisse this is getting difficult."

"I know." She looped her arm around his neck, turning onto her side to see his face. She traced down his face with her fingertip, circled his mouth until he nipped her finger.

Hesitantly she leant forward and pressed her lips to his, closing her eyes and melting into him. His hand rose up her back, caressing the back of her neck. The kiss deepened as her tongue encountered his and she moaned into his mouth.

"Mmm Clarisse…" he pulled back. "Not that, not yet."

"I know, I know… just a kiss," she ticked his bare chest biting back her smile. "Just kiss me for a while."

He touched her mouth. "You're too tempting."

"Hmm…" She kissed his fingers then took hold of his hand and kissed his palm and his wrist. "Ohhh all right. I'll behave." She guided his hand over her waist. "I still want my cuddle."

"I know."

Her head fell against his chest and within seconds the couple slept together.

* * *

Could there be anything more boring on a Saturday evening than hobnobbing with the upper crowd of Genovia? For the moment, Clarisse couldn't think of anything worse. If it weren't for Sebastian Motaz' birthday, she would have tried to get out of it. Joseph was only recently back from yet another trip abroad and in her mind they could have spent the evening better with a quiet dinner in their suite.

Afterwards, they could have settled down in front of the fireplace and maybe he would have told her about the trip to Edinburgh. And maybe, just maybe, they would have snuggled up on the rug and gotten themselves into a little necking session.

Clarisse sighed. She missed this so much. It had been five days, since she had visited her husband at night. Five days since they had slept in each other's embrace.

Granted, he had to leave on Tuesday, but still she had missed it. She had missed him. Period. Sometimes, it really wasn't easy to lead a busy life and be a public figure. One never had as much privacy as one wished for. Still, it was Sebastian Motaz' birthday and if anybody in the country deserved that she put her private wishes on hold for an evening then it was the prime minister. His support was simply invaluable. He had always stood up for the royal family. He had supported Amelia from her first moment as princess, he had stood by her side through the battles with parliament, he had helped immensely through the transition from one queen to the next and he had always made it known that he supported Clarisse's second marriage.

That alone granted Motaz a place in Clarisse's eternal good graces. Because of this, she could put her wishes aside for an evening. Besides, it would give her the chance to go out with Joseph by her side. If she was honest – though she would never admit it to anybody – she loved to show off her handsome husband. Yes, those comments by those so-called 'society ladies' stung, but Clarisse couldn't help but feel a possessive pride at the thought that this handsome and charming man was hers.

And she just loved to dress up for him.

However, after the dress fiasco at the opera she had decided to choose something a little more subdued and normal for tonight. Mia, as the queen, would have to shine brightest anyway and Sebastian, as the guest of honour, and of course, his wife Sheila, should be the centre of attention.

Thus Clarisse had decided upon a black sleeveless ensemble, simple yet effective, a floor length silk skirt and a fitted embroidered bodice that clung just in the right places giving her a modest yet enticing cleavage. She would wear diamonds around her neck and in her ears and that would be enough.

She really did not want to draw too much attention to herself. It was not her place tonight. Besides, if the attention was not on her, maybe Joseph and she could even enjoy themselves privately? There would be dancing and dancing of course was always a favourite of theirs. Maybe, they could even slip away into the gardens for a little walk. A walk in the balmy May night now that would be romantic. A romantic walk, twinkling stars, music from the ballroom and a few stolen kisses here and there?

But most of all, they would be together.

Clarisse sighed again, looking at the clock. She was late already. Slipping into her shoes, she quickly picked up the black chiffon wrap that she had specifically requested to go with the dress. It would serve as a coat replacement and mostly hide her cleavage. After all, she didn't want to make a spectacle out of herself again.

* * *

For an official function in Genovia this event was surprisingly enjoyable, Joseph mused two hours later. Maybe it had something to do with the jovial nature of the guest of honour. Sebastian Motaz was never somebody to be put down and his birthday function showed it.

In addition, the prime minister was also quite a knowledgeable man and a good friend. If it hadn't been for his help, he had never found his way to the board. He was proud of the work he did there. It was a good thing to do and Joseph was glad to finally make his voice heard.

On the downside however, it was a work that kept him busy at the most inopportune times. The last trip to Edinburgh certainly could not have come at a worse time. Just when Clarisse and he were making real progress. Monday night had been so beautiful. First the dinner, then chess and the movie and finally spending the night in each other's arms.

Listening to Lady Palimore droning on about this spring's weather swings, Joseph distractedly scanned the crowd for a glimpse of Clarisse. In retrospect, the trip had probably been a good idea. If the physical distance had not been there, he would have never lasted the week without breaking their deal. Spending the night in a tender embrace certainly had been beautiful, but it had done nothing for his self-control.

He would never understand, how Clarisse could be in doubt about her allure. She certainly used it to the fullest on him. Before she had come to him, he had thrashed and turned, constantly hitting the pillow in frustration. The mere thought of her being so unreachably close by, made his blood boil. How beautiful she had looked that evening, how the candles reflected in her eyes, made her hair sparkle, but most of all, enhanced her smile. Looking at her, he had been lost. Could a man drown in the beauty of his wife? He probably could.

A delighted laugh shook him out of his reverie. He would know this laugh anywhere. He shot around into the direction of the sound. Next to him, the prime minister along with Lords Blake and Jerome chuckled. Finally, barely containing their mirth, Motaz slapped him on the back, shook his head and said: "You two really have it bad. Don't you ever stop?"

Joseph barely registered the teasing, his attention entirely focused on his wife, who had laughed at a comment young Lord Deveraux had made and who was now leading her toward the dance floor.

Clarisse willingly followed the young man, but hesitated when the music changed to a Viennese Waltz. She seemed to be contemplating her options for a second and then decided to simply go with the easiest way.

The easiest way for her.

Her husband felt his jaw drop and desire swell like a tidal wave. He swallowed heavily, clenching his hands at his sides. Then he swallowed again. And then a third time. And closed his eyes.

Next to him, Sebastian Motaz muttered: "And now we all know, why they never stop."

Murmurs of agreement could be heard from the other parliament members. Mia stepped up to the group as well. "Honestly, I always forget just how beautiful she is. How does she do it? She looks absolutely stunning. Don't you agree, Joe? Joe?"

The man didn't respond. Instead, he slowly began to set one foot before the other to travel the distance between his place and the dance floor, where she was. He didn't see faces of people that he sidestepped. He didn't hear the words that were directed at him. He didn't acknowledge the waiter, who held a tray into his direction. In fact, he didn't even realize the change in music. All he saw and all he knew was the woman on the dance floor and his need to go to her, to take her into his arms and not let go for this night.

She felt his presence long before he came into her sight. She didn't need to see him or to hear him. His presence was enough.

A secretive smile flashed over her face. Maybe, just maybe, this evening she would still get what she had hoped for. She would spend the rest of the party in her husband's arms. Somehow, she knew it. They would dance, possibly even the 'Wango' as Mia had once termed it. Later they could go for a walk outside in the gardens, enjoy the faraway music, the balmy air, the twinkling stars and each other. Maybe, even steal a few kisses…

His voice sent a shiver up and down her spine, even though his words were not directed at her. "May I cut in?"

She barely registered young Lord Deveraux gracefully bowing out and stepping away from her. All she could concentrate on was the anticipation of being in her husband's arms in a few seconds.

Then he took her left hand in his, drew her closer with his other and when her body came into full contact with his, she couldn't help the delighted sigh. It felt so wonderful to be in Joseph's arms. With a smile she looked up to meet his eyes and inaudibly gasped.

Oh those eyes. How easy it was to get lost in them. How easy to be lost in the smouldering desire she could see so clearly in them. Clarisse felt goose bumps rising all over her skin and swallowed.

She didn't know what they were dancing and didn't care. All that mattered was that he pressed her even closer to his body, that she felt his heart beating against her breast, that her head was lying against his shoulder and that his mouth was close to her ear and he was whispering to her with his incredibly sexy voice.

"Did I tell you, how incredibly beautiful and sexy you look tonight, my love?"

She only smiled.

He felt it and couldn't help a smile either. "Well you do, and you make it very hard for me to be good tonight."

She pulled back slightly to look at him. "Be good tonight?"

As an answer, he pulled her even closer and let his hand slowly travel from her back down to her rear end. "Yes, you make it difficult for me to be a gentleman tonight." He growled into her ear.

She only laughed in reply.

But suddenly his mouth was on hers, kissing her passionately, showing her just how alluring she was to him.

When his tongue demanded entrance at her lips, she couldn't suppress the moan deep in her throat. Access was asked and readily given, tongues met and began a sensual dance. The couple, however, gave up every pretence of actual dancing; instead focusing entirely on the sensual encounter they were having in the middle of the dance floor, in the overcrowded ballroom of the town hall of Pyrus.


	16. part 16

**Mixed Signals by _Posh_ & _Stoneygem_**

**Part 16** - _edited_

She had never known that the route from the main doors to their suite was so long. The way up the staircase seemed to be never-ending and then, through all those hallways, until they finally reached their suite seemed endless.

Of course, the road had not gotten longer; it was her impatience that gave that impression. Oh, and impatient she was. His hand holding hers didn't help matters. She could feel her skin tingling all over, just from the simple contact.

He didn't touch her any further. In fact, he didn't even look at her, but she could feel his presence and the desire she felt for him drew her closer like a moth to the flame. She couldn't wait, she just couldn't wait.

Gods, she still couldn't believe it. She couldn't believe how they had behaved at the party. In her mind she could almost read tomorrow's headlines. Yet, she didn't feel embarrassed or ashamed.

All that had mattered was that he had kissed her. His lips on hers, his tongue sensually playing around in her mouth, his hands possessively running over her body. God, she drew a deep breath, god, how she loved that.

How she loved to sway her body against his when they were dancing or actually pretending to be dancing. Clarisse chuckled slightly; they had certainly given the assembled society an eye full.

Almost - how did Mia term it, making out in a public ballroom? Not to mention their hasty exit. People would certainly talk, knowing full well where they were going. If only they were there already.

Clarisse sighed again and involuntarily quickened her step.

A deep chuckle besides her shook her out of her musings. "Do you have urgent plans for tonight, my dear?"

She eyed him ruefully but said not one word instead focusing her attentions on the door they were approaching. The guards bowed, she hardly registered their movements. Joseph's hand was resting at the base of her back, his thumb applying a light pressure as he rubbed through the material. He was speaking with the guards, bidding them a good evening; she wished he'd hurry so they could move along.

Finally she stepped forward and in a second he was close behind her once again. They entered the darkened suite and she reached for the light switch but he stopped her, catching her hand and kissing her fingertips.

"I want to see you." She whispered as he stood in front of her kissing her forehead.

"Later." Was his only reply.

He covered her face in soft kisses, worshipping her skin, caressing her beauty with his mouth. He guided her across the room until they stood near the window, as skilful as any dance they might have performed earlier in the evening. The moonlight provided some semblance of light and she watched his face as he kissed her exposed shoulders and the nape of her neck. She tilted her head back giving him free access over her most sensitive spots, and he gladly licked his way up her neck until an involuntary moan escaped her lips.

Clarisse sat down in the bay window as Joseph's hands directed her to do so. He knelt in front of her, feeling his way down her body with his palms, she bent her head to kiss him but he avoided her mouth, too fully engrossed in his task. Skilfully his fingers slid over her shoes slipping them off in one swift movement, he felt up her calves, tickled behind her knees… she giggled and looked down at his face in the darkness.

He continued up her thighs, squeezing them, revelling in the heat radiating from her skin. He reached the top of her stockings and dipped his head to lick the exposed skin. Shivering at his touch she gladly parted her legs as he moved between her knees.

Hearing him chuckle she stared down at him a little put off.

He smiled up at her, reaching for her face. "Your skirt is too big." He said gently pushing the swathe of material up her legs.

She smiled in recognition and lifted her hands from his shoulders reaching around her back for the clasp on her dress. He sat back as she stood and watched as the dress slipped down her body, picking it up he cast it aside as if it were nothing.

"That's an expensive hand crafted gown." She said ruefully, standing in front of him.

"I don't care." He slid his hands around her thighs again. "Sit down."

"Let's go to bed."

"Not yet, I have plans…"

She shook her head. "So do I…" Yet she sat down anyway.

Finally his mouth covered hers, his hands moving over the lace of her bra, she always chose such exquisite pieces of lingerie to wear for him. His mouth continued its exploration down between her breasts, over the creamy smoothness of her skin.

She leant back against the frame of the window as he bid her to do so, his hands travelling the length of her body as his mouth once again kissed her legs.

His fingers quickly slipped along the edge of her knickers, and she lifted her body as he slid them down her legs and cast them aside. There was a burning within and she couldn't wait to have him inside her, she longed to feel him once again, to share all this love with him.

She edged even closer towards his body, at the same time putting her hands on his shoulders to pull him closer. Suddenly, the need to feel his hands on her, his mouth caressing her skin, became almost unbearable.

His hand moved up her stomach directing her to lean back and she felt his head move between her legs. Immediately she jumped up, her hand gripping his shoulder.

"Relax…" He reached up and touched her face, taking her hand and kissing it. "Let me…"

She sighed deeply as he touched her. And then coherent thought, and speech, left her.

* * *

"Ahh… my turn." She glanced down from her position on the window seat, and gladly grabbed his trousers easily pushing down his zip and reaching inside. 

He groaned and his head fell back as she watched him, such power she could have over him, it sent her crazy with need. Oh she wanted this to last all night, but right now they both needed the sweet release.

In a second she had moved from her seat and was straddling his legs, knocking him backwards until he lay on his back and she leant over him. Her usually neatly styled hair falling down and tickling his face as she kissed him.

He brushed it back smiling at her. "Clarisse darling."

"Mmm…" She continued kissing his face and neck.

"Would you mind if we erm…" He shifted beneath her lifting himself up on his elbows. "…moved?"

Somehow he managed to move from underneath her, holding her hand and bidding her to stand with him. He led her to the chaise lounge she so favoured for relaxing on.

She smiled at him coyly as she sat down. "And I thought you were leading me to bed."

"Ahh but I've been planning this…" He knelt in front of her removing his shirt completely as she watched.

"You have?"

"Hmm, fantasised about her majesty utterly relaxed on this piece of furniture…" He lay closer to her body, kissing her nipples and feeling her arch beneath him. "About making love to her on here, of having that memory permanently fixed in my mind."

She giggled running her hand over his head. "Oh you are a terrible influence on me, I'm usually such a proper lady."

"A proper lady, groping her husband in public…" He shook his head as he leant over her body.

Clarisse felt her conscience cloud at the incredible feeling of sexual headiness. The world around them disappeared completely. Only the touching of their skin existed. Not even the crashing sound nearby registered as she twisted them around and came to rest on top of him.

"Clarisse," came his breathless words, "Clarisse, darling the…"

But she paid it no heed.

"Clarisse, the coffee table."

Finally, the imploring tone of his voice registered and she raised her head from where her mouth had been busy kissing his chest to throw a careless look to the side where the small coffee table stood. Or better should have been standing. The small table that used to hold her tea no longer stood there but lay toppled over next to the chaise.

She threw a careless look at it and then turned her attention back to the man lying sprawled underneath her.

"Leave it," she breathed, "we have more…pressing matters at hand."

"And you tell me I'm a bad influence." He chuckled lightly resting his palms on her hips.

* * *

She smiled against his skin, reaching for his hand and folding her fingers with his. 

"What are you thinking?" He whispered lightly kissing her cheek.

"I'm thinking…" she kissed his shoulder before lifting her head. "Mmm, I'm thinking how incredibly happy you make me." She kissed his chin.

"A-ha."

"And how much." She shifted on top of him her mouth touching his. "Oh how very much I love you." Her smile was glorious, her skin flushed, her body radiating pleasure. "And how I want to travel anywhere with you…" she squeezed his hand. "Everywhere with you."

"Yes my love," he tenderly stroked her cheek with the tip of his finger, "to the stars and back. Every time with you."

She leant against him raising her body on his, lifting their entwined hands up as she smiled and nipped his chin. "That wasn't what I meant…"

"I know." He said gently. "You still have your stockings on."

"I was beginning to think it was a fetish of yours."

"Madam I have only one fetish…" His arms cradled her waist, holding her impossibly close to him, his skin sticking to hers, their bodies wordlessly communicating each and every second.

"A-ha. Which is?"

He smiled tilting her backwards and kissing her mouth lightly, tasting her bottom lip, tickling her tongue. "My wife." He breathed against her lips.

"I have an idea." She whispered in return.

"Does it involve moving from here?"

"Well yes, but I think you'll enjoy it."

"And what about that?"

"That?"

"The table." He indicated the fallen coffee table. "Just how much of an antique is it?"

She laughed. "I have no idea, probably not older than me."

"Ahh so not an antique at all."

"I'll take that as a compliment." She said pulling her body back from his and raising her leg, resting her foot on the chaise lounge and rolling her stocking down her leg.

He watched her intently, holding her foot as he did so.

"I'm sure it will keep until morning." She said absently eyeing the toppled table.

"I'm sure it will."

She handed him her stockings before standing up, somewhat shakily, and holding her hand out to him. "Come dear I have an idea."

"Oh how can one resist?"

"One wouldn't dare to." She teased gripping his fingers. "Oh and I think you can leave those there!"

He dropped the stockings next to the rest of their abandoned clothing and followed her through the lounge and to their bedroom.

"To bed darling?"

"Not exactly." She quipped over her shoulder as she led him into their private bathroom…

* * *

_There is an unedited version of this story - if you would like to read it please send me an email & i'll mail it along to you. xx Rhonda_


	17. part 17

Mixed Signals by _Posh_ & _Stoneygem_

Part 17

The room was in complete darkness and his hand reflexively went to the light switch, but she stopped him from turning it on. "No, my love."

Instead she went directly for one of the cabinets, opening a drawer and pulling something out. The sound of a match being lit startled him a little. But then she lit the first candle and his eyes could make out shapes and finally see what was going on.

Tea lights? She was using tea lights? He shook his head.

She looked at him quickly and a tender smile graced her features. "Would you be so kind and run a bath, my love? I think, I might be busy for a while."

He couldn't help his answering smile. When was the last time they had really been so light-hearted. He felt his heart swell at the thought.

Taking the few steps closer to the bathtub, he made it his business to pass by his wife very closely, so his body was brushing against her back. He smiled delightedly, when he felt her arching involuntarily closer. Running a hand over her arm and shoulder, he also felt goose bumps rising under his palm.

Chuckling slightly he leant closer to her and whispered. "Later, my dear."

Joseph eyed the assortment of bath salts and oils carefully. He couldn't choose just anything, somehow a bath salt or gel wasn't the right thing. It had to be an oil. Something that would allow his hands to glide over her skin. The mere thought of smoothing his hands over Clarisse's perfect skin made his member twitch in anticipation and he drew a deep breath to calm himself. No, not yet.

However, she had heard him and turned around her features suddenly full of concern. "Are you all right?"

He swallowed at the sight of her. The candles and tea lights behind her on the counter flickered, bathing her silhouette in light and shadows. To think that all of this glory was his and that she loved him. Loved him despite their arguments, despite their rocky times. Loved him so much that she even dared to embarrass herself only for him. Loved him enough to try quite risky underwear just to be sexy for him. He still couldn't believe it. The flimsy red piece of a baby doll came to his mind. Now, it was in his bag whenever he had to travel. It was a piece that had helped through more than one lonely night in a hotel bed. He would take it out of his bag and her scent would envelop him. Then he would imagine how she wore it and he would peel it off of her. It never made sleep come easier, but he would not miss those moments of fantasy for the world.

"Joseph?" He swallowed convulsively and schooled his face to a calm smile. His voice however, betrayed his turmoil with its huskiness. "Yes, dear. I am fine. Just thinking about the right bath oil."

Her smile turned a notch brighter. "Surprise me." Then she turned back to the counter to light even more candles.

Joseph had to smile at that. Surprise her? He could do that.

Eyeing his choices once again, his decision was easily made. Something warm and tender, floating, loving, a caress. Opening the bottle he took a second to savour the scent of the oil. Perfect. It would fit Clarisse so well. Seconds later, the scent of milk and honey wafted through the room.

Clarisse turned her head again and flashed him another brilliant smile. Yes, it was the perfect choice.

Another idea suddenly came to his mind and he quickly stepped out of the bath and crossed over into the living room.

Clarisse sent a questioning look after him, but it quickly turned into another smile as light classical music filled the scented air.

She just couldn't shake this smile. How long had it been that they had been so happy, so carefree? So at ease with each other? And Gods, how had she missed this. It was everything. It was so perfect. And she would hold onto this, with everything that was in her. They would hold onto this.

He was back in the room again, once again making sure to brush against her back as he passed her.

"My lady, your bath awaits."

"Why thank you kind sir." She stepped towards him and kissed his lips lightly. "We should really have Champagne."

"Erm, I don't want anybody to invade tonight, certainly not the maids."

She took hold of his hand and stepped down into the large sunken bath in the centre of the room. He had the temperature just perfect. "My mouth is dry." She said as she sank down into the water, her eyes closing at the relaxing sensation the water had on her body.

"Oh goodness you're a pain at times." He squeezed her shoulder and she listened as he exited the room.

A moment later he returned placing two glasses on the floor next to her arm. "There, ice cold water. Not champagne but it will certainly wet madam's mouth…"

She smiled up at him. "Perfect, thank you. Now get in."

He shook his head but quickly stepped down into the tub, audibly sighing as the silky water caressed his skin. She watched, arms out at her side along the edge of the tub, as he submerged himself in the water. A moment later he reappeared shaking his head and running his hand over his beard to wipe away the excess water.

"Feel better?"

"Refreshed." He said reaching across to her, his hands easily finding her waist and bringing her body to his in the middle of the tub.

"I was comfortable there, relaxing." She complained yet her arms were already draping over his shoulders. "Perhaps I should try out your way of 'refreshing'."

"Why don't you?" He was gently twirling them around in the water, almost a dance.

"The oil won't be kind to my hair."

"Then I'll rinse it for you later."

"Joseph…"

"Go on, be a rebel." He grinned.

"I've never been good underwater."

He dipped her backwards and laughed as she squealed and gripped his shoulders.

"Why you absolute…" She tried to sound harsh but a smile was already invading her face.

"Oh her majesty doesn't trust me to take care of her."

Pulling herself back up to him and rubbing her breasts against his chest she smirked. "Oh I think you take care of me well enough."

"My, my… thank you for the compliment."

"You're welcome. And I've told you not to use the 'm' word, even if it is a joke."

"Sorry my love." He kissed her forehead. "Shall I let you into a secret?"

"Please do."

"It's only good because it's with you." He whispered to her ear, kissing her cheek and then gently tugging on her earlobe with his teeth.

"Oh you're so wonderful to me…" She smiled holding his face and kissing his mouth fully. "So wonderful."

"Most of the time, we have our moments."

"We have recently." Her expression darkened. "Do you think, well, I'm not even sure we should discuss it right now."

"Then let's not, it's good just to have fun every now and then."

"True." She kissed him again, lightly, before holding onto his forearms and lying back in the water, her head just resting on the top of the water as he supported her. She closed her eyes and allowed the water to swirl around and over her body; she felt his eyes on her and was oddly comfortable under his intense gaze. In fact right then she felt  
totally content and at peace.

She hummed along with the tune in her head, spreading her arms out in the warm water, skimming her hands along the surface.

"It's not the pale moon that excites me, that thrills and delights me." She whispered gently, slowly. "It's just the nearness of you." Her voice was husky as she said the words. "It isn't your sweet conversation that brings this sensation," she opened her eyes and smiled at him. "It's just the nearness of you."

"Why thank you." He bent forward, sliding his arms further beneath her back and bringing her body back up to his, she slid her arms around his neck, nuzzling his chin with hers.

"When you're in my arms and I feel you so close to me, all my wildest dreams come true." She lifted her head and kissed him sensually.

Breathlessly he slid a hand into her hair and tilted his head back to watch her face. "You are quite the smooth talker." He said, his voice deep and heavy with emotion.

"You bring out the best in me." She shrugged smiling. "Your turn." She teased, draping her body back again, her hair just touching the water, the lower half of her body grinding against his in a slow steady rhythm.

* * *

Shaking together Clarisse felt his hands slide down her body as she moved back slightly, she was sitting on his knee now, the thought made her smile. She rested her head against his chest, her head swimming with delight, her body still floating with pleasure.

His mouth never left her skin, kissing her neck, her shoulders… she lifted her head to give him better access and felt his hand cup her breast.

"Clarisse…" he whispered. "Darling."

"Mmm, talk to me." She murmured, lifting her mouth to his, her hand touching his face, he held her so close to him. "Talk to me. Joseph…" their mouths were sticky as they kissed, their bodies melted together tenderly. "I love you."

"Oh I love you… I love you." He couldn't stop kissing her mouth, tasting her, needing to communicate all the feelings that were cursing through him. "Mi solamente amor."

"Mmm…" She kissed his face.

"Mi vida entera…"

She leant her head back smiling warmly at him. "So very sexy… sorry I mean, tan muy… erm… atractivo?"

He nodded.

"See," she breathed deeply. "I'm getting better."

"Oh I think we both are."

She laughed again, joyful and carefree and he marvelled at the sound.

Leaning against him, she sighed happily. "I could quite happily stay like this."

Joseph smiled. "A wonderful idea, my love. But I fear before long the water will be too cold."

Clarisse pouted and he chuckled at her childlike behaviour. Pushing her away slightly, he settled her against the edge of the tub and then took a bottle from a corner tray.

"Madame, I am at your service." He announced with a grand gesture, opening the bottle of shampoo. Clarisse eagerly moved forward, settling herself against him and curling a leg around his backside.

His free hand stopped her as she started to run a teasing finger over his chest. "Oh no, my love. Not yet. First things first."

Quickly he reached up and started to massage the shampoo into her dripping hair.

Tilting her head forward she closed her eyes and groaned with pleasure. "I give you about half an hour to stop that."

He chuckled again. Then he carefully dipped her back to rinse the lather out.

Keeping her eyes shut, Clarisse felt her limbs getting heavy with exhaustion. But then a sudden cold jolted her out of her daze. Opening her eyes wide she realized that the sound of splashing water meant that her husband was no longer sitting in the tub with her. Twisting her head around she also realized that he was no longer in the bathroom either.

"Joseph?" she called anxiously.

"I'm here" his voice drifted soothingly through the steam-filled room. She shot around as fast as the water permitted and couldn't help a slightly lecherous grin flitting over her face. Clad only in a towel that was loosely draped around his hips, his body still glistening from the water droplets her husband was a sight to behold. But by her alone.

"Where have you been?"

He held a glass pitcher up, ignoring the expression on Clarisse's face. Inwardly he shook his head. Once Clarisse got in the mood, she didn't stop.

The woman in question chuckled teasingly. "Seen a certain movie lately?"

He grinned back. "No. But do you care to re-enact a certain scene?"

Her smile widened. "Certainly."

"Then move over."

She did as she was bidden and settled herself against the edge of the tub. He knelt down beside her and filled the pitcher with water. Then he carefully dipped her head back and poured the water over her.

Clarisse laid her head back, her eyes closed, feeling completely secure with him. He brushed excess water away from her forehead so tenderly that she felt she could weep with love.

Repeating his actions several times, Joseph took care to remove any sign of soap. Then he put the pitcher aside and extended his hand to his wife. She laid her hand into his and supporting herself against the edge of the tub levelled herself upwards.

Guiding her carefully out of the tub, he also took a towel from a heated rail and wrapped her completely into it. Clarisse giggled slightly and leaned into his embrace. Smiling at him she said: "I feel like a small child again. So warm and secure."

He chuckled. "Like a child, huh? Well, little children have to be in bed early, so lets get you dried off."

His hands rubbed vigorously over her arms and back, moved lower to her legs and then up again, to dry off her hips and stomach and finally her shoulders. When he reached her face, he leaned forward and placed a quick kiss on her forehead. "So, child," he said teasingly, "you are done. Now don your PJ's and move under the covers. I'll bring you a glass of warm milk and if you behave, I'll even read you a bedtime story."

Clarisse laughed and laughed, helpless to stop her mirth. Gods, she felt intoxicated with pure happiness. Life was so perfect, when he was with her. So very perfect.

"I love you, Joseph." She cupped his cheek tenderly. "There are no words to describe how much I love you."

He smiled and turned his head slightly to kiss her palm. "I know. I feel it too."

Then his smile took on the teasing tone that had been evident before. "Now let me dry off so that I can tuck you into bed."

"Tuck me in. I'll give you tuck me in." She laughed again, playfully swatting his chest. Taking hold of the towel that was still dangerously loose around his hips, she slowly and sensually began to dry him, taking care to touch all the right spots.

He groaned. "Gods woman…"

"Yes?"

Suddenly, her body was crushed against his and his mouth was on hers. "You are incredible. Usted es increíble. And I love you so."

She wound her arms around his neck and snuggled closer against him. "I know."

Tightening his hold on her, Joseph closed his eyes and released a deep breath in utter contentment.

Silence began to settle over the room, but for the first time in a rather long time it was without any tension, without any underlying anger or sadness. For the first time in weeks it was an easy, comfortable silence.

He pulled back slightly and took her hand. "Lets go to bed my love."

Her response was a simple smile. Warm and brilliant, he felt his heart soaring, rejoicing in their newfound happiness.

They made their way into the bedroom slowly, not caring about anything but the feeling of their enfolded hands, the smell of the bath oil still wafting through the room they left.

He led her to the bed and pulled back the covers for her to slip in. Then he quickly went to shut off the music and returned just as fast to climb into the bed behind his wife. He pulled her close against him and settled with a happy sigh, his nose buried in her still slightly damp hair. Clarisse caught his hand that had settled on her hip and entwined her fingers with his. As she settled back against his chest he could almost hear her happy smile and a similar expression settled on his face.

The couple lay in the darkness for some time enjoying their closeness and the only sound of their relaxed breathing Suddenly, Joseph could feel Clarisse's body shaking against him.

Immediately, concern took over. "Darling, what is it?" he asked anxiously, "Darling?"

The shaking continued, but suddenly he could make out an actual sound that went with her shaking.

Clarisse couldn't help it. Try as she might, she could not stop the giggles. She didn't even know why she did it, they just burst forth. Joseph's concerned voice made it worse and another giggle started.

Twisting around, she tried again to control herself, but instead her mirth turned into full-blown laughter.

Even though, he had not the slightest idea, what was so funny, Joseph couldn't help to join into her laughter. He loved it so much when she laughed. Such a warm and joyful sound. Such an infectious sound.

Laughing with her, he searched for her eyes in the darkness. Looking at each other, their mirth finally tapered off and he pulled her tight against him. Snaking her arms around his back she returned the gesture, settling against him as close as possible.

"I love you, Clarisse."

"I love you too, Joseph."

Mere minutes later, only the sound of deep even breathing could be heard.

* * *

Hello! As you may have guessed there is a more adult version of this story... once again mail me if you'd like to read it. xxx Rhonda


	18. part 18

Mixed Signals by _Posh_ and _Stoneygem_

Part 18

The early morning sunlight was sublime_, it's a pity I don't always have the time to enjoy it_, Clarisse mused as she strolled through the garden. Sundays were always peaceful, today was no exception. She'd left Joseph sleeping in their bed, exhausted from their previous nights exertions. She on the other hand felt divinely wonderful and full of energy. Rising before 7:00 she had read for a while, showered, dressed and done a round of the gardens with Maurice. Now she headed for her private greenhouse, often a sanctuary, and joy, to her.

Collecting a spray for the roses she quite happily strolled along each row inspecting and spraying each plant individually. Perhaps she should expand on the gardening front, it had always been a hobby, now with more time on her hands it could become something more.

She was distracted from her musings by a figure leaning against the door. She spun round quickly.

"Good morning." He smiled.

"Well, good morning. Did you sleep well?"

"Ahh yes, pretty well actually." He stepped towards her. "Though I was a little saddened to find my wife had abandoned me."

Clarisse moved to meet him halfway. "She would never abandon you. She merely couldn't sleep and went for a stroll."

"A perfect morning for it." He said as he reached her.

"I agree." She stood directly in front of him still holding the spray. "Though perhaps next time you could join me."

"Perhaps, I think I'd like that…"

His mouth was getting closer to hers and she closed her eyes in anticipation of his kiss.

"Ahem…" A polite cough broke their shared moment of reverie.

"Your majesty," Charlotte acknowledged Clarisse before turning her attention to Joseph. "Sir, there's a call for you," she said glancing down at the pad in her hand. "A Mister Sagan from the committee organising the conference…"

Reluctantly Joseph turned away from Clarisse to face Charlotte.

"Well, he's up early."

"And working on a Sunday." Clarisse murmured returning to her roses.

He allowed himself a smile, especially when he noticed the sparkle in Charlotte's eyes as she watched them from her position by the door. "I'll be right there Charlotte, leave the details on my desk."

"Of course." She smiled gently before turning away and happily making her way across the garden back to the palace.

"Sooo…" Joseph sighed. "Back to work."

"Hmm." Was all Clarisse replied with as she slowly moved to water the last row of roses.

"So," Joseph slipped his arms around her waist and rested his chin on her shoulder.

"So…" She smiled twisting her head a little to accommodate him.

"Are you still happy?"

"I am." She touched his fingers with hers.

"Good." He kissed her cheek. "I'll go make this call then how about we have breakfast?"

"I'd enjoy that very much darling. And it's such a beautiful morning, let's eat on the terrace."

"A fine idea," he kissed her neck. "From a damn fine lady." He covered her neck and the side of her face with kisses.

"Joseph…" She giggled. "Stop, somebody might see."

"Let them."

She playfully swatted his arm away. "Go, I'm getting rather hungry."

He laughed giving her a quick hug before he headed back to his office.

* * *

Clarisse calmly folded the napkin in her lap and rested her hands beneath her chin as she listened to him. He seemed slightly nervous, months of treading on eggshells around each other.

"So you see, they really want me to leave today so I can start tomorrow."

"They want you to be a key figure in the proceedings?" she said watching him carefully.

"Want me to chair it." He said dropping his napkin onto the table.

She raised an eyebrow. "And?"

"And?" He queried.

"And do you want to?"

"Of course I do." He smiled reaching for her hand. "Of course I want to, it's a big deal for me."

"I know, it would a 'big deal' for anyone." She gave his hand a squeeze. "So you go, we'll postpone our lazy weekend together."

He dipped his head and kissed her hand, the way he used to when they were discreet and hid their feelings from prying eyes.

She watched him, a smile playing upon her face. He moved his chair a little closer, toying with her wedding ring.

"Come with me?"

She gasped, he hadn't asked her that in a while, she remembered their argument, when he'd told her he got bored of asking.

"Come with me," he shrugged. "Enjoy the weather, the sights, do some shopping. Time together, just the two of us, away from here… it could be good."

"I'm sure it would be." She smiled settling back in her chair.

"Yet the answer's still a no."

"I didn't say that."

"But you won't come."

She sighed gazing steadily at him, he let go of her hand and sat back in his chair.

They were silent for a while, Joseph absently staring across the table to the open terrace doors out onto the lawn. Clarisse watching him, never shifting her gaze from him.

"You're angry with me." She said gently.

He shook his head. "No, not angry."

"Frustrated then, I can't simply drop everything today Joseph, you know that, it wouldn't be fair."

"I know." He said resolutely. "You could arrange something though, perhaps fly out in a few days time." He looked across at her again, hopefully.

She shrugged. "Perhaps."

She grimaced as he heavily slid his chair back and stood up, digging his hands in his pockets and striding out onto the terrace. She recognised that stance. Giving him a few seconds she eventually got up and joined him out there.

Standing slightly behind him she rested her hand on his shoulder, he relaxed beneath her touch and she reached down for his hand.

"I'll think about it…" She whispered. "I'll think about it."

* * *

Things should be quite easy she mused, depending on the angle a person used to look at them. Subjectively, she couldn't imagine letting all work drop, leave Mia behind and go onto a trip. Subjectively, she could not imagine going somewhere being just 'Mrs. Romerro'. Subjectively, it was an impossible concept to her to go off somewhere, just because her husband had decided to do so.

Subjectively. Objectively, her husband had never demanded for her to accompany him; he had only asked if she would consider it. Objectively, Mia was doing so well as the queen and the never-ending paperwork could be delegated.

In the end, Clarisse mused sitting on a recliner in the back garden, it was an entirely subjective decision. The point of her life now was being Mrs. Romerro, was being supportive of her husband's endeavours, was being the loving and understanding wife. Supporting her chin on her fist, Clarisse stared only half seeing at Maurice once again chasing Fat Louis.

It didn't matter that she would not be the centre of attention, if she'd accompany Joseph on his next trip. She had always complained about the constant surveillance, it would be a welcome change not to be important.

Except to Joseph of course.

They were still in the process of building bridges. They had made good progress she felt, but three weeks didn't mean they were out of the woods. Building bridges meant to learn about each other, meant to share. And sharing went both ways, Clarisse had realized yesterday evening.

Yes, Joseph was once again on a trip and she didn't like the idea any better than she had done a month ago. However, last night he had called from Vienna to tell her about his day. Clarisse still had to smile thinking about the conversation. How excited he had sounded, when she had asked him about the conference. How he had launched into a lengthy, witty description of those stuffy politicians.

Admittedly, if she had really caught half of his words, she was good. She had been much too busy listening to his voice. Nevertheless, it was his last words that had given her another sleepless night. "Thank you for asking me about it. It means a lot to me to be able to tell you."

Had she never asked? Had she never tried to find out what he was really doing? Why he had become such an important man so suddenly?

Feeling shame rising, she had realized that indeed her interest in his work had been minimal so far.

That would change, she would make sure of it.

His work had become important to Joseph. And he was important to her. No, he wasn't important – he was everything.

That was the other thing she had realized last night. Once again alone in her bed, she had felt so lonely, so cold. Only two nights of their delightful togetherness and she was already unable again to stay alone at night.

She missed his warmth next to her, his lean hard body to be spooned against, his breath on her neck, his hands holding her. His scent, his voice. Oh, she missed everything about him. She simply missed… him.

Joseph had become the centre of her life, she saw it now. She couldn't bear to be without him anymore. She didn't want to.

She still did important work for the country, but so did he. From the looks of it, he was very good at his job. His occupation demanded that he'd travel extensively across the continent. If she couldn't bear to be without him so much, then she would just have to travel with him.

He had asked her numerous times to accompany him. From now on, she would do so, if possible.

Objectively seen, there were certain advantages to travelling across Europe as no more than Mrs. Romerro. Mrs. Romerro could enjoy Europe's most beautiful places without hundreds of people demanding her attention. Mrs. Romerro could do things she never had the time to do before – go sightseeing, relax, go shopping. But most of all, Mrs. Romerro would have Mr. Romerro right at her side – before his meetings, afterwards to see the sights with him, visit restaurants or simply take walks around the places; but most of all she would have him to hold her at night.

Yes, Clarisse smiled broadly, objectively seen there was only one decision to be made. Subjectively however, there was also only one decision to be made – exactly the same.

She would join Joseph on his next trip. He would attend his meetings and she would simply enjoy herself. And when he got back, she would await him to share the beauties of their destination.

Her eyes widened as a sudden idea crossed her mind. She would not wait until his next trip. The conference in Vienna was going to go on for another two days and she hadn't seen this utterly romantic town for quite some time. There were so many things she could do while he was busy. So many things they could do there together. And maybe, just maybe they could finally do something they had never done before.

Filled with sudden delighted energy, Clarisse jumped up from the recliner. Marriage was about sharing, about taking and giving. And finally, she would do some giving. She would give Joseph something he would never expect from her. Something he would hopefully enjoy…

Clarisse quickly strode towards the palace. She needed to pack. A suitcase that contained everything a woman could need for a romantic weekend with her husband. A smirk crossed her face, maybe even some of the lingerie she had not dared to wear during the last months. First on the agenda, was to have herself a flight booked, however.

After all, 'Operation Courtship' had to be properly and quickly executed.


	19. part 19

Mixed Signals by _Posh_ & _Stoneygem_

Part 19

A knot in your stomach wasn't the best feeling in the world, especially not on a plane that was about to take off. Clarisse shifted nervously in her seat fiddling with the clasp of her seatbelt. Hopefully, the other passengers in the first class cabinwouldn't recognise her and realize that she was a puddle of nervousness.

What if what she did was wrong? What if she disturbed him? What if he didn't really want her to come? What if he was angry with her for not going with him right away?

He had been right, it had been so easy to rearrange her schedule. Mia had been so happy about her plan that she would have probably cleared her diary for the next six months. It wasn't work that held her back, it was her own fear. But fear was difficult to overcome. Though she was working on it. Hopefully, it wouldn't go wrong.

'Stop it, Clarisse' she chastised herself. 'Pulling yourself down will help nothing. He asked you time and again to join him. He'll be happy, when you show up. Better late than never. He loves you, he misses you and you feel the same. It will go well.'

"Ladies and gentlemen, we are now ready for take off. Please, turn off all electronic devices, put your chairs into upright position and fasten your seatbelts. We hope you do have a pleasant flight."

'Funny, how is it that those public planes never make you feel welcome.' She mused.

As the plane to Vienna took off, the former queen settled back against the back of her chair and closed her eyes to concentrate on happy thoughts. She wasn't too eager on flying and especially detested take-off and landing. From experience she knew that happy thoughts would help her through.

Usually, over the years she had thought about… about… Gods, had there never been a time, when she had not been thinking of him in the last twenty years? Oh Joseph, how could it be - to fall so deep and so irrevocably? He was her fate, she knew this, had accepted it a long time ago. To think that she had come so close to losing it. No. No! …No! They were so perfect together and she would make sure they wouldn't lose it again.

Vienna was just the right place for it. And her suitcase contained just the right things to help along. Hopefully…

The memory came unbidden and Clarisse couldn't help but cringe at it. His anger, his incredulousness, his fury. What if he really didn't like to see her in sexy lingerie anymore? Granted she had made sure that she had no items with her that were too risky, but she knew Vienna and she would have time to shop and… Another memory came into her mind. The blood red piece, he had been so angry about. She had never found it again and she was certain the maids hadn't taken it to the laundry. Where had it gone to?

She was shaken from her reverie by the gentleman standing next to her.

"Your majesty…" he whispered bending down. "Is everything acceptable?"

She glanced up at him, straightening herself in the plush seat a little. "Yes, everything's fine."

She resisted the urge to tell him to leave her alone and not under any circumstances refer to her as 'majesty' again on the flight. She understood the need to have security; Joseph would never forgive her if she flew over alone on a public flight. Yet somehow even having the one security guard's surveillance seemed a slight invasion on her privacy, an invasion on the life that right now she wanted to side step.

"I'm fine, think I might read for a while." She smiled sweetly at him and he left her alone, returning to his seat across the aisle from her.

Ahh well, in a few hours she would be in the hotel alone with Joseph, and it was certainly an experience flying like this instead of on the official plane. Actually it was rather nice, having that freedom. Well as much freedom as one could have being royalty.

Closing her eyes she shut her mind off from the hum of chatter around her and let herself drift to sleep.

* * *

"Ladies and gentlemen, we are preparing to land. Please, turn off all electronic devices, return chairs into an upright position and fasten your seatbelts. On behalf of all the crew I'd like to thank you for flying with us today and we hope you've had a pleasant flight."

Clarisse couldn't help but smile as the captain's voice drifted into her sleep induced mind. Joseph always made fun about them, that deep gravely voice travelling over the tannoy, that self-assured importance. In fact he did a damn good impression of captain's speak when provoked.

Clipping her seatbelt together Clarisse smoothed her skirt a little and glanced down at her crossed legs. That morning when she'd dressed it had taken her three outfits before she felt content with her choice, for some unfathomable reason she found she was nervous, and quite desperate to choose an outfit that was not only comfortable to travel in but that would catch her husband's eye when he saw her. In the end she'd gone for a cream coloured dress, it finished at her knee and had a wonderful loose elegant feel about it, a skirt with a slight flair. A simple long jacket and a scarf embroidered with tiny pink flowers and she was set. She certainly hoped she didn't stand out in any way; sunglasses were the order of the day though she didn't often wear them.

She couldn't help but smile as she caught sight of her shoes, Mia had given them to her as a 'gift' several months ago and it was the first time Clarisse had actually worn them. Her granddaughter argued that Clarisse needed to "get with the fashion" and wear Jimmy Choos. Clarisse had argued she was no longer young enough to be with any fashion but had reluctantly agreed to them. As it turned out they were very comfortable and did look rather good with the dress. Yes, Joseph would be impressed she mused glancing out the window to the approaching city.

* * *

A car was waiting and within twenty minutes Clarisse found herself being ushered into the hotel. She rather hated the fuss going on about her but as always was poised and elegance itself as she shook hands and greeted staff members. The Sachar was somewhere she'd stayed before, and it always amused her that they gave her the Madame Butterfly suite.

As she stepped from the elevator she was welcomed by no other than Frances Sagan, who gleefully smiled at her and shook her hand a little too vigorously.

"Your majesty."

"Please, I'm not the Queen any longer." She smiled retrieving her hand. "Mrs. Romerro will be fine for this trip I think." She glanced around her wondering how long she would have to remain in conversation with this rather over enthusiastic gentleman.

"Well…" he grinned. "Your 'husband' is just finishing off in a meeting. Though I have informed him of your arrival."

Clarisse mentally kicked herself at his comment, it was supposed to be a surprise, a surprise she wanted to see through. Nevermind.

"Shall I escort you to your suite?"

"Actually I think I'd rather like to see the conference room, I assume that's where my husband is."

"Why yes, I believe he is."

"Thank you."

The short fellow obediently escorted her down the hallway and through a series of glass doors. She felt she had to physically restrain herself from running, honestly, a few days apart and she's this eager to see him again. Goodness.

They passed the majority of the group en route to the conference suite and Clarisse noted how several nodded to her before engaging in a little gossip as they headed away. 'Let them gossip', she thought ruefully.

As she entered the room Joseph had his back to her, looking out over the city, several well dressed gentleman remained in the room talking and she could tell from his stance he didn't fully appreciate their words.

One of them glanced up as she entered and a broad smile crossed his face. She recognised him immediately.

"Clarisse my dear…" He smiled as he moved across to her; she offered her hand which he kissed. "You look wonderful as always."

"Thank you Stephan, it's good to see you too."

Now she looked towards Joseph, he was smiling absently at her, taking in the scene, taking in her appearance.

She crossed towards him and he met her halfway, taking her hand and squeezing it as he politely kissed her cheek, they were in company after all.

"Thank you for coming." He whispered in her ear.

"Well." She smiled glancing around at the remaining group. "I'm intrigued to find out just how you gentleman are running our education system these days."

She felt his hand on the small of her back, oh how she'd missed that, as he guided her around the room and introduced her to the other members. Finally the room emptied and they were able to escape, only Frances remained and her security guard. The energetic organiser babbled on as they took the elevator to their suite and she was rather glad he wouldn't be organising anything for her!

Joseph knew how to handle him though and she was impressed by how smoothly and politely he dismissed him as they finally emerged in their suite.

Taking a deep breath Clarisse slid off her jacket as she made her way to the huge windows that looked out over the city.

"Such a beautiful day." She said gently.

She felt Joseph behind her; he took her jacket and hung it on a chair before returning to stand behind her. She turned quickly.

"Are you surprised?" She bit down on her bottom lip, somewhat nervous as it turned out.

"Wonderfully, and pleased."

"Good."

His hands rested on her bare shoulders and he tilted his head forward his lips gently brushing hers. "Darling, you look simply ravishing…" He emphasised his point by circling her waist and lifting her up, she felt her shoes slip off as she instinctively gripped his back.

"Ahh, Joseph…"

He was kissing her neck as he spun her round growling unfathomable words against her skin.

She pressed down on his shoulders, helplessly giggling. She didn't realise he would be this pleased to see her.

"Joseph, put me down."

"Mmm," he kissed her neck again though returned her feet to the floor. She felt his hands roaming over her body, hungrily taking in every inch of her.

"I guess you missed me." She smiled when he finally stopped and stroked her face with his thumb.

"Perhaps a little." He was grinning like some kind of idiot yet he couldn't help it. "I can't believe you actually came, I thought… well it doesn't matter what I thought, you're here, and simply gorgeous. Let's parade around the hotel so that I can show you off."

"Show me off, my how times have changed." She kissed his mouth, slowly and sensually, pressing her body against his. "I need a shower and a cup of tea."

"In that order?"

"Yes, you know I hate to fly."

"I know. You go take your shower and I'll order tea."

"Oh, I was rather hoping that…" She loosened his tie slipping it off. "That Mr. Romerro would wash my back."

"Oh you were… well what if Mr. Romerro has already showered once today?"

"Then I think he should indulge his wife's whims. It will prove very beneficial to him."

"Well, I've never known you to be wrong."

She kissed his nose. "That's because I never am. Now, come along dear…"

* * *

"I'd like to cover you in ice-cream and lick it off." Joseph whispered in Clarisse's ear as they stood beneath the hot water. "Lick each inch of you until you're moaning my name."

"Any specific taste you would prefer, dear?"

"Can't go wrong with Vanilla, the expensive kind though, pure... nothing less for your skin." He nipped her ear loving how she giggled and moved against him.

"Vanilla? A bit boring don't you think?" She replied breathlessly, pulling his hands forward so that his body rested closer against hers.

"Oh I'd make it interesting..." he mumbled as she rubbed her body against his. "Mmm, you smell so good." He buried his face in her hair. "And feel so good." Her hand folded with his and he rested his chin on her shoulder. "Thank you."

She turned her head slightly, feeling his breath against her cheek and the corner of her mouth. Such a simple thing and yet it was the most glorious feeling in the world. "For what?"

"Coming here to be with me."

"How could I not?" She turned in his arms and cupped his cheek. "I missed you. Joseph, I don't know, I just missed you so much. I felt as if I could not stand another day without you, so I came here."

"I'm glad..." He kissed her forehead. "Oh Clarisse, these past few months..."

She shook her head, placing a finger on his lips to silence him. "Don't say it. I know how close we were to lose ourselves. To lose us." She moved suggestively against him and smiled. "But I realized something along the way and you better realize this now: You are stuck with me. For better or for worse. I won't let you go. Ever!"

"Well..." he sucked in a breath as he folded his arms around her. "I guess that's something I'm just going to have to get used to."

She laughed at that. "You better do so." Leaning forward she caught his mouth in a tender kiss that quickly grow more and more heated. Getting lost in the feelings swirling through her body as his hands roamed over her skin, it took her a while until a beeping sound registered.

Joseph barely registered Clarisse's voice, saying his name, repeating his name. How he loved to hear that... the way she would moan his name urging him on... her hands were pressing against his shoulders, actually she was being rather forceful.

"Joseph. Joseph! Somebody is at the door."

"Oh not now, not now…" He devoured her mouth again a hand cupping her breast.

She arched into his hands, a low keening sound escaping her. Yet, the beeping sound resounded again through the room and this time she just couldn't ignore it. "Oh bother!"

Joseph felt her palms against his chest pushing him back from her. "Don't stop now, Clarisse…" he implored as she reached for a towel.

She grimaced in disappointment. "I wish I could." She placed a finger on his lips. "But somebody desperately wants to talk to you. You are the important person here." Her voice took on a teasing tone. "I am just a tourist."

"Mmm, well, perhaps people should understand that a man needs to make love to his wife every now and then. Whether he's important or not." He reluctantly stepped out of the shower and took the robe she handed him.

"Somehow I doubt this Mr. Sagan will ever find himself in such a situation." She chuckled as she reached for the other robe.

"I'm not sure his boyfriend would agree."

Clarisse couldn't help but burst out laughing. "His boyfriend?" she asked incredulously.

"My dear you must learn to be more astute, it's blatantly obvious. Now, am I sufficiently covered up to greet him without blushing?"

"Who would blush? You or him?"

"Ha, you're funny, did anyone ever tell you that." He kissed her cheek watching as she wrapped an extra large towel around herself. "Don't go anywhere."

She gave him a cheeky grin. "Too bad. I actually planned to go down to the souvenir shop just now. I am a tourist after all. I need to prove I was here."

"Save it for tomorrow, I have back to back meetings." He quipped as he exited the bathroom and headed through the suite to answer the insistent knocking.

Clarisse chuckled after the door had closed behind him. Then with a sigh she turned around and stared at her reflection in the slightly steamy mirror.

She wiped the surface of the mirror clean and stared at herself resting her hands on the marbled top. She was practically glowing. She noticed Joseph standing behind her.

"Something wrong dear?" He said as he touched her shoulder.

"Wrong?" A tremulous smile crossed her face. "Wrong?" She slowly turned and too a step closer to him. He looked at her with concern. She ran a fingertip over his profile and finally launched herself into his arms. "No," she breathed, "everything is just so perfect."

"Ohh." He caught her body, somewhat off guard, and returned her hug. "Well I'm afraid I'm going to have to ruin the perfect moment. It seems a hastily arranged dinner is in order…" he pulled back slightly to look at her face. "I do believe the official word is so you can meet everybody. Though personally I think it's because they all wish to flirt with you."

Her smile was still watery, but it brightened nonetheless. "Well, they will have no success. I intend to flirt with only one man tonight."

"And he intends to make the most of it and show you off... so best dress sweetheart."

"Best dress?" Clarisse raised an eyebrow. "Joseph, you do remember what they say, right? Careful what you wish for..."

He lifted her chin with his finger. "One wish was already granted today… I can't tell you how glad I am to have you here, I'll fix my schedule so we have as much time together as possible, we'll do whatever you want, I'll even give in to shopping."

She just couldn't resist the slightly evil grin that crossed her features at his promise. Going shopping with her? She could see, he already knew he would regret it, but right now it didn't matter. Nothing mattered. They were together. In this glorious town and without the usual scrutiny. They could do whatever they want. "I'd love to," she said hugging him close.

Pulling back again she shot him a questioning look. "Do we a have a little time for a short walk before the dinner? It's so nice out there and the city so beautiful..."

"As long as you put that wonderful dress back on I'll walk anywhere with you."

* * *

The late afternoon was indeed glorious. The sun was still high up in the sky, but the red-golden hues it cast over the roofs of the inner city already spoke of the quickly approaching nightfall. The air was balmy and filled with chatter of the many tourists meandering through the cobblestone streets of Vienna's inner city.

Nobody took notice of the couple strolling arm in arm along the _Graben_, and if they did then only to notice how handsome a couple they were. The woman in a cream-coloured dress with a matching cardigan, the man in a tailored suit though sans the tie and with the jacket hanging from his free arm. To the close observer they looked familiar, despite their sunglasses, yet their most obvious feature was the happiness they exuded.

"I never realized how free one could feel even among so many other people." She said with a happy sigh. "It is wonderful."

He smiled broadly at her and leaned over to place a quick kiss on her nose. "It is because we are alone with ourselves here. Nobody cares who we are. It's just us. And right now, this is the most beautiful place on earth."

"And to think that you don't like this town." She teased gently, squeezing his hand affectionately, while she turned to take a closer look at the "_Pestsäule_"

She was right about that. It wasn't their first trip to Vienna. Clarisse being the opera lover she was and generally being a queen and thus a celebrity had visited the Austrian capital on a regular basis. For Joseph, being her head of security, those trips always had been a nightmare. Vienna was a nightmare.

Old, medieval, morbid – the town was horrendous for any security man. Those narrow cobblestone streets, constantly full of tourists and cars and carriages. So many niches, nooks and crannies that had to be taken into account for one single venture outside the hotel. The "Sachar" itself was a security nightmare. Narrow flights of stairs, constantly overcrowded, a celebrity itself. He had certainly disliked this town on earlier visits. However, since he was no longer a security man, but could actually enjoy all the luxuries and beauties this place had to offer…

Her gentle, happy voice shook him out of his musings. "Joseph, where are you?"

He smiled at her and with sudden giddiness coming over him; he swept her into his arms and whirled her around, not caring about the many people who might be watching them.

She laughed; delighted and happy, it made his heart soar every time.

"Put me down." She demanded laughing. He only held her tighter and whirled her around faster, being caught in the moment and the momentum. "Joseph, please stop, I'm getting dizzy."

That stopped him and he slowly put her down again, still holding her tightly against him.

She looked into his eyes, so full of love and happiness, while he got lost in the sparkle of utter bliss in hers. "You are crazy." She whispered against his lips before kissing him gently.

"Yes," he whispered back, "crazy with happiness. Gods, I never thought we would have this again."

Leaning her forehead against his, she whispered: "I never thought, I would ever have this."

He cupped her cheek lovingly. "Oh Clarisse, I love you so much. _Te quiero mucho. Usted es mi vida, mi amor, mi diosa, mi toda. Usted está por todas partes - en mi mente, en mi corazón, en mi sueño, uniforme en mis pesadillas. Entonces me atierro que despierto y le van. Que tengo que vivir mi vida sin usted _" He didn't even realize that he had slipped into his native tongue. His heart was quelling over and he just had to tell her all that was running through his mind.

Tears began to gather in her eyes at his words and she put her hands on his face and pulled him close for a passionate kiss. Putting all the love, all the passion she had for him into this kiss, the embrace quickly became heated. Responding to her insistent touch his arms around her back pulled her tighter against him as they lost themselves in their love.

People were walking by smiling at the couple so oblivious to the fact that they were standing on a crowded street, between throngs of passers-by. Oblivious to the clicking camera capturing their happiness for good money. Oblivious to the young street musician, who came closer and started to sing a love song from an operetta. Oblivious to the time passing by.

Only the desperate need for breath finally pulled them apart. He tenderly wiped away the traces of a tear that had fallen down her cheek, as they smiled at each other brilliantly.

Applause behind them returned them to the real world. Slightly embarrassed they turned around for the source of the clapping and found themselves surrounded by a few smiling people and a young man singing the final notes of a love song, all of them applauding them.

Clarisse stared at the people in bewilderment, then realization hit. With a groan she buried her face in Joseph's chest, feeling his chest rumble as he chuckled. Burying his face in her hair, he tried to hide his blush. So much for not being the centre of attention.

Her face an interesting shade of crimson, Clarisse peeked out from her hiding place. But all she could see where those indulgent smiles on the faces of those people. "I guess we better leave, or they'll think the show is going to have an encore." she whispered.

Joseph only snorted, but obediently followed as she took his hand and dragged him away from the crowd. Before they were out of reach they could hear the young singer intone: "Die Liebe, die Liebe ist eine Himmelsmacht"

She only squeezed her eyes shut at the well-deserved pun. Hopefully, nobody had recognised them, otherwise they would never hear the end of it. Mia would have the time of her life teasing them.

"Clarisse, darling, where are we going?" his voice interrupted her reverie. Turning around she gave him a tender smile, then she turned back and pointed to the gigantic cathedral. "There."

Inside the dome, it was eerily quiet. Not even the masses of tourists could disturb the quietness this house of God commanded. Evening mass was just beginning and Clarisse dragged him into one of the back pews. The priest spoke the first prayer and Joseph saw with some surprise, how his wife joined in earnestly. She had never been one for openly displayed faith. As a matter of fact, he knew that her faith wasn't too deeply rooted. She had not been raised that way and in later years it had only come partially. She believed, he knew. She followed the necessary rules, yes, but to go into a church in a foreign place to participate in a mass – this was unusual.

When the priest began his sermon, he leaned over and asked in a whisper: "Darling, why are we here?"

She smiled at him. "Darling, this is the one church in the world that always makes me want to pray. I don't know why, but every time, I go in here, I just want to pray. It is so beautiful here. And today I felt like I must pray, to thank for being here with you. For having you. And for having your love. There is no better place to do it."

What could he say, she was right. Putting an arm around her shoulder, he kissed her temple and decided to simply enjoy the quiet and peace.

As they exited St. Stephen, the beginning of dusk was settling, tinting the town in the slightly morbid atmosphere it was known for. Checking his watch, Joseph realized that they would have to hurry, if they wanted to make it to the dinner on time.

Leaning against him, Clarisse heaved a sigh as she caught his gesture. "Do we have to go back already?"

He kissed her temple again, tightening his hold on her shoulders. "I'm afraid so. We still have to change and since I told you, you should wear your best dress, I believe we will have to hurry actually to be punctual."

She looked up at him, a teasing glint in her eyes. "Does that mean, I take too long getting ready? And that we are always late because of me?"

Of course, he heard the challenging tone in her voice, but knowing she wasn't serious, he chose to ignore the challenge and rather steer their steps towards their hotel again.

Even though the sun was no longer shining on them, the air was still balmy, though much cooler. The illumination now came from the streetlights rather than the reflection of the sun. Still there were many people meandering through the streets, doing some last minute shopping before the stores would close, or heading towards dinner places or dates.

Vienna's inner city gave the impression of a relaxed, laidback summer spot and Joseph couldn't help but revel in. He knew there were perfect days and he had had some of those over the last months, but if he was honest, the last few hours had been life in its utter perfection…


	20. part 20

Mixed Signals by _Posh_ & _Stoneygem_

Part 20

For formal occasions Clarisse was usually bound by the expectations of a ball gown, not that she minded really. It wasn't every woman who got the opportunity to dress in such fabulous gowns or wear the most luxurious jewels. Yet for the evening's meal there was a part of her that found simple pleasure in the simplicity of her outfit.

It was a new dress; Clarisse had never had the time to pay particular attention to the clothes that were purchased for her. Her dresser knew her likes and dislikes by now and as such her wardrobe was always suitably 'stocked'. Since her attitude to fashion had altered somewhat since her marriage and the arrival of her granddaughter in the palace this evening's dress was suitably 'modern' whilst maintaining that flattering look. She was after all no spring chicken, a fact often brought home to her when she slipped out of those heavy ball gowns and found her entire body ached from carrying the sheer weight of silk around with her. Nevermind dancing in it…

She admired herself in the mirror, turned sideways and took in the shape of her figure. Her stomach protruded a little too much for her liking but her wrap would cover that. She would also usually go for a long dress yet this one finished just on her knee, Joseph always commented on how perfect her legs were and how he wanted to… well it wasn't the time for those thoughts, she had an entire evening to get through.

Black was slimming, the dainty silver pattern enough to draw her away from being dull, and the light material skimmed her body. Beneath she wore stockings and lacy black underwear, which would no doubt please her husband later. Oh the relief… she turned again and glanced at her face, running her hand up her neck and patting her cheeks. To have him back completely, after all they'd been through recently. His health fears, how could he ever hide that away from her? How could he ever possibly think of facing something like that alone, without her support?

All the arguments and misunderstandings, all the night's spent sleeping apart, he on the couch or in the other room. All the arguments, the shouting, the hurtful things they'd said to each other, the time's he turned away and unintentionally shattered her resolve. Almost broken her heart. Yet they were here together, and right now it felt better than it ever had. Perhaps he was right, perhaps it was simply a case of learning about each other fully; they had never dated after all. Flirted yes, danced, supported, talked for hours on end about everything and nothing. But dated – properly – never. Maybe they needed that.

It was becoming clear to her that this educational role that Joseph had taken was no longer simply a pastime, and she felt ashamed at the fact she'd ever thought it was simply a ruse. Selfishly she'd imagined she was all he needed, that he would be content forever to follow her around and be that constant support and security. He was more than that, there was so much more to him, so much to give to others not just her. So much intelligence that hadn't been tapped into… Clarisse shook her head trying to shake the feeling of guilt that rushed through her. He deserved this; from now on she would support him in this. As much as she possibly could.

The object of her musings watched her from his position by the bathroom door, leaning against the frame fiddling with his tie.

"Something on your mind?" He whispered.

She didn't even turn, simply smiled at his reflection in the mirror.

"No, just, reflecting…"

"Ah, anything I should be aware of?" He stepped towards her taking her wrap from the bed and placing it gently on her shoulders.

"Not just yet." She said lightly feeling his warm breath on her neck, his lips danced on her skin for a second. She reached up to where his hand rested on her shoulder and folded her fingers with his.

"Well, is this suitable do we think?"

"Oh I think so… nice shoes." He grinned eyeing her high heels. "Is that another input from Miss. Amelia?"

She turned in his arms, linking her hands around his neck. "Scared I'll tower over you?" She teased.

"Not at all." He emphasised his point by standing on his tiptoes.

She laughed and he smiled at her joy. Tightening his hold on her he kissed her smiling face.

Settling against him Clarisse breathed deeply. "Joseph…" She touched his face. "Joseph, we are going to be okay." She said suddenly, sincerely.

"I always told you we'd find a way together."

"And I of course never doubted it."

"I should hope not." He kissed her forehead soothingly.

"You think we still have a way to go?" She asked hesitantly.

He smiled gently at her, brushing her hair with his fingertips. "We've made a pretty decent start I'd say."

She didn't reply, only nodded at his words, kept her eyes fixed on his, he was right of course she would be foolish to think that in two weeks they had fixed everything that was wrong. But they would, in time they would. She had no doubt of that.

"So beautiful." He proclaimed dropping his arms from her body and formally offering her his arm. "Shall I escort you to dinner?"

"Oh dear." She replied taking his arm. "I do believe I'm escorting you."

* * *

Clarisse awoke lazily, something just outside her dreams invading and dragging her back from imagination to reality. She stretched her arms across the bed reaching for his body but instead found an empty space, sighing she opened her eyes and glanced to her side. A neatly made side of the bed, a perfectly angled pillow, so Joseph. She couldn't help but smile.

Returning to her back she closed her eyes again deciding to awake slowly, leisurely. Her mind was working through the morning's tasks, where Joseph might be now, that she should call Mia and wish her luck for her meeting, that she had so much time on her hands today, had drunken so much red wine last night, and oh it was raining. It was raining. It was the sound of the rain that had awoken her.

Smiling she listened to the sweet sound of it, pattering against the French doors, people complained about the rain yet a part of her had always adored it. As a child she would often go out deliberately and walk in it, simply so she could return home and sit in front of the fire to dry. She loved the smell of it, the freshness, how it scented her hair. Times had changed though and it had never really been appropriate for the Queen to walk in the rain, as much as she might enjoy it.

The phone rang next to her jolting her out of her reverie and she absently reached for it.

"Good morning…" A deep voice swam along the line to her.

She settled back into the luxury of the bed and almost melted into the receiver. "Good morning." She felt her face break into a smile just thinking about him. "Where are you?"

"I've snuck out of a meeting to ask you the same thing, I'm sorry I had to leave early."

"That's fine, I'm still in bed having only just awoken… being a lady of leisure."

"Ahh, and does the lady enjoy being of a leisure disposition?"

"The lady most certainly does and I think, just between you and I, that she might get used to it."

She heard him laugh then whisper huskily. "Perhaps the lady wouldn't mind sharing those mornings of leisure with her husband at some point."

"Oh but then they take on quite a different meaning in terms of being a 'leisure activity.'"

He laughed again then hushed himself, she realised he probably wasn't alone. "Not fair." He said gently. "Listen I'm hoping this will be over for 2:00, would you like to have a late lunch with me?"

"I can think of nothing better."

"Good." She could almost see his smile. "Good, then I'll see you later, you could always come down here if you like, pretty mundane stuff though."

"Are you being important?" She teased.

"Not really, delivering a few lines later, nothing much. Don't worry if the lady has more exciting things on her agenda."

Now Clarisse laughed, well, rather giggled.

"See you soon." He said.

"Yes."

"Okay. Goodbye."

"Goodbye." She whispered in response waiting for him to put the phone down.

"Joseph…" She smiled after a few seconds.

"I know, goodbye."

"Bye."

Replacing the receiver Clarisse regretfully dragged herself out of bed; it would do no good to lie there thinking about him. Pulling on her robe she wandered to the doors and unlocked one, peeking out at the view. Summer rain, light and fresh, wonderful. She took a deep breath and when fully refreshed closed the door and decided to order something for breakfast. Yes, this morning she would remain in the suite reading the papers, making a few calls, and generally enjoying some relaxation. _Ohh perhaps she'd even arrange to have a massage later._ The idea cheered her on and she headed for a quick shower.

* * *

After indulging herself for the majority of the morning Clarisse decided she would after all call into the conference room and 'spy' on her husband. She was feeling rather good about herself truth be told, she'd been utterly pampered that morning and for once she didn't mind at all being fussed over. After a lengthy, and rather satisfying, massage she'd lounged in the private Jacuzzi for as long as she possibly could before her skin complained. She had her nails done, her hair, her make-up, in fact she was pressed to recall a time when her body had received so much attention from somebody other than her husband.

Now her heels clicked on the polished wooden floor as she made her way to the conference room. Actually she felt rather proud of herself, her outfit was the perfect mix of holiday chic yet reserved conservatism. A gold embroidered cream skirt, a caramel camisole and a matching cardigan to cover her bare arms topped off with relatively flat sandals. Yes, she'd done rather well, Mia would be proud.

Nearing the conference room she slowed as she heard Joseph's distinct voice. She didn't wish him to see her, not yet; she wanted to listen as any other in that group.

She was thankful that they had moved this meeting to the hotel's conference room. Being so old, it had so many pillars that she would easily find a hiding spot. The door was not completely closed and carefully she pushed the handle down and slipped into the room.

His voice filled the conference room completely and from the very first moment Clarisse felt compelled to listen attentively to what he was saying.

"Education provides the biggest capital we can give our descendants. If they are able to make a proper living of their own, then we'll have successful people, who are able to give back what they received."

While he continued speaking Clarisse felt herself being mesmerized. He had his audience completely in hand. From her own experiences of public speaking, she could judge the quality of a presentation fairly quickly and she had to admit one thing – he was good. Very good. The speech was well conceived and written. The delivery was excellent. The audience listened with rapt attention. He was the born speaker.

It was not only the speech itself however; he had something to say and he stood for it with all he was. It was fascinating. It was impressive. He was impressive. And she felt a surge of incredible pride course through her. This was her husband. Her husband, who held the attention of all those politicians. Her husband, who conducted this meeting – easing tempers, mediating conflicts, putting in opinions, found solutions and made them heard….

"Impressive that man, I'd say." She could hear the slightly snotty voice of a man on the other side of the pillar. "Didn't think he had it in him."

"What do you mean?" another voice, which she could identify as Jacob's, joined in.

"Well, I didn't really expect the guy to be such an asset. You know, what do you expect from a 'queen's consort'. It's a bed-warmer after all. But that one is clever. And he knows how to do things."

Jacob snorted. "Could have told you that the very first moment. She didn't marry just anybody. She married HIM."

"You know him well?"

"I had dealings with him, before they got married, mostly through my dealings with Her Majesty. That man always knew what was going on. He's an intelligent and educated man. And he picked up on quite a lot of things during his career. When I heard that he was interested in joining our cause I knew we had a winner. And you could see it last night and today – he IS a winner."

The snotty man sounded surprised. "What do you mean? I wasn't at the dinner last night."

Jacob chuckled. "Boy did you miss out. They conquered the whole room. His expertise and her charms, it's lethal. They had the whole room eating out of their hands."

"Her Majesty is here?"

"Duh, yes, arrived yesterday. Didn't you see the papers this morning? Yes, she's here and since she is, he took the congregation by storm. Too bad she isn't here just now. I'd pay good money for that display."

The enthusiastic clapping swallowed Jacob's explanation for which display he would pay 'good money' and Clarisse was glad about it. Taking a deep breath she decided not to see this as yet another pun from 'society'.

What had they done last night at the dinner? Nothing. Merely sat through it, made polite conversation and smiled and secretly wished they could find an excuse to leave early. But what difference did it make if she was here in the room or not? What difference did it make that she was in town? Of course it made one to their marriage. Being here she wanted to show him her support and she did, but…did it show for others to see? Did it really make such a difference that Mrs. Romerro was here to stand beside her husband?

Such things had been part of her job as queen, being the wife of a king. Only then, she had had no choice in the matter. This time she did it of her own free will.

And therein lay the whole difference.

She understood that now. Joseph was no 'queen's consort'. He never was and he would never be. She didn't want him to be one. No, he was an important man of his own right. She would make sure that people understood that. He did a very important job in those international conferences and she would finally put her selfishness away and be his wife in all aspects.

Coming back to reality, Clarisse strained to catch a glimpse of her husband. Many people surrounded him, chatting animatedly, congratulating him on his success. Yes, she thought with a proud smile, it was a success because Joseph had put his mind and his heart to it and made this conference a success.

Somewhere, she heard the word 'celebration' shouted. Saw many heads nod in agreement and suddenly, a perfect idea crossed her mind.

A celebration. Oh yes, definitely. A celebration he would never forget.

She quickly stepped out of the conference room, careful not to be seen.

Outside in the hallway, she took a deep breath. And released it. And then she listened. The Sacher often had very quiet background music playing. It was always the same. Strauss of course – what else was there to be expected in Vienna? Her eyes went wide as the wheels in her mind began to turn. She had once heard about…but how to organize this so quickly…and whom to ask first…and how to make sure he came there without knowing what would greet him…

* * *

**  
**

Joseph wandered down the lengthy corridors towards his, their, suite. He was finished for the day, how many times had he been away on some conference and loneliness awaited him in his room? Not this week though. Just the thought of her being there brought a skip to his step and it took all his restraints not to race down the corridors.

He tried to steal his mind away from the walk by ripping open the note in his hand, Frances had handed it to him as he left the room and he'd all but forgotten about it. Unfolding it he held it back a little, squinting at the words, he recognised the handwriting immediately. Clarisse.

_"My darling, I thought we'd have a little fun before lunch…" _

He couldn't stifle the laughter that came unbounded from him; she was certainly never dull, never for one second. He felt a sudden jolt of sweet pleasure swim through him, and he wanted her right then and there. Just to hold her body to his, to dance with her, to smell her and drown in her.

Nodding to the security on the door he made his way into their suite.

"Honey I'm home." He called out smiling.

He deposited his briefcase by the door, took off his jacket and made his way through to the lounge.

"Clarisse… honey?" He looked over the flowers on the table, and the others by the phone. She'd certainly been busy. The room smelt wonderfully fresh.

"Clarisse…" He moved through to their bedroom, perhaps she hadn't even dressed today, the thought turned him on and he unbuttoned his shirt as he eagerly approached the room.

The drapes were open as were the French doors, a light breeze circled his face and the sun was shining. He moved to the balcony and gazed out over the city, the streets were still a little damp; it had rained for most of the morning. Yet the afternoon sun was making short work of drying any residual traces up.

He took a deep breath of the air, he was an outdoors man and being cooped up in a conference room all day, no matter how much he enjoyed it, took its toll.

Finally he closed the doors and turned towards the bed, Clarisse's robe lay on the chaise-lounge at the bottom of the bed, her scent lingered in the air. On the table at his side of the bed was another note; propped up against the picture he'd placed there. The picture of Clarisse he took everywhere with him.

Removing his tie and shirt he unfolded the note.

_"My dear, I'm sorry to tease I promise I will make up for it later… I wanted to arrange a little something for you, a gift. Therefore I would be very grateful if you would meet me later this afternoon. A car will collect you at 5p.m. I look forward to seeing you. With love C."_

Smiling he returned the note to the table, as he said, always surprising.

Glancing at his watch before he removed it he noted it had just past 3:00, well he could work for a while and then take a quick shower and dress for the evening. Or he could be totally languid and relax in a bath, read a book, have a glass of wine then dress and go to meet his wife… wherever that might be.

The latter option seemed a better choice and Joseph headed directly for the extravagant marbled bathroom.


	21. part 21

**Mixed Signals** by _Posh _& _Stoneygem_

**Part 21**

Early evening was warm and fragrant and Joseph chose a light pair of trousers, an open necked shirt and a jacket for later when the heat disappeared. He was ready early and decided to wander around the few select stores in the hotel lobby. It was there he found the most exquisite piece of jewellery. Something perfect, something that was made for a beautiful woman like his wife to wear. It was extravagantly expensive but he never bought her jewels, how could he compete with the crown jewels after all? But something about this piece drew him in and he wanted her to have it, for her eyes to be the only ones that complemented and shone with it.

The car was on time as expected and he was disappointed when he climbed into the backseat and found she wasn't there. Another note.

"Sit back and relax, don't irritate the driver, enjoy the journey, look forward to the destination, and enjoy the words… _I went out to the hazel wood, because a fire was in my head, and cut and peeled a hazel wand, and hooked a berry to a thread; and when white moths were on the wing, and moth-like stars were flickering out, I dropped the berry in a stream, and caught a little silver trout. _

When I had laid it on the floor I went to blow the fire aflame, But something rustled on the floor, And someone called me by my name; It had become a glimmering girl, With apple blossom in her hair, Who called me by my name and ran, And faded through the brightening air.

_Though I am old with wandering, through hollow lands and hilly lands,  
I will find out where she has gone. And kiss her lips and take her hands; and walk among long dappled grass, and pluck till time and times are done. The silver apples of the moon, the golden apples of the sun_. (_Yeats_)

He opened the car window and gazed up at the sky, perfect blue, transcendent and forever and thought of her writing that down, scribbling it down for him in her fluent curled handwriting. The sun was warm on his face, the sky would be red later, the world would continue turning and his love would go on. Theirs would. Of that he was sure now.

* * *

He started to fidget in the backseat. This drive went on for too long, yet checking his watch he realized that they were travelling for a mere ten minutes. He was simply impatient. Clarisse would probably tease him about it, but he couldn't hold in his curiosity anymore.

Leaning forward, he asked the driver. "Where are we going?"

The driver's wrinkled face broke into a broad grin. "I am in no position to tell, my Lord." He said with his typical Viennese accent.

Joseph leaned back, half in annoyance, half in amusement. It was a constant source of fun to him, how those Viennese treated people. He remembered a taxi ride once, when the driver had insisted on calling him 'Professor'. As a reply to his question he had been told that if the tip were higher, he would have been called a 'Lord'. Funny, those people.

Settling back against the seat, he felt the box in his pocket and a proud smile broke out. He really hoped she would love this. Somehow he knew she would; yet he was somewhat anxious. He had never given her jewellery before...

"We are almost there, my Lord." The driver announced and Joseph curiously looked out of the window…and frowned.

They had left the inner city and where now on one of those broad streets leading out of the city. If memory served, they were near the old imperial summer castle. What in heaven's name could she have planned there?

Finally, the limousine stopped and the driver opened the door for him. Stepping out, Joseph took in his surroundings somewhat confused. The castle complex, no doubt. What could she have in mind?

A young man with flying black hair, clad in a dark blue frockcoat, approached him. "Sir, if you follow me, the lady awaits you."

Following the young man, who wore a violin under his arm, he was beginning to become utterly amused. His interest was certainly peaked and knew already that whatever it was, it was nothing ordinary. The young man led him through the building, which he quickly identified as the Orangery. It was now a concert and dining hall, he remembered, but he could not see any customers, only musicians taking their places.

Twisting his head to take it all in, he was surprised to be led outside again. The air was balmy again after the rain, the last rays of sun warming the walls and the gravel ground.

The young man turned and with a lavish gesture pointed towards an elegantly set table.

Joseph took a deep breath. The table was set for two. Wind lights burning, elegant china and silverware, on white linen. He took another deep breath as he tried to take in the scenery. The view on the castle grounds and the castle itself was stunning, the setting sun over the formal garden. It was simply breathtaking.

Suddenly, he felt incredibly underdressed. This scenery would have demanded an elegant frockcoat. Clarisse might have chosen one of those lavish ball gowns he was so fond of seeing her in. Gods, she would look stunning and - patting the velvet box in his pocket - he would have just the thing to go with her gown and her sparkling eyes.

All of a sudden, the light strains of a romantic waltz began to play and he shot around to see the musicians having taken their seats. All except the young man, who apparently functioned as the conductor and first violin.

Slightly bemused he stood there and watched them playing. It was a lovely piece of music and he felt himself becoming somewhat lost in it. Yet, he would have known her presence anywhere. It was not clicking of the gravel under her shoes, he was certain of that. It wasn't the whiff of her perfume, for the air was heavily scented with jasmine. No, it was her aura which he could feel.

He turned around slowly, wanting to prolong the moment and for a second forgot to breathe.

She was a vision. An angel. His angel.

Her outfit had nothing glamorous - the embroidered cream skirt, a caramel cardigan and relatively flat sandals and no jewellery - yet she was as breathtaking as her brilliant smile.

He'd look probably look an idiot, he mused, but he couldn't help the silly grin happily settling on his face. She was simply perfect. And she was his.

He held his hands out to her as she drew near and she took them, giving his hands a reassuring squeeze.

"I see, you have found me." She said smiling broadly.

"Yes, I have." Came his husky reply. "Clarisse, I… I… I am speechless. This is…"

Her smile broadened even more. "Do you like it?"

"Like? It is wonderful. You are wonderful." He drew her close and embraced her tightly. Pressing a kiss to her temple, he asked. "However, I wonder, what is the occasion?"

"To celebrate the successful conclusion of the conference. Your success…"

He blushed a little at the implications of her words. "It wasn't that grand a thing. You have done that so often and it was never…"

Her index finger covered his mouth, stopping his words. "Shhh, I don't want to hear any argument. You did a wonderful job on that conference. You impressed all those stuffed-up politicians with your knowledge and your abilities." She cast her eyes down for a second and ran a finger distractedly along the lapel of his jacket. "You certainly impressed me. I was so proud of you in that conference room today. I simply wanted…"

Now it was his turn to stop her words. Tilting her chin upwards he smiled at her. "I understand. And I thank you." He pressed a tender kiss to her cheek. Then his smile became a grin. "Besides, who am I to pass up the chance to dine with the most beautiful woman in one of the most romantic settings on earth?"

The expression on her face was one of happiness and brilliance. "You've got that right, sir." Turning towards the table, she pointed towards the silver domes on their plates. "How about we start before it actually turns cold."

As if on cue they both stepped forward. Joseph held her chair out for her and after she had settled, he sat down at the table as well.

* * *

The meal was divine yet the company was better, Joseph mused as he settled back against the plush leather seats in the limousine. Clarisse was settled against his chest, not quite asleep yet not far from it. He pulled his jacket up over her shoulders and she mumbled something as her hand passed over his chest.

After dessert she had suggested they take a walk around the castle grounds, just the two of them, he had been in no mood to disagree, she had planned this evening to perfection.

The sun had long since set yet the air was still warm, her hand linked with his as they walked and she stroked his fingers. They stopped and took in the view of the city, the sky red, just beginning to darken.

"Joseph."

"Clarisse?"

"I wanted to apologise for the way I've been this year."

"Oh please don't do that… we both made so many mistakes."

"But I need to say this, I thought wrongly of you, I thought you were lying to me, cheating on me… so soon after our marriage, after all our proclamations of love…"

"But I gave you cause to think those things, for that I was wrong." He turned to face her, gripping her shoulders. "The bottom line is I love you, hell I totally adore you, I would die for you… you know that."

"Yes, I wouldn't want you to, but yes." She smiled. "I love you too, so much it scares me, I never knew this." She swallowed. "Ohh I'm getting too emotional." She kissed his mouth, once briefly, then again cupping his face.

"I have something for you." He smiled squeezing her hand and reaching to his pocket. "I know I never buy you jewels, what's the point you have hundreds?"

"Joseph." She admonished.

"Well, I wanted you to have this, I thought it was beautiful, and will suit you perfectly."

She couldn't help but smile, she bit down on her bottom lip as he handed her the box. She felt oddly excited by it, he was right she had hundreds of jewels, some the most rare in the world. Yet this was different.

Flipping open the box she gasped at the sight of the blue stones sparkling, aquamarine and diamonds, he was right, perfect.

"Oh Joseph…"

"Compliments your eyes, I thought."

Shaking her head she looked up to his face. "Thank you, it is beautiful." She pressed her mouth to his forehead and ran her hand down his arm. "You're right, I have hundreds of jewels. This one will be my most-prized, because it's the first one given to me by you."

He circled her waist with his hands. "Oh you'll make me emotional too." Kissing the top of her head he swayed his body with hers, she was so amazingly beautiful, she felt so good in his arms.

She lifted her mouth to his for one sweet delicious kiss; he stroked his thumb over her mouth.

"My wife." He whispered. "Would you like to dance?"

She only nodded in response.

* * *

They had danced for well over an hour, by the light of the moon, the orchestra at their disposal. Joseph still couldn't quite believe it; only Clarisse could pull something off like that. He rubbed her back soothingly, they were almost back at the hotel.

"Clarisse darling." He whispered kissing her head.

"Hmm…" She mumbled moving against him.

"Time to wake up, we have to walk."

"I'm tired."

"I know." He kissed her again. "Five minutes you'll be tucked up in that extraordinarily large bed."

She laughed lightly struggling to sit up. "With you."

"Yes." He brushed the hair back from her face, stroked down her neck to the diamonds sparkling at her throat. "I told you it would compliment your eyes."

"I've hardly ever known you to be wrong."

The car came to a halt and Joseph stepped out turning to help Clarisse.

"Good evening Sir." The doorman was behind him.

"Good evening Thomas and how are you?"

"I'm fine sir, beautiful evening."

"Absolutely." He squeezed Clarisse's hand as she stood next to him.

"Good evening ma'am." Thomas bowed his head in respect.

She smiled sweetly, sleepily. "Good evening."

Joseph slid his hand around her back, supporting her as they made their way into the hotel. He glanced over his shoulder. "Have a good night Thomas."

"Thank you sir."

It was a short walk to the elevator but Clarisse barely made it, if it weren't for Joseph supportive hands she would have stumbled more than once.

Once the doors closed she slumped back against the wall.

"Oh I'm too old for staying up so late."

"Ha, you say you're too old for many things, you still do them… and prove yourself wrong."

"Ah but that's the fun part."

He kissed her hand.

"How do you remember all their names?"

"Whose name?"

"The doorman."

He shrugged. "I don't know, I often wished people would remember my name when I was a mere member of the security team."

She squeezed his hand yet said nothing.

In seconds they reached their floor and as the doors opened Joseph took hold of his wife and lifted her up into his arms.

"Would madam prefer to be carried to her bed?"

"Oh how wonderful." She grinned leaning her head down on his chest.

He carried her through their suite into the sumptuous bedroom. He was right the bed was huge; they could probably fit another four people in with them, at a squash.

She was almost asleep again when he laid her down; he removed her shoes and lifted her gently as he took her cardigan off. She usually spent ages removing her make-up; tonight she would have to do without. Tomorrow she could lament it.

He rolled her stockings down her legs and mentally made a note never to have such a romantic evening with her again and return home so late. Removing stockings and not making love to her wasn't fair. Resisting the urge to smother her in kisses he quickly slid off her skirt and camisole, then her bra. He audibly groaned as he touched her breasts and lifted her again, pulling the duvet down then back up over her body.

She turned onto her side as usual, one arm curled beneath her head, he watched for a few moments as she settled before going to the adjoining bathroom. After rinsing his face Joe stared at himself in the mirror dabbing away the moisture from his skin. This was the best he'd looked in months; his skin looked healthy, the sun was obviously doing him good. His eyes were no longer so dark and worried, perhaps finally they were emerging the other side of their troubles.

He said a prayer before climbing into bed, thankful that he still had a wife to climb into bed with.

* * *

_Sorry it took a while to update - wehope you enjoyed it!_


	22. part 22

**Disclaimer: **We own nothing and nobody from _The Princess Diaries_ - we are merely having a little fun with the characters.

**Author's Note: **A purely escapist chapter - a little morning glory - of course there is an uncut version of this story, if you would like to read it either e-mail me for a copy or, in time, it will be available on my CJ website. Enjoy :-)

* * *

**Mixed Signals **by _Posh_ & _Stoneygem_

**Part 22**

Clarisse leisurely spread her arms out over the pillow. The sheets over her back slipped down and she felt the warmth of the sun caress her skin. She sighed contentedly wiggling the sheets even further down and turned her head over pressing her face into the pillow, allowing the sunlight to travel up her neck and into her hair. This was the way to wake; slowly and lazily, drifting into consciousness with no pressure or expectation upon her.

She felt his shadow cast over her, felt the dip in the side of the bed as he knelt down next to her and his fingers tapped on the nape of her neck and then travel down her spine. It felt even better than the sunlight. Where his finger had been his tongue now travelled, tantalisingly delicious, her skin tingled at his touch.

His hands gripped her hips and he leant even closer to her, kissing her neck repeatedly. She giggled and shifted beneath him.

"Stay still." He whispered.

"I want to touch you." She smiled.

"I'm counting the freckles on your back."

"Hmm…" She replied before laughing.

His kisses continued to move down her back, engrossed in his task.

"I was enjoying the feel of the sunlight." She said gently, finally opening her eyes and looking down at him over her shoulder.

He looked up her body, at the smile on her face, her enjoyment clearly evident.

"Good morning." She said.

"Good morning?" He moved over her body, allowing her to turn beneath him so he could see her face completely, "I'd say my love it's a wonderful, perfect morning."

He kissed her forehead and her hands rose over his shoulders holding him close; she lifted her mouth to his and he welcomed her kiss.

"Mmm, I'm sorry I fell to sleep last night."

"Don't apologise, it was perfect as it was." He kissed her forehead as he moved to lie next to her. "Just perfect, my little golden apple."

She laughed, taking his hand and massaging his fingers.

Side by side they lay in the quiet stillness of the room. Joseph held his wife's body close to him stroking her skin, eyes closed, fully content in the moment.

Clarisse stroked the back of his arms looking toward the balcony; the French doors were slightly ajar and the cotton curtains blew lightly in the morning breeze. From what she could see of it the sky was a perfect blue and she listened to the sound of the world outside, revelling in the simplicity of the morning, of having no immediate demands upon her.

"The birds are singing." She whispered, feeling the warmth of his body next to his.

"Mmm," he murmured next to her, kissing her head and, as she moved, her cheek.

"Are you hungry?" She kissed his mouth, his eyes were closed. "We could order breakfast, eat it out on the balcony before it gets too hot out." She folded her fingers with his. "We should have strawberries and pancakes and cream."

"And tea." He added kissing her head again.

"Ha, yes and tea." She turned in his arms to face him.

"What are your plans today?"

"Hmm I plan to be exceptionally lazy and lay in the sun with a good book and drift away. And you?"

"Ahh a meeting with the educational minister I believe."

"Marvellous, time for breakfast though?"

"Oh yes, the meeting isn't until 11:30."

"Good, and this afternoon?"

"Oh very important business." He said opening his eyes and looking up at her face as she leant over him.

"Important?"

"Yes, shopping with my wife."

"Really?" She almost squealed in delight. "Oh but you were so kind to me yesterday with the diamonds and…"

"I did promise though."

"Yes, you did I suppose." She moved on top of him. "And how do you feel right now?"

"Right now?" He folded his arms around her waist. "I feel rather good."

"Good, would you like to feel better?"

"Well, what did you have in mind?"

She kissed his mouth, then ran her fingers over his lips before tapping his chin and smiling seductively.

"Mmm, we should take more trips together, I'm rather enjoying this."

"Clarisse…" He ran his hand up her spine, "don't tease."

"Oh darling I wouldn't…" She giggled wiggling on top of him.

"Ahh, you are." He squeezed her backside. "Two can play games."

She kissed him again, exploring his mouth with her tongue, the delicious unique taste of him. When she felt his tongue touch hers she pulled back, laughing.

"Clarisse."

"Yes?" She answered demurely noting the frustration on his face.

"This isn't playing fair."

"When did I ever play fair?" She rested her hands on his shoulders and pushed herself into a sitting position, her knees resting either side of his legs.

With palms flat on his chest she brought her mouth down to his, briefly, then nipped his ear; kissed his nose, his forehead.

He groaned, his hands tracing patterns over her skin before slipping between their bodies and cupping her breasts. This time she moaned and pulled herself back far enough to grip his hands and hold them above his head.

He complained yet consented when she pouted. "Let me…"

His mouth was open, breathing deep and uneven, eyes closed, chest heaving as she moved over his body using her mouth to taste and tease his skin. He really was in wonderful shape, flat stomach, muscles toned beneath that bronzed skin. She took the time to trail her fingers over every single inch of his skin, they way he so often did to her, the way he loved her.

"Clarisse please honey…" His hands tangled in her hair massaging her scalp.

She relented and moved back up his body folding her fingers with his as their mouths finally met in a deep ardent kiss.

"Don't go out." She whispered, her mouth but an inch from his.

He groaned as she kissed him again silencing any possible response.

"Stay here with me, let's do this all day."

She giggled at his growl; at the way his strong arms curled around her waist and lifted her up, easily changing their positions in one smooth fluid movement.

"You are divine." He murmured against her mouth, sucking on her bottom lip. "You do realise…" he kissed her nose, gazed at the wonderful sparkle of her eyes. "…that we belong together."

She smiled, lopsided, her cheeks red and flushed, her arms locked around his upper back holding him tight against her. "Oh I realised that a long time ago, even when things were at there lowest I couldn't accept the possibility that we weren't made for each other's arms."

He breathed deeply, closed his eyes for the briefest of seconds. "I waited a lifetime to hear you say such things to me."

She touched his face. "Joseph…"

He dipped his head, kissed her mouth, long and luxurious kisses, he was practically shaking in her arms. Running her hand over his bare back she felt she warmth of the sunlight from the window shining on them and momentarily thought of the world outside. Here they were locked together in this blissful moment. A couple engaged in the act of lovemaking that was as natural and eternal as the turn of the tides.

She touched the back of his head, tickled his neck with her fingernails, it was time she gave herself up completely to this. She would never admit it to anyone, not even herself if she were honest, but somehow even though they were married and their love on full view she had still maintained her inner core of self-protection. She'd spent her entire life that way, it wasn't easy to break the cycle.

"Joseph…" She breathed into his mouth, her hand insistent on his shoulder as she urged him back. "I want you to know, I never would have given up… I know," she swallowed, tried to regain control of her erratic breathing. "I know I pushed you away, so many times over the years."

He brushed her hair, kissed her face repeatedly, he was so close to entering her; she raised her leg over his.

Her words were barely said, her voice faltering, their foreheads touching. "You've occupied my heart for far too long for me to simply turn my back on us."

The words stunned him. He couldn't move, he couldn't breathe. They were hanging on the edge of something, he didn't even know what. He stared at her, incapable of forming a word. This was too overwhelming. Too much.

He had no words. He had no moves.

His world had simply stopped turning with her confession.

It was she, who made it turn again. A butterfly kiss on the corner of his mouth. So light a caress he almost didn't feel it. Yet he did, just as he felt the light fluttering of her fingertips on his shoulder and his back.

Feathery caresses that became stronger and bolder by the second.

Clarisse's confidence grew just like her smile. She had said it. Told him what had been in her heart so long. It was him, always him. She was out in the open. Free now.

It was a glorious feeling. Almost as glorious as having him in her arms, feeling his weight pressing down on her, her feet scraping over the back of his legs. God that such a closeness could be possible…

Suddenly, she felt something wet splashing on her collarbone.

She didn't have to ask what it was. She felt it herself, this overwhelming, incredible happiness. The tears stung at the back of her throat as well. She knew it.

Tilting his chin so that she could look into his eyes, she saw those dark, mysterious depths brimming with moisture. He still hadn't uttered a word, his features seemed to have turned to stone, yet she knew that inside him a storm was raging, a storm to hold the emotions in check.

Smiling tenderly, she raised her hand from his shoulder to cup his cheek, while her other hand pressed down on his spine to bring his body into closer contact with hers. She needed no more words. She wanted to feel him.

Gods, he was no longer in this world. He had died and gone to heaven. And there his angel had waited for him, to love him forever. To let him love her forever. He couldn't stop the tears. He didn't want to.

Finally…

Finally…

Then he felt her hand on his back, pulling him closer. He felt her hips wiggle slightly to bring their bodies together. They were indeed made for each other's arms. Without effort, he eased into her willing body as naturally as a wave upon the surf. They needed no more guiding; their bodies knew their mate and found each other so easily as if they were indeed created to love each other alone.

It was surreal, he felt her move underneath and around him, felt her hands on his back, her legs wrapping around him, yet it was as if it wasn't a physical thing. They were floating somewhere above the real world in a realm where only their love existed.

She set the rhythm of their lovemaking, slow, easy, languid. They had all time in the world.

Finally…

At last, he found to himself again. The physical world took shape again. He became aware of her effortless breathing, deep and even, her brilliant smile, the warmth and softness of her skin and at last, he found control over his hands again.

Running a finger over her profile he bent down to kiss her smile, her eyes closed as the kiss deepened. They moved together, perfectly in tune with each other's bodies.

"Joseph…" She whispered against his ear, gripping his shoulders as she lifted her body up to his, rising and falling together. "Joseph…"

Lifting his face from her neck he murmured a response, she turned her face, their lips caressed, she was watching his face, drowning in every flit of emotion and pleasure that swam over those handsome features.

"Talk to me…"

He buried his face in her hair, pressed himself further inside her and couldn't help but smile as she moaned her satisfaction.

"My love…" He breathed gently, kissing down her face, running his hand over her stomach, up between her breasts and neck until his lips and fingers touched her mouth at the same time.

She sucked on his little finger, smiling at him, teasing. Her toes were digging into the back of his leg, he chuckled despite the heat between them, this was more than physical.

"You're extraordinary…" He kissed her neck, "incredible."

"Tell me,"

He glanced up at her face, at how she lie back on the pillows with the most divine tranquil look on her face as she watched him. She held her hand down to him, he kissed her fingers, her wrist, and moved back up to her face.

"Don't stop…" She whispered as he touched her face. Her body moved against his, eager and impatient.

"Clarisse my darling." He entered her again, smooth and complete. "I wanted you for so long."

"I've always been yours." She answered clinging to his back. "Always, dreaming you existed…"

He cried out, an odd mix of the pleasure he felt shooting through his body and the emotional core rocked at the thought they had always been drawn together, without even knowing it.

"I dreamed of you too, searched for you." She was barely aware of her words. "Tell me… oh god, I need you, always."

"I need you too." He was drowning in her, so close, wanting to give her every last shred of his being, to disappear entirely within her. "All my life…" His voice was failing, trembling. "For the rest of my life, Clarisse…"

"Oh, I love the way you say my name." Her hand rose up his neck.

"Clarisse."

Their mouths met again, the world shrank and centred between them, in their deep sweet movements. She pulled her mouth back long enough to catch her breath, to feel the swirling joy in her stomach tighten in a knot. He kissed her again, sucked on her lower lip, feeling her legs loosen around him, lift higher as she sank into the bliss.

"I love you." He whispered against her open mouth, she called his name, her eyes squeezed tight shut and he felt her body jerk against his. He buried his face in her neck, closing his eyes and allowing his own climax to spiral through him lifting him out of his body and into some tranquil sky of endless stars.

* * *

_PHEW! Enjoy that? Please let us know what you thought in a little review. And thanks to MC for borrowing the lines ;-)_


	23. part 23

**Disclaimer:** We own none of The Princess Diaries characters, we are merely using our imagination & having a little fun along the way!

* * *

**Mixed Signals**  
by _Posh_ & _Stoneygem_

**Part 23**

Her hand rubbing his back was both soothing and arousing; they were still joined, their bodies silently communicating. Her legs rubbed his; his mouth kissed her neck, her chest. Her tongue reached out and touched his shoulder; she suckled on his skin. He moved across to her breast, she lifted herself into his mouth.

"Joseph, Joseph…" She murmured the words.

He lifted his face to hers, took in her joyful flushed expression. Stroking her hair he smiled. "You look so beautiful."

Her voice was croaky. "I feel messy."

"It's beautiful, you always are."

She folded her arms around his back and he wrapped his under her back tickling her sides. They held each other as close as they possibly could.

"We should do this every morning," he kissed her forehead. "Can you imagine a more perfect way to start the day?"

She shook her head. "No, but we're too old for every morning."

"We'll see." He kissed her nose and she lifted her mouth to touch his.

She sighed, happy, contented. "Mmm, I didn't realise it would get better. I suppose I should have known, practice…"

"…makes perfect, just like dancing."

She laughed. "I need to shower."

"Not yet, stay here with me for a while."

"You said breakfast before you have to leave."

"Don't remind me I have to leave, you're right, we should stay here all day."

"I'm not sure we could beat that."

This time he laughed. "Oh but I'd like to try."

"I'm sure." She kissed him slowly, holding his face. "Order breakfast whilst I clean up and we'll eat it in bed."

"You spoil me. I can hardly believe my life these days."

"Think on it as a well deserved retirement period." She kissed him again. "Let me go." She whispered.

"Never."

"I'll be right back."

"Promise?"

"Promise, we have our next trip to plan, I rather like travelling as Mrs. Romerro."

"Oh believe me, I'm rather enjoying travelling with her too."

She rolled across the bed only to feel him grabbing her waist from behind and holding her to him.

"Joseph…" She smiled resting her hand on his. "Let me go."

"No." He kissed her neck.

"I'll be back directly." She wiggled against him.

"Ahh, definitely not now." He attacked her neck. "Stay with me."

"Mmm," she moaned and turned over in his arms, sliding her hands over his shoulders. "You're too convincing, charming."

"I practiced for years." He gently kissed her mouth.

"Oh I do hope it was just for me."

He nodded his head. "Absolutely."

He was about to kiss her again when his mobile phone rang. Groaning and sliding across the bed away from her he reached for his phone and flipped it open.

Clarisse took the opportunity to slide out of bed and disappear into the bathroom. A few moments later she returned in her bathrobe. Joseph still sat in bed, tapping his phone on his chin apparently deep in thought.

Clarisse moved to the window peeking through the curtains to take in the weather. "Well my dear where shall we shop this afternoon hmm? Oh and we should have lunch somewhere fabulous before we have to leave tomorrow, what do you think?" She turned to face him when he didn't respond. "Joseph…"

She crawled across the expansive bed toward him. "Joseph…" She drawled. "Are you listening to me, do you even hear me?"

He chuckled and shook his head as she climbed on top of him. "Yes I hear you."

She punctuated his words by kissing him, running her hands over his head.

"Darling I'm afraid I have bad news."

"Ohhh…" She lifted her head from kissing his chest. "I don't like bad news. And I don't like that look on your face." She sat back sighing. "No shopping right."

He shook his head. "Afraid not. A last minute emergency meeting." He stroked her hair. "I'm sorry."

"It doesn't matter, I'll shop alone, we can have a meal this evening instead. And you can make it up to me this weekend when we're home." She moved closer to him, pressing her chest against his and kissing his chin.

He sighed, frustrated.

"Something else?" She whispered.

He shook his head again. "I won't be flying home with you tomorrow, I have to fly to Sweden, I should be home on Monday."

She sat back again, annoyed. "Oh I see."

"Don't say it that way honey I'm sorry."

"I know, it can't be helped."

"But you're annoyed?"

"Well, it's the… it doesn't matter, don't worry." She kissed his forehead and climbed off of the bed. "I'm going to have a shower."

"Clarisse…"

"Hmm?" She opened the closet door glancing over the array of dresses there.

"Don't ignore me, come on, don't be angry."

"I'm not angry."

"Annoyed then, admit it, you are."

"I'm not…"

"Clarisse." He swung his legs over the side of the bed and hoisted himself up wandering over to her and kissing the top of her head. "Clarisse…"

"What?" She mumbled pretending to be engrossed in her wardrobe.

"Come on," he squeezed her stomach. "You can be angry at me without it being a problem. All couple's argue."

"I know…" She said nonchalantly.

He tried again, delicately kissing the side of her neck. "Clarisse?"

"It's nothing, stop it…" she pulled away from him. "Joseph stop it, you're naked, go put something on."

"I thought you liked me this way." He smiled.

"Not right now." She turned away from him and stomped across the room heading for the bathroom.

Once she was safely inside she closed the door and leant back against it, what was she doing? She wasn't angry with him, not really, she was angry at herself. There it was that jealous streak rearing again, he was needed, required, he was the one who had to rush from one important meeting to the next and she… She, who was she? The former Queen, former being the operative word.

Stamping her foot in frustration she crossed the marbled bathroom, leant over the expansive tub and turned the hot tap on. Perhaps a bath would help ease her sudden mood.

Staring into the mirror she dropped her robe and her eye caught the red flush that spread over her chest; oh she was still shaking from his touch. She still felt that warm rush in her stomach and heard the words he'd said, the words she'd said… and now she was arguing with him again. Just when she took one step forward in their relationship she tripped and went backwards again.

She tensed immediately as the bathroom door opened and glanced at Joseph standing there watching her, a towel loosely hung around his waist. She wanted to offer him a smile but instead she looked away partly out of embarrassment, partly out of fear.

"Clarisse?"

She swallowed. "I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologise you know that…" he sighed walking towards her. "This isn't a problem, we have to argue every now and then or we won't be human. I have to annoy the hell out of you every now and then or you wouldn't be human."

She said nothing but continued staring into the now steamed mirror.

She listened as Joseph crossed behind her and turned off the bath taps then came to stand behind her gently placing his hands on her waist.

"Clarisse, my darling, we just shared the most amazing..."

She cut him off, shaking her head. "I know." Somewhat dejectedly she repeated, "I know. This is why I feel so..."

"So what hmm..." He kissed her neck softly. "Talk to me, share it with me."

She couldn't help but back away from the counter a little to be closer to him and with a relieved sigh she felt his arms going around her waist.

"I feel so... I don't know. Yes, we just had the most amazing experience. I never felt something like that, never imagined... Yet, only minutes later we are arguing again. I am arguing. I feel so...stupid, I guess."

"Hmmm," he kissed her neck again revelling in her scent. "But I suspect there's a reason for this... slight disagreement, and all I want is for you to share it with me. That's what we're supposed to be doing now, trusting each other implicitly."

Clarisse lowered her head and squeezed her eyes shut to rid herself of an image she didn't dare to see in herself. Shaking her head, she muttered. "It's silly really."

"Oh Clarisse, Clarisse… it doesn't matter how silly it is, I love the fact that I get to see the silly things now." He watched her smile appear and couldn't resist kissing the side of her mouth holding her body even tighter against his. "We can't go through the rest of our lives avoiding certain things, it's not what's done, we share it all, we trust each other and we laugh together at the silly things. So…" He turned her in his arms. "Whatever it is it doesn't matter, the argument's forgotten already, but the memory of this morning will always be there."

She swallowed heavily at that, desperately trying to keep the tears in check. Looping her arms around his neck she leant closer to him. "Yes," she sighed, "the memory of this morning will always be with us. Even when I behave like a fool."

"But a very gorgeous fool."

She giggled at that. "But a fool nonetheless. With a gorgeous husband, however." Turning her head slightly, she placed a breathy kiss upon his collarbone.

"We have about an hour before I have to tear myself away from you, shall we make use of that extraordinary bath?" She lifted her face to him, her eyes sparkling; he dipped his head and kissed her full mouth. "Hmm, how about we sink in there together and you confess why you're a fool."

Glancing over to the large and steaming tub, she tried to get out of an answer. He, however, would have none of it. Gently lifting her chin, he forced her to look into his face. Raising an eyebrow, he urged her to speak. "Do I really have to?" she stalled.

At his answering nod, she shrugged her shoulders. "Very well then."

Carefully disentangling herself from his embrace, she extended her hand to him and then led him into the steaming water.

He couldn't help but chuckle as he followed her, he dropped his towel. "So now you want me naked?"

She threw him a saucy grin. "Of course. Always."

"Ohhh" he sank down into the warm water, welcoming her into his arms. "Do you know how difficult it's going to be for me to get out of here and actually leave you?"

The smile on her face became only brighter. "I'd love to make it impossible for you to leave me today, but I know it can't be helped."

He tucked her hair behind her ear as she settled on his lap. "Tell me, are you simply desperately upset about my extra trip because you'll miss me terribly, which I expect." He grinned. "Or was there something else?"

Once again, Clarisse dropped her head to avoid his gaze. She was stalling, but she knew she wouldn't get out of an answer this time. "It is both, I'm afraid."

"Of course, I will miss you terribly. It is strange, I've been alone for so long and now I feel like I cannot function without you for even one day. I don't know how I thought we could have separate bedrooms, even temporarily. I need you to hold me at night. I need you to kiss me, to make love to me." She chuckled ruefully. "Sometimes I think, I have become sex-crazed. At my age." she exclaimed. "Yet, I cannot help but want you. All the time."

Joseph couldn't stop the smile that spread across his face. "Oh believe me I'm not complaining."

She smiled at this and then continued after a deep breath. "I need to see you, when I wake up. I need to know that I will at least see you for mealtimes, if not more often. Gods, I need your scent in the air. Joseph I need you with me. All the time. And I feel guilty about that."

He shook his head interrupting her. "You don't have to, I want you with me all the time too. There's no guilt, we're hopelessly in love," he smiled. "And we waited long enough for this, I want to be with you every single second..."

Her smile became a bit teary at that, yet she stubbornly ploughed on. If she didn't get this out now, she would never manage. "I'm happy about this, Joseph, but I still feel guilty. It is so egoistic of me. I saw and heard you yesterday in that conference room and I realized not only that you do an important job, but also that you are very good at it. This is a field, where you can really make a difference, because of who you are, how you are and," she shrugged, "what you are. And here I am behaving like a whiny, clingy wife, who feels neglected just because her husband does his job."

Taking another deep breath, Clarisse braced herself for the final part of her confession. "I guess, it is mostly my problem, not yours. It was always me, who was constantly busy and never had a moment to breathe and now, my load lightens considerably and my schedule is no longer so full. All of a sudden, it is you who is constantly busy. Travelling all over the continent. A meeting here, a conference there. It is actually quite ridiculous. I always wanted more time to myself and now that I have it, I'm not happy with it either. I guess, I just don't know any longer what to do with myself, especially when you are not with me..."

He stared at her, taking in her expression, attempting to engage with her words. "I..." Joe took a deep breath and shook his head. "I'm not sure what to say."

She made a face. "You don't have to..."

His hand lowered down her body, sliding into the water along her leg. "Yes I do, because you're my wife, and you're unhappy." He watched her, mulling it over, biting down on his bottom lip. "I'll give it up." He finally proclaimed. "We'll retire together, disappear into the sunset and relax."

She laughed out loud at this and leant forward to put her head against his shoulder. "We would both be bored out of our minds after a few days. Despite all the things we both come up with when we are alone. Still, it is a lovely idea."

Somehow he was relieved at her words. She lifted her head back and he stroked her face. "I would do it for you, if you wanted me to... perhaps in a few years. I have to admit; well you know how much I'm enjoying this turn of events. Being thrust into the spotlight is unnerving but I love doing it. But you... my god Clarisse the respect you receive, the work you've done over the years, if anything these event organisers are asking me as much about you as they are about my views on the future of education."

He sighed. "I want to share it with you, I want you to be part of it. Certainly never to feel ignored, you are first and foremost, the one person that matters above all else. You will always be the first thing I think of when I wake." He kissed her forehead. "The last thing at night."

She closed her eyes at the touch of his lips against her skin. "As you are for me."

"I'm not sure what else to say, I want to somehow, stupidly, make it better for you but I'm not sure how... it's not going to be that easy."

"No, it isn't. Still, being here with you, being in your arms is all the help I need. In case, I haven't told you yet: I like being Mrs. Romerro. But you are right, I'm afraid you cannot say or do anything to make it better for me. It is something I have to get through myself, just like you had to do, before this new task came your way. I know, you were not completely happy at that time. But you pulled through and with you by my side, I will do as well."

He smiled, somewhat half-heartedly. "You will, and I'll be here." He kissed her again. "The important thing is you told me, thank you for sharing it."

She smiled at him. "I told you once - in anger as I remember - that you are my best friend. I only have you to turn to, when I need a friend, when I need somebody to confide in. Whom else could I tell?"

* * *

Clarisse smoothed her skirt down and glanced again out of the car window. The sun was shining, the afternoon glorious, and she was going home… she turned her head again and looked to the front of the car, it never used to be her waiting, never.

The door opened and her husband slid in next to her, she folded her gloves in her lap.

"Sorry my dear, got caught in the lobby."

"It's fine, I told you, you don't have to come with me to the airport."

"Ah but you hate to fly." He leant over and kissed her cheek. "Besides, I might as well fly straight out to Sweden, save time."

"Oh well I'm glad I could accommodate darling." She teased.

"Ha ha…" He rested his hand on hers and leant closer to her, the privacy screen was up and there were no worries anybody might over hear them. "I'll miss you," he whispered. "Can't sleep properly without you next to me."

"I would think you would get more sleep without me next to you going on last night's activities."

"You're too distracting."

"Hmm," She smiled and finally twisted her head to look at him, taking in his expression she chuckled. "Joseph."

"Kiss me darling." He proclaimed resting his head on her shoulder.

"Stop it, you're being silly."

"You make me silly."

"Oh I do, I'm guilty of many things aren't I." She relented and gently kissed his forehead.

"I want a proper kiss."

"You can have a proper kiss when you return to Genovia, and not until."

"Then I'll hurry home."

"That was my plan." She glanced through the window realising they were nearing the airport and began to pull her gloves on.

He reached for her hand, lifted it to his mouth and gently kissed her palm. She let her demeanour slip for a second and brushed his lips.

"I'll miss you too." She tipped her head forward and kissed him gently, tantalisingly. "Especially as I have to face Lord and Lady Palimore's anniversary celebrations alone."

"You'll come through it admirably as always my dear."

"Hmm it's not that which worries me."

He sat up, straightening his tie. "Surely nothing worries you."

She was quiet, staring out of the window as the car slowed.

"Clarisse?" He prompted.

"Gossip, it's the gossip, the rumours about our 'floundering marriage' still abound… showing up alone does nothing to reassure the country we are still very much together."

"Perhaps more than ever." He squeezed her hand again.

"I'm being silly, it's fine, it will be fine." She returned the intimate gesture by folding her now gloved fingers with his. "You'll be off in Sweden flying the flag."

"I can but try." He kissed her head. "I wish you were coming with me."

"I'm too much of a distraction dear remember." She smiled coyly sitting forward, they had pulled into the private car park and any second would have to abandon their solitude. "Now, be careful, don't drink too much in the evening and do try and rest at least a little." She warned.

"Yes ma'am." Although teasing he enjoyed the way she fussed over him now. They were settling into married life. "And do try and enjoy yourself on Sunday. Mia will be there."

"I know," she sighed. "Call me this evening."

"You know I will." He sat behind her, touching her back, they heard the front door open. "I love you." He whispered kissing the back of her neck.

"And you." She was able to quickly reply before the door opened in front of her.

* * *

_We hope you enjoyed that - please leave us a little review with your thoughts on the story so far. xR_


	24. part 24

**Disclaimer: **Own none of the Princess Diaries characters, blah blah blah... just enjoying myself!

**Author's Note: **Has Clarisse stumbled into phone sex?

* * *

**Mixed Signals**  
by _Posh_ & _Stoneygem_

Part 24

Kissing in the backseat of a car had something magical, she thought. With a blush, she had to admit, that making love in the backseat of a car was extremely exciting. She still couldn't believe they had done just that mere weeks before, it still sent a rush over her.

Outside the window her beautiful Genovia was gliding by. The hills were green, sprinkled with the yellow dots of the wild flowers, the trees sprucing bright green leaves, the cherry trees in full bloom.

A song came unbidden into her mind and she found herself humming along. May, a lusty month indeed. Joseph and she had certainly made use of it.

The thought of her husband darkened her mood immediately. With a sigh, Clarisse threw a look at the seat beside her. The empty seat beside her.

Yet at the same time, a warm feeling spread through her body. She missed him so much already. They had parted at the airport less than four hours ago, but she felt as if it had been weeks already.

She had never imagined herself being one for emotional goodbye-scenes. Nevertheless, the picture they had given interested onlookers in Vienna airport certainly must have looked like it. Waiting until the last minute for her to go through the security check to board her plane, because they couldn't leave each other's arms. Clarisse sighed. If she really tried she could still feel his arms holding her in a tight embrace, his hands moving tenderly over her back and arms, his lips kissing her eyes, her forehead, her cheeks and her mouth. She had been so unwilling to leave his embrace.

It was a hard battle and the idea of postponing her return and actually accompany him to Sweden had more than once almost won out. In the end, it was him who reminded her that she had to go. Reluctantly, they had parted, sharing one last kiss…

And then another.

And another.

Finally, the young flight attendant had cleared her throat next to them and with an apologizing smile reminded them that she needed to board. They might have parted physically, with great reluctance, but their eyes stayed locked until a solid wall obscured their sight.

Almost disappearing in her seat, she had kept her face firmly turned towards the window, so that nobody would see the tears slipping down her cheeks. Even now, she felt them burning in her throat. God, she missed him so much already. How would she be able to get through this night, alone again in their bed?

Thankfully, Shades had not said anything upon the fact that she returned alone. She was confident though that he had not only registered but connected the dots. Wrongly. Her marriage was not floundering even more, her husband was merely delayed by an unexpected business meeting.

Still, he hadn't asked and she didn't supply the information. Shall they believe what they want. She would not be able to convince them without Joseph by her side and he would not be home until Monday.

Suddenly, she felt an irrepressible urge to be near to him, to feel his arms around her, his breath on her skin and his voice in her ear. With a sigh, Clarisse once again shifted in the seat and kept her gaze locked onto the woods rolling by outside. Today she would have nothing of this, he had yet to arrive in Stockholm and then would be deep in meetings that would have him tied up until late in the evening. Hopefully, he would at least have a chance to place the short phone call to say "Good Night." to her.

"Your Majesty, we will reach the palace in two minutes." Shades said over his shoulders. His was quite glad that the trip would be over soon. The ride had been more than uncomfortable from the beginning. They could at least have warned him that she would be returning alone.

After the surprising impromptu trip to Vienna, he had all but expected the couple to come back together, the privacy screen up and a few unarticulated groans from the backseat. Rolling his eyes, Shades thought better of it. Definitely no groans…

The heavy limousine stopped at the winding stairs leading directly to the ballroom and before Shades could jump out, a guard had approached and opened the rear door.

The young queen came rushing down the stairs, having still not learned the 'hastening'-rule. "Grandma! Grandma!"

Clarisse carefully stepped out of the car and then embraced her granddaughter tightly. It had taken her a long time to feel comfortable doing this, but now she was glad to be able to hug her granddaughter. Despite all the happiness she had felt alone with Joseph, she still had missed the young woman.

With Mia's arm around her waist, Clarisse happily started to ascend the stairs. There was almost nothing like home. Stepping inside the palace, she was happy to note the slight coolness inside. The temperatures in Genovia had apparently risen over the last few days.

Mia's excited chatter kept her entertained on the way to her suite. Without it, Clarisse was positive it would have been a dreary road. She could still not imagine coming home and not finding him there, not having him with her.

"Where is Joe, by the way, grandma? Didn't the conference go well?" Mia's inquiry shook her out of her musings.

"No, no, it went very well. He was, how would you say? Cool."

The young queen giggled at her grandmother's use of jargon. It sounded so funny coming from this refined woman.

Clarisse grinned mischievously as well. "He was very impressive. Those people didn't know what was happening to them. They were practically eating out of his hand."

Mia's grin broadened. "That sounds as if he was really good."

"Yes," Clarisse's face took on a dreamy expression and her voice turned tender, "I was, no, I am very proud of him. I never thought that this was what he should have been doing for years. He has so many ideas and he makes them see the reason behind it. He mediates the conflicts as if he has been doing it for years. It was so incredible to watch him, Mia. I always knew that there was so much more to this man than he let on, but I never knew how much."

The young woman had become quiet and serious during those words. "You really love him, don't you grandma?"

Clarisse stopped in the middle of the hallway and turned to face her heir. "Yes, Mia. Actually, love doesn't come close to what I feel for Joseph. But yes, I love him and I am very proud of him."

Mia nodded. "So, where is he?" she asked suddenly, as if to dispel the gloomy mood.

Her grandmother's face turned wistful. "In Sweden." She said with an air of dejection.

"What's he doing there?"

"Apparently, some official managed to make rather a blunder over some agreement they had reached with the Swedish government, when Joseph was on that meeting in Brussels. He had to go and calm down boiling tempers. He'll be home on Monday."

"Bugger. So, he'll not be here to go with you to the party tomorrow?"

"I'm afraid not."

"I'm so sorry grandma."

Clarisse smiled tremulously. "Me too."

They had reached the doors to Clarisse's suite by then. As the footmen opened the doors, Mia made her excuse. "I'll leave you alone so you can rest a bit, besides I think Charlotte has probably placed a pile of letters on my desk. I'll…"

Her words were interrupted by Charlotte clearing her throat. "Your Majesty, there are no letters yet, but Lord Jerome is waiting for you."

"Did we have an appointment scheduled for today?"

"Yes, your Majesty."

Then the aide bowed to her former monarch. "Welcome home, Your Highness. Did you have a pleasant flight?"

Clarisse smiled gently at her former aide. Charlotte was not only not good at lying, but she was not very good at disguising her concern. Surely she must have heard already that Clarisse had come home alone and was worried to see in what state this would have left the former queen.

"It was uneventful, thank you. Did my husband call already?"

Charlotte raised an eyebrow. "Erm…no," she stammered, "not yet, your highness."

Clarisse checked her watch. "Yes, you are right. He's probably just landed in Stockholm. I believe, I'm just impatient."

"Very well, your highness." The younger employee bowed out, leaving with Mia, but not before Clarisse saw a look exchanged between them that left her wondering if they knew something she didn't.

Closing the doors behind her, Clarisse noted quite gratefully that neither of her ladies' maids were in the suite. She really needed some time to herself. Priscilla and Olivia could unpack her suitcases later. She wouldn't need any of the clothes now. Crossing through the parlour to their bedroom, she tiredly ran a hand over her face. As beautiful as those last days had been, they had exhausted her. Then their sad goodbye at the airport and the flight back, it had tired her. Maybe she could take a nap until somebody had the idea that her presence was needed.

When she opened the door to their bedroom, revealing the inside to her view, she felt as if the breath had been forcefully removed from her lungs. Her limbs wouldn't function, neither would her brain. She could not believe what she saw.

"Joseph…" his name was merely a breath on her lips. "Oh my darling…"

They were everywhere. Dozens of bouquets of all sizes and colours were placed around the bedroom. Red, pink, yellow, white, orange and mauve. It was breathtaking, just like their scent. Yet, Clarisse's gaze was inevitably drawn to the bed. It was completely covered with rose petals.

The scent was overwhelming and almost involuntarily she moved forward, shaking her head in disbelief. Oh what a sweet and wonderful man her husband was. How thoughtful and inventive. How incredible and loving. How she loved him.

She found the card, half hidden under the petals as she ran her hand over them, delighting in the softness of them.

"_Since, I cannot be there to bathe you in my love, my darling, I wanted you to bathe in something that you love so much. __I will count the minutes until I can feel what those petals will feel now, – the utter sweetness of you_."

She couldn't help it. Reading those words, the tears came and this time she did nothing to stop them.

It took her only a few seconds to strip off her clothes. Then Clarisse carefully climbed onto the bed, mindful not to crush too many of the delicate leaves. With a sigh she lowered herself onto the mattress, happily inhaling the scent. Closing her eyes, exhaustion quickly claimed her and whispering her husband's name, she quickly drifted off to sleep.

* * *

She was dreaming. Dreaming of a warm summer day upon a cliff overlooking the ocean. The waves were crashing against the rocks, but up here they only made the sound of a gentle rolling. The wind was ruffling her hair and the sun blinding her eyes, but she didn't see, didn't feel any of this. The only thing she could focus on was his warmth, the strength of his arms around her waist, his delightful hard body pressed against her back. The words he whispered in her ear. She leant closer against him, turning her head slightly so that she could tell…

All of a sudden, there was a ringing in her ear. It didn't fit in her fantasy and it annoyed her. There was no need for a telephone in her dream. The ringing came again and again. With a groan of annoyance, Clarisse opened her eyes and clumsily searched for the origin of the offending noise. Finally her hand encountered the telephone and picking up the receiver, the ringing finally stopped.

Groggily, Clarisse put the receiver close to her ear. "Yes?"

"Hello…" a deep voice came across the line. "How are you my darling?"

The voice gave her a jolt and she already felt a smile spreading over her face, despite her numbness. Trying to raise herself up, she mumbled drowsily: "Sleepy..."

"Hmm, you sound wonderful..." he paused resting back on the couch, kicking off his shoes. "You sound, warm, and comfortable... I can just visualise you."

Her eyes were still heavy and she gave up on trying to raise herself into a sitting position, but instead turned around to lie on her back. Stretching she asked half-teasing, half-tired "What do you see me doing then?"

He chuckled lightly closing his eyes. "You're lying in bed, snuggled up… ohhh did you like the gift my dear?"

By now she was actually fully awake. The sound of his voice was like a warming blanket in the slightly chilly room. With surprise she realized that it was dark outside already. Without the sun to shine through the windows the high-ceilinged room had become quite cold and the slightly damp...rose petals...Gods, rose petals... did not help against the chill. Making a grab for the end of the comforter, Clarisse pulled it halfway over her body, thus bathing in the rose petals for real. A coy smile crossed her face at the feel of the soft leaves. "Gift, my darling? You haven given me a gift? Anything I should know about?"

"You know very well what I'm talking about you tease…" he sighed deeply. "Your voice sounds so good, I've missed you," he laughed. "we've only been apart for a few hours and I've missed you. I want to touch you." He added as an afterthought loosening his tie and throwing it to the coffee table.

"Oh Joseph, I want to touch you too."

He smiled, at the sound of her voice, husky, sleepy, clouded with emotion. "Mmm, tell me what you're wearing, and where exactly you are, I want to imagine you."

A wide grin spread over her face. "Imagine me? My, my Sir Joseph are you planning to entertain improper thoughts about your queen?" she asked in a mock-stern voice.

He laughed stretching out on the couch. "It's not improper my darling, it's highly proper... you're my wife." He twisted his body getting comfortable, kicking his socks off. "My wife is utterly divine, and I want to go to bed tonight with the image of you... lying in our bed, smelling so good, feeling soooo good."

He heard her giggle, her muffled response. "What? Surely you aren't embarrassed my dear Clarisse."

Giggling Clarisse drew patterns through the rose petals beside her contemplating an answer. Oh, she wanted to give him a proper image to go to bed with. Though 'proper' might not have been the most fitting word. "Well, I can tell you, my good sir that I don't need to go to bed anymore. I am there already."

"Ohhh you are," his eyes shot open. "Well then, perhaps I should be there too." He reached for his whisky glass and took a sip. "I wish I were there too, what are you wearing? If that's not too personal a question of course your majesty…" He drawled the last word out, teasing her.

Her grin turned wider. "You have claimed to be my husband, so it should be a question you might be allowed to ask." When he didn't respond, she frowned. "Joseph? What is it?"

He groaned. "You're too much… I miss you too much." He turned on the couch burying his face in the pillow then taking a deep breath. "I miss hearing your voice, burying my face in your hair at night."

He was silent for a while; they both were, just listening to the sound of each other's breathing. Then he closed his eyes again and said gently "Whatever you're wearing take it off."

"Who says I'm still wearing anything?"

"Oh don't do that to me." He swallowed clumsily reaching for his glass again and spilling a little. "I want you too badly."

She drew a deep breath at the timbre of his voice. "Oh, I want you too, my love. But two can play that game. If I take off what I am still wearing then you need to do that too."

He coughed raising himself a little on the couch. "Alright, then I'll take off my shirt. It is getting rather warm in here…"

"Yes, please." was her husky reply. Swallowing convulsively, she closed her eyes, half frightened half delighted by the image of him taking his shirt off. Of his bare chest. The itch in her fingers to run her hands over it, to feel the skin and those well-defined muscles ripple under her touch.

He held the phone in one hand as he unbuttoned his shirt and lifted it over his head tossing it to the floor. "Okay, then the shirt is off…" he breathed deeply settling back down. He heard her sharp intake of breath, imagined her lying in bed cradling the receiver to her ear.

This desire became stronger and stronger, almost overwhelming her and she croaked into the phone: "But the shirt is not enough, love. You are still overdressed."

He smiled licking his lips. "Clarisse my love, have you ever done this before?"

"Done what?" came her innocent reply.

He smiled settling back on the couch, she really was so endearingly innocent at times. Alright, so she hadn't done this, he could tell in her voice, he didn't really expect her too. "Nothing..." he said gently. "Nothing. Just sharing like this, being comfortable enough with each other to do this." He shook his head to dispel the heady moment. "So... how was your day?" He asked simply.

She closed her eyes and smiled. He was endearingly protective giving her a way out before she did something she would certainly be embarrassed about later. It was true, she probably would be. What had she done to deserve…

His cough brought her back and her smile became even wider. "Oh, my day started out quite lovely. I woke up in the arms of a wonderful man and we made love just as the sun came peeking onto our bed. It was wonderful, but then the day deteriorated I'm afraid. My wonderful man and I had to part at the airport in a faraway town, yet I didn't want to let him go. Still, I had to. Then I had a quiet flight, which I spent alternately missing this wonderful man and dreaming of him. Then I arrived here and my day became better again, because my wonderful man had the most wonderful surprise prepared for me."

She took a deep breath. "Thank you my love. The roses are so beautiful. I love my surprise. I can't tell you, how much."

He laughed. "Well I'm certainly glad you had this wonderful man to keep you happy… waking in his arms, making love to him in the morning, surprise gifts… sounds like perfection to me." He swung his legs over the edge of the couch and began to pace around the room, stopping in front of the large mirror above the fireplace and staring at his face. He looked tired.

"Yes, he is perfection to me. We are perfection. I miss him though. Gifts cannot compete with the reality of him holding me." She sighed

"If you start that again we won't ever get to sleep tonight." He placed his hand on the fireplace and twisted his wedding ring with his thumb. "God I love you Clarisse," his voice was rich and warm as he closed his eyes. "You have no idea…" his voice faded away and for a few seconds he listened to the sound of her breathing on the other end of the phone.

The tenderness which overcame her made her heart swell. "Oh, I have a very good idea, Joseph. I do have an idea. And I love you too." Turning onto her side, so she could run her free hand over his side of the bed, she suddenly became anxious. "Joseph, how much longer do you have to stay? I miss you so." She paused again. "And you sound tired. Are there problems?"

"No," he said earnestly. "No there are no problems. I miss you too… say you love me again."

She giggled. "I love you."

"And again."

"Joseph…" she sighed.

"Okay, well are you prepared for tomorrow, do you have a 'killer' outfit planned? Ready to stun everybody there with your beauty."

Even through the phone he could hear her blush. "Joseph... I really don't think, I…"_  
_  
"Oh but you do, my love." He smiled. "You always do. Whenever I think you couldn't be any more beautiful, you prove me wrong again. So," he tried to lighten her embarrassment, "do you have a 'killer' outfit ready?"

This time, she smiled as well. "Of course not. Can't you see the headlines? 'Dowager Queen kills party guests through dress choice' the press would love it."

"They would certainly." He chuckled. The idea was too funny, even more so since it had come from Clarisse.

"No, I think, I will wear something rather casual. Not too ostentatious. It is going to be a garden party. They requested to forgo evening wear and dress according to the weather. I think, I'll go for it. Besides," she paused momentarily, "Mia should shine the brightest. She is queen now."

"Yes she is, but you'll always be the first to catch my eye. I wish I could be there…" He sighed rubbing his forehead. "It's getting late my love, have you eaten?"

"Eaten? Eaten? Erm…no, not since the plane and not very much then." She scrunched her face in a slight grimace. That was the downside of using a normal flight. Plane food. However, his question stopped her cold. She had not even registered that she had more or less skipped lunch, then tea and finally dinner. "And after arriving here, I have forgotten." She blushed embarrassedly.

"Forgotten, conveniently." He laughed. "Actually I can't berate you too badly, I haven't had time either. And whisky on an empty stomach… I'm exhausted."

For a second she had to chuckle. "Whisky on an empty stomach, you should know better." Then she became serious. "I slept all afternoon. I came in and just fell asleep on those beautiful rose petals. And," again she blushed, "I dreamt of you."

"Flatterer… I'm sure I'll be doing the same, though I have a few notes to go through before bed." He padded barefoot across the lounge towards the bathroom. "I was going to take a bath but compared to the luxurious one we shared… well let's just say I'd be let down."

Moving back across the room he fell down onto the bed. "I might just shower, climb into bed & work there then try and sleep."

"And eat?" She said gently.

"Perhaps… perhaps I'll order tea and crumpets."

She giggled. "That sounds nice."

"And eat in bed as I work."

"Even better." She yawned then covered her mouth.

"You're still tired?"

"Must be the flying… I'm sorry."

"Don't be, I'm exhausted too. I don't want to stop talking to you though darling."

"Oh Joseph, I want to talk to you too. All night, if I could. Though I would fall asleep on you at some point, I'm afraid."

He chuckled lightly on the other end of the phone. "Or I on you. Not my idea of a perfect night with you, my darling."

She sighed. "No, not perfect."

There was a long pause, during which they listened to each other's breathing. Knowing that she should end the call, yet unwilling to break the contact.

Finally, Clarisse heaved another sigh. "Come home to me soon, my love. I miss you."

"I miss you too, enjoy tomorrow, I'll call you…"

"I'll try…"

"Goodnight, my love."

"Goodnight." She breathed.

He held the phone close to his face closing his eyes. "Goodnight."

She smiled. "Goodnight Joseph."

* * *

_Now did you enjoy that? Please leave us a little message - thanks :-) xx Rhonda_


	25. part 25

**Disclaimer:** We own none of the PD characetrs we're just playing a little... ;-)

**Mixed Signals** - _part 25_

by_ Posh _&_ Stoneygem_

Balmy evening air, good food, and for once nice company - it could be such a lovely evening. She could enjoy this evening, surprisingly casual as the party developed; yet her heart was not in it.

Of course, he wouldn't call, knowing her to be here, but if she had stayed home, she could have called him. Nobody around to disturb them, no longer barely able to keep their eyes open, they could have talked for hours on end. Or simply kept silent, listening to the other breathing.

Those little things were suddenly so important. Last night, when he had called, she had not really cared what he had to say - though it was wonderful to hear him say that he loved her - it was to hear his voice, to feel so close to him, despite the physical distance.

If only he were home with her.

It was a nice party and she actually enjoyed being here and seeing all these people, but how much better would it have been to have him here and hold his hand while they were strolling through the garden.

Instead a glass of white wine was in her hands and she wandered alone through the garden.

Mia was enjoying herself, that much was obvious. It was a party that met her tastes surprisingly well, even though it was the 40th anniversary of Lord and Lady Palimore. Clarisse shook her head in amusement. One would never think that the uptight first man in parliament had it in him to throw a party for his wife that entertained everybody.

Joseph would have liked it.

And nobody would have talked about the fact that she had shown up alone.

So far it seemed as if they believed her, when she said that her husband was simply tied up in an emergency meeting in Stockholm. The papers had confirmed it, along with a raving report about his accomplishment in Vienna.

She had not been able to hide the proud grin spreading over her features. Yes, her husband had done this. It was good to hear that his success was acknowledged.

"Good to see that they fixed whatever problem they were having."

Clarisse stopped in her tracks and pushed herself closer to a privet hedge, when she heard the voices.

"But she is here alone, while he is running around somewhere else. Where is he anyway?"

"Sweden, she said. It was in the paper this morning too."

Lord Palimore snorted slightly. "Those papers. Say that the husband of the dowager queen is now the hero of our education development. Raving about how we needed such a man for years and never even looked."

"Why are you so angry, dear? Since when do you dislike Joseph so much Horace?"

On the other side of the hedge, Clarisse felt a giggle burst from her. She always forgot that Lord Palimore's given name was 'Horace'. What a fittingly pompous name for a normally pompous man.

"I do not have anything against that man personally. Actually, I am quite pleased with his successes. However, I'd rather have him be successful with his marriage."

"Horace…"

"No Marjorie! Our queen runs after a man like a love struck teenager only to come back alone. And he's running off to Oslo or something. I'd be willing to wager, this trip was a complete disaster."

"Horace!" Lady Marjorie Palimore sounded appalled. "This is really enough. First of all, it is Stockholm, not Oslo. You are in the wrong country, dear."

"What does that matter, Marjorie? He is there and she is here, alone. People are no longer gossiping. They are questioning. Openly."

The eavesdropper on the other side of the hedge could practically hear the exasperation in Lady Palimore's voice. If the topic of their argument had not been so serious, it would have been rather funny.

The amusement was unmistakable in Lady Palimore's voice now. "Horace, you should read more than the political part of the papers."

Clarisse could have sworn that the man's eyebrows would have now touched his hairline.

"Did you not see yesterday's 'London Times'?"

"Marjorie, honestly, I never read the yellow press." The first man of parliament sounded offended by the mere suggestion to even look at this lower form of journalism.

"I know, I know my dear. This time you should have. They had a two-page article about 'Royal Romance in Vienna' featuring the dowager queen of Genovia and her new husband. And trust me, some paparazzo hit a goldmine with those. The article had several photos and in all of them they were kissing, in the streets even. Looked like honeymooners."

"Lord Palimore! Lady Palimore! Please join us again. The cake has to be cut." It was Mia's voice that interrupted.

* * *

Joseph shuffled the papers in his lap and sighed heavily, removing his reading glasses he rubbed the bridge of his nose and glanced out of the window at the passing foliage. Nothing looked familiar, it seemed he spent his life travelling these days. Perhaps in a few months he'd be able to reduce his timetable somewhat and grab more spare time to himself. As much as he enjoyed the demands, he was beginning to realise he wasn't that young anymore.

He was also becoming rather aware of how hungry he felt, his stomach complained at his decision to skip breakfast and his head still felt heavy from the lack of sleep he'd had. Of course the long phone call with his wife had been wonderful, hearing her voice, imagining her body warm and safe in his arms… well sleep hadn't come easy after that despite his exhaustion.

Their few perfect days spent in Vienna seemed a world away now, how quickly time moved by, how reluctant to stand still and enjoy the moment. He'd waited a lifetime to be with her, to have her by his side and now he was rushing about wasting that time together… days like this he hated. When he over-analysed everything and his mind was spinning.

He rubbed his wedding band with his thumb and flipped open his mobile phone scanning through the options and opening his photo album. There were a few odd shots that Mia had taken at Christmas when he'd received it, most of them blurry and too close up. One of Clarisse with Maurice, one with Mia and one of her asleep on the couch, she wasn't even aware that it existed. She'd probably kill him if she knew; it got him through these long lonely travelling days though.

The car stopped and Joe realised they were entering a busier part of the city, gone was the foliage replaced by queuing traffic and agitated drivers. Giving up on the documents he cast them aside and leant his head back against the leather seat, closing his eyes and shutting the world out.

* * *

Queen Amelia sipped her orange juice and glanced over the top of Lord Palimore's head towards her grandma. She was hovering near the fountain, a glass of champagne in her hand, gazing into the water. Honestly, as much as she would vehemently deny it the fact she was missing Joseph was clearly etched on her face. In fact they were worse now than they'd been after the wedding. Something had happened, things were changing between them. You could sense it; the entire palace could sense it.

Mia smiled at Lord Palimore babbling on, hoping it was in the right place; she was too engrossed watching her grandmother wandering around the fountain. She looked wonderful today; in fact she'd looked wonderful since her return from Vienna. Practically glowing with health and happiness. And the outfit was perfection for her, the sun caught in her hair, the simple pearls she wore glistened and shone. Yes going away with Joseph certainly had brightened her up, and their relationship in turn Mia hoped. Perhaps she should persuade her Grandma to join him on trips more often.

* * *

Clarisse sipped her champagne and realised she'd been holding it for far too long, it was warming beneath the sunlight. Grimacing she swallowed it and reached down to trail her fingertips in the cool water.

"Your majesty?"

She lifted her head up, shielding her eyes as she looked towards the face of the person standing over her.

"Ahh, Marjorie, how are you dear?"

"I'm very well thank you, and you, I heard you just got back from Vienna?"

Clarisse smiled, turning politely to face her companion. "Yes, yes I did, it was lovely thank you. A really beautiful city."

"Yes." The lady smiled, off-centre, "I'm sure it was. And your husband, he isn't with you?"

Ahh yes, a polite conversation, still Clarisse smiled on. "Unfortunately his attention was demanded in Stockholm I'm afraid, he should be home in a few days."

"Hmm, how wonderful, approaching a year now…"

Clarisse looked away slightly, this time her smile genuine. "Yes almost a year, a beautiful year… still celebrating forty years of marriage, that's quite an achievement."

"Thank you Clarisse, and thank you so much for your offer of the royal yacht, two weeks sailing around the Mediterranean will be wonderful."

"Oh you're very welcome, I never liked to sail, doesn't suit me."

Marjorie laughed. "Well neither does Horace, but he will be forced to enjoy it…"

Clarisse was about to respond when she heard a familiar ringing coming from her clutch bag.

"Oh Marjorie I'm awfully sorry, I should have known better and left it at home." She rummaged in her bag. "Joseph insists I take it for safety matters…" She shrugged and flipped it open.

"Hello…"

* * *

Joseph stepped out of the car and glanced up the drive at the many cars lined up, at the drivers waiting around in the hot sunshine. He reached for his jacket but deciding he probably wouldn't need it, removed his tie instead and threw it into the back seat. Opening his top two collar buttons he glanced at his reflection in the car window, he looked acceptable for a gathering of this kind.

Making his way up the gravel drive her slipped on his shades and crossed over toward the house, they certainly had good weather for it. The butler welcomed him and gave directions, Joseph refused a drink and also refused to be shown to the meeting area by anyone, he wanted to go alone. He had a plan forming.

Taking out his mobile phone he pressed the redial button and her name appeared immediately. It took a few seconds for her to answer; he crossed through the house as it rang, stepping through the gathered groups of people, avoiding the stares that flashed his way.

"Hello…"

Her voice, soft, comforting.

"Hello." He replied helplessly grinning. "How are you my darling?"

"Joseph," her response rich and joyful. "Wha… I'm at the Palimore's, how are you, how are the meetings?"

"Fine, I'm fine. Just… wandering."

"Wandering." She turned back to the fountain as Marjorie moved away. "Wandering where?"

"Through a house, heading for the garden."

"You have a break?"

"Yes, I have a break." Joseph stopped and leant against the patio door gazing down the sun-drenched garden.

"Well I'm glad they're treating you well."

"How's the party?"

"It's fine, fine…"

"Only fine?"

"Yes, only fine, better if I weren't fending off questions about us."

"True. Perhaps you should mingle."

She giggled. "I am, well I'm trying to mingle, I suppose I could be seen as a little anti-social."

"Never, your smile lights up the room."

"I'm outside."

"I know, you look beautiful."

"Flatterer, I could look terrible, you're just biased."

"No, I'm telling the truth, you look wonderful, nice outfit, very chic. I see you chose to wear the new shoes from Vienna."

"Well I thought they… what, how do you… Joseph?"

She spun round searching the garden for any signs of him.

"You're looking the wrong way."

She turned again.

"More…" he said deeply, she couldn't respond, just listen.

"A little more…"

She turned again.

"Now, there you are."

He flipped his phone shut as her eyes met his and stood up straight smiling broadly and beginning to walk down the lawn towards her.

Clarisse stared open-mouthed at him; giving up rationalisation she took the remaining few steps between them in a hurried half-run and threw herself towards him.

Joseph's strong arms caught her and half lifted her up, they held each other in a tight gripped embrace. The phone dropped from Clarisse's hand, now forgotten.

"I can't believe you're here." She breathed in his ear.

"Well I knew it was important to you."

She pulled her head back searching his face. "But Stockholm?"

"I dealt with what I could then took the earliest flight back, you are more important."

"Oh…" she breathed. "Ohhh I'm so happy you're here."

"As am I my love." He traced a finger down her cheek. "A few hours apart is getting too much."

I know," she breathed, "every hour seems to be like a day. And the day just doesn't end." She threw her arms around his neck again, pressing herself closer to the feel of his strength against her and the warmth of his embrace.

He willingly tightened his hold on her, burying his face in her neck to inhale her scent. Her perfume warmed by the sun on her skin, created an overwhelmingscent, setting off almost a fantasy of the two of them lying on a blanket in a sun-drenched meadow. No inquisitive eyes, no sounds, no disturbance, just peace and sun and the feel of each other.

"Oh my darling…" he muttered.

He could feel her smile against his neck, knew that her thoughts must be similar to his.

"Can we go now?"

There was no chance to stop the laughter that broke from him. His darling, his crazy, sweet Clarisse, there were no words to describe her. He didn't have them, so instead he pulled back and then leant forward to capture her lips in a sweet kiss.

There was no overwhelming passion that made her gut constrict in a surge of excitement. No courteous peck on the lips that was for the public to see. No, this was entirely sweetness, light, warm, tender and yet so deep that it brought tears to her eyes. She could almost feel herself leaving the ground, floating with him in a sea of happiness.

Polite clapping and easily recognisable cheering brought them out of their own little world. Turning around, both smiling somewhat embarrassedly, they faced the crowd of guests, who had all stepped out onto the terrace after the whisper had said that the husband of the dowager queen had arrived and were now watching the display with interest.

To her relief Clarisse could see approving smiles and applause from many of the higher dignitaries. Though she did no longer care, what people thought about her marrying her former bodyguard, it was still a relief to have received acceptance, if not joy, for their union.

"We did it again." He whispered and she felt her smile brightening.

"I'm afraid so," she whispered back, holding onto his hand.

"What now?" he hissed between clenched teeth, desperately trying to keep up his smile while the gathered crowd still kept applauding. Gods, this seemed to go on for hours already. How could she be so calm? "They're making a bloody show out of us."

"The same as every actor on stage." She hissed back. "We bow."

Tugging on her husband's hand, Clarisse dropped into a curtsey quietly giggling to herself. Though surprised Joseph followed her lead and bowed to the assembled audience.

Standing upright again they looked at each other, the silent question where to escape to evident in their features. However, the party guests seemed to have understood that the show was now finished and started to mingle in and around the house again. Judging from the volume of the talk however, it seemed as if there was only one topic of conversation now.

Clarisse shook her head in resignation. "So much for not being the centre of attention."

Joseph grinned. "We just can't help it. You are always the centre of attention, wherever you are." He stepped closer again and traced his finger along her cheek. "You are certainly the centre of my attention, my love."

"Oh Joseph…"

"Hey Joe, great that you could come back so early. We didn't expect you till Monday. But I'm sure glad, you came. Grandma was moping around the whole day today and she had somebody to wait for."

"Hello Mia. How are you, dear?"

"Been better," the young queen sighed, "but am better now that I see you two together again. I'm so happy you two made up."

"We are working on it." The couple said in unison, sending Mia into a fit of giggles. Seconds later they joined her in the mirth.

Joining the other guests, the couple found themselves caught in a whirl of activity and gossip.

After an hour of circling, Clarisse had enough. Dragging her husband into a quiet corner, she leant her head against his chest. "Can we go now?"

Joseph grinned. "I hope so. This is becoming tiresome."

"I know. If I have to tell them one more time that no, I don't mind the pictures in the papers, I think I will scream."

"Your Majesty?" he sounded shocked, though Clarisse could tell from his posture that he was merely teasing her. "What a shocking breach of courtesy. Did you not tell your granddaughter that a queen never loses her countenance?"

Pulling back and looking into his laughing eyes, she couldn't help but chuckle as well. "Can't a former queen, who has been missing her husband greatly, be exempt from that rule?"

Cupping her cheek with his hand and brushing his nose against hers, he whispered. "Well, I'll let you in on a secret."

"What is it?" She whispered back.

"I'd rather leave this little shindig myself. As nice as they are, I'd rather be home alone with my wife."

She closed her eyes and let out a relieved sigh. "I thought we'd never be able to leave."

Pulling back slightly, he smiled. "So eager, my love."

She didn't have to answer. There was no need. Even though, their separation had lasted only a few hours, he felt the need to be alone with his wife. Just to hold her in his arms, take in the scent of her hair, feeling her soft body melt against his. Hearing her talk, sharing conversation on everything and nothing, delighting in her love. Marriage in perfection.

Seeing her smile, Joseph knew that she wanted this just as much as he did.

"We need an excuse to leave early, do we not?" She asked.

He smiled. "Good thing that you have a very exhausted husband, who just came home from a very draining business trip and didn't have the time yet to catch a breath, because he wanted to join in the celebration of good friends."

Clarisse grinned mischievously. "But now he is too exhausted to remain at the party and therefore just has to leave to go home to rest."

"And cannot do so without his wife by his side, of course."

"I like your way of thinking, sir."

"I do too, my lady."

"Well, shall we then?"

"Yes we shall."

* * *

Arriving back at the palace around 6:30 the couple headed directly for their suite, Joseph's luggage was unloaded from the car but he insisted on taking his briefcase himself.

Clarisse slipped her shoes off as she crossed the room moving to stand in front of the balcony doors, looking out over the gardens and admiring the serene view as the sun began to set.

"I brought something for you." Joseph said gently as he came to stand behind her.

"Hmm, more than yourself?"

"Yes," he kissed the back of her neck. "A little more than myself."

She relaxed against him as his arms circled her waist, her hands reaching down to cover his as they rested on her stomach.

"Here."

She glanced down as he held a small brown paper bag to her.

Raising an eyebrow she took it from him.

"Not exactly the gifts you're used to…" He said, a hint of humour to his voice.

"Not exactly." She smiled as she unfolded the top of the bag and slid out the contents. "Hmm, a postcard from Stockholm, how lovely darling."

He laughed. "Turn it over, read it properly."

"All right I will." She flipped it over. "Clarisse… wish you were here my love." She giggled. "Oh Joseph, such a romantic."

"I know, thought I could bring you one from every city I visit."

She turned in his arms. "Hopefully I'll be joining you on a few of those visits."

"Oh?" He wrapped his arms around her back holding her against him.

"Well, I rather enjoyed Vienna."

"As did I." He kissed her forehead. "So does this mean you've really decided to travel with me?"

She nodded touching his face. "Yes, obviously I can't disappear all the time but…"

"But?"

"But, I will certainly try to co-ordinate our timetables Mr. Joseph." She playfully straightened his collar. "And now I'm going to take a shower and change and then we have the entire evening to cuddle up and relax."

"Cuddle up." He grinned. "Sounds rather wonderful my dear."

"Good." She lightly kissed his lips. "Very good." She kissed him again, a little longer this time feeling his grip on her tighten. "Mmm, better stop now…"

"Don't." he said huskily kissing her again.

She moaned into his mouth. "Mmm, stop… I'll be fifteen minutes, I promise."

"Okay. I'll wait patiently." He let her go and sunk down into the chair by the window.

"And I'll take my postcard with me and save it."

"Ha, I expect so."

She disappeared into their bedroom and he leant his head back closing his eyes for a second.

* * *

Despite her promises Clarisse actually spent rather a long time pampering herself in the bathroom. Smoothing every inch of her skin in luxurious cream, making her face look perfect, choosing the silkiest long cream nightdress that clung in all the right places.

When she finally emerged from the bathroom the sun had set and a light breeze blew across the drawing room from the open balcony window. Shivering Clarisse crossed the room and pulled back the flimsy curtains, closing the doors.

When she turned, rubbing her bare arms, she finally noticed Joseph still sitting in that same chair she'd left him in.

"Joseph?" She questioned straining to see his face in the darkness. "Joseph…" she whispered again moving towards him.

She touched his cheek and he moved a little, his eyes were closed; his body was collapsed in the chair, completely exhausted, completely peaceful. His glasses were still perched on his nose, some document lying open on his chest.

She smiled and shook her head running her hand down his face to his chin, "oh my dear." She kissed his forehead; he was actually a little cold. Taking his glasses off and taking hold of the document she moved them onto the coffee table.

"Joseph," she said again a little louder this time. "Wake up my darling."

He groaned and shifted in the chair.

"Come on, time to wake up, we'd better get you to bed, much more comfortable in there my dear."

"Clarisse…"

"Hmm?" She was holding his arms attempting to lift him up.

"Honey, I'm sleepy."

"I know, come on let's get you into bed." She squeezed his hand.

"I must have dropped off." He said wearily rubbing his head.

"Yes, too much work I think, and travelling. A few days off is required."

"Yes boss." He mumbled hoisting himself up and gripping her arm as she helped him into the bedroom.

Climbing onto the bed he was about to slip between the sheets when he realised he was actually still dressed. Clarisse couldn't help but laugh at his weary sigh.

"Lie back and I'll help you." She smiled warmly, flattening his pillows.

Unbuttoning his shirt she couldn't help but place soft kisses on his chest, his hand reached to tangle in her hair and she lifted her face up to look at him.

"I've dreamt of moments like this."

"Hmm, I'm sure you have. Lift up your arms."

He did as directed and she slipped his shirt off and dropped it to the floor. Next she unbuckled his belt and pushed his trousers down, moving to his feet she pulled them down his legs, smoothing her hands over his skin. His eyes were closed, his breathing relaxed and easy.

She moved back to the top of the bed and leant over him kissing his forehead. "Climb into bed my darling." She whispered.

He did so silently, without opening his eyes.

Switching the lamp off she retrieved his clothes from the floor and moved towards the door.

"Stay with me." He murmured.

She dropped the clothes onto a chair and moved back to the bed; climbing next to him she rested her head on his shoulder. He reached for her hand and she gladly folded her fingers with his.

"Thank you for coming home early." She whispered, stroking her hand over his chest.

"You know it was as much for my selfish needs as yours… besides, I'm tired."

She smiled kissing his face. "Then sleep, I won't talk anymore."

He kissed her in return. "Goodnight, my Clarisse."

"Goodnight." She touched his face before snuggling up next to him, revelling in his warmth and the feel of his heart beating beneath her face.

Closing her eyes she tried to sleep but found she wasn't all that tired, lifting her head slightly she glanced across to the clock. It was still only early, only just gone 8:00, her plans hadn't included an early night but she certainly couldn't deny him it, he had worked so hard these past two weeks.

Stroking her fingers across his chest, up his neck and down his arm Clarisse felt restless. She lay back attempting to get comfy. Perhaps she would linger here for a few moments more and then slide off the bed and go and read for a while, he would still be there when she returned.

She turned again and felt a hand grip her waist.

"Stop fidgeting." He mumbled kissing her head.

"I'm not tired." She whispered.

He sighed and settled again, holding her body against his.

"Joseph…" she whispered.

"Mmm."

"Joseph…" She reached for his hand again and squeezed it, circling his wedding band with her finger. "We've had such a year… not quite a year, I didn't even begin to imagine that married life could be so damned difficult."

He held her tighter.

"But every second has been worth it," She quickly added.

"It has. And every second gets better. We will be fine."

"Better than fine. We will be together."

"That's all I ever wanted."

She lifted her mouth to his for a sweet kiss. "Sleep well Mr. Romerro."

"And you, Mrs. Romerro."

* * *

_Well we certainly hoped you liked that little slice of sweetness :-) Please leave us a note xRhonda_


	26. part 26

**Disclaimer: **We don't own the characters nor anything relating to PD - rest assured if we did the wango scene would not have been trimmed down!

**Author's Note:** SORRY it's taken so long to update, real life has kinda been getting in the way, we promise to get part 27 up alot quicker. Nearing the end of this saga now, we have another 8 chapters already written YEY - so please do try and stick with us. And enjoy of course!

* * *

**Mixed Signals _- Part 26_**

The morning dawned in light grey; it was slightly foggy and already showing signs of becoming very hot again. Hopefully, he would manage to get the bulk of his work done before that, the man, stepping outside the palace, thought to himself.

First of all, however, he would do a little jogging. Whistling quietly for the white standard poodle, he cast a short appraising glance over the terrace and manicured lawns.

Security was tight and watching. Good!

"Come on Mo, lets run a little before it becomes too hot and Mommy wakes up." The man said, starting off at an easy pace. In his mind he continued the sentence with ill-disguised amusement. 'Though I sincerely doubt it will be anytime soon that she joins the land of the living.'

His wife was by no means a morning person, never had been, never would be. Only duty and necessity brought her out of bed at an early hour. Mia resembled her in more ways than she would believe and Clarisse admit.

Admittedly, 6:30 was almost sickeningly early, especially after last night, but he had woken up at some point and been too restless to go back to sleep. Not wanting to disturb her, he had quietly slipped out of their bed and decided on a morning run to clear his mind, before settling down to work.

Doing the routine of jogging, the simple task of setting one leg before the other in a well-timed manner, breathing in and out at well-measured intervals indeed calmed the man. The early birds, chirping in the bushes and trees, and the smell of blossoms indeed eased his tense mind. Of course, he knew what had made him so restless that not even her warm and fragrant body in his arms could relax him.

The envelope would be on his desk by now. Charlotte would have seen to that the evening before. Just thinking about the contents made him feel tense again. It just screamed long hours in his office and on many planes. He would be on the run again all the time, trying to organize things perfectly and in time, easing tempers, convincing backers, sweet talk politicians into supporting their cause.

There would be no more nights like the last one for quite some time and certainly no such wonderful and relaxing weeks like the last one.

He had actually never thought that vacationing at home could be that enjoyable and relaxing. He would have never believed that with all the personnel and the other prying eyes on them they would be able to fully relax, but his wife, she was a wonder.

He could almost see Mia's face turning in a grimace of relief, when she wouldn't have to go through the paperwork and the public appearances alone anymore. He could almost hear the war whoops she would secretly do.

It must have come as quite a shock to the young queen to hear that her grandmother had cancelled all appointments of the week and refused to take on any paperwork, claiming that she intended to spend the week entirely with him.

And what a week it had been. Snuggling up in front of the fire or in bed during the rainy days, dancing in the ballroom just after lunch and at night in the privacy of their suite. Leisurely walking through the woods at the edges of the palace grounds, riding on the beach, having picnics in the green meadows of the grounds and dancing on the blanket. Even going shopping and out to dinner, ignoring every eye that was on them – the days had been pure heaven. And the nights, oh what bliss they were. Making love, tenderly, gently, wild, passionate, simple, creative or not at all, it didn't matter.

Nothing mattered as long as she was close to him. So close to him, physically, but even more so in her mind and soul. And last night…

He closed his eyes for a second relishing the memory. Maurice's short demanding bark did nothing to shake him out of his musings…

How she had looked last night, how she had smiled, how her body had felt against his.

Briefly he wondered if she had already known that their time of bliss was coming to an end and if it was because of this that she had arranged the evening, but then he decided, it didn't matter.

The scene would remain on his mind for a long time, keeping him warm at night, when he had to spend it in a lonely hotel bed again.

The gazebo – he chuckled slightly – how important this structure was for their relationship. Just how many life-altering things had happened there? Their first personal conversation on a rainy day, the overwhelming shock when he realized that he was in love with her, just like the moment when he realized just how trapped she was in her marriage. The minutes he had desperately tried to calm himself before going to her suite and tell her that her son was dead. Their very first kiss, in a rain shower again, and how shocked they both had been at his boldness, at her almost involuntary response. His proposal. Their one-month anniversary, when their dancing had so gotten out of control that they barely made it back to their bedroom.

Last night, those moments of utter bliss, dining together all by themselves, dancing to slow jazz and an even slower version of the Wango – barely dancing mostly swaying against each other, exchanging sweet kisses.

The candles had burned low, then fluttered out without them even realizing it.

He had been too lost in her, in the sparkling of her eyes. Her fingers had moved slowly gently over his neck. They soothed him and excited him at the same time. Her perfume, always overwhelming him, had enveloped him, putting them both into a cocoon of sensuality. Of happiness. But most of all of love.

Her body moulding against his, her arms around his neck, her hands leisurely drawing invisible paintings on his back, while he pulled her against him as tightly as possible. Her mouth either brushing over his skin or whispering sweet words of love, he knew he had found paradise.

She had become quite adept at speaking Spanish. Their murmured words of love mixed the languages. They no longer knew which they used, didn't care either.

He was happy, he couldn't deny it. So happy, so content.

It was such a beautiful week, such a beautiful night.

It was so perfect, just like his wife, just like their love.

But it would be over for the time being.

His usual morning round was almost finished. The large building of the palace loomed before him and with it the knowledge of the work to come.

In a way, he was excited to start the next part of his project. He did good work, important work, and was recognised for it. He loved being an elementary help in furthering education in Genovia, furthering the development of his beloved – yes – home country. And admittedly, he was even happy to get back into the swing of things.

Still the bliss of the last days would be over.

And he couldn't help but wonder if the new project would not bring new trouble for their marriage.

"Good morning, Sir Joseph."

"Charlotte, how often do I need to tell you not to call me 'Sir'? We are friends."

The young woman blushed. "I know, 'Joe', I'm just trying to… well…to… you know what I mean. The mail is already on your desk."

Joseph sighed. "I expected as much." He turned around and whistled. "Come, Maurice, lets see if your Mommy is already up and willing to have breakfast with us." Walking into the palace, followed closely by the white dog, he mentally added. "And then back to work it is…"

* * *

Clarisse was fussing, she knew it, and she was aware he knew it too but he was allowing her to do it anyway. He sat back in the chair watching her, a half smile on his face, legs outstretched, relaxed and preparing himself for leaving.

Clarisse was going through the pile of clothes on the bed and rearranging them into the suitcase once again, they had people to do this; in fact a maid had already packed everything he'd asked for. Yet Clarisse insisted she do it, he didn't mind, not in the slightest. Somehow it seemed normal, something normal in their otherwise insane world. Something that a wife might do were she not a member of the royal family.

"You really don't need this, do you?" She asked holding up a rather brightly coloured tie.

He smiled. "It was a gift from Mia, said I needed brightening up, I thought it would please her if she spotted it on the front of some newspaper."

"Oh very well." She shrugged placing it gently alongside the others.

"Clarisse honey you know you don't have to do this, I'm sure everything will be fine."

"I know, but fine may not be right." She sighed again folding his pyjama top. "What time is your flight?"

"I leave for the airport in an hour." He said twisting his watch on his wrist.

"Is that all?" She gasped unthinking. "Well, then we'd better hurry with this hadn't we."

He had to laugh, the packing had been done the night before, it was she who had unpacked it again.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing." He shook his head getting up from the chair and crossing the bedroom. "Nothing at all." His hands slid around her waist and he kissed the back of her neck.

"Your shoulders are tense my dear." He said gently swaying his body with hers.

"I'm just… well I hate to fly, and I hate to think of you flying, I prefer it when you're safe on the ground."

"Rome isn't too far." He kissed her again. "Relax, leave that, talk to me."

She leant back against him, still clutching a shirt. Her eyes closed as he continued to kiss her neck.

"What's on your mind, hmm?" He whispered soothingly. "Why don't you tell me?"

"It's nothing, silly really, I'll just… I enjoyed these past few weeks so very much, I'll miss you."

"And I you. It won't be for long. And you might be able to come and join me for the weekend."

She nodded. "Perhaps, Mia is awfully busy this week, I don't like leaving her under so much pressure, she's only young."

"I know, I know." He kissed her head.

"Oh it's not like we haven't had time apart before it's just that, somehow, we're getting somewhere… aren't we?" She turned in his arms. "I feel we've finally reached this…" she flailed searching for the words.

"Cosy little married couple haven." He smiled.

"And now you finish my sentences."

He reached up to stroke her face. "I don't think we'll lose that now."

She nodded. "I know, I feel we've grown so much this year, together, despite the mistakes…"

"Well they do say it helps you grow stronger."

"They do? Who are they?" She smiled teasing his nose with hers.

"People." He shrugged. "All knowing people."

His mouth moved over hers smoothly and assuredly, she responded in kind, her grip tightening around her shoulders.

She moaned into his mouth and he pulled back slightly tucking her hair behind her ear.

"Shall we go for a stroll before the car arrives?"

She nodded. "What about the packing?"

"Oh I'm sure we can finish that in two minutes between us."

* * *

**  
**

Naturally they had needed more than two minutes and if he hadn't put his foot down, it might have taken them almost ten minutes or more. He shook his head.Clarisse was anything but a fast packer. However, he believed her fussing had more to do with her reluctance to let him see just how much problems she had with their parting.

He hid his problems, or if he was honest, displayed them by not being able to let go of her body. He had to hold on to her hand or keep his arms around her shoulders, just to feel her be there.

Of course their walk had distorted into a kissing session. Every few steps they had stopped to snuggle up in each other's arms and to share a kiss that had quickly escalated into desperate embraces. They had barely made it to the fountain and back.

It was a good thing that Clarisse had a meeting with Lords Blake and Jerome as well as Prime Minister Motaz right after he had to leave. Thus, they had been able to say goodbye in the relative privacy of the palace.

And thus, no paparazzo had seen their tight embrace, had heard their whispered words of love and farewell. And luckily, nobody had seen the tears she had so desperately tried to hold. Yet, they had been completely obvious to him, for hehimself had fought them.

It was incredible, how a few days could evaporate all desire to be an important and busy man.

Of course, he still wanted to work for the board, wanted to further their cause. Genovia did not have so many resources to work with and furthering education was the best thing to hold up the country's wealth. Joseph knew that, even better since he himself had climbed the social ladder through education and working successfully. He also liked to be heard by politicians, socialites and experts, liked that they asked him for advice, valued his opinions. Finally, he thoroughly enjoyed the business.

However, being parted from Clarisse was a serious let down. He had left her less than four hours ago and he already missed her almost painfully.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, in a few minutes we will arrive at Leonardo da Vinci airport in Rome. Please extinguish your seatbelts and fasten your cigarettes, while we prepare for landing. We thank you for flying with us today and hope to be able to welcome you aboard again soon."

His head shot up at the words. What was that? A short look over to the man in the other row confirmed it, he had really heard that.

Shaking his head with an exasperated sigh, Joseph pulled at his seatbelt and prepared himself for the landing. It would be a long five days.

* * *

_PLEASE let us know what you think... x R & S_


	27. part 27

**Disclaimer: **Don't own them, probably never will, but we can dream...

**Author's Note:** Well of course this chapter is cut - it will become obvious as you read on... if you wanna be bad & see the full version it's available on my site or if you email me I'll happily send it to you. Enjoy!

**Part 27**

The air was filled with animated chatter and the twinkling of the nearby fountain. Rome in the beginning of June was already full of tourists and, naturally, they were all crowding around the Trevi Fountain. Joseph couldn't blame them; it was indeed one of the most beautiful places in the world.

From his seat on the restaurant terrace he had a stunning view over the square. Leaning back in his chair he felt a faint smile creeping over his features. All those people who threw coins into the water, hoping to return one day. He had been one of them too, during his first visit to the eternal city, some forty years ago. It had been his first job as a security guard, his first trip abroad in that job. With a blush he remembered, how overwhelmed he had been by the grandness and beauty of thecity, how open-mouthed and wide-eyed, he had stared at all the sights. He was a naïve adolescent back then, he knew, an uncut diamond so to speak. Not better than the tourists down there taking the same pictures that millions of others had taken before.

Well, despite his climbing the career ladder and refining his appearances and image, one thing had not changed. During every subsequent visit he had come to the fountain and thrown a coin into the water. The first years with the wish to return, later with the wish to return with her by his side. It had not happened yet.

Joseph sighed. The evening was beautiful; the nights sky dark velvet, the air balmy, the lights warm and intimate, the chatter unobtrusive. It would have been perfect to sit here with her, staring into her bottomless eyes twinkling with the reflection of the lights. They could have, and probably would have, held hands, enjoying a glass of wine, seeing the people walk by at a leisurely pace. Then after their dinner, they would have gone down to the fountain themselves, he would have kissed her and then thrown his coin - for the first time in his life wishing that everything stayed exactly the way it was.

He closed his eyes and laid his head back a little. The gentle wind was warm and pleasant against his skin, almost like the feathery touch of her fingertips. He sighed to himself; this was going to be another long night without her. Probably time to take out that red baby doll thing again. Chuckling to himself, Joseph was glad nobody could hear his thoughts. They'd probably think him a total pervert for carrying a piece of woman's lingerie with him and pulling it out to breath in the scent of his wife.

Taking another sip of his wine he stared off into space trying to pointedly ignore the couple on the next table. He wanted to dream, dream about her.

So concentrated was he on this that he almost missed the scraping of the metal chair on the pavement, behind his back.

"Una grappa, per favour." A female voice called for the waiter.

Joseph felt a stab of, he didn't know what exactly, but the stab was clearly there. He would recognize that voice anywhere.

All of a sudden all the chatter and hum of the evening faded out of his conscious. Suddenly he could hear the drumming of her fingers on the table top, the heavy breathing and the soft sighs of pain relieved.

She was tired. She was exhausted. Most of all she was annoyed.

He smiled to himself. There was nothing she could ever do to prevent him from recognizing her.

With an amused grin, he turned in his seat. He considered briefly whether to tap her on the shoulder, but decided against it. She did not like such things. However, she did like his voice.

"Don't you think it is too dangerous to drink such strong liquor?"

"Well, I'll drink whatever I damn well please, mister. Besides, it is none of your business." She shot around, her annoyance level rising exponentially. How dare this stranger question her drinking habits? All she needed after this horrendous day was some busybody invading her hard-earned rest.

She swung around. "Joseph!"

He smirked. "Still none of my business?"

She frowned exasperatedly. "Really now. I don't know what you are worried about. I can take it."

"Maybe you can, but you do know that I am the one to carry you home."**  
**  
"Oh, tosh."

"Signora? Does that man bother you?" The waiter asked protectively, while placing the drink on the table.

She smiled the way that charmed the masses every day. "Only in the way I like to be bothered."

Joseph almost choked. The waiter's eyes widened considerably and he quickly made his escape.

"Clarisse…!" Joseph sounded scandalized.

His wife only snorted. "After a day like this, I'm surprised I was even that polite."

The smirk seemed to be irremovable from his face. "But strong liquor, darling."

"Yes. I deserve it. Would you believe those incompetent plane people managed to lose my luggage. First they double-checked it and then they managed to lose it one the way from Genovia to Rome. How can they lose my luggage? Then my car was stuck in a traffic jam from the airport and I missed you in the hotel. So, I asked theconcierge to tell me where you had gone. He didn't know and I just went searching and I had all but given up on finding you. And… what's so funny, Joseph?"

He could no longer hold his laughter in. Clarisse's exasperation was too funny. She was too funny, too endearing the way she was worked up over the flaws of travelling. "Darling. Darling, it is alright." He finally got up from his chair and turned it, so that he was facing her. He took her hands in his, stroking them reassuringly with his thumbs. "It is alright. They'll find your luggage. And you have found me. It is fine."

"Yes, yes, but can you believe the cheek of it? They lost my suitcases. And all the stores are closed. I have nothing to wear." She paused for a second to take a deep breath. "Stop laughing at me Joseph. This is not funny."

Cupping her cheek, he ran his thumb tenderly over her lips. "I know, my darling. Still, you are just too… how does Mia say, cute."

"I am not cute. I am annoyed." Clarisse could no longer keep up the pretence of anger and joined him in his laughter. Leaning forward, she pulled his face close to hers. "Hello, darling. I missed you."

He smiled broadly. "I missed you too, my love."

They met halfway in a sweet kiss. However, sweet did not last long. Three days of separation made sure of it. The moment their lips met, passion erupted between them, making them strain closer to each other, lips parting, tongues meeting and battling sensually.

Only the need for air caused them to break apart.

"Lets go." Clarisse whispered.

Joseph followed her without hesitation, throwing a few banknotes onto the table.

The couple never saw the incredulous faces, never heard the curious and excited whispers. There was no need and no place in their minds for such trivialities.

Outside the restaurant, he took her hand in his and led her down to the fountain.

Clarisse smiled serenely at the lights reflecting in the water. Laying her head on her husband's shoulder, she asked: "Did you ever throw a coin into the water?"

She could feel his sheepish smile without seeing it. "Every time, I come to Rome I throw a coin in here."

Her smile became a little watery. "Me too. I always wished to come back here and find love. And then, when I knew I had found love, I wanted to come back here with him."

Holding his breath for a split second, he tightened his arm around her shoulder."And did you?"

She raised her head from his shoulder and smiled into his eyes. "Yes." She said gently, reassuringly.

He leaned down to press a quick, but tender kiss to her mouth. "I dreamed about being here with you too. Just a few minutes ago, I wished for you to be here with me, so that we could throw a coin into the water together. And…" He took a deep breath. "Now you are here and I can no longer wish for anything. It all came true."

The gesture came unbidden and without thought. Cupping his cheek tenderly was such a natural thing to her; she no longer realized that she was doing it. "I know how you feel, darling. I feel the same. But do you have a coin? I know of one wish, I have for us."

Joseph didn't ask. There was no need for it. He only searched for a coin. It was a Gen D'Or with her profile, but that didn't matter. Placing it in her open palm, he wanted to withdraw his hand, but she quickly held onto him. "No," she whispered, "together. It is a wish for the both of us. We should throw it together."

He nodded in understanding.

"Close your eyes."

He did that as well.

She held his hand warmly in hers, the coin being like a connection between their skin. Then she raised their hands quickly and let go. Instinctively, he did the same and heard the distinct plink of a solid material hitting the surface.

Looking deeply into his wife's eyes, he asked: "What did you wish for?"

She didn't answer, only smiled at him. And then he knew.

"Lets go home, darling."

* * *

Clarisse gripped the back of the chair, eyes closed, mouth open as she breathed deeply. Joseph behind her pressed into her backside, licking her neck, whispering her name. His voice was deep and rough, almost desperate in his need to be with her and share his innermost thoughts and feelings. This wasn't gentle lovemaking, this was raw need and desire surfacing… and she relished every second.

He hadn't realised he was this horny when he'd been sitting alone in that café thinking about her, in fact it wasn't until they'd walked back to the hotel and been alone together in the elevator that he'd felt the overwhelming urge to take her there and then on the elevator floor. They'd kissed pressed up against the wall, tongues duelling and tasting and savouring each other, his hands roaming over her body, her arms holding him tightly against her, moulding his body to hers. If they'd waited two minutes longer to reach their floor it would have been too long and neither one would have been able to drag themselves apart and stumble from the elevator door to their room.

There wasn't even time to find a light switch, Clarisse dropping her handbag as she entered the room. Joseph following her, loosening his shirt as he did so. She was slowly walking across the room, glancing out of the balcony window to the clear night sky and then she'd leant on the back of the chair as she slipped her shoes off and he'd lost control grabbing her from behind and attacking her neck with his mouth.

* * *

Leaning together over the back of the chair Joseph's mouth continued to kiss her upper back, she struggled for a few seconds to settle her breathing. She squeezed the cushion in her hand and closed her eyes; it was suddenly so hot in the room and her throat felt so dry and tight.

"My love…" He whispered warmly. "You're so very beautiful. I missed you. I missed your smile."

"You did?" She tilted her head backwards a little in an attempt to see his face.

"Yes, of course, every second we're apart."

She stood up straight leaning back against his firm body, revelling in his smell as it surrounded her. His kisses slowed down, he languidly caressed her skin and lifted his face to her hair. His arms circled her waist and rested on her stomach. He nibbled on her earlobe and she smiled.

"Oh you make me feel…" She sighed tracing her fingertips across his hand.

"How do I make you feel?"

She waited for a few seconds mulling her next words. "I don't know… you make me feel things I never even knew existed." Her smile was faint yet warm. "You make me feel so attractive, even…" she shook her head amused at herself. "Even sexy. I mean who would have ever thought that I would have done something like that… be standing here barely dressed making love up against the armchair."

He laughed against her neck. "Oh I'm not sure about that, I think deep down you're the one who leads me astray."

She spun in his arms, a look of pure shock on her face. "What are you insinuating Sir!"

He gently slid his hand down her face. "That you, my darling, are quite feisty these days."

"Feisty?" She cocked an eyebrow. "Well I don't think I've ever been called that before, in my many years of newspaper reports."

She dropped her arms to her sides as he removed her blouse completely and laid it over the back of the chair. Then he bent slightly and removed her skirt, she rested a hand on his shoulder as she stepped out of it. Oddly she found the act of him undressing her deeply erotic, yet at the same time such a tender caress.

"Oh Joseph what shall I wear tomorrow?"

"They might have located your suitcases by then." He replied folding her skirt and laying it next to the blouse. "Besides there are shops in the hotel, I'm sure I can be trusted to find one item that will suffice for the morning."

"And tonight, what shall I wear tonight?"

He smirked. "I wasn't planning on you wearing anything tonight."

She smiled as his arms circled her waist again. "And I wasn't planning on wearing anything neither." He kissed her mouth. "Clarisse, my darling, allow me to take you to bed."

She stepped back and graciously bowed her head before his strong comforting arms lifted her up and carried over to the crisp sheets of the elaborate bed.

* * *

The room, though unfamiliar, felt strangely comforting and homely. Clarisse lay on her side gazing across the room to the French windows; from the roof terrace she could see the clear almost starless sky. The moon was high and full and flooded the room with light. Joseph's body was pressed against hers, one arm looped over her waist, the other stroking her bare arm. The silk sheets gathered around her hips and she realised rather smugly that they were hanging over her side of the bed and pooling on the floor. Arching her neck she cast a glance over his body and smiled at the sight of his naked backside.

As she returned her head to the pillow Joseph stirred and slowly opened his eyes. He kissed the back of her neck and tightened his hold on her waist.

"What are you thinking about as you lay there?" He whispered, lifting his hand from her arm to stroke her hair.

"I'm thinking, how very comfortable I am, and how much I love being in Rome with you."

"Hmm, it's quite a shame I have to go anywhere tomorrow, I could quite happily stay here forever." He kissed her shoulder closing his eyes again.

"I'd wear you out." She teased. "After all I am rather 'feisty'." She stretched her body out and turned onto her back raising her arms above her head.

Her movements caused the remaining sheets to slide to the floor and she gasped clutching at them and pulling them back onto the bed.

"Leave them." He said placing his hand on her stomach.

"No, I'll get cold." She sat up dragging the sheets fully onto the bed and fussing as she rearranged them over their bodies.

Satisfied she turned to face Joseph and lay over him, placing her chin on his chest.

"Comfortable?" He asked.

"A-ha, I think so."

"Good, do you still need something to wear for bed my dear?"

"Why do you ask?" She asked lying her head down.

"Well it just so happens I have a little something of yours." He said absently.

"You do." She replied amused. "Which would be?"

"It's rather embarrassing." He said moving a little beneath her. "Do you recall a certain item of negligee you wore once to… well to seduce me?"

Her head shot up. "Which one?"

"A certain red and black lace item."

Her cheeks first paled then reddened. "But, but you hated that, we argued."

"I know. We shouldn't have." He brushed the hair back from her forehead.

"I thought, well I'm not sure what I thought, that the maids had disposed of it, when I couldn't find it the next morning – I never bothered to look for it again."

"I took it with me, I sound like some kind of strange pervert don't I…" He took a deep breath. "But it wasn't for that at all, it, it smelled of you."

She raised an eyebrow.

"In a lovely way." He quickly added. "Your perfume, the scent of your skin, and of course you did look wickedly divine in it."

"Your response certainly didn't convey that at the time."

"I know, but we were hardly working together at that point were we."

"No…" she said half-heartedly.

They were silent for a while, Clarisse moved from his body and returned to lying on her side. After giving a few moments alone Joseph returned to lying behind her and tentatively slipped his arm around her again.

"Clarisse, darling." He whispered. "Have I upset you?"

"No," she swallowed. "No." she reached down and squeezed his hand reassuringly. "It just surprised me, made me feel a little uncomfortable to recall wearing that, behaving so idiotically." She sighed heavily. "I guess I'm a little embarrassed by it."

"But you have no need to be, I'm sorry I was wrong to keep it all these months, I didn't mean to upset you."

She smiled turning to face him. "You haven't upset me. Really, it's fine." She kissed his mouth gently. "I'm tired Joseph."

"All right."

He stroked her back as she lay her head down next to his and closed her eyes, not entirely sure she was perfectly all right, but certainly not wishing to push the conversation any further. He knew by now when Clarisse didn't want to pursue a subject and certainly this was one of those moments. Still he cursed himself for raising the subject of the negligee and decided that he would get rid of it as soon as possible.

* * *

_Please leave us a review - let us know what you think... thanks R & S_


	28. part 28

**Disclaimer:** Don't own, don't make any money from it... but we're working on that!

**Author's Note:** Just when you think it's all going well... enjoy people.

****

**Mixed Signals- _Part 28_**

Clarisse didn't awake until almost lunchtime, Joseph of course was gone and she was actually quite glad to be alone. Upon waking her mind flooded with memories of the previous night; greeting him unexpectedly in that little restaurant, the overwhelming feeling of pure comfort sweeping through her as they held hands and walked the streets of Rome together, making love to him three times in that darkened unfamiliar hotel room.

Then she recalled the brief conversation of the negligee, the feeling of him keeping something from her, of perhaps laughing at her about it. She knew it was wrong, that Joseph's reasons for keeping it were purely because of love and the need to have something of hers near whilst away. But still she couldn't stop herself asking the question why take that? Why not take a nightgown, one she hadn't been embarrassed to wear, or a pair of her gloves that would easily fit into his luggage.

Exasperated with herself she finally climbed out of bed, her mind was going round in circles and she was becoming frustrated. She felt a little angry with him and then she felt angry with herself for being angry at him because she didn't want to be, she wanted them to have a perfectly wonderful few days here together and it was being ruined by her over-analytical mind and now she was exhausted and confused and oh…… Oh damn it!

She ordered lunch and flopped down into the chair by the window. It was only now she noted the dreadful weather outside, heavy rain pounded against the windows, so much for sightseeing. On the table in front of her was a folded newspaper and several letters, some Joseph had opened. She glanced through them hoping to find a note of some kind for her; he was usually so sweet leaving her little messages simply saying 'good morning' or 'meet me for lunch.' It was these little things she realised that made it all so very important. Alas there was no note to be found and she sat back in her chair folding her arms.

The answer machine on the side behind her caught her eye and smiling brightly she twisted round and pressed the play button. After listening to a rather dull message from Joseph's newly appointed PA organising the time of his car that morning a female voice came on the line.

"Sorry I missed you this morning, I just wanted to confirm that we're meeting next week, I know how busy you are these days…" she paused. "Well just wanted to check you hadn't forgotten me. Speak to you soon."

She said 'Bye' in an almost breathless girly voice and Clarisse felt her grip instinctively tighten on the arms of the chair she was sitting in. Surely this wasn't all starting again… not now, after everything they'd been through…

* * *

The hours of the day dragged by and to Clarisse it felt as if they would never end. She had no energy to do anything, had not even managed to dress herself in her old clothes to acquire some new, yet at the same time she felt a restlessness that had not been there for months. Not since…

She had considered briefly to search his belongings to find out, who this girl might have been before she recoiled from the fact that the mere thought had entered her mind.

This was ridiculous. Simply because some woman called her husband to remind him of a meeting, it didn't mean that he was having an affair. Why should he? He had everything in his bed that he needed. Her! He had told her so times and again and proved it just the night before.

She was enough to stir and sate his passions. Even without all the … It was that baby doll. If only they hadn't talked about it. If only he hadn't brought it up.

Clarisse shook her head, getting out of the chair and stepping up to the window. She had really thought she had overcome all her insecurities. Their marriage was strong; there was no doubt about it. Joseph loved her. He desired her and proved it every moment they were together. To him she was beautiful, desirable, sexy even and she had thought that her self-doubts were finally a thing of the past. But that negligee had opened up old wounds. Suddenly she had remembered her fear of that night, her embarrassment and her shame.

That was probably the problem, with those memories surfacing suddenly she considered every woman a threat again. Swallowing deeply, Clarisse turned her head at the sound of a knock on the door and came to a decision. No, not this time. Not the same disaster again. This time she would give him the chance to explain, even demand an explanation, but until then, she would trust him. She loved Joseph and he loved her - enough to forsake all others as they had sworn at their wedding. This time, she would overcome her fear with him.

* * *

The day had been a tiresome for him and all Joseph wanted was to fall down onto the couch in his hotel room, have a snifter of cognac with Clarisse and then relax with her in his arms. He would probably need to apologize again for his idiotic mention of the negligee, but after that they could just settle down and enjoy their quiet evening.

Stepping inside their suite, he noted that Clarisse had already lowered the lights and that soft classical music was filling the room. Chopin.

Joseph cringed. Chopin. He cringed once more. He was not overly fond of that music. It was too melancholy for his taste. Clarisse knew that and had actually agreed with him on that. If she put it on, then there was trouble ahead.

"Darling, I'm back." He called, trying to keep his apprehension out of his voice.

The music stopped immediately and Clarisse came out of the bedroom to greet him.

As he pulled her into a warm embrace, he involuntarily released a relieved sigh. She had been smiling sincerely at him, so whatever had made her choose that music was not related to the conversation of last night.

"Chopin, darling?"

She shrugged. "I called the reception and asked for something classical to fit the mood of the day. Apparently the entire staff was depressed by the weather."

"What about you?" he asked carefully.

"You mean, am I depressed? No. However, I needed some music to unpack. They have found my luggage."

He heaved another sigh of relief. So he could get rid of the baby doll more easily. Good.

She stepped back and turned to the bedroom again. "I still need to finish unpacking." She said and started for the other room. "Oh and there is a message for you on the machine."

Joseph looked after her, not sure what to make of this. Somehow her business and calmness didn't wash with him. If she had not been in the mood for this, she would have simply returned the music. And why would she so desperately need to unpack her luggage. They would leave tomorrow afternoon. And why did she not simply tell him, what the caller had said.

Worry sprang up on him like a shadow. Certainly there were not going to slip back into the same pattern as they had followed during his supposed illness. Surely, she didn't think that he… Oh damn it, were they going through the same again? Was it starting again?

Wearily he started for the side table and pushed the button on the answering machine to listen to the message. Anna's voice was heard, reminding him of their meeting next week. Anna! He had almost forgotten about this. Heaven's, he had not even told Clarisse about the invitation.

Taking a deep steadying breath, he held onto the side table for support. The phone call… If she had retrieved the messages and had heard this particular one… and had put two and two together… and in her mind it had made five. Oh heaven's, Clarisse and her overactive imagination, when she felt insecure and after his idiotic move with the negligee…Oh gods, what was she thinking? What must she be thinking?

All of a sudden, his world was as bleak as the weather outside. Dark clouds and the cold moved in again. God, had he managed to upset their carefully and still vulnerable balance?

Joseph felt his knees buckle under the force of the fear that suddenly seized him. Not again. They could not go through this again, not after all they had been through to establish the understanding and the level of comfort between them.

Taking another deep breath to gather his jumbled thoughts, Joseph decided that, when it came down to it, he had only one choice.

The bedroom was surprisingly cold, when he stepped in. The drapes were half drawn and only one bedside lamp was lit. The closet on the right side of the room was open, but only a few of her clothes were actually hung up in it. Most of the others still resided in her open suitcase. Despite her earlier announcement, Clarisse was not busy unpacking. Instead she sat in a small chair beside the drapes. It was dark in the corner, but from memory he knew that this chair was all but comfortable. The cold fist that he had felt even before stepping into the suite squeezed his heart a little more. If Clarisse refused her creature comforts like this, then things were bad.

"Darling?" he tentatively asked.

Her voice was dark and he would have thought aloof, if it hadn't been for the tremor of fear he could detect. "Anything important?"

He swallowed. "More or less. The message was a personal one. Anna, my goddaughter, called to remind me of our meeting in Pyrus next week. I had been so busy with this trip that I forgot to confirm the meeting we had set up a few weeks ago."

She was stiffening even more in the chair, if that was possible. "Anna?" she almost choked on the name. Anna, the young woman, because of whom she had made such a fool of herself.

Clarisse had almost forgotten about her as a person, trying to push the memory of what her idea of this woman had almost done to her marriage to the far recesses of her mind. But now, the memory came back with a vengeance and all of a sudden the sharp pain in her heart was back as well.

She tried to sound as normal as possible, fighting to keep the quaver out of her voice. "I see. Anything important, you two were meeting over?"

Naturally, he heard the tremor.

It made him smile a bit. It wasn't that difficult now, to tell her. He pretended not to see or hear her struggle for calmness - or better for the façade of it. The more casual he was when he told her this, the better.

I took great care to keep the calm smile audible in his voice. "As a matter of fact, it is important. Anna is getting married in four weeks and she asked me to help her a bit when her family comes to the event. She thinks her parents might be more comfortable with having an old friend at hand. I agreed to play sort of a host for Jorge and Carmen, when they came to their daughter's wedding…"

Clarisse's posture had not loosened considerably, he reckoned with an inward sigh. Things were worse already than he had expected. How many hours had she played out this conversation in her mind? How many hours had she dreaded it?

"Darling," he finally said gently, "it is cold in here. Lets go and settle down in front of the fireplace. I'd rather be comfortable telling you all the details about this wedding."

He could clearly hear the frown on her face, heard it in her voice. "The wedding details?" She was wondering, why in heaven's name she should be included in the wedding details, a woman who had almost - though accidentally - wrecked their marriage.

He took a step closer, extending his hand to her. "You must know, my darling, because we are both invited to attend the festivities. Anna and Adrian asked us to attend their wedding and the reception afterwards."

"Me too?" She sounded surprised, almost incredulous. The feeling reflected in her face, her eyes were wide and full of question, her posture still stiff, though now, with the lights from the sitting room he could see that it was more fear than anger.

Joseph stopped just two steps into the living room and pulled her into his embrace. Chuckling, he held her face pressed to his chest, while his free hand drew soothing circles on her back. "Yes, you too, my darling." He said into her hair, feeling her relax into his arms. "You are my wife and it is natural that we are invited together now."

"But I… after all the…"

"No Clarisse. You are my wife and Anna accepts you as that. Despite what you feared the relationship between Anna and I was, we never did have a relationship."

He looked at her earnestly during those words.

"I…" she started to say, but he put a silencing finger to her lips.

"I was never interested in Anna in any other way than as my goddaughter. I could never look at her any differently, even if it were not for you. Yet, I have you and all my dreams and all my waking thoughts are of you. Any woman pales against you and I have every intention to show you off at the wedding."

She blushed at his words just as much as at his boyish grin. Still, her insecurity reared its ugly head. "Do they really want me to be there?"

He smiled, running his palm tenderly over her cheek. "Yes. They asked me again and again if you could really make it. And I assured them that both our schedules were free for that day."

Seeing a small smile form on her face, he took her hand and gently pulled her towards the sofa. Sitting down, her pulled her against him, so that her head was resting against his chest, his arm around her shoulder, his other hand tenderly stroking her arm that was draped over him.

"It is going to be a real Spanish/Genovian wedding. All members of Anna's family are coming. It's going to be a big affair, just for the number of people," his voice sounded excited, enthusiastic even.

Clarisse however felt her heart constrict. The entire clan there. All of them knowing Joseph from his boyhood. She would never fit in there. She would be the awkward one, standing out, stared at by everybody.

'A real Spanish/Genovian wedding' - as they should have had. Not some rushed up, all of a sudden, unplanned event, with hundreds of TV-cameras and journalists there. Not the kind of ceremony it should have been, but a highly publicised scandal…

She had never stopped to think what his old friends thought about their marriage. What people, who mattered to him, thought of them, of her. She had never met any of them. What if they met and they found her lacking, found her to be less than they expected, less than this image that was built up around her? What if…

If they knew about her treatment of Anna…

And Anna herself? Could she face the young woman, who she had accused of seducing her husband? Could she expect forgiveness?

Could she…?

What did he say?

"I beg your pardon?" she asked, her confusion obvious.

"Darling?" he was confused as well.

She looked up into his dear face, her hand coming up to trace the contours of his profile. His jaw, his nose, his brows and finally his lips. She suppressed a delighted giggle, when he quickly kissed her index finger and shoved her worries into the far recesses of her mind, hoping that they would stay hidden,

"I was lost in thought, my dear. I didn't hear what you have said." She admitted sheepishly.

He shook his head in mock-desperation, inwardly glad that her mood had lightened again. He did not dare to dwell on the possibilities of her bottling up another bout of insecurity. The last time she had done so, it had almost ripped their marriage apart. "Would you believe that? Here I am going on, inventing one colourful compliment after the other and you are not even listening to my efforts."

Clarisse laughed again. "I am so sorry, kind sir. The effort is appreciated. Though, I would be even more appreciative if you could make the effort again." The glint in her eyes turned seductive and she pressed herself closer to him, her hand wandering from its resting place against his chest downward.

His eyes became a darker shade as her hand reached its target. His voice was thick with emotion and rising heat. "I was saying that I… I plan on showing off my beautiful wife, who is very elegant, very graceful, very gorgeous…" he leaned forward to catch her lips in a gentle kiss that quickly grew heated, "absolutely stunning and…" his hands became busy as well, as he slowly lowered himself backwards onto the sofa taking her down with him, "incredibly sexy and," the last words were quickly followed by a moan, "an irresistible seductress."

Words ceased altogether when the room became filled with the sounds and smells of love, as the couple drowned their worries in the passion of their love.

The small voices inside the woman's head, however, only kept silent for the time being, waiting for their perfect opportunity to reappear…

* * *

_Please leave us a little review - thanks! xx Rhonda & Suse_


	29. part 29

**Disclaimer:** Don't own, don't make any money from it... but we're working on that!

**Author's Note:**Time to meet the inlaws

**Mixed Signals** - _part 29_

Late June was a haze of long hot days and heady summer evenings. Joseph had cleared his calendar for the summer and now spent the majority of his days enjoying the freedom that came with his new life. He took himself off into the extensive grounds, whether it be horse riding or simply a long walk. Settled down by the river and painted whatever captured his imagination. Sometimes Clarisse would join him but she was renowned for being an incredibly bad artist and usually gave up with her efforts and simply relaxed in the sunshine reading.

He'd also given up much of his time to assisting Anna in the planning of her upcoming wedding. Well his role had been minor in the grand scheme of things but still somehow he felt he was helping by easily sorting out the flights and hotels for the guests. It would be good to see Anna's father Jorge again, they'd been inseparable friends whilst at school, along with Jorge's wife Carmen, who just happened to be Joe's second cousin. There was a time he longed for those school days when he was travelling the world alone, he would call them, write, send postcards. Yet somehow when their children came along he felt out of the loop, he supposed somehow he'd felt like that his entire life until he met Clarisse. As if he would never be part of a family, never meet somebody with whom he wanted to spend the rest of his life like Jorge had.

Things appeared to have come full circle now though. He had that commitment and belonging, his everything. He smiled at his reflection in the mirror as he straightened his tie; this was going to be a good day. Watching his goddaughter marry was a moment of joy and having his wife by his side to share it with him was only going to bring more joy. It was time Clarisse met his friends, time she became part of his entire life.

"What are you thinking about?"

He turned at the sound of her voice; she was leant on the doorframe between the dressing room and the bedroom.

"You're smiling to yourself, what's on your mind?"

"Just happy, incredibly happy." His smile widened. "You look very beautiful. That dress, the colour is perfect on you." He stepped towards her.

"Not too much for today? I don't wish to stand out."

"Honey you'd stand out if you were wearing black in the darkest night." He kissed her lightly on the forehead.

She reached up to his tie and fiddled with the knot he had just tied.

"I just did that." He said stroking her chin with his index finger.

"I know but I like to." She kissed the tip of his finger. "You seem different this morning… just, well, a little different."

"I'm just strangely excited at the prospect of watching little Anna marry, and you meeting my family and friends."

"Hmm, I'm surprised they don't all hate me."

"What?" his voice sounded oddly stretched as he caught her hands. "Why on earth would they hate you?"

She shrugged. "A wedding where none of your friends are invited, we've been married almost a year and I haven't met them, not even a drink or an invite to stay here… and the mess with Anna."

"Hey only three people know about this and two of them are here. And they don't blame you for the impromptu wedding, they're happy for me; happy we finally found each other. This year has hardly been normal darling; we've been through a hell of a lot, what with my new job… they'll just be happy you're there today. I'm happy to have you with me today."

"Thank you." She lifted their entwined hands and kissed his fingers. "But we shall see how it goes…"

She moved past him to glance in the mirror. "You really think the dress will pass?" She had chosen a pale blue wraparound dress, the skirt loose and floaty, the colour a perfect accentuate of summer.

"Beautiful." He rested his hands on her shoulders and kissed her head. "Now please relax Clarisse, I want you to enjoy today not to spend it worrying, come on, you've attended more political events than I care to count, this is for enjoyment."

"I know, I know. I'll just get my scarf and I'm ready. This is an outdoor wedding right."

"It was, they had a last minute change, worried about Carmen's allergies playing up, personally I think exchanging vows by the river would be perfect."

"Hmm, indeed."

* * *

Swirling the wine in her glass Clarisse marvelled at the way the sunlight caught the crystal and cast rainbow like sparkles in the air. She took another sip of the rich liquid and glanced across the river. Joseph was right, exchanging vows here would have been perfect, it's a shame they didn't stick to their original plan, though she couldn't deny the ceremony was beautiful. Initially she had felt rather out of place, like everyone was staring at her but as the room filled the pointed stares began to disappear. She clung onto Joseph's hand for the first hour, then as she was introduced to more of his friends she began to relax. 

They were warm, they were friendly, they welcomed her and she was exceptionally grateful for that. However the more she got to know about them and of them, the more time she spent in their company, the more guilty she felt about ignoring this part of Joseph's life for so long.

After dinner there had been several speeches, she had drunk too much wine and now needed the air. The space for a moment. She hadn't said anything to Joseph, simply slipped away when she had the chance. Now alone away from the other guests she had a chance to reflect on the day gone by.

It struck her as odd that despite everything she was still unable to look Anna in the eye, the last time she had been in the same room as the young lady she had ranted and raved about her husband having an affair. The memory still made her blush and she physically had to shake her head to clear the flood of embarrassment that swam into her stomach.

Deciding to walk a little Clarisse wandered around the side of the river until she reached the small bridge, she crossed to the middle and leant on the railing staring into the water. She lifted her head quickly when she heard voices approaching and was surprised to find the bride and groom heading towards her.

She watched as they stopped by the water edge and Adrian looped his arms around Anna's waist before kissing her lightly on the mouth. They looked so perfect together, so beautiful. It struck Clarisse that she was intruding observing this moment, perhaps the first quiet time that the newly married couple had managed to secure the entire day. Without reason she found herself crying, she turned her face away from the couple and back towards the water. It was the footsteps behind her that forced her to wipe her face dry a few moments later, heels clicking on the wooden bridge. She looked up slowly trying to bring her usual cool, calm demeanour into place.

"Hello, are you enjoying the view?" Anna's voice was rich, almost overflowing with joy as she approached Clarisse.

"Oh, I am, very much so. You look very beautiful my dear. The entire day has been beautiful. I'm not sure I told you congratulations."

"You did but thank you again." She leant on the railing next to Clarisse. "I'm a little overwhelmed."

"I can understand that, where is your husband?"

"Adrian has gone back inside, I just wanted a word with you."

"Oh?" She felt her body stiffen, her throat tighten.

"I know we didn't exactly meet under usual circumstances, I know it's awkward… for both of us, but I really don't want it to be. I love Joe to bits, he's always been so close to the family, so good to me."

"I know that, he told me that. Goodness, you're right this is awkward. I'm usually quite reserved and polite you know, not hurling abuse at strangers."

Anna laughed. "Yes, I know that, I've lived in Genovia for a number of years now, you're loved, and respected. I was so happy when Joe finally… well, that the two of you finally found your way."

"I wonder why we never met before, I've never really met any of his family." She shrugged. "It isn't right."

Anna stared at the older woman for a few moments mulling over just what information she should share with her. Deciding that it was time some walls were brought down she reached out and rested her hand over Clarisse's.

"I'm not sure if I'm supposed to talk to you about this or what Joe has said but you know over the years he always found it so difficult to merge his two lives. That he was in love with you seemed quite obvious to all of us about two years after he began working at the palace. He's always had girlfriends, odd relationships that always seemed to fizzle out. Everyone thought he was incapable of settling down, then it stopped altogether. No dates, no bringing women home to family occasions, we teased him at first. Then after ten years you kinda realise this isn't some silly crush, and then after all those years, all that time without a word, he marries you in a snap ceremony and we were shocked. All of us."

"I understand that, and I am sorry, I really never meant…"

"I know that, we all know that. It's been surreal, all this press interest all of sudden, all the negativity about Joe and then suddenly he's the toast of the town when his career takes a new direction. Who would have ever thought the dowager Queen would be attending my wedding. It's ridiculous, an odd reality." She took a breath awaiting Clarisse's reaction. "He loved you for so long, you know that."

"Yes, and I loved him. It has been so very difficult for both of us, and somehow I stupidly believed we would marry and all would be perfect, but of course it doesn't work that way. It doesn't help that we did rush the wedding, that we never had the chance to build up to it and plan it together, to invite you, Joseph's family. I somehow wish that I had the chance to go back and redo it."

"No, no, you have no reason to. We don't hold it against you, Clarisse, may I call you Clarisse?"

"Of course you can my dear, ohh… I'm really not such a dragon."

"You're lovely, really you are! Everyone likes you, they were all afraid you would be some stuck up aloof woman, you're not, you're actually quite normal."

This time Clarisse laughed. "I can be, at times."

"Come back inside and mingle, you're so good at it. Better at it than I am."

"Practice."

"I want you to be part of today, you make Joe deliriously happy, it's plain to see. I want the two of you together on my photos."

"Alright, I'll come back inside. Though your grandfather keeps dragging me onto the dance floor."

"Ha, I had noticed that. I'm sure Joe will save you, Adrian is a terrible dancer, I only discovered during rehearsals."

"Oh dear."

"I know, I must send him to Joe for lessons, help him to improve."

The two ladies linked arms and crossed the bridge heading back across the lawn to the party.

* * *

Joe guided the bride around the dance floor with the skill and elegance of a long practiced dancer. He was the perfect partner and easily the most popular there. He seemed to have been dancing non-stop all night, or at least it felt that way. Only twice had he managed to share a dance with the woman he really wanted to, and now he had decided he would spent the remaining hour or so of the celebration being partner to only his wife. 

She was seated at the edge of the dance floor, a half empty glass of champagne in her hand, watching him walk towards her, smiling at him in that enigmatic way she had.

When he reached her he tilted his head down and kissed her smiling mouth.

"Hello darling." She whispered. "Are you going to dance with me now?"

"Only if you want me too."

"Oh all the time." She took a sip of her champagne before handing the glass to him.

He too took a drink before placing the glass on the table and offering her his hand. She accepted, and slowly stood, allowing him to lead her to the dance floor.

They no longer needed to think about how to hold each other, where to place their hands or move their feet, they fit together perfectly, united in rhythm and timing.

"I noticed you were talking to Jorge." He whispered next to her ear.

"I was indeed, he's very funny, he was sharing with me some of the activities the two of you used to get up to when you were little."

"Ahh, some of my misdemeanours."

"Absolutely, I rather enjoyed hearing about 'little Joe'. I bet he was cute."

He twirled her as he laughed. "Terribly cute."

"I'm sure, your children would be cute."

"Would have been cute my dear, too late now one believes."

She said nothing simply rested her head on his shoulder closing her eyes. "I sometimes wish… but then I don't regret my life, most of it."

"And you shouldn't, too old for regrets. Everything is as it should be."

"You would have made a wonderful father."

"Perhaps, but then I was a very selfish young man who thought solely of himself and his next adventure. I couldn't settle like Jorge." He moved his head slightly so he could see her face. "Until I met you."

Her arms tightened around him as they swayed in time with the music, some jazzy love song that she didn't recognise, but the tune was lovely.

"I'm so glad I have you, so lucky." She whispered. "And your friends are lovely, and your sister is wonderful, she has made me feel so welcome, all of them have."

"No longer so worried?"

She lifted her face to his. "No, no longer worried." She gently kissed his mouth not caring about who saw. "I don't believe I've ever been to such a wonderfully joyous wedding, most of them I attend are so stuffy."

"I know, I had to guard you at most of them."

"So you did." She smiled and straightened his tie as he held her waist and moved the two of them in time with the music as it changed. "You do realise we've almost been married a year."

"Almost."

"We should do something special."

"We will, our first anniversary, a solitary trip somewhere secluded, somewhere without a view so we don't have to leave our room."

She giggled. "Joseph…"

"Well, I think after the year we've had we deserve some fun now don't you think."

"Fun? Are we not too old for having fun?"

"Absolutely not, we should start chasing each other around the palace grounds and acting like children."

"Book ending your life hey… causing mayhem as a child and mayhem as a… gracefully aging gentleman."

"Politely put."

"Why thank you."

"I do love you Clarisse."

"And I love you, you have brought me such happiness."

"One anniversary down, many more to come…"

* * *

He must be exhausted after this day full of excitement and joy. Not to forget all the dancing he had to do. She was exhausted as well, but sleep eluded her. 

Safely spooned in front of her husband, Clarisse found her unease not abating.

Joseph's friends and family had welcomed her in a friendly way – his sister Louisa, whom she had started to genuinely like, even with open arms – still, Clarisse could not shake this sense of… of…of what actually?

The full moonlight cast a silvery glow over half of the room, alighting it as if it were day. They had taken to keeping the drapes half open at night. Clarisse disliked it, Joseph wanted it. With a tender smile Clarisse snuggled deeper into her husband's embrace. Was there anything this man could ask of her and not get?

The thought made her pause. Yes, there was. Too many times. Even the smallest things.

Hence the fact that it had taken a year of marriage until she met his family. Hence the fact that it had taken months until she had even asked, what he was doing in his new job. Hence the fact that despite their more than public wedding, Joseph's family had found out just like millions of other people. From television.

It was not fair. Not to them and certainly not to Joseph. They deserved better. He deserved better….

Closing her eyes, the image of the riverside formed in Clarisse's mind. This particular spot would be etched into her memory forever it seemed. The sound of the gently gurgling water, the trees lining the meadow – forming a dark green background to the light green of the grass; the meadow itself covered with delicate flowers. The chirping birds flying around and filling the air. The entire area was literally summer.

It looked like summer, felt, smelt and sounded like it. It was the perfect spot for a wedding. The perfect…

It was too bad that Anna and Adrian had not made use of it. Anna…

The conversation they had had still stuck in Clarisse's mind with almost eerie clearness. Rarely had she dreaded a conversation as much as this one.

In a way, it had been much easier than Clarisse had feared. In another, it had been much more difficult than expected. Anna's words were not accusing. In fact, Clarisse felt that Anna genuinely liked her and did not blame her for those unpleasant scenes a few months earlier. However, Anna had not sugar coated anything either.

It was this simple stating of facts that made it so painful to Clarisse.

Joseph's family was genuinely happy about their marriage, however they greatly disapproved of the way it was handled. Of course, nobody had said anything, but between the lines they almost shouted it. The family disliked the way their sudden nuptials were handled and they were uneasy about the position Joseph was thrust into.

The family would have preferred a much clearer approach – something that told everybody where he stood. A wedding that was announced and properly planned and that had the entire clan invited.

The gentle snore in her ear brought a broad smile to her face. How she loved things like this – those small things that defined their closeness. Her nightgown lying on the floor half-covered by his shirt. Joseph's feet unconsciously rubbing the soles of hers even as he slept. His arm pillowing her head, while the other held her body in a death grip against his. His nose buried in her hair, his soft snores in her ear. Clarisse had heard many women complain about their partner's snoring – she loved even this. It was so comforting and reassuring to have this reminder of his nearness. She loved his snoring… she loved… him.

They had been so close to losing themselves. So close to loss and yet they had made it through. It was incredible; they had made it simply based on one thing – their love for each other. Their love and their want to be together.

Along the way so much had to be done, had to be learned, to be accepted.

Clarisse now understood this line she once heard in a movie: Love is a two-way street. It was indeed. Love consisted of sharing; and sharing meant taking and giving.

Aware of the warmth Joseph's body provided to hers in this surprisingly cool night, Clarisse realized that among all the giving and taking they had already done, and would do in the future, one more real public declaration of commitment must be made.

Maybe not by that river. Maybe by the stream on the palace grounds. Outdoors? Definitely. They would just have to find a way to make Carmen comfortable.

Carmen and all the others of course – Joseph's entire family would have to be there, his sister Louisa and her husband Martin would simply have to fly in from Washington again. Uncle Ernesto and his wife, along with their six children. Of course, Jorge and Carmen and their two sons would have to come. Maybe even this funny great grandfather of Anna's that Clarisse had danced with at the reception tonight.

They would probably need to charter an entire airplane to fly the clan to Genovia, but they would all be there this time, she would make sure of it.

Their anniversary was just a few short weeks away. Their first year – not always full of happiness, but always full of love. Their special date deserved something special. They deserved something special. Joseph deserved it.

Tilting her head slightly, Clarisse pressed a tender kiss to her husband's arm. The smile that had settled on her face as she hatched her plan, broadened when she felt Joseph's arm tightening around her waist.

So much love. So much possessive tenderness in both of them. They were simply…

Clarisse didn't exactly think out anymore what they were, for all of a sudden sleep caught her and within seconds she knew no more of the world than the warmth and security she felt because of the man holding her.

* * *

_PLEASE PLEASE leave us a review! xxx Rhonda & Suse_


	30. part 30

**Disclaimer:** Don't own, don't make any money from it... but we're working on that! 

**Author's Note:**A funny moment in the heat of summer... everyone needs them!

**Mixed Signals** - _Part 30_

Clarisse lifted her face towards the glorious warmth of the sun, bathed in its gentle adulation and felt her body relax beneath its gaze. Sliding her sunglasses into place she reached across the table for her glass of spritzer, took a sip, let it slowly slide down her throat, and stretched her legs out in front of her.

Part of her wished she were sitting somewhere secluded and hidden away, away from prying eyes. Then she would lift that long summer dress just a little, above her knees, and let the sun caress her legs too. Unfortunately there were maids scurrying about and security guards watching her every move, she doubted they would revel in the idea of looking at their former monarchs legs.

"What are you smiling about?"

She dropped her head to the side and accepted Joseph's kiss on her cheek before he sat down across from her.

"Nothing much. Relaxing in the sunshine."

"Hmm…" He poured himself a glass of the cool looking liquid. "I was just thinking how good it is to be home, with nothing to do."

"And it's good to have you home, I'm looking forward to a long hot summer." She reached across the table and clinked her glass against his. "The wedding was just the beginning of, what was it you said we should have… more fun?"

Anna's wedding had taken place two days ago and since then Clarisse had seemed to carry with her an air of joy, though he wasn't entirely sure where it had originated he absolutely loved it.

He smiled watching her, she was utterly relaxed, in fact he doubted he'd ever seen her like that in public. Settled back in her chair, body stretched out, head back, that elegant long neck… he licked his lips, suddenly felt his throat tighten.

A maid approached the table and put a rather large tray down.

"Ahh, wonderful." Clarisse proclaimed sitting up.

"Would you like me to serve madam?" The rather demure girl asked.

"No that's fine, thank you, I think I'll do it myself."

"Very good ma'am." With a swift curtsy the maid backed away across the lawn.

Joseph folded his arms and leant on the table watching unfold her napkin. "And what may I ask is all this?"

"This is Clarisse indulging herself." She smiled.

"Ah, I see, and are there enough cream cakes here my dear?"

Now she laughed. "Perhaps, I am being rather extravagant. But well, I'm old enough now to get away with it." She picked up the serving knife. "So, would you like to try something darling?"

"Pick something for me." He smiled resting his chin on his hands as he watched her delicately turn the plates around searching for the perfect cake.

"You look very beautiful today."

She raised an eyebrow not looking at him. "Joseph really, I should look beautiful to you every day." She sighed.

"Oh you do, just today you look… different. There's a kind of glow around you."

This time she stopped and looked at him slipping her sunglasses off. "Then perhaps we should worry, pregnant women have a 'glow' about them."

He leaned closer. "Oh dear, is there something you want to tell me Mrs. Romerro. Have you been naughty with the gardeners?"

"Well, there is a rather dashing young man who I've noticed pruning my roses."

"As long as that's all he's doing."

She tapped his nose with her fingertip. "It's hardly likely dear, now hold up your plate."

"Hold up my plate?" He faked shock but did as instructed. "Well you never usually have to do this at palace garden parties."

"Ha! This is no garden party."

"Is it not?" He put his plate back down bearing a rather large looking French pastry just oozing with cream.

She sucked on her finger that had caught the cream. "Well perhaps a private garden party… a party for two."

"Sounds good to me."

"I'm sure it does." She mumbled choosing her own cake.

"You look so very serious." He smiled.

"It's a delicate operation."

"Selecting the perfect cake?"

"Exactly… from a tray of perfect cakes."

"Perhaps you'd like to try some of mine before you decide."

"Hmmm…" She lifted her head up precisely at the moment he reached across with a thick dollop of cream on the end of his finger, it headed straight for her nose and Joseph couldn't help but laugh as she came into contact with it.

Her brow furrowed as she wiggled her nose at the sensation.

"I'm sorry dear, you do look rather cute."

"Oh do I indeed." She snatched a napkin from the table and went to wipe the cream away but Joseph held her hand down.

"Oh but allow me to lick it off."

"No, we're too public."

"Otherwise you'd allow me to do it?"

"Perhaps if we were alone, in the privacy of our rooms." She pulled the napkin free from his grasp and lifted it discreetly to her nose. "Besides, I don't wish you to get carried away."

"Carried away. I wouldn't dream of it…" He smirked. "This would be getting carried away."

He leant across the small table and slid more cream directly down from the bridge of her nose to the tip.

"I just cleaned that." She bit down on her lip to suppress a smile.

"I know." He leant back in his chair.

"Somebody needs to teach you a lesson."

"Perhaps, but you are too prim to have fun in public with your husband."

She imitated his poise and leant back in her chair, tapping her nails on the tabletop watching him, contemplating her next move.

Joseph was unprepared for the swift movement as Clarisse lifted the top from the pastry closest to her and threw it across the table squarely at his chest. For a second he stared down at himself dumbly before removing the cake from his lap and dropping it to his plate.

Clarisse watched him carefully, gauging his response.

"Now that was not very nice." He said solemnly.

"You deserved it." She smiled slightly.

"I did." He eyed the chocolate éclair on the tray.

"Oh don't even consider it." She warned moving her chair back and moving to stand hastily wiping the cream from her face with her hand.

"I haven't considered it at all, I'm being impulsive."

And with that another cake flew across the table at slid down the former Queen's dress.

She looked down at herself, then back up again at his grinning face.

A splash from the other side of the garden reminded her just where they were and she glanced around for any maids or gardeners, if they were watching the pair acting like children they certainly we're being overly intrusive as Clarisse could see nobody staring back at her.

She glanced at the pool, at Mia splashing about on her back as she did her lengths. She wasn't at all sure a Queen could afford to take the afternoon off "just because it's too hot to work." as Mia had argued, after all she was Queen now and must remember that. Then again Clarisse was dowager Queen standing there with cream sliding down her dress.

"Oh to hell with it." She suddenly proclaimed lifting the entire tray of cakes and pouring them into Joseph's lap.

He jumped to his feet and she giggled uncontrollably as she moved away from him. How good it felt to have pure unplanned, unmeasured childish fun together, emancipating.

"Right then, you are asking for pay back."

"Oh but all the cakes are gone." She said attempting to smother her laughter by covering her mouth. She stepped backwards and turned slightly glancing at the spray of water coming from the hose and sprinkling the grass.

"Clarisse, come back I wish to share some of this mess with you." Joseph said teasingly.

"You need cleaning off Sir." She responded skilfully lifting the hose from its holder and turning the spray head towards Joseph. He let out an odd sound as the ice-cold water hit his face before quickly running out of the water's reach.

"Oh now you've asked for it madam." He proclaimed standing firmly, hands on hips, measuring up his next move.

"Hmm, and what do you propose my dear husband?"

"Grandma!" A shriek came across the lawn, "what are you doing?"

Clarisse turned towards Mia's voice; she was standing at the side of the pool preparing to jump in. Recalling she was still covered in cream, she glanced down at herself, how did she explain this?

There was no time to form an explanation as she felt her body being hoisted into Joseph's strong arms. Mia shrieked again as Joseph stalked across the lawn towards the pool with a half giggling, half complaining Clarisse in his arms.

"Put me down…" She squirmed in his arms. "Joseph, this isn't playing fair…" Her shoes fell off as she kicked her legs. "Put me down."

"Oh I intend to."

He couldn't help but laugh himself at Clarisse's uncontrollable giggling. As he got closer to the pool he stopped and held her over the edge. Only now did her giggles subside.

"Oh no, no Joseph that isn't fair… you'll ruin my dress."

"You have ruined my shirt, and that's not enough of an excuse."

"Alright, you win, I'm sorry, put me down."

"I win?"

"Yes, you win."

"Good." Gently he placed her feet to the floor and she audibly sighed her relief.

"Thank you, that would have been unforgivable."

"Really?"

"Absolutely."

"Well, I do like to test theories."

He pushed gently on her waist and she toppled backwards, but she caught his arm and he followed her into the pool.

When they emerged the only sound was of Mia's laughter.

Clarisse rubbed the hair back from her face and looked up as several security members ran across the lawn towards the pool.

"Oh Joseph, in front of all the staff." She sighed heavily.

* * *

Joseph dropped backwards onto the oversized bed and dabbed his face once again with the towel. Try as he might he couldn't stop chuckling, his chest still shook with laughter, and had done ever since his and Clarisse's little escapade in the garden.

He knew she was embarrassed by their behavior, he understood her reasons for being, but he couldn't be serious about it. It was such a complete turnaround to witness Clarisse lose control and be spontaneous, to be privy to her moments of total joy and abandonment, to share in and be an integral part of that happiness.

He had gratefully accepted the towel from Olivia after he'd helped Clarisse from the pool, had watched as she'd slipped a robe on to cover her now clinging see-through summer dress, and noted that she still had a spot of cream in her hair. She had regained that stoic façade almost immediately, had brushed her damp hair back from her face and headed directly indoors… Joseph followed a little slower, winking at Mia over his shoulder as he did so.

Chuckling again he sat up long enough to remove his damp shirt and drop it to the floor. Moving up the bed he laid back on the plump pillows, leant over to his left and opened the top drawer of the bedside cabinet that was now his, taking out a large bar of the finest, plain chocolate.

Closing his eyes he broke off a square and laid it on his tongue allowing it to dissolve slowly. He sighed and rested further back into the pillows, completely relaxed,

"Joseph!" Clarisse barked as she entered their bedroom.

He sat up abruptly. "What?"

"What? What? You say what to me! You're soaking the bed, your trousers are wet, and… and goodness Joseph your shirt is soaking the carpet…" she jabbered on picking his crumpled shirt up from the floor and retreating into the bathroom with it.

Returning a second later she was still chattering on. "I can't believe you are lying there wet through, just where do you expect us to sleep tonight, and what will people think, honestly the staff already think I've lost my marbles… perhaps I have." She sat down heavily at her dressing table. "Lost my head as well as my heart." She shook her head slowly. "Behaving like that, I know better."

He swallowed the chocolate; suddenly their activities didn't seem so amusing anymore. Placing the chocolate down on the bed he moved to the edge reaching out for her hand. She was oddly silent now.

"My dear Clarisse," he kissed her fingers. "Nobody thinks badly of you, nobody thinks you've lost your marbles." He smiled and noted the way her shoulders relaxed a little. "And my darling I'm so very grateful you lost your heart… so incredibly grateful."

"Oh but what must they…"

"Shhh, no more, we are all aware of how well-behaved you are Clarisse, of the dull dignitaries you've had to entertain over the years with a smile and a warm handshake. Of the countless hours you've spent working tirelessly for your country, and I more than anyone know of the sacrifices you have made in your life for this country. That doesn't mean now, hell every now and then you shouldn't just let yourself go a little. The look in your eye when you were spraying me with the hose, I would have stood there all day freezing beneath that hose just to see that."

"To see what?" She lifted her face to his.

"To see this woman, to see you relaxing, having fun… just having fun Clarisse. You have a wonderful sense of humour and when we're away from here you let yourself go, kissing in the streets of Vienna, midnight dancing on the rooftop of Schönbrunn Castle."

He moved his face closer to hers, so close he could feel her warm breath touch his skin. "Making love with the city of Rome for a backdrop, those balcony doors wide open so we could feel the summer breeze on our bodies."

"Joseph." She smiled coyly nudging his arm.

"What? Am I not supposed to mention that here for fear of breaking that image of the Queen who never bends the rules, who never enjoys herself too much."

"Oh Joseph I do enjoy myself, every now and then, Christmas and family birthdays." She smiled warmly. "I just enjoy myself more it seems whenever you're around." She touched his face. "I'm sorry I know I shouldn't but I can't help… I can't help but feel the teeniest bit guilty about behaving like that, throwing myself in the pool for goodness sake."

"But they are private grounds, private facilities in that area, not even guests are permitted without your say-so."

"Mia's now."

"Yours! Always yours. So if it's privacy then you may do whatever you wish there, swim naked in the pool at midnight if you so feel."

She laughed outwardly now. "I would never."

"Maybe not now but I'm working on it."

"You're terrible to me."

"I know." He kissed her nose. "Relax Clarisse, it's the summer, our first summer as husband and wife. Life is good, enjoy it."

He kissed her forehead before moving and lying back on the bed.

She mused on his words for a second, the blush that had invaded her pale cheeks out in the garden now finally seemed to be fading. She watched him lounging on the expensive antique bed.

"You're still all wet." She quipped leisurely standing. "On my bed."

He glanced up at her.

"Sorry… our bed."

Dropping her robe she took her time removing her dress and then her underwear, Joseph never took his eyes from her and she was well aware of him watching her. She wrapped a towel around herself and leant on the bedpost.

"Are you going to share that chocolate?"

"Perhaps."

She raised an eyebrow pretending to scowl at him. "I do hope you're not getting crumbs on the silk sheets, along with wet patches. Now…" She moved around and began to crawl up the bed towards him. "Throw me that chocolate."

Laughing Joseph did as the lady requested.

* * *

_PLEASE leave a review you wonderful people! xxx R&S_


	31. part 31

**Disclaimer:** Don't own, never will, just fixing them!

**Author's Note:** Well as Suse & I slowly approach the end of this story i think i speak for us both when i say PHEW... enjoy this and remember the end is in sight, thanks for sticknig with us!

**Mixed Signals** - _Part 31_

Even summer must have its dreary and bleak days and they could certainly use a few days of cool and wet weather after the weeks of scorching heat. Still, standing in front of the window and staring out into the grey and depressing afternoon, he couldn't help but be negatively affected by the weather.

Joseph shook his head at the direction his thoughts had taken. There was another proposal from the board to be read, letters and memos to be answered and here he was standing and wool gathering. If nothing else, he should be on the phone and trying to organise a surprise for their anniversary.

In only two weeks time they would celebrate the first return of the day that had made him the happiest man on earth. The day that had started out as one of the darkest of his life and then had unexpectedly been completely turned around by Clarisse's sudden question. Since then, his life seemed to be a rush of bliss.

Almost a year. A year filled with so much love, so many delights, so much happiness. Also, a year filled with worry, desperation and heartache. But they had made it through, simply depending on their love and their wish to be together. They had come such a long way in this past year.

Sharing their lives had not come as easily as they had thought it would be. Having been alone for so long – even when being in a relationship, neither he nor Clarisse had known how to do it. Wrongly perceived attempts to protect each other had made matters worse. When he thought about the almost tragedy, his possible illness had caused, Joseph's breath still hitched.

How close they had come to losing each other. How close to throwing away their happiness. And how difficult and painstaking the small steps had been they had to take in order to return to their happiness. He'd had never thought that there were so many unspoken things between them, had thought that they knew each other well, intimately after all the years they had inhabited each other's lives.

It was funny, but it seemed as if Anna's wedding had been the final point. Only after Clarisse had met his family and friends did he feel as if his wife was really part of his life. Joseph had expected that now that Clarisse had met his family, and experienced that they indeed welcomed her, she would be more self-assured about them. Now, he thought, their marriage would finally be completely back on track.

How wrong he was.

He didn't exactly know what it was, but Joseph couldn't shake the feeling that something was amiss. There was just something about Clarisse that filled him with unease.

Had something happened at the party that he was not aware of? Did somebody say something to hurt her? However unintentional? Clarisse had assured him that there had been nothing like it – the family had been friendly and welcoming and she had liked them all immensely. Still, since that night Joseph couldn't shake the feeling that his wife was withdrawing from him.

She ended phone calls when he entered a room.

She changed the subjects of her conversations when he drew near.

She made and fulfilled appointments he knew nothing about.

She avoided eye contact when he tried to read in her face what occupied her so much.

She was absentminded. How many times had he spoken to her and had shaken her out of a world that was entirely her own.

There was only one explanation one could draw from all those hints – his wife was keeping something from him.

Joseph closed his eyes as all the things Clarisse could possibly try to hide from him rushed through his mind. A verbal attack on their marriage or against him, problems with Mia's ruling the country, rejection by his family. Could Pierre have finally made his opinion known? Was his stepson against their marriage?

Or could it be something entirely different? He could not help but notice that Clarisse seemed to be worn out these days. Of course, he knew that the heat of the last days had taken its toll on her. But she looked so pale and drawn. Had she just caught some summer bug or was it something more serious?

Fear seized Joseph's heart. What if a condition like the one that had bypassed him, had caught her? What if she was taken ill? Did she already know and only prepared the best way to break the news to him or did she still wait for results? Oh God, what if…

He could not stand to lose her. He simply could not lose her. Clarisse was his life, everything he was, he could not lose her.

A sound by the door made Joseph shoot around to the visitor and a smile flitted over his face. How could it not?

"So, this is the important work you just had to do this afternoon?" Clarisse's voice was teasing as she stepped further into the room. "Looks very urgent to me. Tell me, was it supposed to be 'staring out into the rain'?"

Joseph laughed. "No," he took the few steps to close the distance between them and snuck his arms around her waist. He felt her tense at the contact and automatically loosened his hold on her. Acting as nonchalantly as possible, he continued: "No, actually it was difficult detective work, I had to do."

Clarisse raised an eyebrow. "Detective work? What riddle did you have to solve so urgently, Holmes?"

"Well, Watson, there is this really stunning blonde I know and her husband wanted me to keep an eye on her. He worried that she might be bothered by something with which she doesn't want to upset him. So naturally, I looked at all the clues and tried to put the puzzle together."

The tender expression that appeared in her eyes made him almost regret to have said anything. How could he doubt her?

A thought shot through his mind, to be discarded immediately, but bothering him immensely later on. Their trademark gesture. Why did she not raise her hand to cup his cheek? Why did she tense when he did it?

"What do you make of this, Watson?"

Clarisse smiled, but Joseph couldn't help but recognise the shutters that seemed to close in her eyes, could not help but recognise the guarded tone she used in her answer. "I think it is safe for you to tell your client that he doesn't need to worry, Holmes. This woman you observe is fine, just a bit busy these days. It will pass."

"Are you certain?"

"Quite."

Joseph was reluctant to let her go, but Clarisse insisted wordlessly. With a last tender smile and the promise to meet him for dinner, she left the room and a very confused husband behind.

Why did she withdraw from his touches? It wasn't as if he would start to ravish her right here and now, though the thought certainly had its merits. He couldn't help the lecherous grin that crossed his features as he recalled the way her light trousers had clung to her backside. Gods, how he loved to look at her, how he loved to touch her. To run his hands over her curves.

Clarisse's body must have been made for his touch – or so he had thought for some time. They could never keep their hands off each other. In public, they were always touching as if to assure themselves that the other wouldn't disappear into thin air, in private their touches always got rapidly out of hand, leaving them both breathless and incredibly sated and content. Making love to Clarisse was a gift from heaven that would never disappear – or so he thought.

The thought had been so natural, so logical. They made love so often, had achieved a physical and emotional closeness that he had never imagined to be possible. They needed no words to communicate anymore – everything could be said with a smile, a brush of their hands, even the choice of dress.

Until now…

Now, he could not help but see that Clarisse's habits had become erratic again. Just like they had been when she thought that he had an affair with Anna. She switched between obviously enticing and very conservative outfits for no reason. She withdrew physically from him one day and the next she practically threw herself at him. She shut him out of the things that filled her day.

She had not mentioned their anniversary. As a matter of fact, when he had carefully brought it up to gauge what Clarisse would like for their special day, she had completely avoided the topic.

Something was bothering his wife. Something Joseph was certain he would not like and he better took care of it before things got out of hand. They had come too far in this last year, at too high a price to both of them. He could not leave this be.

Their marriage was too important to risk even the smallest glitch again.

He would not slip this time. Not again.

* * *

"I'm glad to hear that, Louisa. It would have been too bad, if you and Martin had missed it. It just wouldn't have been the same."

Charlotte closed her mouth to avoid interrupting the phone call her former queen was leading. Judging from the words she had heard, Clarisse was talking to her sister-in-law and had finally received the assurance that Sir Joseph's sister and her husband would be able to attend the event that was to take place in less than two weeks time.

Seeing her former queen wave her closer, Charlotte stepped up to the desk and sat down in the chair in front of it. Reading over the papers in her hands again she listened to the one-sided conversation.

"So, you two will arrive in Paris on the 22nd around noon. Very good. I'll have somebody waiting there to pick you up and bring you to Genovia." Clarisse was jutting down the information on a piece of paper, motioning for Charlotte to get comfortable while she waited. "I have booked the entire family into the same lodge just outside of Pyrus, Louisa. Is that alright with you or would you prefer to have a place of your own to stay?"

Clarisse nodded to the answer from the other end. "Yes. … Aha… Yes."

The forced time of idleness gave her aide the opportunity to contemplate what had become the most urgent and most secret business of the palace. Urgent, because they were on a time limit, with the date for the elaborate event approaching quickly and so many things to be organized. Urgent, because queen Clarisse had made quite clear that this event was the top priority on her agenda. Nothing was more important right now.

Considering just how much this business filled everybody's mind and schedule, it was incredible that they had still managed to keep it a secret. Sir Joseph was none the wiser, but certainly not from lack of trying. Charlotte grinned at that. It was so funny, how Joe tried to fish for information. Of course, he did it as discreetly as possible, but since he was the only one not knowing what was going on, his discretion did not help any.

They'd have had a good many laughs on his account already. Just this morning Shades had elaborated on yesterday's run in he had had with his former boss. The memory still made Charlotte chuckle.

Poor Joe. He wouldn't know what had hit him once he discovered what all this secrecy was about.

That was if he didn't draw the wrong conclusion from all the hints he had picked up. That was the one thing that worried Charlotte intensely. This past year she had seen first hand how quickly a small secret could get out of hand. And how disastrous the consequences could prove. Her Majesty and Sir Joseph had almost lost each other over something like this and the pain of it still hung like a shadow over the palace. The entire staff still searched their countenance, their faces, their behaviour for any hint of trouble. It was only slowly that they all returned to their former ease.

"Very well then, Louisa. I'll see you in a few days. … No, he still doesn't know, though it becomes harder to keep the secret." Clarisse laughed. "Yes, yes, Sherlock Holmes is onto me. He feels so left out that I am almost sorry for him. But he'll forgive me, when he sees his surprise. At least I hope so." Another chuckle accompanied those words.

Charlotte on the other side of the desk could not hide her grin either. Sir Joseph would forgive his wife all right. They'd probably not come up for air for days after their anniversary. If nothing went wrong, that is…

"I will meet you at your hotel on the 22nd." A pause. "Yes, yes, I'll come there to welcome you all. And Louisa, I'd like to talk you alone that evening. … Oh, I have a favour to ask, which I rather do in person…. No, nothing bad. On the contrary actually. I just hope that you will accept my idea." Clarisse smiled at comment from the other end of the line. "We'll see. Very well, Louisa, I know you still have work to do and I don't want to hold you up any longer. Perhaps we can talk again, just before you leave. … Very well. You take care of yourself and your husband. … Yes, yes, I'll take care of mine. I promise. … Good. Good bye Louisa."

Replacing the receiver, Clarisse drew a deep breath. "Another thing settled, Charlotte. It is coming along nicely, I'd say."

"Yes, your highness. Sir Joseph's sister and her husband will attend then?"

"Yes, they got the time off." The former queen chuckled. "I would have loved to have seen her superior's face when she told him that she needed another few days off and why." Seeing her aide's confusion she added: "It seems as if Louisa actually had to tell him whom her brother is married to. The gentleman was apparently quite shocked to hear that one of his lawyers was related to royalty." Clarisse shook her head somewhat exasperated. "Honestly, some people…"

Charlotte smiled as well. "The guest list is complete now, then? Everybody will be able to attend."

"Yes, yes. You can call the hotel to give them the final numbers. Please tell them to make sure that the sheets and pillows for Madame De Marcos are allergy safe. And that they have enough toys and entertainment options for the children." She paused. "Just tell them to make sure that everybody enjoys his stay to the fullest."

Charlotte smiled again as she promised to do her best. It was so good to see her highness so excited. She went through with this plan like a woman on a mission, all the while pulling people into it with her, just by her enthusiasm. The staff smiled, shook their heads and followed her on her heels anyway.

Everybody had so much love and admiration for their former monarch and her husband. How could they doubt it? The entire staff, no the entire country supported this marriage. They'd do anything for it. Especially Charlotte herself. "The archbishop called to confirm the ceremony, your highness. He said however that he would prefer to have a talk with you and Sir Joseph in advance. I told him that this is impossible, because the ceremony is supposed to be surprise…"

"Not a problem, Charlotte. I have a meeting with his Lordship later this week. I'll explain it then."

The aide nodded. "Also, I have scheduled the next two fittings of your gown with Misr. Galins. The first is tomorrow morning at 10. The flowers are organized; the food selection is planned and needs to be approved. Chef asked your highness to do so by the latest tomorrow, so he could gather all the necessary ingredients."

Clarisse nodded and noted down the information with a pleased smile. "It sounds as if everything is going according to plan. What about the music though?"

The younger woman took a deep breath. That was one hitch in the entire planning. "Her majesty wanted to take care of the music."

"My granddaughter selects the music? And probably with Lily's aid?"

Charlotte's face contorted in a meek grimace of apology. "Erm…yes, your highness. I tried to convince her otherwise, but her majesty insisted. She and Miss Lily were quite eager to select the music for the reception afterwards. They said they had already the perfect solution in mind."

"I am not certain if that knowledge should ease my worries or magnify them. What if they insist on this odd music they had last summer. This… this…" Clarisse searched for the correct term, "this Hip-Hop thing they 'mixed' into the song I sang for Mia. Which I am not doing again. I am not singing again, Charlotte."

The aide quickly covered the chuckle that threatened to break out with a cough. "Of course not, your highness." Composing herself again, she once again checked the plans in her hand. "I believe that we have covered everything that we could for the moment, your highness. Everything else will not become acute before next week."

"Thank you Charlotte." The former queen replied gently. "Thank you very much."

"There is no need to. I am just doing my…"

"Don't say 'job', Charlotte, because I know that you and Shades and everybody else here does much more than his or her job. You all have been so enthusiastic and helpful through this admittedly somewhat … well… unusual plan. I could never do this without you. I certainly could not follow my husband on those trips, if it weren't for you and your work. I never thank you enough for it – will never be able to do so, but I want you to know that I am aware of what you all are doing and that I am most grateful for it."

There was a suspicious bright sheen in the aide's eyes. "We know that, your highness. And you can believe me when I say that we all gladly do it. We love you and we all love Sir Joseph as well. Your marriage is the best thing that could have happened to all of us. We'd do everything…"

The two women looked at each other for a long moment. Then the younger one turned and left the office.

Clarisse smiled again as she stepped up to the window. Outside the world looked bleak and depressing, but in her heart their was a joy and excitement that seemed to warm and brighten her from the inside.

It was as if she was incapable of wiping the happy expression she was sporting from her features. When she had hatched her plan, it seemed like such a spur of the moment thing – necessary yes, but not thought through or attainable. But one word to Mia and Charlotte and the plan was swung into action. They had been so enthusiastic, everybody in the palace had been so enthusiastic that Clarisse couldn't help but get carried away by the planning herself. She didn't know what kept her spirits more: the planning of the event, the image of her husband's surprise or the thought of sharing their special day with their family.

Thinking back, she had felt rather timid, when she dialled the first number. In all actuality she had been downright scared, when Joseph's uncle had answered and she had stated her identity. It was one thing to meet people in a large group where everybody made the effort to be civil, but a completely different one to talk to somebody one on one. However, Ernesto Romerro had been delighted to receive a phone call from his nephew's wife and had been even more thrilled to hear of her plan. There had been no question as to his acceptance of her invitation. "Even if I had to get a mule-drawn carriage to get there, I wouldn't miss such a sight." He had said and Clarisse had blushed and even more, when the old gentleman mentioned that he looked forward to the breathtaking sight she would be. "Lets hope that boy will not be so overwhelmed by his beautiful wife that he can't get the necessary words out."

Clarisse felt herself blush again. The old man was such a charmer. It was no wonder to her anymore, where her Joseph got his charms from.

Her Joseph. Her man.

How often had she heard this term over the last days? How delightful a phrase it was. It felt even more so, since it was Joseph's family who said it. Every call she had made had been met with happiness and delight. Everybody happily rearranged schedules, begged for days off, and postponed other engagements to be able to accept her invitation.

And it felt good.

They really seemed to accept her and their marriage. They were happy. They wanted to share.

Clarisse wanted to share as well and finally, she did.

It would be such a wonderful event. The happiest and most perfect day they would have.

The most perfect closure to a difficult, but most wonderful year.

Joseph would love it.

Hopefully…

* * *

_Please leave us a review - thanks! R&S_


	32. part 32

**Disclaimer:** Don't own & make no money from any of this story.

**Author's Note:** One of our favourite chapters just cos we got to play with a different character. Enjoy the sentimentality!

**Mixed Signals**_ - part 32_

He couldn't help the first small grin that fluttered over his features, as he saw her solicitously close and lock the door to his room. He bit back the second small grin when he saw the nervous flecks of red on her cheeks. And Father Pierre bit back the third grin when his mother took his hand and he felt her trembling.

This was going to be interesting.

"I hope you don't mind that you have been put into this suite this time. With Mia and Lily and all of their friends turning the palace into a madhouse, we thought you might prefer a suite where you can have some peace and quiet every now and then."

"I don't mind mother, I am used to much less comfortable rooms. It is fine."

"You look good, Pierre. This mission agrees with you, it seems."

"It does mother. The people are so very open and warm. Very welcoming. And they need our help."

"So you are happy there then?"

"Yes, I am, mother." Pierre bit back yet another smile. He would have to repeat all this several times, he imagined and it was certainly not the topic he wanted to discuss right now, but seeing his mother so carefully steering around the real reason for this conversation was too funny to be cut short.

"However, I am afraid I was a bit put out about this urgent summons. The bishop made my coming here sound so urgent that I was afraid something had happened. But now, I can't make out anything that would actually require my presence."

Clarisse blushed under her son's gaze and felt herself tensing up. How was she to explain why she had contacted the missions office and asked them to have her son come home? Pierre did important work and she called him home for a family celebration! Especially for this one.

Despite his two visits since her remarriage her son had yet to take a clear stand on the matter. He always treated Joseph respectfully when they met, in earlier years had even been friends with him, but now…

Pierre had never said anything about her marriage, whether he approved or didn't. What if he considered her request a waste of his time. What if he thought that she had made a mistake?

"Mother? Why did you request my presence? There isn't any grand occasion like a royal wedding ahead, or is there? Or any other official festivity, I must attend?"

"Well… erm…Pierre…erm…"

Father Pierre closed his eyes. If he saw her squirming one more minute, he'd lose his control and start laughing.

"Well, mother?"

Clarisse gave herself an internal shake. This was Pierre, her little Pierre. Even as a grown man and priest, he was still her little boy. He loved her and because he loved her, he would accept it.

"You see darling… the thing is that… Joseph's and my anniversary is in a few days. Well, in two days actually."

He nodded calmly, not giving away the smile that he felt creeping up on him. He should have known. All this excitement in her eyes, the radiance she exuded, her breathtaking beauty – it all came down to one thing. Joseph.

"Well, despite not having been here for the big event, I do remember that, mother."

His mother cringed at the tone. Another person they had left out of their personal lives. Another one, who…

"However, what does that have to do with my being here? From what I've heard from Mia I expected you two to actually run off and hide somewhere for a few days to celebrate the event. 'Properly and without interruption' as my dear niece termed it."

Clarisse felt herself blush at Mia's comment. The redness on her cheeks increased, when Pierre continued with a slightly teasing tone in his voice. "Actually, last time I talked to her, Mia said that she dearly hoped you would so that nobody would be 'grossed out'. And then she told me that you two have tumbled into the pool – fully clothed, no less, after you have sort of chased each other with the garden hose?"

Oh God, it was worse than she had expected. Could Mia not learn to keep her mouth closed for once? Granted it was Pierre, but her son certainly didn't need to hear how his mother lost all of her customary reserve. Gods, what had gotten into her that day? She didn't dare to look him into the eye. How was she supposed to break the news to him now? How would he take it?

Pierre watched the emotions flit over her features, felt her hands trembling in his even more and immediately felt sorry. What he had meant to be a bit of teasing apparently sent his mother into serious worries. That was not do be done. Not only did he not want to upset his mother, but he also knew that there would be hell to pay if a certain gentleman got wind of it.

Taking her hands more tightly into his, Pierre edged a bit forward in his armchair. "Mama, what do you have planned for your anniversary? And what shall I do?" he smiled tenderly.

Clarisse looked up with a jerk. "Well, you see Pierre, I well…I thought that it might be a good idea, because it happened all in such a rush and not really planned and, well the family couldn't be there, you and Joseph's sister and uncle and well…and I thought that…that" She was rambling she knew and probably didn't make any sense, but how could she tell her son. It was such a ridiculous idea all of a sudden…

"Mama, Mama," Pierre tenderly cupped his mother's cheek. "Mama, it is alright. What have you planned?"

Finally, his expression got through her cloud of nervousness and Clarisse blushed again. Lowering her gaze shyly, she whispered. "We are getting married again."

There was pause, in which Clarisse felt the seconds ticking away like hours. The silence seemed to stretch indefinitely and the burning knot in her stomach became tighter.

Pierre couldn't help it. He threw his head back and laughed. "Mama, this is so wonderful. What a marvellous idea. Marvellous."

"You don't think it is silly? I mean, we are married already after all and it has only been a year, though it is not a real wedding as such, just a blessing and reaffirming of the vows, but still and I'm certainly not innocent enough anymore to wear white and…"

He edged forward even more until he could hug her to him. "You'll look breathtaking in white Mama. Joe won't believe his eyes." Pierre smiled even broader. "And with all the family around this time, it will certainly be an event to remember. I'm confident that Joe loved the idea simply for the chance to show you off to his family."

There was a pause. When understanding dawned, Pierre chuckled. "Oh Mama, you are …unique to say the least. And you could keep it until now? I bet its killing Joe not to know what is going on around him."

Clarisse chuckled as well. "You would win the bet, darling. Joseph has been downright grumpy the last few days and annoys the staff with his 'discreet inquiries'. I only hope that he won't be too angry about having been left out of things."

"Angry at you? Joe? Oh Mama, Joe could never be angry at you. That man loves you with all that he has. I remember, it must have been about three years ago, Joe had a confrontation with Viscount Mabrey and everybody around almost shrunk into the wall, because Joe was so obviously furious. Then you came in, completely oblivious to what had just occurred, put your hand on his arm, said a few words nobody could understand and suddenly Joe was a completely different man." Pierre chuckled again. "I know, it sounds sentimental, but that was when I realized, just how deep the connection between the two of you was."

"You are not…?"

"Not what, Mama? Angry? Disappointed? Displeased? No, I am not. A long time ago, when I made my decision not to become king, a minor part was that I would never be able to choose of my own free will. I saw you and Father and I knew that this was not what I wanted. The church was the right decision for me; my path in life was entwined with service to God. But you entwined your life with the service for this country and as much as I love Genovia, I think it was time that you lived your life. I had hoped that when Mia succeeded you, you would find it in you to give Clarisse a more room."

"I…"

"No Mama. I realized a long time ago that there is a difference between the queen and Clarisse. I also realized that your life was closely connected to Joseph's, that scene then just showed me, how deep your connection was. And Mama, I saw you last year in spring, I saw you last Christmas and I see you now and all I can say is that this marriage is the best thing that ever happened to you. You have never been so beautiful and radiant."

He smiled and then laughed somewhat shakily. " Oh Mama, now I've made you cry."

Clarisse chuckled under the tears that were spilling down her cheeks in an unchecked torrent. With all her might she tried to gather at least a bit of control, but it was no use. Relief washed over her, as if an avalanche was rolling down a mountain. She had been so afraid. So afraid that Pierre of all people…her Pierre.

Smiling under tears, she pulled her son into a tight embrace. "Oh my boy, my dear boy."

"Not so much of a boy anymore, I'm afraid. I'm already finding many white hairs. And I'll be finding many more, if that husband of yours finds out that I have made you cry. He'll have my head for it."

"Oh Pierre…" Clarisse chuckled. "He'll not be so…"

"So what?" a deep voice came from the door, giving mother and son a start.

Joseph strode into the room taking in the odd scene unfolding in front of him, Clarisse being hugged by her son, her face red and blotchy.

"Clarisse, what's wrong? Something has happened."

"No, no…" she shook her head desperately trying to rub away the signs of her weakness, oh this one would be too difficult to explain away.

Pierre patted his Mother's shoulder and smiled at Joe as he rose from the seat they shared. "It's nothing terrible Joe, despite my unannounced presence." He stepped forward and warmly shook Joseph's hand. "Mother invited me here secretly on urgent business."

Clarisse's face darkened, watching them over her shoulder, surely he wouldn't reveal…

"You see she has been planning a little celebration, in honour of your first anniversary. A party. And I of course wouldn't miss it. Certainly not after missing the event itself!" He smiled again, and Clarisse could have sworn he winked at her.

She turned on the seat to face them fully, her hands folded in her lap clutching her handkerchief.

"Now seems as good a time as any to let him in on it don't you think Mama."

Clarisse nodded slowly. "Yes," her voice was clouded. "I hope you enjoy it my dear."

"Is this what you've been…" he shook his head. "This is what you've been so secretive about."

"Yes, I'm sorry, forgive me."

He knelt in front of her and wiped the tearstains from her cheeks. "Of course, of course… oh Clarisse, you've never been one to cry."

"I know, and these days I'm always shedding tears over the most silly emotional things… getting sentimental as I age."

"Oh I'm not sure," Pierre interjected. "When she was pregnant with Philippe I recall you crying all the time."

Joseph laughed. "You did?"

"No, I… Pierre how can you remember that? Goodness."

Pierre bent over his mother and kissed the top of her head. "I remember many things mama." He allowed his words to register before continuing. "I think I'll pay my little niece a visit, see how she's handling the pressures of monarchy. I'm assuming you've arranged dinner this evening?"

"But of course, something small though, just a few of us." Clarisse wiped at her face again now fully composed again.

"Then I shall see you then."

He left quickly closing the door after him; Clarisse felt Joseph squeeze her hand.

"Better?" he whispered.

She nodded. "Yes, much."

"Good, because my knees are killing me, in fact I think I might be stuck."

She laughed as she took his hands and helped him to sit on the chaise lounge with her.

"Thank you for arranging this." He said nudging her shoulder.

"Oh you're very welcome." She loathed lying to him but actually she was rather enjoying this little escapade. "I wanted Pierre to be here, I hope you understand."

"Of course, he's your son, if I had children I'd feel the same."

She turned to look at him, reaching to cup his face. "It has been virtually impossible trying to hide this from super sleuth Joseph Romerro©."

"Ahh but my dear you forget my former job as head of security."

She kissed his forehead. "Hardly. Come, I have until 3:30 before my next appointment, let's take a walk in the gardens."

"Better, let's take the horses out for a while."

"I haven't ridden in so long." She smiled. "But who am I to turn down such an offer."

* * *

Amelia, regal Queen of Genovia was hidden behind a heavy velvet curtain peering through the window.

Father Pierre, Prince of Genovia and respected member of the Church hid behind the other curtain on the opposite side of the window peering out at the same scene.

"You know I don't do this." He whispered.

"Sometimes you have to, despite Grandma not approving. It's the only way to know what's going on."

"She looks so very happy, incredibly happy, I don't think I've ever seen her this way."

"Me neither, I remember how she was when she came to San Francisco, how difficult it was for her to even hug me goodbye. When she fell into the pool the other day I nearly died laughing."

Pierre chuckled. "When we were young she was lots of fun."

"She was? Ooh, look, there they go."

In the distance two horses disappeared over the hill, Pierre could just make out his Mother's laughing face.

The pair stepped back from the window and Mia looped her arm through her uncles. "Tell me about her."

"Well, she loves adventures, she used to take your father and I on long walks through the grounds, I mean right up to the very boundaries. We would picnic by the river, swim in it."

"Grandma swam in it."

"Yes, and occasionally we waded in fully clothed looking for tadpoles."

Mia giggled, somehow the image of the usually upright Clarisse looking for tadpoles was impossible to imagine.

"We had lots of fun with her, when we escaped the Palace. We are blessed living here, the riches we have bestowed upon us, I always wondered what it would be like to grow up without it. I think somehow she understood that, which is why she supported my decision to abdicate so wholeheartedly. Father wasn't at all happy; she was the one who won him around. And Philippe of course, he always had a way with him."

"What was he like, it's hard to think of him as my Grandfather, we never met."

Pierre sighed. "He was a good King."

"I know that, the people obviously loved and respected him, it's obvious."

Nodding Pierre continued. "He was, indeed he was. And every now and then, when he escaped the role, he was also a good father, Philippe and I loved him very much, but somehow we also feared him."

"Feared?"

"Not feared him perhaps, we feared disappointing him. We wanted to live up to his expectations; he worked so tirelessly for this country, believed in it, his everything went into it. There wasn't usually that much left for us. Mama was the family, father… well father didn't always have the time."

They quieted as they took the stairs down towards Mia's office.

Once inside Pierre continued.

"In the early days he made the effort, we took vacations, yearly. As he got older he worked more, I think as Philippe and I got older and began to travel alone, University and various escapades Mama was lonely, she took on more roles, especially when father's health deteriorated. And then when… after Philippe…"

Mia swallowed and slumped back on the gold embroidered couch.

"She never speaks of it," Mia whispered.

"It's difficult for her, for us all. Such a shock."

"When she came to San Francisco, a few months after, she showed no signs. I was desperate to know more about him, loved it when she would drop little snippets of information, I should have asked more."

"Perhaps, I'm not entirely sure she would have revealed anything… she closed herself of when he died, I hardly recognised her when I returned. I think Joe was the only one she would speak too about it. I will be forever grateful for whatever he did to bring her through. For what he has given her over the years."

Mia smiled. "It's good to see them together now, they're so cute, especially when Grandma thinks nobody can see them. She flirts."

Pierre laughed. "I'm sure. And I hear Joe is doing wonders in the education department."

"Very much so." Mia nodded, uncharacteristically adopting a more serious tone. "He's a wonderful speaker, he makes a fine ambassador."

"I will never understand just what you did to get her to marry him."

"Neither will I really, it was a gamble."

"One that paid off." Pierre moved back from the window and sat down across from her. "So, I'm assuming you have a role in this 'wedding'."

"But of course, Lily and I are doing the music for them too."

Pierre raised an eyebrow. "She agreed to that?"

"Hardly, she had no choice. She did agree to allow me to help her choose her gown though. We have a final fitting later." Mia bounced on the couch excitedly. "Wait until you see her dress, it's gorgeous, and I have a wonderful dress too…" She smiled broadly. "And I hired a new beautician, no more Paolo."

Pierre laughed. "That man's an institution in himself."

"He's terrible, I hate having him mess with my hair." Mia made a face. "And he's so very sexist. I'm surprised Grandma allowed him in the palace at all."

"She's full of surprises."

"She is. Do you think Joe has worked it out yet?"

"No, he thinks it's an Anniversary party, that's all. We weren't lying, in a way it is."

"Certainly, with an added romantic gesture." Mia glanced at her watch. "Let's go have some lunch before I have to go meet Grandma, mustn't be late."

"She hates that." Pierre smiled rising from his seat.

"Oh believe me I know, you should come visit more often Uncle, I like having an ally."

"And I like having somebody to fill me in on the gossip."

"Of which there is always plenty."

"Yes, Mama mentioned you're still, now what did say… 'dating' that young man who tried to steal the throne."

Mia laughed to cover her embarrassment.

"So, tell me all about him." Pierre held the door open for her.

"Grandma says it isn't appropriate for Queen's to gossip."

"Then don't tell Grandma…"

* * *

_Hope you enjoyed reading that as much as we enjoyed writing it, last few chapters will be up soon. Please review!_


	33. part 33

**Disclaimer: **Don't own, just having a little fun with!

**Author's Note:** Only 2 more to go...

**Mixed Signals** - _Part 33_

The morning dawned cool and sunny, with only the slightest hint of morning fog rising over the grounds and from the small brooks running through the royal gardens. It was a tranquil scene to everybody who took the time to look at it.

However, at the palace nobody had the time for such a look or was even in a state of mind to do it. In the kitchen, the staff had long since started to prepare the meal for this afternoon's reception. Other staff were already making last checks that all necessary tables, chairs and the marquee were ready to be put up by the river. The maids were carefully inspecting that all necessary clothes were freshly pressed and folded. The clerical staff were going through the daily mails, memos and other papers. The security contingent made another sweep of the site of the event, as well as checking all roads to and from there were safe.

A normal day almost – except for the minutely rising undercurrent of excitement. The big day had dawned.

Inside of her suite, firmly and safely locked in her husband's embrace, Clarisse Renaldi Romerro awoke with a jolt. Her eyes flew open in shock. What time was it? Her eyes flew to the alarm clock. 7.10. Thank God, only 7.10. Taking a deep breath to calm her racing heart, Clarisse quickly went over the things she would have to do before noon today. Last dress fitting, checking with Chef and his staff, meeting with Charlotte, having their trip for tonight secured, checking on their vacation home. Oh God, so much to do and so little time.

And everything had to be done without Joseph finding out. It would be such a shame if he found out about her plans only a few hours before.

Taking another calming breath, then pressing a gentle kiss against Joseph's arm under her head, Clarisse carefully eased out of his arms. Standing beside the bed, she took a minute to watch him sleep. An overwhelming feeling of tenderness overcame her.

Such a gentle man, so fiercely protective and yet so tender. He had once admitted to her that he could spend hours just watching her breathe, now Clarisse found that it could be indeed an occupation with which she could fill hours. It was so calming to see Joseph sleeping peacefully in their bed. The sheets were rumpled and hung half on the ground, only their tight embrace had secured that they had actually stayed covered by them.

Clarisse grinned. There was much to be said about the 'last night fling' as it were. Of course, there was also much to be said about the 'first night'. But that would have to wait. Even though the sight of Joseph's naked chest tempted her to climb back into bed and sensually wake her husband with a few feathery kisses on his torso, she could not indulge herself this morning.

Too bad. With a sigh of regret, Clarisse stealthily made her way into the closet to pick up the necessary clothes and items for the morning. She would go through her morning routine in one of the guest suites.

When Joseph woke up, she had to be gone…

* * *

After dressing Clarisse stole away to Mia's suite where a quick breakfast had been set up, yet she could not force herself to eat more than a few bites. Even though the table was full and exclusive, she couldn't muster any appetite. The knot of excitement in her stomach seemed to grow by the minute and spread throughout her body bathing her insides in a heat of nervousness.

Outwardly absolutely calm and collected, she felt the flutters rising. Even picking up and holding her teacup was proving difficult as the flutters seemed to have taken over her hands.

"Grandma, your hands are shaking." Mia's voice came from far away it seemed, but when Clarisse raised her head, the young woman stood right beside her and took the expensive china cup out of her indeed shaking hands.

Sitting down with a concerned smile Mia studied her grandmother. If she didn't know better, she'd almost believe that today's ceremony was the original wedding and that it was to be feared that somebody would voice objections. Her grandmother had never been so nervous before. Mia smiled again. It was sweet.

"Are you nervous about today?" she asked, but then corrected herself, "no, you are nervous. But really, there is no reason. We have everything organized and the whole family will be there and they're all looking forward to it. The food will be ready, the music too. And Joe will love it."

"I hope so." Was that really her voice? The thin, almost timid little sound?

Now the young queen's smile turned indulgent. "Grandma, really now, Joe will love your surprise. How could he not? You want to marry him in the face of his entire clan. And you'll be the most beautiful bride this country has ever seen, he will definitely love it. And he'll understand why you kept it a secret."

"Do you really think…"

"Your Majesty, Mia, the dressmaker is here again and he's driving me nuts with all this fussing. Can you come now before I kill that nut cake?"

"Lily!" Clarisse was scandalized. Although secretly she had to agree with Lily's assessment of Misr. Galins, Mia's best friend should really work on her choice of words.

Lily Moscowitz had the decency to blush at the gentle reprimand. "I am sorry, your Majesty, but this guy is really driving me up the wall."

'Me too, Lily. Me too.' Clarisse thought with an internal sigh as she rose from the breakfast table. With a last look at the barely touched food, she straightened herself to follow the girls to her – hopefully – last hassle with the dressmaker. The gown was breathtaking indeed, but the tailor…

As she reached the door, Clarisse turned around once more and caught a look at the digital clock Mia had set up on the mantle of her fireplace.

8.23. Three and a half hours left.

* * *

Joseph turned and stretched in the luxurious bed, the room was warm and his body felt wonderfully relaxed and lethargic. Clarisse's scent clung to the sheets, clung to his very skin; with his eyes still closed he recalled the events of last night.

It had all started strangely, she was scheduled to join him for dinner in their suite at 7:00, it got to 8:15 and she still hadn't appeared. A hasty phone call from Charlotte was all he had received. Hence when she finally did march into their dining room in a flurry of apologies and kisses he had been less than welcoming and remained stony-faced on the couch.

She had showered and changed and he had poured himself yet another Cognac and lay down on the couch to watch television. He knew she disapproved of frivolous TV so he made a point of choosing the most cringe-inducing show he could find. Some game show where contestants were humiliated in the name of entertainment.

"Joseph…" She grumbled as she entered the lounge. "What on earth are you watching?"

"I like it, it's funny." He mumbled gruffly from his slumped position on the couch.

"Really, well you certainly look comfortable, sit up a little you're squashing my pillows."

"It's what they're meant for…" "Is it really, well not these ones… besides, grumpy…" she leant over him. "You'll spill your drink."

He was not amused by her attempt at humour and he drained his cognac in one hiding the burn in this throat with a slight grimace into the pillow.

Clarisse had moved behind him, out of his sight, to the balcony windows looking out over the grounds.

"I certainly hope the weather holds for tomorrow, a little breeze would be helpful though, not too much, certainly no rain for the garden party."

"Mmph…" was his only reply, he would rather overlook the fact she had obviously gone to such trouble to plan an anniversary party, he was still pissed off that she had not only stood him up for dinner _again_ but not even bothered to contact him personally and apologise.

"Joseph…" She whispered huskily leaning over the back of the couch and touching his arm. "Don't be angry."

"I'm not."

"Yes you are, I know that face, it's sulky."

"I don't sulk."

"You don't?"

"No. I don't."

He turned away as she grinned at him.

"Oh Joseph… I said I was sorry, you know I am." She moved around the other side of the couch standing in front of the television blocking his view.

"Do you want me to show you how sorry I am?"

He shrugged turning onto his back, arms folded across his chest.

She seductively shed her dressing gown revealing the long cream silk nightgown she wore beneath it. It clung to her body and a line of lace began at her breasts and wove its way down through the silk temptingly revealing the slightest amount of flesh.

He felt his body shiver but still remained staring at the ceiling nonchalantly.

She deftly moved to the couch and slid down on top of him, her face mere inches away from his she lifted her hand to his face and stroked his cheek.

"You love me…" She whispered nudging his nose with hers.

He resisted but when she persisted in teasing him he broke into a smile and grabbed her waist holding her tight against him.

"Yes, yes I love you." He said breathlessly.

"I should think so, I chose this outfit especially for you."

"I'm one lucky man." He lifted his mouth to hers and they shared a sweet, slow kiss.

"Do you think we might be able to switch the television off now?"

"You have something more interesting planned?"

"Oh I think so, we should practice one last time, don't you think, before we celebrate our anniversary…"

And so they had made love there on the couch in the lamplight, afterwards he had carried her to bed and for hours they'd lay side by side speaking is hushed tones, reminiscing on the year gone by.

Groaning Joseph turned over to Clarisse's side of the bed and reached for her. It was empty, she was gone.

He looked to the clock, well it was gone 9 in the morning, she had never been known for sleeping in late.

He sat up and looked to his bedside table, no note, perhaps she had ordered breakfast for them.

As he dropped his feet to the floor and climbed out of bed it suddenly hit him, today was their anniversary. Today, a year ago, Mia was preparing to marry, he and Clarisse were barely communicating, he was heartbroken and preparing to leave the palace, and perhaps Genovia, for good.

Never had he imagined that the day would grant his deepest desires and greatest dreams.

Now a year later he was so in love, so completely wrapped up in her that he couldn't imagine ever not being near her. Not sharing every moment of his life with her.

He made his way out of the bedroom and into the lounge area, through into their dining room and out of the balcony doors. Each room empty but out on the private balcony area a tray sat on the table.

He lifted the lid to find pancakes and strawberries waiting for him. Freshly squeezed juice and coffee waiting to be poured. She was good! A small cream envelope rested against his coffee cup, a white rose lay next to it.

Gently tearing the envelope open he took out the small card and read her elegant swirled handwriting.

"_Good morning my darling, I do hope you slept well. Today I am going to spoil you, for my plan to come to heed I ask only one thing of you… please do as I say!"_

He chuckled out loud imagining her smiling over those words.

"_I ask that you remain in our suite for the morning, read in the sunshine, relax in the bath tub, do the crossword, or even watch your darn television programmes but please stay there. At 12:00 noon I would like you to come to the gazebo where I will meet you and inform you of the next part of your treat. Have a wonderful morning my love, and I will see you very soon. C_."

Smiling he glanced over the edge of the balcony, all seemed perfectly calm and organised. Off in the distance he could see that the marquee had been erected and as he watched tables and chairs were being arranged out on the lawn.

Well, there really was nothing for him to do but enjoy whatever she had planned, beginning with breakfast. He seated himself, placed a napkin over his lap and drizzled a little maple syrup onto his pancakes. He might as well thoroughly indulge himself.

* * *

It was bloody 9.45 and her list of things done had only become one point shorter. And all due to this bother of a man. Honestly, the nerve of some people, Clarisse thought in exasperation. Where Misr. Galins had gotten the idea that he was not only alone in the world, but had also the right to dictate how other people spend their time was beyond her. And that wasn't even the worst of it.

Not only had he kept her in for the fitting for almost one hour longer than she had anticipated and therefore tightened her morning schedule immensely, he had also constantly droned on about the inability of his other customers to value a good dress. In addition, his mode of operation was exasperating in itself. If the result of his efforts were not so breathtaking, Clarisse would almost have regretted having hired him.

Hopefully, the final result would be worth all trouble she had endured for it. If only Joseph appreciated her outfit as much as she hoped he would. A grin crossed over her face. There would be no doubt about what lay underneath the gown, and Joseph would certainly appreciate her choice of jewellery, but now, mere hours before the actual ceremony, Clarisse couldn't help to feel another bout of nervousness flooding through her.

The whole affair seemed so, so… so big all of a sudden.

Turning around a corner, Clarisse stopped her steps and held on to the wall for a second. Closing her eyes, she sent a short prayer to the deities above. 'Please, let him like it.'

"Your Highness, your Highness, there you are." Charlotte's voice sounded profoundly relieved. "Chef has been asking urgently for your presence. He says, he can't guarantee the quality of the food, if you do not come down immediately and finalize the plans."

The aide's face was a mask of excuse. Between the droning on of the dress maker and the constant whining of Chef, she had no doubt that Her Highnesses liking for Frenchmen had diminished considerably over the last two hours. The rather uncharacteristic rolling of her eyes proved that theory right. The deep breath she took to calm her apparently already frayed nerves, did as well.

Charlotte sighed inwardly. If the morning went on like this, they would have one very upset bride on their hands soon.

And barely two hours to get it all done.

"Your Highness, we really have to go to the kitchens."

"Yes, yes, Charlotte, I am with you." With one last deep breath and prayer to the heaven's above. 'Oh Joseph, I wish…'

"Your Highness…"

* * *

"Would you please have some tea sent up for her Highness? Thank you." As Charlotte made the phone call, Clarisse sat down in the overstuffed armchair in her office with a sigh. Hiding her face in her hands she shook her head tiredly. What a morning. If only she could have stayed in bed with Joseph until it was time to dress for the ceremony.

Thinking of her husband brought a smile to her face. In less than twelve hours they would be at their hideout, where nobody would disturb them and finally, finally for the first time in weeks they would be truly alone. And for the first time in almost a year without any cares in the world. No appointments, no calls, no schedules, no guests. Nobody.

Just Joseph and her.

The thought was almost too divine to believe.

They could make love all over the house, they could act silly, have fun, joke, become lost in each other. She could walk around the house barefoot, without make-up – if she wanted, even completely naked.

How perfect it would be….

"Your Highness?" Charlotte's voice shook her out of her happy daydream. "Mr. Dawson is on the phone, he wants to know if you plan on riding during your holiday. He says, he'd need to stock up on hay, if that were the case."

Clarisse couldn't help but smirk internally. Planning on…? A deep blush rose to her face. Seriously, hadn't they…

"Your Highness?"

"Tell him that he doesn't need to stock up. If we change our mind, we'll call in advance."

Charlotte eyed her former queen, deciding mentally that she really did not want to know what that smirk on her face meant. Some things were better left unknown.

A look at the clock however showed that there was very little time for such musings. 11.20.

In forty minutes they had to be done.

Clarisse signed the papers put in front of her mechanically. She didn't have the mind to think about trade agreements or arrangements for visiting dignitaries. There were more important questions to be solved.

Light yellow or pale violet?

It was so silly. In only an hour she would be at the mercy of that new hairdresser Mia had hired. Hopefully, this man was not as overbearing as Paolo. Then her ladies maids would come in to do her make up and help her into her gown.

It sounded so easy and yet, again Clarisse felt her stomach churning. She was certain that Joseph would like her plan. Actually, the surprise and then joy spreading over his face – she could picture it in her mind, had done so for days now. In his happiness, she would see her own reflected.

The proposal would be perfect. Joseph would love it.

God, why was she so nervous?

* * *

_Please review... we're getting there! xxx Rhonda & Suse_


	34. part 34

**Disclaimer:** Don't own, wish we did... my how things would change!

**Author's Note:** MAJOR ROMANCE ALERT! You have been warned so don't complain later, only one more chapter to go after this one, YEY! Enjoy.

**Mixed Signals -**Part 34

by **Posh** and **Stoneygem**

Joseph lazily crossed from the French doors in the library down the stone steps and through the garden. Around him bushes bloomed with roses, every colour imaginable, all Clarisse's work he knew. The fragrance was almost overwhelming; in the sunlight the delicate flowers lifted their heads to the warmth and filled the air with a sweet headiness.

Digging his hands down into his pockets Joseph located his sunglasses and slid them on. The gazebo was in view but he couldn't yet see Clarisse, in fact as he looked around it struck him he could see nobody, no gardeners, no maids, not even the odd sighting of a security member. Shaking his head he climbed the three steps up to the gazebo and stood looking out over the grounds.

"Enjoying the view?"

He turned at the sound of Clarisse's soft voice; her footfalls were silent as she crept up the steps towards him.

"It just got better." He smiled turning to face her; she wore a pale yellow skirt and a light top. "You look very summery. The embodiment of happiness."

"Why thank you, I have tried to make an effort." She stepped towards him and lightly kissed his cheek.

"Any particular reason?"

"All will be revealed… in time." She moved around him sitting to his left. "Shall we sit for a moment?"

"Whatever you wish." He smiled, she was enjoying this little game, as he sat he noticed Maurice lazily collapse next to her feet, settling himself in the sunshine.

"Are you going to inform me what's going on this morning my dear?"

"Perhaps not just yet… oh by the way, Happy first Anniversary my love." She leant forward and kissed him fully on the mouth, leaning into him slightly, feeling the warmth of his body through his shirt.

She handed him a small red box tied together with a black ribbon.

"And the same to you." He whispered slowly opening his eyes to look at her, "you look exceptionally beautiful this morning."

She shrugged. "You were right, it's happiness." She reached forward and slid his sunglasses off. "Now, open your gift."

"Thank you." He glanced down at the box and pulled open the ribbon lifting the lid from the box, he took out the tissue paper and eyed the gold items as they glistened in the sunlight.

"Look at them." She urged.

He tipped the cufflinks into his palm and turned them over, a pair of entwined letters, C and J, he almost shed a tear over the simplicity, the small thought that meant so much to him.

"So we're always together, when you're away."

"Oh my darling, they are wonderful, thank you so much." He reached forward and hugged her, stroking her back and kissing her head. "I'm afraid my gift to you is in our suite, I didn't think we'd be doing this here… such a wonderful idea."

"I wanted…" she stumbled on her words a little, now the moment was here she felt slightly uncertain, could she really do this, could she do it well?

Would it not bring back memories of their pain last year when in this very same spot he had asked her the self same question and she had hurt him so much. An agonising feeling pierced her chest as she recalled the anguish on his face during that dance, the moment she had spurned him.

"Clarisse, darling, what's wrong?"

She felt his hand grip her wrist, his thumb gently stroking her pulse point.

"Nothing, I just, I have something to say… to ask… I'm a little nervous."

"Oh?"

"Yes, I… well, I have to just…" She rose and gingerly bent in front of him.

"Clarisse?"

"Just let me… may take me a moment to get down here."

She knelt on the tiled surface as if it were a plush carpet and placed her clasped hands in his lap.

"Joseph, I know that this may seem slightly, insane," she swallowed, "and yet I cannot prevent myself from asking, my dear Joseph… my love." She touched his cheek, held his gaze, "I do love you Joseph, more than ever, more each and every day."

"I feel the same."

"This year has brought us such uneven times, so much confusion with each other at times, yet woven into each and every moment of uncertainty is my love that has grown and strengthened for you."

"Clarisse…"

"I need to say this," she shifted a little on her knees, they were getting numb; she should have planned a shorter speech. "I never thought it was possible for it to grow, I didn't realise I could feel more and more and more…" she smiled. "What I'm trying to say is this marriage means so much to me, and I'm forever sorry that our wedding was so rushed, that your family and friends were not present, that we had no time to plan things how we wanted them to be – to celebrate our joining properly."

She took a deep breath and held his hands tightly in hers. "Joseph, will you marry me… again?"

"I erm…" He raised an eyebrow, slightly confused.

"A blessing, here, today. I know it's only been a year but somehow it felt right, this feels right, your family are here, your closest friends, my son, it is all as it should have been." She leant into him. "Will you marry me Joseph?"

Without hesitation he replied. "A thousand times over my love."

She jerked forward into his arms, his hands on her shoulders, her hands reaching to grip his upper arms.

"Clarisse, you've been planning this," he chuckled, "for how long now?"

"It seems like forever, damned dress makers and proud Chefs." She grumbled into his chest.

He laughed again and helped her to her feet as he himself stood.

"Oh, my poor knees, I shall be suffering for days."

"Oh my dear," he kissed her hands. "I shall kiss your knees well again."

"There will be time on our honeymoon."

"We have a honeymoon?"

"But of course, I wanted to do everything properly this time around."

He smiled warmly. "Clarisse, I can't believe you've done all this, I sometimes forget just how sneaky you can be."

"Sneaky?" She playfully tapped his chin.

"Yes sneaky… now tell me just what a blessing entails."

"Now we reach the stumbling block, I rather hoped, I mean, I wanted our own vows. However I have had the privilege of weeks to plan what I should say, you…"

"I have a few hours?"

"Two… if it's not long enough then there are vows in place but I'd rather hoped…"

He placed his finger against her lips. "My vows will be ready."

"Thank you." She kissed his mouth gently.

"There are no thanks needed… now do I have any other orders to follow, such as locking myself in our suite all morning."

"Oh I am sorry about that, I apologise, but I needed to hide it all from you."

"Where do we marry?"

"By the lake, in the sunshine, with those we care for as witnesses."

* * *

The sun was gentle, the afternoon pleasantly warm but not overbearing, a light breeze rustled the leaves on the willow tress that hung over the lake.

Joseph closed his eyes just for a second, breathing in the scent of summer, right now everything felt perfectly right, everything was aligned the way it should be, nature was watching him along with those he held closest in his heart.

Glancing up again he spotted the faces of his relatives, many in awe of their surroundings. His gaze settled on Louisa, she smiled at him, warm and full of joy. He dipped his head to her and smiled back, they really were so alike these days, he'd always overlooked it as a child but now it hit him every time he saw her. Those same dark brooding eyes, that appreciation of nature, the calm even temper they kept.

It seemed like he'd been standing there forever, after rushing around for the past hour in an attempt to make himself presentable and prepare his vows, now he stood in virtual silence waiting for her to arrive. It was her privilege to be late and keep him waiting.

When he finally heard the first strains from the violins his eyes darted up between the assembled guests as they stood, Mia was moving towards him, walking a little too fast, she looked nervous! He wondered how she could be nervous these days but still…

Clarisse followed behind her, alone, moving slowly, so gracefully, she seemed completely at ease, completely ready for this. She held white lilies and beautiful blue Irisesin her hands; the necklace of diamonds and aquamarine he'd given her in Vienna sparkled at her throat. And she wore white. A long free-flowing dress, no clumsy decoration, no tight bodice and full ball gown, it was simple and unstructured. She struck him as some kind of Greek goddess as she progressed down the makeshift aisle. She was quite simply breathtaking, and her smile shone with love.

When she finally stopped next to him she surprised him by leaning forward and kissing his cheek.

"Don't look so nervous." She whispered in his ear.

He took her arm and together they took the final few steps to where the Bishop stood.

* * *

Joseph stared at her for the longest time, into those eyes he knew so well yet still found so much in them, so much promise and hope. His breath seemed to catch in the back of his throat as he attempted to speak, she smiled warmly and he felt her hand clasp his a little tighter, secure and whole, together. 

"Clarisse, you have been at the centre of my life for so long now… have been the root and cause of my happiness for so long I can hardly recall the day it began. I admired you so much, respected you, and from there our friendship grew and I value that above all else. The fact we have this friendship and trust, beneath it all, I trust you more than anybody I've ever met. The love that has grown between us, I never thought I could ever feel more but each day it continues to astound me, I know how incredibly lucky we are to have found each other and this…"

He shook his head, something in her eyes told him she understood and some things should be kept solely between the two of them and not aired for all to hear and see.

"My love, you are the one that I will share my life will, and I promise to do everything to make our time together the happiest…"

"Oh you already do." She whispered. "You do."

Leaning forward slightly their lips met in a quick, gentle kiss that conveyed everything for which words had not been invented yet. Clarisse felt light, giddy, almost as if she was floating.

The voice of the archbishop barely registered, as he asked her to speak her vows. All she could focus on, were Joseph's eyes, the encouragement she saw there. Just as always, he was supporting her in what she did. Clarisse's smile brightened – it was so easy.

"My love, when I thought of love in the past, it always seemed to be something that had passed me by, something I would never understand and never feel. I wasn't unhappy with this because I never knew what I missed. Love was a hazy concept for me until I connected it with a name – yours. I didn't know what love could be until I felt it with you, until you filled my days and my nights, my every dream and every fantasy. You made loving seem so easy and I fell into you and your love without wanting it to end. Every day you bathed me in your love, made me relish in the warmth, gentleness only you possess underneath that hero-image."

Joseph couldn't suppress a slight twitching of his mouth, couldn't help but notice that Clarisse did the same. Giving her hand a slight squeeze, he saw her smile brighten, becoming even more radiant. He felt almost blinded by it, and if it had not been for her hand firmly held in his, he would have thought, he might leave the ground.

"You made me come alive as a person and as a woman, showed me that I am more than just a queen. You made me laugh and you made me cry. You made me hope and you made me despair. And most of all you made me try. Our love made me try to face the problems we had, made me try to solve them. Even when I thought that there was no way out, that we couldn't succeed, our love made me go on. You made me go on. You are a hero, my love. The person I turn to and will continue to do so for the rest of my life."

The tears were threatening to fall. She didn't know how to hold them in and when she saw a single one make its way down his cheek, it was the most natural thing to raise her hand and cup his cheek. The gesture, done hundreds of times and yet so new and meaningful again, it made her heart swell. The look in his eyes, it was all she needed.

Clarisse lowered her eyes a little bashfully; a flash of how sappy this must sound running through her mind.

"If there is one thing which I have realized during the last incredible twelve months is that in the end, only one thing counts: I want be your wife. I want us to share our lives, every single bit of it. I want to travel with you and be the wife of Mr. Romerro wherever we go. I want to be there, waiting for you, listening to you, standing with you, supporting you. I want to spend my days and nights with you in every sense. And I know that we will, because our love is everything to me. You are everything to me."

There was a sob from somewhere, though Clarisse couldn't have said where from. It didn't matter though; nothing mattered, except the man before her. Her man, her husband, her love. Seeing the happiness brimming in his eyes, reaching out to her, enveloping her in a net of love and delight, Clarisse slowly leaned forward, just like she had done a year ago and lightly touched her lips to his.

Only this time, Joseph did not shy away, then an almost terrified receiver of a kiss. This time he was a demanding participant, drawing her closer, deepening the meeting of their mouths.

* * *

The summer day seemed to be almost ethereal in its perfection, Louisa thought as she let her gaze wander over the elaborate garden. The champagne in her hand was chilled and tasted incredibly well. The food she had had on her plate earlier was simply exquisite, the music unobtrusive but of highest quality and above all of this the haze of a perfect summer day – warm, sunny and a mix of yellow, green and blue – cast its glow on the party.

She had not expected it to be this lavish and yet so familiar and nice. Clarisse had outdone herself with this gift to Joseph.

Thinking of her sister-in-law, Louisa had to giggle. Yesterday evening, Clarisse had been no more than a case of nerves, mindlessly afraid that her husband might dislike his surprise.

Some self-delusion. Joseph adored the party and so did everybody else.

Since Clarisse had made her way down the aisle the couple seemed to be quite literally glued to each other, touching the entire time, kissing most of it. Anna's brother had half-jokingly asked if they didn't have a room to go to. She had barely held her own snort in.

However, now – half an hour later – Louisa doubted that either Clarisse or Joseph really cared.

"They look so happy, don't they?"

"Yes, your Majesty, they certainly do."

"Oh please, call me Mia. You are …what now? My…uhm…great-aunt?"

"Something like that, I believe." Louisa chuckled.

"I am glad that they made it this far. They love each other so much. I never believed I would ever see grandma being so happy, so …well… free. It's all because she loves Joe so much and he loves her."

"I believe you. To be honest, I had all but given up on my brother. He always went for women with class, so I often thought that the woman he was looking for didn't even exist. And then, when I realized that he had fallen in love with a queen…"

"You thought he must have lost his mind!" A male voice cut in.

"I never thought that uncle Ernesto." Both women looked scandalized at the suggestion of the old man.

Ernesto Romerro chuckled slightly under his breath at the shocked expressions of the two women. He just loved to get a rise out of such beautiful creatures – his niece and his new great grand niece, such pretty young ladies. Almost as pretty as his newly blessed niece-in-law.

Now that was a sight for his old eyes. Young Joe had really gotten himself quite a woman. Kind, charming, funny and so beautiful.

If he were a good 20 years younger and not already married to the most beautiful girl on the planet…then…then he might even give his nephew a run for his money.

Speaking of his nephew, however, "Well, I wouldn't blame you, Louisa, I certainly thought he was out of his mind to go for a queen."

"So did I, to be honest." Jorge joined in. "I mean, what do you think when your best friend admits to being in love with a real queen."

Mia chuckled at this. "I don't know, but I sure hope that the man I will – hopefully – fall in love with will have a best friend who doesn't think him off the rocker for loving me. I mean we can all see that Joe is definitely still in his right mind."

"And his mind is hopefully on dancing." A female voice with the slight undertone of nausea-chimed in. "I can't bear to think what else he has on his mind instead."

"Oh Aletia," Louisa laughed, "You sound like a child realizing that her parents are really doing IT."

"Well, lets face it: They are certainly doing IT."

The small group erupted in groans. "Your Majesty, that was one image I didn't need." Aletia whimpered.

Mia's face scrunched up embarrassedly. "It is the truth and I have the imagery."

"Now that is my boy!"

"Uncle Ernesto!"

It was Charlotte who interrupted the conversation. "Your Majesty, the dance is about to start. If you could make your toast now, because her Highness and Sir Joseph have hinted that they wish to leave early so that they will reach their destination before dark."

The queen's aide was rather confused at the exchanged looks among the group. But she became even more nonplussed, when Sir Joseph's uncle exclaimed "My boy, indeed!" and the rest of the group broke out in laughter.

* * *

"It was a beautiful ceremony, don't you think mi querido? A little too much dancing for me today though. I am exhausted."

Ernesto Romerro carefully pulled his chair closer to his wife's. "You should not exhaust yourself so much, cariño"

"It was such a lovely thing though. The ceremony and the garden here, and the food and the music…"

"And the newlyweds." Ernesto teasingly interrupted, knowing his wife's penchant to get overly emotional at weddings. Sofia had proved it earlier again, when she had used up a good number of tissues during the – admittedly beautiful – ceremony.

"They are hardly that, Ernesto." Sofia indignantly exclaimed. "This was their one year anniversary today. You saw it on television last summer, remember?"

"Yes," the man sighed, "but only now can I see them as truly joined. Dios mio, getting married without the family, in a spur of a moment. I really believed my nephew would possess more reason than that."

"The heart does things for reasons, reason cannot understand, mi amor. You of all people should know that."

"But, but…"

"But, you are actually overwhelmed that your nephew married a royal. And you feared that they deliberately did not invite us to their wedding, even though we all could see that they were not even intending to get married. And then you were afraid that this royal woman would be stuck up and cold and look down on us and that as a result your boy would do so too."

Ernesto had the decency to blush under his wife's stronger growing voice. As frail as Sofia looked, her tongue was a nasty piece of work, when she was angry. It was a lesson he had learned the hard way over the last 62 years.

"You were afraid of it. But you see, it all turned out well in the end. And what a lovely woman our Joe has married."

"Yes, she's lovely indeed."

"Yes, mi perrito, and she's married to another." Sofia's eyebrow rose knowingly.

"As everybody could see, when they were dancing earlier, aunt Sofia." Louisa couldn't keep the smile out of her voice.

"I wonder if they ever do this dance at an official ball here. I imagine that would cause quite a scandal."

"No, they dance it at balls. The Wango is an old traditional dance here in Genovia. Joe and grandma told me, when they taught me to dance." Mia said.

"Are you saying that you were actually taught to dance like that, your Majes…Mia?"

The young queen smiled. "Well not exactly like that. If Joe had danced with me like that, I would have died of embarrassment. And grandma might have scratched my eyes out for getting that close to her man."

"But they actually dance like that during royal balls?" Louisa was still incredulous.

Everybody chuckled.

"Not exactly like that, with much more distance between them, of course."

"Which is a good thing too. They would cause a riot like that. Come to think of, I'm glad we were outside, inside it would have become unbearingly hot."

"You have a dirty mouth, Louisa. And a dirty mind, too." Sofia scolded, but her eyes were dancing.

As a footman announced that a late dinner was served, Louisa muttered quietly under her breath: "I am certain, my dirty mind is nothing compared to those of my darling brother and his dear, proper wife."

And before she entered the palace on her husband's arm, she sent a silent message out. "Enjoy your honeymoon, Joseph. And enjoy your wife. You deserve it. The both of you."

* * *

_PLEASE leave us a little review - thank you dears! xx R&S_


	35. part 35

**Disclaimer:** Don't own, but goodness we let them have fun!

**Author's note:** Well here it is, the final chapter. Of course it's had to be cut forhere -ha ha ha - so the full uncensored version is available on my C&J website. Thank you for sticking with us, hope you've enjoyed the bumpy ride over the past 15 months... yes 15 months! And we'll probably be back with another story, we shall see.

**Mixed Signals -** Part 35 – the FINAL chapter

The night was still, so silent, as if nothing existed but he.

Taking the last few steps down the open wooden staircase Joseph let go of the handrail and glanced into the lounge, the moonlight streamed in through the bay windows, casting discreet shadows along the polished wooden floor.

The air almost seemed magical; he could see the dust particles swaying in the light, yet he knew if he reached out to touch them they would be gone.

Instead he dug his hands into his dressing-gown pockets and headed around the bottom of the stairs and along the short hall into the farmhouse style kitchen.

The clock on the wall said 3:15, certainly no time to be up and about, and certainly no time for eating. Yet he couldn't sleep, and the honest truth was he was peckish.

Smirking to himself he swung open the fridge door, Clarisse always planned everything down to the final dot on the final i. The refrigerator was stacked with everything they could possibly need. He considered snacking on the deep purple grapes that looked so fresh and ripe, but his sweet tooth took over. Taking out a selection of cheeses he placed them on the table and searched in one of the cupboards until he found what he was looking for, Dundee cake. Mrs. Webber always made the best and he just knew she would have included his favourite afternoon treat in the food hamper.

Slicing himself a piece of the cake he sat down and mulled over which cheese to open first. Settling on a particularly ripe looking Brie he peeled back the paper and cut himself a chunk off. A glass of ice cold Beer would do just the trick as an accompaniment but he couldn't find any in the fridge so he made do with a simple glass of water.

The clock behind him struck 3:30 and he settled back in his chair, the sweetness of the fruitcake splintered in his mouth by the cheese. A delicious gooey mess, a rare delicacy that he'd discovered was just gorgeous as a child. His grandmother's version of Dundee cake and the cheese the local farmer produced. It was one of those matches he found and instantly loved, cheese on toast with mustard, prunes and bitter chocolate, oranges in the morning with coffee.

Clarisse always screwed her nose up at his "rare delicacies"; well he figured at least he didn't have to share.

Satisfied Joseph pushed his plate away and closed his eyes. He couldn't sleep. It was insane. There he was lying in bed with the most beautiful woman he'd ever met wrapped in his arms. The sound of the ocean waves lapping against the shore, nobody there but the two of them, nothing there to take the moment from him.

It had been an unbelievable day; he still couldn't quite get his mind around it. The fact she'd gone to so much trouble to organise it all without him knowing, the fact she'd said those words… those amazing, heart stopping words there in front of all those people. In front of all her friends and family as well as his. That she'd made that pledge. Her vows were now complete.

Still he couldn't sleep, his mind was a whirl with all those emotions, all those memories. Watching her walk down the aisle, dancing with her, that extravagant dinner with his entire family there, sharing in the moment. They'd danced until the early evening, until the light started to fade and the sprinklers were turned on the lawn. Politely they'd made their goodbyes and gone to change, for over an hour they'd lay together on their bed kissing and holding each other and whispering of their love.

Until finally she'd revealed they were heading to the cottage, a second honeymoon! His things had been packed as she requested, the car was waiting for them and they were driven out here.

After carrying her over the threshold, again, and more kissing. They'd taken a bottle of champagne down to the private beach and drank it together as the ocean crept in. Until they'd taken their shoes off and walked through the surf and finally back up to the cottage.

Clarisse watched him from the door, leant back in the chair with his eyes half closed, the moonlight reflecting off the water and casting strange shadows across the room.

She shivered in the early morning air; the warmth of the bed she had just lain in was fast disappearing. Grasping her upper arms in her hands she advanced towards him.

He looked up startled by her presence, smiling at her with his eyes from beneath his half open eyelids.

"What are you doing out of bed?"

"I might ask you the same thing?" She moved between him and the table and perched herself on the edge of it. "It's dark and cold down here."

He placed a hand on her knee. "Not terribly so."

She grinned and leant forward slightly. "Perhaps not for you but I'm not wearing underwear."

His eyebrows rose instinctively. "Mrs. Romerro! Really!" He shook his head in mock disapproval.

"Well there seemed little call for it, this is our honeymoon… kind of." She toyed with his fingers, playing with them in her hands.

"You are, as always, entirely correct."

He rested back in the chair again watching her watch him, enjoying the sensation of her tickling his skin.

"What are you thinking about?" She whispered lowly.

He shrugged. "What a day… what a year. Being old and sentimental."

"Ahh, I see." She pouted. "Not sad thoughts though?"

"Oh no, blissful ones. Lucky ones." His other hand rested on her knee. "I'm not sure what I did to ever end up this way, you know there was so much more I wanted to say to you, more to my vows."

"I know, some words are better left for times like this. Besides," she leant forward again, "I like hearing you say those words when we're alone."

He lifted his hands up to her waist and guided her down onto his lap.

"Have you been eating cake?" She brushed the crumbs from his dressing gown.

"Just a little."

"And cheese as well no doubt, you shouldn't eat that so late you know."

"Shh, sometimes you talk too much."

"You might be right about this, but I have come to realize that for most of the time I talk too little. I share too little. I have resolved to change that. Especially with you." She leaned forward and brushed a not so innocent kiss over his lips, accentuating it with a swift sweep of her tongue over his goatee.

Joseph groaned in the back of his throat. That she could do that to him. So enticing, so passionate and so his.

"So," he managed to grunt out, "what do you want to talk about then?"

Clarisse's smiled was teasing and very self-assured. "Nothing at the moment. Right now, I have much less vocal things in mind."

* * *

Underneath the sheets it was cool, the satin cooled by the wind drifting in through the open window. Smooth and soft, they moulded over their heated bodies, warming and cooling at the same time. 

They were almost one being, locked in their embrace, their legs tangling, their arms embracing. His chest against her back was like a solid wall of warmth and comfort and Clarisse revelled in it.

With Joseph's arms locked around her, their bodies still trembling from their intense lovemaking on the kitchen table – God, they had made love on a kitchen table – Clarisse felt the safest she had ever felt. Even with Joseph.

Playing idly with his hand, twisting his wedding band around his finger, she sighed happily. "This is even better than my teenage dreams."

"Teenage dreams?" Joseph grinned. He wiggled closer to her and tightened his hold on her. "And what, pray tell, was included in your teenage dreams?"

"Oh you know, things I wasn't supposed to dream about, things a girl in my position should never dwell on." She craned her neck to look over her shoulder at him. "I'd forgotten how that felt, how those dreams felt, until we started this year together."

Tenderly, he stroked her cheek, turning her face a bit to his. He kissed her cheek, traced from her cheek to her ear with a breathy brush of his lips. Grinning slightly he asked: "Did you dream of a mysterious, bald stranger ravishing you on your kitchen table?"

She chuckled lightly, though it had to be said there was a hint of the naughty girl about it. "Certainly not, in some princess like way I dreamt that sex was all magical and spiritual. And it is, sometimes. I never counted on the heat and sweatiness of it all…" she tapped his chin with her index finger, "and I'll let you in on a secret, that's the bit I like the best."

He caught her finger with his hand and kissed the tip of it. "My darling, sex with you is magical. Magically perfect. And I'd say, quite often it is also a very spiritual experience. I never thought I could connect with anybody the way we connect." He released her finger to brush his hand over her side, down to her thigh and back. Kissing the side of her neck, he breathed, "Though I certainly don't mind when you are hot and your skin is moist underneath mine. It's very arousing."

She giggled again twisting around to press herself up against him, her arms around the back of his neck. "I should think so."

Now he laughed openly. "I'll take that as a compliment, Madame. But in all actuality, I'd love to dance with you now. I love how you move against me, when we dance, how I can hold you close and feel as if we are floating somewhere high above." Gently, he kissed her forehead. "Dancing with you is like making love to you, my darling, magical."

She stroked his cheek, lifted her leg up over his. "When I think back to dancing with you in America, that dance." She pressed herself against him. "Our dance, how nervous I was back then, how absolutely clueless about this. How it could be. How I could be." She kissed him very gently, very tenderly. "Yes, let's dance in the moonlight."

Smiling broadly, Joseph leaned down to press another quick kiss to her temple, then pushed himself up. Half kneeling on the bed, half standing already, he extended his hand and pulled Clarisse upright as well. He led her over the window, left of the fireplace. Looking around, Joseph searched for the small stereo, but Clarisse's hand on his arm stopped him. She shook her head gently and took him in her arms. They didn't need any music. The exotic strains of their dance, when Joseph had destroyed her wall of grief, was in their hearts. They didn't need to hear it.

Joseph held her close to his, one hand drew gentle patterns on her naked back, the other firmly enclosed her fingers. Brushing a kiss against her temple, he slowly swayed them to the sensual rhythm only they could hear.

"Do you think," she whispered, "there's the slightest possibility that somebody is on that beach down there catching a glimpse of their monarch's naked behind?"

"I certainly couldn't blame them." He put on his best 'cocky, but adorable' grin, then kissed her again "Don't worry, my darling. Nobody can see, not your lovely naked behind and not, how far down your freckles go. That's reserved for me only." For emphasis, his hands wandered down to squeeze her butt.

Clarisse blushed and lowered her head bashfully. When she looked up again, he saw something in her eyes that surprised him. Tears. "What is it, my darling?"

"Happiness," she smiled tearfully. "Of course happiness. Always with you." She lifted her mouth to him and kissed his soft warm mouth, rubbing her chin against his beard. "I never dreamt I'd ever be this intimate with somebody, never even hoped." With her arms looped around his neck she gazed into his eyes. "You make me think…" she drifted off momentarily then re-started a little more certain of her words. "You make me think of things I wanted to do, things I wanted to experience. Things, teenage girls dream of, when they hope that the world is theirs for the taking."

Joseph could feel that this wasn't exactly what Clarisse had intended on talking about. Her body was tense in his arms, more stiff than she had been for weeks. Tenderly, he stroked her cheek, turning her face a little to his. He kissed her cheek, traced from her cheek to her ear with a breathy brush of his lips. "And tell me, _did_ you dream of a mysterious, bald stranger ravishing you on your kitchen table?"

Clarisse bit her lip as he breathed against her skin; a lovely tingling was spreading again over her body. At his words, she sucked in a breath, shocked for a second and then…she laughed. "You already asked me that, my darling. You want we to bolster your ego?"

"One can but try." Joseph grinned and pressed her closer. In a swift move he twirled them around. "So, did you?"

Again, Clarisse laughed. "I'm afraid not." Cupping his cheek, she smiled tenderly. "I could not have dreamt of this. Never imagined how happy I could be. Some things are too good. You can not envision them."

Joseph stopped their swaying. His eyes were serious, despite his smile. "I know. I never believed, we could happen. And yet, here we are. After one year of marriage, we are here and I seem to love you even more than I did a year ago."

Without volition, he raised his hand, just as Clarisse did the same. Simultaneously they folded their fingers together.

"I do love you." He whispered.

The smile on her face was tremulous, tears hanging heavily in her lashes. Looking into his eyes, she could see that he was fighting just as valiantly.

"Oh Joseph…"

His thumb gently traced the contours of her eyes, catching the tears that threatened to fall.

"I don't know sweetheart, look what you do to me, turn me into a gibbering mushy wreck…" he shook his head trying to shake off the heaviness of the moment.

"I'm sorry," she smiled nobly, "I'm sorry, I won't do it again." Trembling she stood on her tiptoes and kissed his mouth. "Let's go back to bed, oh my dear, sweet, perfect husband."

"You think I'll ever get used to hearing you say that to me?"

"Perhaps, in another twenty years." She stroked down his bare arms delighting in the feel of his muscles underneath her palm.

"You think we'll still be doing this?"

Cocking her head curiously to one side she blinked up at him. "Dancing?"

"No…" with a sudden movement he scooped her up and carried her back to their bed, lying her down gently on the still warm sheets. "This."

As he rested next to her, half leaning over her body she delicately rested her arms over his shoulders. "I think if you're still doing that you're back will be as bad as your knees."

"Ha, very funny madam!"

"Aren't I, I hardly ever get to show it." She giggled and he laughed with her bending his head to rub his chin against hers. Her arms tightened over his shoulders and she held him closely to her. "You know I once caught Mia eating ice cream in the kitchen in the dark, middle of the night."

"And what were you doing awake may I ask?"

"Ohh difficult times, but that's not the point. I chastised the girl for it."

"And?"

"And right now I can think of nothing better."

"Than eating ice-cream in the kitchen?"

"No," she playfully tapped the back of his neck. "In bed, sharing ice-cream in bed. Do you think its possible…"

"I think it's highly possible there is some very expensive ice cream down there in that freezer, are you asking me to go get it?"

"No." she shook her head fiercely. "I can go, I'm not incompetent."

"Who ever would dare suggest such a thing?"

Rolling onto his back she moved with him and lay across his chest staring at him, a pout upon her face.

"You are incredibly regal even when naked on kitchen tables."

"Ohh don't tease me."

"I thought you liked it."

At this she smirked and rested her head down on his chest. "Ohh I'm sleepy, suddenly."

He reached to stroke down her spine. "A moment ago you wanted ice cream."

"I want everything, all of it right now, to share everything with you that I've always wanted and never got or done or been brave enough…"

"We have the time my darling, as much time as we want. It doesn't have to be part of an itinerary, things will just happen. Our life will just happen."

"I know. I'm just so very afraid that somehow I'll miss something."

"No you won't, I won't let you. And if ever we get to a point where we're feeling distant or frustrated or giving each other these crossed wires and mixed signals we come out here and spend some quality time together. Agreed?"

She slowly lifted her head up and smiled tenderly at him. "Agreed."

"Quality time on kitchen tables."

Again she giggled. "With cake and cheese?"

"And ice cream."

"Hmm, good." Happily she moved and kissed him, deeply, slowly. A kiss full of warmth and hope and commitment, it reminded him so much of their first kiss in that church, at their impromptu wedding.

"Goodnight my darling Clarisse."

"Goodnight Joseph." Again she rested on top of him, feeling him pull the sheets up over their bodies. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"Waiting, being patient. Oh just your love." She sighed. "Just love."

"Thank you for returning it."

* * *

_Please leave us 1 last review! xxx Rhonda & Sue_


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